NATSUME NULLIFIED

CHAPTER 5: Five Drunks and Me

I had to hand it to Ruka, the guy was enterprising and relentless. Apparently, he was also convincing because at the moment he was in a huddle with Koko, Mochu and even Yuu for crying out loud. I had no doubt of what they were talking about. I could join them right now and put an end to this madness. In fact, I think I should be given an award for forbearance. Yet, I didn't tell them off for one reason: it was fun watching them fail.

"It's a Drinking Alice," Mochu was saying, "He's one of the Special Ability types. All we have to do is get him drunk and Sakai could control him."

"Get him drunk," Yuu repeated warily, "Like that's the easiest thing to do."

"There'll be five of us," Koko pointed out, "One of us is bound to outdrink him. We just have to make sure we're controlling the bottle."

Ruka cringed, "I could name 500 reasons why I shouldn't go along with this."

"Yeah, but you can't name one idea that would work."

"You know, I used to head this operation," I heard him say and I almost laughed out loud.

"Look, just get Natsume there, I'll handle Sakai and the rest of you meet us at the bar," Mochu instructed, "It's the perfect plan."

"I've heard that one before," Ruka grumbled.

They dispersed and minutes later I jumped down from the tree where they had met under, thoughtfully staring at the clear sky. A Drinking Alice huh? Now this is entertaining.

"So we'll go there at around seven o'clock," Mochu told me casually as we walked down the corridor, "It'll just be us guys."

"Okay," I said at once.

"Okay?" Ruka repeated, "You'll go?"

"Sure," I said agreeably, "Come to think of it Ruka, you and I have never really had drinks together. Sixteen seems like a good age."

"Great," He said looking relieved then he started stroking Shiro, "I really thought you'd say no."

At that instant, Sumire joined us linking arms with her boyfriend before erupting into her usual babble, "That was the silliest meeting I've ever been to, courtesy of Mikan Sakura. She's taken up a new hobby by the way, and insists we all join her no matter how dangerous it is."

"What hobby?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Welding."

"Welding?" Ruka and Mochu repeated in unison.

"Yes, welding," Sumire averred, "And she doesn't even know how to use the darn thing. It's a weapon in her hands."

That idiot, I thought, hastily changing direction. I could feel the others close at my heels. Sumire informed us that today they were working at one of the wide open quadrangles of the Academy located near the Northern Forest. They were starting to set up the large metal complex that would hold the pars and other lighting equipment during prom night. When we reached the area, I strode out to the middle of the courtyard with every expectation of seeing Mikan Sakura in some kind of danger.

"Hi Natsume," Anna greeted, "What are you guys doing here?"

"What's she doing?" I asked nodding upwards at Mikan who was precariously perched on top of a 12-foot ladder struggling with a welder's mask and torch.

"The handyman never showed up and she insisted that the arches should be done today or else we'll be off schedule so she's welding those pipes together herself."

"Oh that just makes perfect sense," I said sarcastically before shouting, "Hey idiot! Get down from there."

Mikan's head whipped around and she lifted the mask off her face. "Natsume! I'll be with you in a minute, just let me finish this!" She stretched out her arms to gesture to the whole left segment.

"Get down from there before you get hurt," Ruka called to her. His white ferret scurried up to perch on his shoulder as he moved closer to Mikan.

"But I have to finish this," she said gleefully, "Then there's the right base and then the metal bars above." She gestured at the shafts fifteen feet above her.

"And just how do you plan to get up there?" Mochu asked.

"That's easy. I was going to ask Sumire to ask you to levitate me to reach those spots," Mikan explained, "No big."

"Levitate you?" I looked at her incredulously.

"Well yeah, either that or Hotaru could build me scaffolding that I could stand on," She replied, "But she wouldn't after I collapsed the last one."

Hotaru shook her head, "I was afraid she'd collapse it too, while she was on it."

Mikan beamed, "So levitating seemed like a much better idea."

I had heard enough. "Get down from there right now," I commanded.

"Not until I finish this!" She insisted, pulling her mask down again and proceeding with her task. Without warning I pointed my forefinger in her direction and blasted a concentrated beam to weld the two rods she was trying to fasten together. Mikan shrieked then started clambering down the ladder to get to me, "You moron! That was way too close to my hand! What would you have done if you had hit me? Are you trying to char my fingers?" She reached us and shoved me on the chest, "What did you think you were doing?"

"What else?"

"What else?" She said tersely, "You shouldn't even be here! You never wanted to be part of this committee! You shouldn't even be using your Alice!"

"What else needs welding Pigtails?" I said mockingly.

"Why you— ?"

"The other end of that rod you just did," Hotaru cut in, pointing. I aimed and fired, neatly putting the poles in place. "And the three partitions up there… and those five points at the left segment…"

Bam! Bam! Bam! Followed by five consecutive explosions and Imai went on to identify everything that needed to be fastened together. By the time I finished blasting everything she pointed at the quad was smoking.

Nonoko clapped, "Oh Natsume, that was great. You saved us a whole week."

"Hn," I nodded to her before rounding on Mikan, "You! Stay off the scaffolding, do not touch anything that could burn you and don't you dare try to levitate."

"You just fixed the stage, you just fixed the arches," Her eyes looked at me in wide-eyed wonder, "You just fixed everything! Natsume, you're an angel!" Then she suddenly leapt and threw her arms around me.

"Get off me!" I barked and she jumped back with a beatific smile still pinned on her face. Then without a word I turned and left the square just as a chorus of thank you's started behind me.

It was nearly ten o'clock. The six of us have been drinking all evening. Sakai didn't strike me as a person with a Drinking Alice. He looked like the old Yuu; the bespectacled Yuu who would never hurt a fly. In fact, he was so like the old Yuu that he had already passed out about fifteen minutes ago and no one noticed. No one noticed that their key player was knocked out. Why? Because each and every one of them was stinking drunk.

"Natsume! You're not drinking!" My best friend said jovially, pouring me another glass. I stared at him in disbelief. An hour ago, they were sticking to the plan. Now, Ruka really was just giving me another glass in good spirits.

"Pass more over here!" Koko cried happily. His cheeks were all red, like an overindulgent tomato. He and Mochu had just returned to the table after a round at the Karaoke bar.

"Don't mind if I do!" Ruka said agreeably. With an enthusiastic flick of his wrist, he poured us all drinks and the four of them downed it at the same time. I raised an eyebrow.

"You're— you're still sober," Yuu spoke through the haze of alcohol that was muddling his senses. He pointed an accusing finger at me, "You're not drinking."

I took the shot Ruka had poured out, "Sure I am." In truth, I was just as surprised as they were that I wasn't drunk yet. While the rest of them had steadily become intoxicated, I kept my wits. I had no idea I had such high tolerance for alcohol. Bad luck for them.

"Natsume, you're so stubborn," Yuu pronounced, motioning with his glass, "Why can't you just ask Mikan to the prom? Look, all of us, all of us here want you to ask her. We want you to be happy. Don't you want to be happy?"

"Everybody wants to be happy," Mochu said with a foolish smile, "Sumire makes me happy."

"Hotaru for me," Ruka put in, the flush on his cheeks deepening.

"I have no one," Koko said morosely.

I bit back a laugh. Then suddenly, Yuu glared at Ruka, "It used to be Mikan for you. Now, you're just breaking the code."

"What code?" Mochu asked.

"The code that says you're not supposed to date your best friend's ex," Yuu paused, "Or was it, you're not supposed to date your ex's best friend?"

"What kind of screwed up code is that?" Ruka demanded

"Who does that apply to?" Koko wanted to know.

"I don't know, Ruka I guess," Yuu replied, "He's dating his ex's best friend."

"But wait, Natsume is also Ruka's best friend," Koko pointed out.

"So?"

"So if Natsume dates Mikan then he'll be dating his best friend's ex," Koko went on looking at the two of us as though there was a gross transgression going on.

"What? What? Who's the best friend?" Ruka asked, lost.

"Ruka is Natsume's best friend," Mochu recited, staring off into space, "And Hotaru is Mikan's best friend." Then he stopped talking and smiled.

"And then?" I prodded.

"Ruka and Mikan went out… so now you and Ruka can't," Koko declared, raising his glass in triumph before downing the whole thing.

I actually chuckled at him, "It's okay then."

"So Ruka and Natsume can't date each other because they're best friends?" Mochu asked, thoroughly confused.

"Exactly."

"Wait, wait, that can't be right," At last Yuu, the supposed voice of reason spoke up, "It's Hotaru, Ruka can't date because that's his ex's best friend."

"But I want to date Hotaru!" Ruka whined but the others ignored him.

"Ohhh, so what you're saying is Ruka should never have dated Mikan if he wants to go out with Hotaru," Mochu concluded, sliding a superior glance at poor Ruka.

"That's right."

"But he's already going with Hotaru to the prom," Koko mentioned.

"Yeah, and he asked her in front of Mikan," Yuu supplied, lowering his voice to a stage whisper, "Right after she asked him to go with her."

"So cold," Mochu sniffed.

"Insensitive," Koko agreed.

"Jerk," I added with a grin. Ruka looked guiltily at the floor. Then suddenly he glanced up at me with a scowl.

"It's your fault!" He accused, "You didn't do anything to stop me. At least when I saw Mikan was special, I did something about it. Now look at us! We're damned!"

I tried to pacify him, "Mikan's a nice girl Ruka. She won't hold it against you if you're going out with Hotaru."

"You're right!" Yuu suddenly burst out, slamming a hand on the table. Everyone swiveled towards him, "She is a nice girl! And you're nothing but a pig-headed idiot!" I raised my eyebrows at Yuu but he wasn't finished, "Mikan has been one of my best friends for years and I hate what you do to her!" He held out a glass to Koko, "Give me another shot!"

"Are you sure you can take it?"

"Just give me another shot!" Yuu snapped and three glasses were settled in front of him. I swiped the one he reached for before demanding.

"What do you mean what I do to her?"

Yuu sneered. He actually sneered at me, "You don't even know. You always make her worry, you ignore the nice things she does for you and you don't even call her by name when she's around."

Oh, is that all? I leaned back, untroubled and drank the shot myself, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"It's you who doesn't know," Yuu scowled, "You don't know anything about her. You don't know how she likes her tea. You don't know how she spends her Friday afternoons. You don't even know that she's falling back in class because of the prom. All you ever cared to know is what print she has on her underwear."

The familiar itch to hit someone came over me and I had to remind myself a hundred times over that Yuu was drunk. Still, his accusations struck a nerve. Surprisingly, a hammered Ruka came to my defense, "He knows what time she gets to school in the morning."

"Me too!" Mochu chimed in, "I help out everyday."

"He knows if Mikan skips a meal," Koko added with a lopsided grin. He wasn't really looking at us, as though he was just remembering out loud, "He brings her something if she does."

"So you've been watching her," Yuu said unimpressed, "A lot of good that does. If you don't move it Natsume, you'll lose her. In fact, if I didn't have someone maybe I'd ask her myself."

I racked my head, trying to remember just who Yuu had at the moment but came up empty. I glowered at him, "I liked you better when you were meek."

"Didn't you all," Yuu said drunkenly laying his head on the table. He was out. That was two down. I turned to the three valiant soldiers remaining.

At this point, Mochu was gesturing to Koko, "You know Koko, if I had your Alice, I'd be reading Sumire's mind all the time. She's a freaking puzzle!"

"I thought you said she made you happy."

"Yeah, like a puzzle!"

"Well, if I had your Alice, I'd levitate…"

"What?"

"Everything… I'd levitate everything. I'd levitate you, and Ruka, and Natsume… and I'd levitate that bottle of vodka…"

While Koko and Mochu rambled on about absolutely nothing, I thought about what Yuu had just let slip out. I wondered what part of that was true and what part was alcohol driven. Ruka and I have always known that he'd become very protective of Mikan and Hotaru. Still, he's never really tried to warn us off so I thought we were okay. Anyway, Yuu was wrong. I did know Mikan, apparently just not the way he thinks I should.

I said out loud, "How many ways can you like your tea?"

Mochu perked up. "Sumire likes her tea in three different ways," He said promptly, "If it's green tea, it's one sugar. If it's oolong tea, it's two sugars. If it's Earl Grey, she likes it with lemon or honey."

"Are you serious?"

He nodded at once, "Would you like to know how she takes her coffee?"

My eyebrow quirked. This was ridiculous. It seemed like I could ask these guys anything and they wouldn't remember in the morning. With some half-formed idea in my head, I gestured to the bar, "How about it boys, another round? On me."

Ruka was singing a broken ballad when I shoved him into his room last. He landed in a heap on the floor and for a while I considered leaving him that way. Eventually, he picked himself up and dragged himself to bed, muttering to me, "Good night Hotaru."

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered back before rushing downstairs to pay off the Central Town bus. I had hailed the whole bus to take home my inebriated friends. I had to pay the driver extra just so he'd wait for me until I got them all into their rooms. Earlier, he had complained about Mochu and Koko's chorus of "We are the Champions," a song Ruka picked up as I dragged Sakai out first. When I returned minutes later, Yuu was halfway across the courtyard, swaying on legs that would no longer support him. He'd have fallen into the fountain if I didn't drag him back by the collar. Then with inhuman strength, I hauled him up the stairs then violently thrust him into his quarters. I did that for all five drunks.

"Never again," I hissed as I pulled out a hundred rabbits from my wallet, handed it to the driver and thanked him for his trouble. Then he handed me a box of Fluff Puffs and as I took it from him I wondered why I bought it in the first place. When the bus drove off, I turned towards the dorm, suddenly feeling incredibly tired. I scoffed, "The perfect plan."

Those idiots! They didn't even think it through. If they had been successful, I'd be drunk at night. Mikan would be asleep. How will I ask her then? Involuntarily, I glanced at her window and found the lights still on. Maybe she wasn't asleep after all. I stared at the box I was holding then before I could change my mind, I headed for the large oak tree that grew just outside her window and nimbly leapt onto the lowest branch. I climbed higher until I was level with her window then peered inside to find her studying. I knocked.

Mikan turned in surprise then she rushed to her feet and cheerfully pulled up the window, "Hi Natsume!"

"Hey," I said, the alcohol mellowing my senses, allowing me to grin back. Then I thrust the box in her hands.

She looked perplexed, "Fluff Puffs?"

"I know you like them," I said nonchalantly.

"I do but how come you have them? Isn't the store closed by now? Were you at Central Town?" She looked skeptical.

"Does it matter how I did it?" I yawned then positioned myself more comfortably on the branch, "But yeah, I was at Central Town."

"This late on a school night?" Mikan said disapprovingly, "That's really irresponsible." She sat down on the window sill, seeming not to mind my intrusion at all.

"It wasn't my idea," I said then defensively added, "It was Mochu and his friend Sakai who invited us all there."

"I know Sakai," she said brightly then frowned, "He has a Drinking Alice."

"Yeah, and low tolerance," I snickered before I could stop myself. I halted when I realized she didn't look too pleased.

"You guys were out drinking," Mikan concluded, "Wait until Yuu hears about this."

I laughed, "He already knows."

"What? Yuu was there too?" Mikan said opening the box. Her mouth formed a little o in delight as she picked one up before offering.

"Smashed like the rest of them."

"How come you're all right?"

"I don't know," I shrugged biting into the sweet treat, "It amazes me too, still standing after fifteen."

"Fifteen what?"

"Never mind," I said at once. Then I nodded behind her, "How come you're up?"

"I was studying conic sections," she said glumly, "Specifically, I was trying to graph a hyperbola but I couldn't simplify the equation."

"Hyperbolas are easy," I told her, "Get pen and paper, I'll show you."

She started to turn back to her desk then thought better of it, "Natsume, are you sure? You look really tired and weren't you just drinking?"

I stopped, the absurdity of the situation suddenly hitting me. I was just drinking. In fact, that pretty much explained why I had climbed up this oak tree and knocked on her window to gallantly offer to teach her basic calculus after bringing her a box of Fluff Puffs. I raked a hand through my hair irritably, "Tell you what, if there's anything you don't understand, you can come to me tomorrow."

She grinned, "You really are drunk."

"Oh shut up. Let's just both get some sleep," I said then started climbing in through her window. Mikan backed up in alarm.

"What are you doing? You can't sleep in here!"

"Idiot. I'm just coming in through your bedroom," I said pointedly, "It's faster than going down and using the front door."

"Um, okay I guess," she said stepping back, "But you're going straight to your room."

"Fine," I climbed in then hastily walked to her door, "I'll see you tomorrow. Good night."

"Good night," Mikan said with a laugh. She sat down on her bed and nibbled on another Puff. "Hey Natsume…"

"What?" I snapped, my hand on the door.

"You're a sweet drunk."

The following morning, none of the boys were at their usual posts. They were all in their seats, their heads on their tables. Hangovers, I thought evilly as I glanced at Mochu who was being severely reprimanded by Sumire. Then I watched one of our classmates walk over to Koko.

"Hey Koko…"

"No need to shout!" Koko snapped and the guy backed off. Snickering, I sat down next to Ruka who pitifully glanced up at me.

"Morning," he mumbled, looking sick.

"Good morning," I said cynically, "Have a good sleep?"

"You are the devil," Ruka responded shaking his head then wincing as pain shot through his skull, "We are never doing that again."

"Oh I don't know, I had fun," I replied with a wicked grin.

"You would, if you were some abnormal freak who was immune to alcohol," Ruka said bitterly.

"It was your idea Ruka."

"Why can't you just ask her Natsume?" He burst out then suddenly cradled his head, "Ow!" I snickered again as the teacher marched in.

"Hi everyone," He said merrily. "I hope you've all been studying because we've got a pop quiz!" There were groans around the room and Mochu knocked his forehead against his desk in defeat.

I pulled out a sheet of paper, not at all bothered by the exam. Revenge is sweet. And acing this test was just icing on the cake.