AthanLorien
(Away from Lothlórien)
Haldir had exchanged his uniform and tunic for the nondescript civilian clothing that he wore when he was off duty. While not as imposing as the armor and bright scarlet cloak, the beautifully woven and tailored elven clothing still made him stand out in the group. Still, Haldir was able to get from one end of the tiny market to the other without anyone noticing him, much.
It was market day and all the out lying farmers brought in their produce and eggs to sell and barter for whatever they needed that they couldn't fashion with their own hands. The smithy roared as horses were shod, plows were mended and men traded for bright new harnesses. A thousand familiar smells floated from the pies and bread that the women who selling, mingling with the scent of summer apples that had been brought from the forest edge on the borders. Their fragrant spice was almost foreign to the treeless plain and many children eyed the ruby fruit with hungry eyes.
Elonde worked the leather booth with her daughter, Castiel, the woman who was the mother of the two boys Haldir had seen the previous night. For a moment Haldir and Élonde's eyes connected and she inclined her head. But Castien was coming toward the booth and Haldir didn't stop. He wanted to avoid any further confrontations with the human. They served no good purpose and only served to drive a wedge between the families. For Haldir knew, Éleyond loved Castien like a father.
The thought left a bitter taste in the Warden's mouth, but he didn't dwell on it. Rúmil had taken Ferevellon out to one of the guarding posts to retrieve more medical supplies and to consult with any of the other healers that they had brought with them. Elrond's famous wine could only do so much and Haldir wasn't about to stake Éleyond's life on its restorative powers, no matter how potent. Pilindiel had come to the market, but without Haldir. Dressed in a simple brown work dress she had pulled from nowhere, she moved among the booths examining the wears the various people offered.
She laughed and smiled in her free and winsome way that Haldir knew was a carefully kept attitude so she could win trust. Humans often thought this was subversive behavior, but they really had no idea how hard it was to earn their trust. Pilindiel was doing so with a pretty face and friendly eye. Even as she allowed a jewelry merchant to tie a string of glass beads around her throat, she was gaining their trust and learning how to reach them better.
"Warden?"
Haldir turned and found himself, for the second time, face to face with his son.
"Éleyond," he answered. He bit back the urge to ask if his son was well, should he be out after such an illness, was he all right. Éleyond's face was pale but not abnormally so. He wore a worn tunic and seemed ready for a ride in the plains instead of a festive market day.
"What can I do for you?" Haldir asked.
"I came to see you. And since that is the reason you came to Pellis, I think we had better have a chance to speak without the inference of my loving, but worried family."
"I agree," Haldir nodded, "Is there some place we could...?"
Éleyond considered his father a moment, "You once lived here, Warden. I think you might know a place better then I."
"Then come," Haldir answered.
The people parted to allow the two room to pass by and whispers filled the air where they passed. Haldir could almost feel Castien's eyes on the back of his head, but the tanner didn't interfere. That was well; Haldir couldn't have had much more patience with the man if he kept butting in. As if sensing his father's thoughts, Éleyond said, "You never liked him did you?"
"Who?"
Granfather—Castien."
"No," Haldir replied and then blinked in surprise at his son, "How did you know?"
Éleyond gave a half smile, "It isn't hard to tell. My Grandfather has never been secret about his dislike of you, and your temperaments are exactly alike. Although you hide your dislike far better; you make a formidable commander no doubt."
"I believe there are those among my company that would agree with you. But I did not gain my position in the Galadhrim because I was lacks."
"No, I imagine not," was the amused reply.
Éleyond followed his father toward the well that lay just out of the town's gate. It was an old well, deep but dry for many years. Grass had grown up around the crumbling stonework and the wood cover was sagging wearily.
"Your mother and I came here often to talk," Haldir said, 'It was the only place Castien never thought to look for us."
"Why?"
"Because your mother hated fetching in the water. She complained about it all the time." Haldir said laying a hand on the cracked handle.
"I never knew that," Éleyond responded, "They never speak of her."
Haldir sighed softly and sat on the edge of the well, looking down into the depths, "Neither do I."
"Then why have you come now?" Éleyond asked, "You must understand that your appearance has thrown everyone in the family into turmoil. I assume you know they think you're going to kidnap me."
"I thought it was a likely conclusion for Castien," Haldir answered. He narrowed his eyes against the morning sunlight and said, "What do you think?"
"I think you might have done that if I was a boy, but since I am a man you have to persuade me to come back to Lothlórien with you." Éleyond crossed his arms over his chest in an unconscious mimic of his father, "Am I right?"
"I like to think I would have been a bit more democratic about it, but I fear you're right. I would have taken you even if I had to fight the whole village."
Éleyond gave a mirthless chuckle and said, "That is what I do not understand, Warden. You claim to have a great deal of affection for me and yet you only came to see me when I have already reached my majority. I find it difficult to believe that you came to see me for fatherly love."
Haldir stared at his son, every feature that Éleyond had inherited from his mother evident in his challenging face. This was the part that he had been dreading.
"I did not know that you were alive," he whispered, "I thought you were dead."
The following silence was painful. Dust was kicked up by the wind and swirled around them in little eddies. Éleyond's face had gone pale, confusion reigned in his eyes. His mouth formed the words, 'dead' but no sound came.
"Why? Why did you think I was dead?"
"I was told, incorrectly, that you and your mother died together," Haldir lied, "The message must have been changed by accident on its way to me."
"And you never came to see for yourself?" Éleyond asked.
"No," Haldir lied glibly, "And I see I was wrong."
"You'll forgive me if I hate you for it," Éleyond said coldly, "And you were wrong. Very."
Haldir winced inside from his son's words. But he had had to lie to Éleyond. His son would never thank him for destroying his faith and trust in the one man he had called father all his life. Even if he hated Castien for other reasons, Haldir could do that to the human. Haldir would have the rest of eternity to explain once the old man had passed away. But not now, not when his relationship with his son was poised on so thin an edge.
Éleyond's voice caught and he began firing questions at his father in rapid fashion, "And so how did you learn I was alive?"
"My brother Rúmil saw you when he was here last. He knew that you were my son immediately and came back to Lothlórien and told me."
"How?" Éleyond demanded.
"What?"
"How did he know it was me? That I was your son?" his voice held a curiously pleading tone, as a child asking, 'do I look like you', to their parent.
Haldir tapped his nose, "This, an unfortunate family trait, I'm afraid."
"Our noses?" Éleyond gave a laugh, "Our noses, not the ears? Everyone always notices them first. That or the eyes."
"But the ears and eyes are characteristics of any Peredhel," Haldir explained, "Only one of my descendant's could have inherited my nose."
"By the gods, I should have known," Éleyond said, "It would be my luck to be recognized for my nose."
"In any case, "Haldir went on, "he came home and told me. I came as soon as I could."
"Well, then that's that," Éleyond said with finality, "what do we do now?'"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean," Éleyond said angrily, "What do you want now? You've seen me, explained about the situation and now here we stand with nothing more to say to each other."
"No. No, that's not true." Haldir cut in harshly, "I didn't come here to see that you were my son and leave. I came here because for years I've lived under the illusion that my only child was dead and suddenly I find him alive. I came hoping that I could, somehow, gain your friendship and..."
"And what? Love me? Warden, I understand, perhaps more fully then you think what you must be feeling. But neither you nor I know a thing about the other. I cannot love you and even though I am your son, you cannot just love me like a father would because you do not know me."
Éleyond moved to stand before his father, their eyes locking again, "Even if I were to go back to Lothlórien with you, and live as an elf the rest of my days I would not have that son's love for you. I am not an elf in the sense you understand. I am human, I have human feelings and hopes and dreams. I have wild human emotions that are based on the thought of a short life. I do not have the time that you have to begin another life. I do not believe you can understand that, Warden."
"I loved your mother, Éleyond," Haldir said brutally, "And she was as wild a human and short lived as any I have seen beyond those who perish in war. You hide behind this facade of humanity because you are afraid."
"What! How dare you say that? You who abandoned me to the point of not even assuring yourself of my death? How can you say that?"
"Because I am afraid," Haldir shook with his emotions, "I am afraid that after finding you alive that I will lose you to the senseless mortality of men. I will lose you twice over, and the pain will be all the greater, because I have seen and spoken to you. I will know that the world has lost another good man. And human or elf, you are my son and I cannot help loving you."
Éleyond stared at his father; the tears that gathered in his eyes against Haldir's every will. He could feel his father's pain rolling over him, and he felt the answering throb in his own heart.
"I was born into a world without you, Warden," he said, "I only knew you as a name. Now, I am dying because of you and my mother. You're right, I am afraid. I am afraid that everything in my life is falling apart around my ears and I have nothing to do with it."
"Then let me help you," Haldir pleaded, "Let me show you how to live as an elf."
"You mean leave Pellis," Éleyond jerked his chin toward the village, "I can't, it would kill my grandfather. Even if you hate him, he's been the only father I have known. He's rough, but kind. I could never leave him. He isn't well and hasn't much time left to him. My leaving would be the end. No, I cannot leave."
Haldir felt helpless inside. He didn't know what to do so say next. Then a fresh breeze sprang up around him and a tickle of conscious invaded his thoughts.
Stay with him, Haldir.
Haldir almost smiled. He knew what he would do, what he had done thirty years before.
"Then Éleyond, there seems to be only one course of action," he said firmly, "I will stay here."
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"I don't like it," Ferevellon said, as he and Pilindiel packed their bags.
"Neither do I, but there's nothing we can do about it," she answered. She snapped out the dress she had worn that day and smoothed it into a tight roll before packing it into her bag.
"It just seems, unfit somehow,' the healer went on, "Behavior quite unfitting really."
"Not if you consider the fact that it's happened before," she said, 'I am sure that the lord and lady know what their about when they give orders like that."
"I think it's a shame. Only mortal woman should do things like that. We Eldar should be above such things," Ferevellon grumbled.
Pilindiel paused and looked at Ferevellon in confusion, "I don't think we're on the same page, Ferevellon. What are you talking about?"
"You, and those...people in the market, fawning all over you in that sickening human fashion. It was disgusting the way those men went on about how 'fair you were' and what 'a fine lass you made in that gown' and their comments about what a buxom wife you'd make someone someday... as if you need worry about finding a husband. Rúmil thought it was funny, but I didn't."
The healer rumbled on, oblivious to Pilindiel's reaction. She was standing there staring at his bent head with a broad smile on her lovely face.
"Oh, well. I was talking about Haldir remaining in Pellis." she said and quickly focused her attention on strapping her bag closed.
Ferevellon's head shot up but Pilindiel's relaxed posture indicated that she hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary in his words. He sighed, and smiled when she looked up at him.
"I'll be glad to get home," he admitted.
"So will I. I don't see how Haldir will be able to stand being away from Lothlórien so long. He's famous for his love for the Golden Wood." her eyes sparkled, "It would be amusing to see how long he will last."
Ferevellon grinned wickedly, "Shall we have a bet on it?"
"Why not?" she laughed.
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Rúmil scanned the town and the few people that were watching the elves depart. Turning to his brother he said, smiling.
"I don't like it, but I don't suppose that will change your mind any."
"Not the slightest," Haldir answered seriously, "You will speak to the Lord and Lady?"
"Certainly, but I think she probably already knows," Rúmil pressed his lips together, "I hope you know what you're doing, Haldir. I don't want to come out here in three months times and find that tanner fellow murdered you and ate you for breakfast."
"Rúmil, I am sure that if I should be eaten you would hear of it before anyone else." he embraced his brother tightly, "give my greetings to Orophin, he'll be furious he wasn't told first. And take care of the Wood for me."
Rúmil smiled and shook his head, "If they don't kick you out, Haldir you will be back in a few months time. You just won't be able to stay away."
"I assure you that I will be fine," Haldir said dryly, "Take good care of yourselves."
"We will," Rúmil called out, "Pilindiel! Ferevellon! Ready? Move out!"
The two riders became their way across the plain with farewell nods to Haldir. Pilindiel looked a bit unhappy, but Haldir had insisted that she return to Lothlórien for her own safety. Even if the majority of Pellis was made of good up standing citizens, he wasn't going to have her take the chance with the few bad apples.
Rúmil wheeled his horse and asked, "By the way, why would I know you were dead before anyone else?"
"Because," Haldir's eyes glowed with mirth, "I'd come back to haunt you."
"Ye gods," Rúmil exclaimed irreverently. Then, pulling up his horse thundered over the plain to catch up with the other two.
While his heart longed to be with them, returning to the Golden Wood, Haldir felt the pull of his own flesh and blood more. He found Éleyond standing behind him when he turned, the young man's eyes following the rapidly disappearing elves.
His eyes fell to his father and he offered a half-hearted smile, "Well, you're still here."
"Did you tell your grandfather?" Haldir asked, ignoring the comment on his presence.
"Aye, and he's mad enough to chew nails. He's in better health now than in years, I think the anger is doing his heart good," Éleyond shrugged his shoulders toward the town gate, "I thought you'd better stay with me. I've a small house on the--"
"--Outlying border of the town, I know," Haldir smiled, "Your mother and I lived there while we were married."
"Oh," Éleyond looked surprised, "Maybe that's why I like it so well. Is there anything else I should know about it?"
"It maybe haunted, "Haldir said, "There was always the worst pounding over the bedroom ceiling when--"
"When the wheat was just getting ready for harvest," Éleyond smiled, this time the expression reaching his eyes, "I think I already knew that."
"It still happens then?" the warden asked disbelieving.
"Never a night in autumn when it doesn't," the Perehel grinned, "I guess this will be like old times won't it?"
"We can try," Haldir said. And he and his son walked into the gates and through the streets to their home.
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