Chapter 3 – Begin the Begin
Kate smiles as she watches Claire playing with Aaron. Even though they don't have a lot in common, she and Claire have become close friends. After all, they need friendship if they're going to get through this. Briefly, she closes her eyes and remembers what Jack said. "If we can't live together, we're gonna die alone."
"So, Kate, what are you thinking about?" Kate opens one eye and glances at Claire. She's almost scared to verbalize it because it seems crazy. She plays out the various scenarios in her head.
"Crashing here… in this place… was like a breath of fresh air for me. I think it was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me." She bites her lip, waiting for Claire to laugh. To her surprise, Claire nods.
"I can't believe that I was going to give Aaron up. I think we all got a second chance, Kate, a second chance at life."
"You
know… once, Jack told me the same thing. He said we all died and
had a chance to start over." Claire giggles when Kate mentions
Jack, and Kate feels the heat of a blush. Suddenly, Kate has an
overwhelming desire to tell Claire about how she feels about Jack,
about how they met, and where they are now. She opens her mouth but
stops when she sees Jack approach. "Claire, I'm gonna go… take
a walk with Jack."
--
"Renee,
wait." Renee stops at the door and turns back. Jack's eyes are
bloodshot, and his voice is scratchy. "Please, don't go yet.
Let's… let's go for a drive."
"Your car isn't here." Momentarily, Renee closes her eyes. She feels herself begin to crack. She wants to stay.
"Growing up, it was so hard for me to trust men. And then when I did… he got hurt. He died, and it was my fault." She glances up at Jack and bites her lip. "I don't want you to get hurt."
He stares at her for what feels like a good minute, but he knows it's less. He tries to remember everything that has happened in the past twenty four hours, but most of it is a blur. All he remembers is Renee – everything she's said and everything she's done. And frankly, that's all he wants to remember.
Renee holds her breath for a moment. She eyes Jack and smiles, tentatively. He gets it. He's not pushing, and she doesn't feel the need to pull.
"We'll take a walk then. Come on. Let me buy you a muffin or something; the Starbucks around the corner is still open." Renee opens her mouth to say no, but she feels herself nodding yes. Suddenly, tears fill her eyes. Jack is by her side in an instant, but she turns away.
"I
don't know how to begin again."
--
"Jack!"
Kate glances up as a random survivor runs toward them. "Jack, I
need help!"
Kate thinks she hears Jack sigh, but when she looks at him, he smiles back. Only the tired look in his eyes gives any indication that this is all taking a toll on him.
Jack shifts the pack on his back and clenches his teeth while maintaining a smile. He never expected all of his training and years of school to come to this – treating scratches on an island in the middle of nowhere.
Kate watches him treat the woman's scrape. He works quickly and skillfully. She almost laughs as she thinks about what she did for him when they met on the island.
"If it had been anyone else, I would have said no." Jack looks up in surprise as Laura walks away. Kate shrugs and sits beside him, taking a moment to twirl a stick in her fingers.
"What do you mean?" Kate looks down and takes a deep breath, counting to five in her head.
"I
wouldn't have stitched up your back that day. Not if I hadn't
known."
--
"When
I was little, I used to suck on lemons, just to make my lips pucker." Renee licks her lips and adjusts the pillow behind her head.
Jack chuckles and takes another bite of his ice cream. Somehow, they've ended up back at his apartment, eating rocky road ice cream on the couch.
"I used hide under my parents' bed at night so I could hear when my dad got home," Jack says, slowly. He sighs and wonders if he would be that kind of father.
"I always wanted to go to the moon," Renee says, almost wistfully. "I wanted to do anything to get away from… from that house. It was never home for me."
"I wanted to be my dad until I found out who he really was. And now… I'm afraid I've become him." Jack's eyes slide toward his liquor cabinet and then back to Renee.
Silence fills the room as he leans forward and twirls Renee's hair around his finger. She reaches out and takes his hand in her own.
"I can't cook at all. I burn toast," she admits. Jack nods as he traces the lines that criss-cross her palm.
"Our cook taught me, when I was younger." Renee smiles in spite of herself. Growing up, she hadn't had a lot of money and often resented those who did, but this guy isn't like that.
"It figures. Your dad must have had a good job." Jack shrugs and nods as Renee continues. "I grew up in Iowa. I rode horses during the day."
"I read books and played baseball. I was always better at golf though."
"Renee isn't my real name." Renee covers her mouth in shock. She wants to take it back, but Jack responds just as quickly.
"And Chris isn't my real name." For a moment, they both sit in a comfortable silence. Somehow, they both knew that anyway, Renee thinks.
"I
love the rain."
--
The
small fire illuminates the faces surrounding it. Kate spots Jack,
near Claire and Charlie, and she squeezes in beside him.
"Hey. We're playing 'I Never' – want to join?" Against her best judgment, Kate nods and rests her head on Jack's shoulder. "Okay, Claire. Go."
"I never thought I lost someone forever and then found him or her again."
Kate's body tenses as she numbly accepts a shot glass. She glances at Jack, and for a split second, she sees his real side. For a moment, she realizes just how vulnerable he is to the pain.
And
then they drink.
--
A/N:
Jate is love. Please review – thanks!
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