Here we are! The End! The climax! Why am I using so many exclamation points! On to the reviewer responses!
Darth Sekhmet: I wrote it in the Third Age of Middle-Earth...or in 2006. I never can remember.
Haraneo B.P. Wicked: It's okay if you miss a review, I don't mind. Well, to give a few spoilers, Mr. Fluffy isn't in this chapter, Mace doesn't die, and Anakin doesn't fall to the Dark Side. Hey, two out of three ain't bad...
Princess of Ithilien: Yay! Another pianist! Thanks for all the reviews. And yes, I do butcher the movies. But I still love them. Seriously. I am obsessed with Star Wars. I even like Episode II! Now you know I'm messed up.
thepenguinsquad: Yes, I had to make some joke about how Palpatine's face gets all creepy-like...Anyway, thanks for the review.
Nelarun: Actually, I used the "other way idiots" joke in one of my other stories where no one seemed to mention it. And my dad is feeling a lot better.
miss-AZ: At risk of a spoiler, you're going to have to kick my behind. 'sigh' I never would have signed on for this job if I knew it was going to hurt this much.
G-Anakin13: Okay, maybe I did dumb Adi down a little bit...but she's still about a million times smarter than the rest of the characters.
TOO MANY REVIEWS! I need a break. So, enjoy the final chapter...and remember, I am not liable for any injury incured by corny endings.
Disclaimer: The following chapter involves a Cream Vanilla Mocha Latte, Jar Jar Binks, and lots and lots of exclamation points. You have been warned.
"NO!"
Anakin sliced off Mace's hand with his lightsaber. Mace stared at him. "Hey! I only have two of those!"
Palpatine held up his hands. "UNLIMITED POWER!" He shot bolts of lightning from his fingers. Mace sidestepped and the bolts hit Anakin.
"AW IT BURNS!" Anakin leapt out the window.
Mace watched as Anakin fell to the levels below. He cringed. "Ow. That has to hurt."
Palpatine shrugged. "Ah well. He was just going to kill me in Episode VI."
"No, he kills you in Episode 6."
"That's what I said."
"But you used Roman numerals." Mace furrowed his brow. "I've always wondered; why does the author use Roman numerals? It just confuses people. Why doesn't he just use the numbers!"
"Good question, but, sadly, we don't have time for an answer." Palpatine jumped up. "I am Darth Sidious, and I shall destroy you all!"
"Not so fast!"
They wheeled around. Obi-Wan, Adi, and Yoda burst into the room. Obi-Wan pointed at Palpatine. "Give it up, Palpatine! We're here to save Shaak Ti and rescue Anakin from your clutches!"
"Anakin's dead."
"Oh." Obi-Wan turned back to the door. "Well, my job here is done."
Adi grabbed him. "No it's not. We have to conclude with an unfunny final chapter because the author has so many unfinished stories. We have to defeat Palpatine now!"
"I'm not Chancellor Palpatine, I'm Darth Sidious!"
"We already know that!" all the Jedi yelled in unison.
Yoda drew his lightsaber. "Kill him, I will, for awesome, I am."
"Sorry, Yoda, but that can't happen quite yet." Adi nodded at Shaak Ti. "Give her to us, Palpatine!"
Shaak Ti looked at them. "Um, I'm not bound to the wall in any way, shape, or form."
"Oh. Right." Adi lit her weapon. "Okay, now it's time for some awesome lightsaber moves!"
"NOT YET!"
They wheeled around yet again. General Grievous ran into the room. He chuckled. "You Jedi fools! I have completed my mission for Darth Sidious!"
They all stared at him. Obi-Wan cocked an eyebrow. "What secret mission again?"
"Oh, come on! Don't you guys remember? It was in chapter 6! I got assigned to the secret mission that would allow the Sith to rule the galaxy! Don't you guys remember what happened in that chapter!"
"Dude, nobody has an attention span that long."
Palpatine sneered. "Enough talk! You really completed the mission?"
"Yes, Lord Sidious. I—" He started coughing and wheezing. The others watched him cough for a long time. He stopped and took a deep breath. "Sorry, the author had to get in one joke about my coughing before the story ended. Where was I? Oh yes. I have completed your mission, Lord Sidious! I can now present with the item you so desire!" He held out a Starbucks cup. "A cream vanilla mocha latte!"
"Yes!" Palpatine took the drink. He sniffed its aroma and smiled. "UNLIMITED POWER!"
"We already did that, dude."
"Oh, right. Sorry." Palpatine sighed. "We really don't have an ending for this, do we?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, you're right. What are we going to do?"
Mace dropped his lightsaber. "Well, there's only one way to end this. Bring in the dancing Ewoks!"
Ewoks poured through the door and broke through the ceiling panels. The cute little Endor natives filled the room and then all burst into song. Adi turned to Palpatine. "Truce?"
The chancellor nodded. "Truce."
The main characters all put their arms around each other and headed to the window. With shouts of "Yub-yub!" filling their ears, they stood sipping lattes and watching fireworks go off.
Obi-Wan put his hand to his chin. "This is almost perfect. But I just feel like something's missing…"
The Ewoks hurled Jar Jar out the window. The Gungan screamed as he plummeted to certain doom. Obi-Wan grinned. "Okay. Now everything's perfect."
And the friends smiled, all happy and sugar high.
Congratulations. You've just read the corniest ending to a story EVER.
But enough of that. On to the credits…
Written and directed by me
Based on characters created by George Lucas
Starring all the characters as themselves
And OPO-236234873077 as Wade the Battle Droid
All proceeds go to the Foundation to Make Republic Commando 2
Special Thanks to
God (for making me)
My family (because they rock)
My sister (for reading this story, laughing at the jokes, and coming up with the ending)
My cousins (for always playing with me)
Mrs. Ronie Kendig (for teaching me how to write)
George Lucas (for creating Star Wars)
John Williams (for composing Star Wars music)
And Brian Singer (for directing the first two X-Men movies and Superman Returns, which, by the way, is AWESOME)
Now I'd like to thank my reviewers:
Duo Jagan: Only reviewed the first three chapters, but was my first reviewer and helped jumpstart the reviews. (Or maybe he didn't, I don't know.) Also has a great sense of humor.
miss-AZ: One of my top reviewers. A coffee hater, like me. (Be afraid, Starbucks employees. Be very afraid.)
Haraneo B.P. Wicked: Another one of the top reviewers. Wrote long reviews with a style unlike any other...Okay, maybe not, but I'm running out of things to write.
G-Anakin13: The most consistent reviewer. Usually wrote pretty short reviews, but they kept me going, even in the dark times. (Which were never.)
sunset.rising/Hilary: I think these two are the same person since they signed their reviews with the same name. Reviewed anonymously the first few reviews but then of course used her (at least I'm hoping it's a her) profile for the last review...the same review that I asked her if she had an actual profile... 'smacks forehead with hand'
AceGray: Jumped on the bandwagon a little later than the others but had quality reviews. In fact, I thought all of my reviewers did a good job at not being overly inappropriate or spelling like two-year-olds. Thank you.
Nelarun: Another late reviewer. Only reviewer to reply about my dad, for which I thank him greatly.
thepenguinsquad: Had one review. Seemed enamored with the "plastic surgery" joke...something I really love.
Princess of Ithilien: Though a late reviewer as well, did a lot of reviews...Also a fellow pianist. (Which rocks.)
Darth Sekhmet: Our final reviewer. Put in reviews for the last two chapters. Sorry Aayla Secura didn't appear in the story.
And also I'd like to thank you, the reader, for reading. Or at least staring at the computer screen in a dazed state while I rack up the hits.
Will there be a sequel? Will it be as good as the original? Will you read it? Find out later, on the continuing adventures of Mister Frodo!
End