NATSUME NULLIFIED

CHAPTER 4: Thoughts like a Tangible Thing

I stared at the teacher, trying to concentrate on the lesson. It was pretty hard with all the murmurs floating around me. It's not that I could hear everyone's thoughts. It's just that when someone dwells on one subject pretty heavily, their thoughts get louder and I pick it up.

...I wonder if I'm going to fail this class…

…why is it taking so long for my family to write back?...

…who am I going to ask to the prom?...

I cringed at that last one, already too familiar with it. How come it seemed like I was the only one trying to concentrate on the lesson?

Koko… Koko…

My gaze flicked to the side. That sounded like Ruka Nogi and he was thinking about me. What the hell?

If you're listening to my thoughts, give me a sign. Say… um… reach for your pencil.

I did as he asked and picked up my pencil. Then after a pause, I scribbled something in my notebook.

Wait, that won't do. I'm not sure if you just needed to write or if you're really hearing me. Do something else. Scratch your head.

A little annoyed, I reached up and scratched my head, feeling stupid for following someone else's thoughts. This was a first.

Koko, are you really listening to my thoughts or is your head just itchy? I need another sign that you're really listening.

I let out an exasperated sigh then slowly and deliberately I turned around and glared at him. Ruka beamed as I focused back on the board.

Oh good. This is good. I've had such a hard time getting you to sit down and talk that I had to resort to this. See, I need your help. I'm thinking of bringing Natsume and Mikan together and I can't do it alone. Can we talk after class?

That's what this was about? Bringing together the sunniest girl in school and the most sinister boy in the Academy? Now there's a fun idea. Slowly I turned around again and gave him a thumbs-up sign.

We met at the steps leading to the field where a couple of Elementary students were playing Alice dodgeball. I watched the ball hurtle through the air then suddenly crash into a million glass pieces before it hit the girl on the other team.

"Cool Alice," Ruka said next to me as the ball went back to normal, "She turns things into glass?"

"I guess so," I answered, "She must be a Special Ability type like Mikan."

The Special Ability types were no longer ostracized by the other students in the Academy. Two years ago, they even won the Best Attraction award in the Alice Festival. People have also stopped calling them outcasts or freaks. In fact, once we got to know their Alices, they seemed more admirable and entertaining than abnormal. It was a pretty cool change.

"Speaking of Mikan, what crazy idea do you want to drag me into?" I asked, turning to Ruka warily. I didn't want to be involved in anything dangerous. With Natsume concerned, the chances of that were quite high.

Ruka grinned, "You know Mikan wants someone to take her to the prom."

"Yeah…"

"And you know that nobody's asked her yet because Natsume's got some imaginary claim on her," He went on, carefully choosing his words, "Plus, if she's honest with herself, she's hoping he would take her anyway."

I nodded slowly.

"And Natsume does want to ask her, he's just too proud to admit it," He finished triumphantly then took a deep breath, "My question is, am I right?"

"What?"

"I want to make sure that what I got from hanging out with these two is correct and you're the only one who can tell me."

I gave him a laughing look. "You're worried you're wrong, aren't you?"

He didn't deny it. "Worried? I'm terrified I'll get this wrong and hurt them both," Ruka rubbed the back of his neck, "But Natsume's not making it any easier for me to get it right."

"Smart of you to check with me," I grinned. I had to hand it to Ruka, he knew who to ask. I fell silent recalling the disjointed information I picked up from those two for the past years. I don't have a habit of listening to Natsume. I respected him too much. And Mikan was nullifying me, unconsciously I think. However, having grown up with them, I do get snatches now and then, though I've never broken their confidence.

Natsume was always guarded but when he was around Mikan, he lowered his defenses. He hung out with us more, he was easier to talk to and he scowled less. And in those moments when he was calling Mikan an idiot, he was saying the same word in his head, but with some affection. I wouldn't conclude that he was in love with her, but I knew that she was special to him.

Now Mikan was easier to read since she openly cared about all of us. Still, there was one incident back when we were eleven that convinced me that she cared about Natsume in a different way. It had been a stormy day and Natsume wasn't in class. We all knew that he was out on another mission but even if we were worried, nobody spoke of it. We all thought the same thing. We were children and during thunderstorms, children are supposed to be indoors, safe; not outside doing dangerous tasks, tasks that we shouldn't have to understand. The room was eerily subdued and I remember stepping out only to find Mikan in the corridor next to a window, staring at the bleak skies. She looked so sad so I came over. Before she realized I was there, a thought slipped out.

I want to protect him.

"You're right," I told Ruka at last, that recollection still playing in my head, "They should be together. If Natsume ever asks her, she's sure to say yes. In fact, she'll be happy."

Ruka smiled, "I knew it. So you'll help me then?"

"Sure," I paused, "I have one question though, won't Natsume kill us?"

"He might," Ruka conceded, "Or he could thank us. I'm banking on that second one."

"So it's one or the other? Well, what the heck, let's do it."

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Ruka asked nervously.

"Don't worry about it," I assured him, "I've known Hideki for a long time. He does perfect replicas. One time he even shape-shifted into Mr. Misaki and got a bunch of his classmates out of detention."

"No, I mean do you really think this is going to get them together?"

"What's the harm?" I said breezily, "Hideki asks her, she says yes, and Natsume is going to be too nice to break the date. They'll go together anyway."

"Yeah, but what about us? He'll find out who did it and there'll be hell to pay."

"You're scared? You're the best friend," I said wryly, "I might never see the light of day again. But you said so yourself, he might thank us— eventually. He'll beat us up, go to the prom, and then thank us because he had such a good time. We'll just have to tough it out until then. It's the perfect plan."

Ruka cringed, "The perfect plan? I'm starting to have doubts about you."

"Relax, won't you?" I said, waving a hand at him, "Now shh, Hideki's almost there."

We were crouched behind some bushes watching Hideki, who was in the perfect likeness of Natsume, strut confidently towards Mikan.

"He got Natsume's walk wrong," Ruka remarked.

"Does it matter?" I asked irritably.

"Girls can tell these things."

"Be quiet and just watch."

We held our breaths as Hideki took the empty chair next to Mikan and lounged back in a flawless Natsume imitation.

"'Sup?" We heard him say and the illusion died.

I laughed. Ruka slapped his forehead, "He could have at least gotten that right!"

Mikan looked at him strangely, "Natsume, are you okay?"

"I'm cool. How you doin'?" Hideki said smoothly, in a tone that could never belong to Natsume. We could practically feel Mikan's uneasiness.

Trust Koko to get the worst impersonator in the world, Ruka's thoughts jumped out at me.

"Hey!" I started to say, but he sent me a dark look. We turned back to the scene then our jaws dropped. The real Natsume was coming and his features were inscrutable.

"Oh no," Ruka groaned.

"Maybe he hasn't seen Hideki," I ventured. Then to our horror, Natsume took one hand out of his pocket and produced a fireball. His approach looked more predatory than ever.

"He saw him," Ruka hissed. "Abort! Abort!"

"We don't have an abort plan! Hideki's on his own!"

"He's a dead man!"

We watched helplessly as Natsume got to the pair and Mikan looked up at him first in shock then in bafflement, "Natsume?"

"Hey, Pigtails," Then his gaze shot to Hideki, "You."

Hideki shot to his feet and for a moment it was bizarre seeing two Natsumes face to face. Mikan looked too bewildered to say anything. We waited in mortification at what was going to happen next. It took Hideki a while before he came to his senses, having been momentarily impaled by the real Natsume's scornful gaze.

"Oh hi N-Natsume," Hideki said with a nervous laugh. Then abruptly he changed his form to me, then to Ruka. He was giving us away! He changed to his original form, "I was just practicing. Gotta go now, peace out!" He started to walk away unharmed and we breathed again.

"Hideki Kobari, Class A," Natsume intoned behind him, a note of a threat in his voice. Hideki broke into a run and with him the plan disintegrated. Natsume took the seat he had vacated to talk to Mikan and we looked away with defeated sighs.

"Well, that was a disaster," Ruka said gloomily. We looked at each other for a second then laughed. At least it had been funny. Ruka sobered first, "Are you still in on this?"

I thought about it for a moment, reflecting on the thoughts I picked up from Natsume and Mikan all these years. After that first failed attempt, I was suddenly adamant on seeing them together. I answered seriously, "Ruka, I was always in on this." He nodded, understanding at once that I wasn't going to bail on him until we were successful.

"What are you two up to?"

We froze. Slowly we turned towards the disapproving voice and found ourselves staring guiltily at our three-star, class representative, who was looking at us suspiciously.

"Hey, Yuu."