Half Musings of a Half-Breed
Summary: Writing. Who would've thought Inuyasha had it in him? AU
Disclaimer: The characters of Inuyasha rightfully belong to Rumiko Takahashi, so suing me would be an awfully big waste of time.
AN: I know this type of scenario had been done a gazillion times before, and only few writers could pull it off, but still…I had to try. Damn stubbornness.
PROLOGUE……………………………………
12th of May 2006
People used to say that I would live a considerably long life. In return, I'd give them the finger or reply with a barely controlled yell with something along the lines of, "Hell, no!" or maybe even, "You're being possessed by Miroku!" It all depends on my mood. And that's saying something, since I've always been labeled into three categories. One: Dangerous Madman. Two: Dangerous Madman That Can Be Easily Provoked. And three: Dangerous Madman That Bites When Easily Provoked.
But back to the matter at hand. No, I don't believe myself to reach past my 70s and 80s, and maybe even live to see my half-brother Sesshoumaru have a family of his own. (Ew. Bad mental image.) Because, for goodness' sake, I smoke. And I've gotten into so many accidents, it would even be funny to call me human. I tell them all these reasons, and still, they believe me to be near immortal. Somehow, in the course of convincing them otherwise, I ended up believing those lies too. But don't worry, that didn't last long. Because today, I met her.
Let it be said that on this day, the 12th of May, approximately 15 hours, 23 minutes and 40 seconds, I met the most foul, annoying, infuriating, insufferable, self-absorbed psycho slash brat slash woman (no, I must not think of her as a woman, because surely, no woman acts like that! I shall then classify her as "it") on this entire wasted planet – Kagome Higurashi. (On second thought, I'll just address her as "You-Know-Who". Much more dramatic and all that).
And let it also be said that on this day, I, Inuyasha Miyazawa, self-proclaimed King of the Universe, 100 percent bastard, writer extraordinaire, founder of the "I Hate Sesshoumaru" club, winner of the "Mr. Grouchy" award, and number one recipient of Marlboro cigarettes, shall die.
Signed,
A Half-breed named Inuyasha
……………………………………
I looked at my finished entry for the day and smirked. If people could see just what I've been doing during my spare time, they'd wet themselves silly. After all, it's not often that someone like me would pursue the art of writing, seeing as I am easily known as a…What was that that Miroku's haughty, boring, classy, and rich-as-hell parents often referred to me? Ah, yes, of course…A "poor, uncouth youth who is wrongly misled and influenced by society". Nice to know I'm so loved. Feh. Like hell.
I yawned and stretched my legs comfortably on the couch. Writing always drains the energy out of me, and don't you dare suggest I'm exaggerating because really, it's not just all flowers and daisies, even if all that is required is to sit in a chair, grab a pen and paper, and just write, write, write away. After all, there's still writer's block, and even geniuses like me experience it, even if, cough, all I'm writing about is myself. But seriously, it's giving me a headache, and I could imagine hearing the loud ringing in my ears.
But, wait just a second…That just couldn't be my imagination…Oh, damn. It's actually the phone. I glanced blearily at the offending noise attached to the wall in the living room, near the sickening painting of a child picking flowers on a field. I just stared at it, as if hoping it would stop ringing, and realized a split second later that someone, i.e. Sesshoumaru, had turned the phone's volume to the loudest in the hopes of annoying me. Damn right it worked.
As fast as my awfully slow body could take, I hopped out of the couch (against my will, of course) and picked up the phone. Growling and hoping against hope that the person on the other end of the line dies a slow, painful death, I spat, "Who the fuck is this?"
"The same person who's been trying to call you for over an hour," a certain someone whose voice had been the ultimate source for my rants said rather irritably.
"I was busy, so bugger off," I remarked oh-so-casually. At the same time, my hand was reaching for my writing tools and safely hiding them under the drawer, while the other one was busy pressing the phone on my ear. Even Miroku, my long time acquaintance, or well, more or less my best friend, was oblivious to my ambition to become the greatest writer of the century. I chose not to tell him for the same reasons stated earlier. That, and the fact that he'd probably go celibate from laughing at me.
"Ah, it's so good to know that you finally took my advice and started embarking on a spiritual and pleasurable journey towards the learning of the female species." Did I mention that he is a certified pervert?
"Miroku! Do you have a death wish?"
Honestly, the idiot even had the audacity to laugh at me! Have he forgotten how many times I easily beat him in karate? At video games? At swimming? Even at chess? I sighed in irritation. "If you called and disturbed me just for nothing, I swear I'd kill you!" I told him.
Miroku's chuckles subsided. "Oh, you're such a loser, Inuyasha. You really need to loosen up." Perhaps he had sensed my faint annoyance (I could never tell with Miroku, because sometimes it just seems as though that man was born to predict my moods), for he went straight to the point. "Anyway, I'm coming over there in a minute. You wouldn't mind me bringing a few people, right?"
I gritted my teeth. "Actually, I do mind."
"Well, then, in that case, let's just forget I asked you, shall we?"
With that, he hung up. Somebody kill that man.
……………………………………
I hate visitors with a passion. (Who says I can't? Even writers are entitled to be anti-social and unwelcoming). But more than that, I hate visitors that are somehow connected to Miroku, because that would mean that they like Miroku, and if they do, there's a 89.9 percent chance that they are crazy like Miroku. Makes sense? Doesn't actually matter if it doesn't, because again, even writers can be vague and mysterious if they like.
I glared at no one in particular, sulking (not like a child, mind you, but, well, like a troubled adult. A very wronged adult who have friends as nice as bullies) on the corner of my beloved couch. There are reasons for this sulking, actually. First of all, and it is perhaps my most pressing problem, I'm out of cigarettes. Damn. And I'll tell you right now. I am an absolute beast without cigarettes. Of course, another matter to contemplate is the fact that Miroku is coming (That is never good news) with friends or whatever he liked to call them, which is even worse. So somebody please tell me how this is going to work out.
But before I could even have at least a few more minutes of alone time, which mainly consists of ranting about the horrors of the world, the doorbell rang. I fluently cursed again. Trust Miroku to say "I'm coming over there in a minute" and really mean it.
Protocol says that if a friend is coming over at another friend's house, said friend would open the door for him or her and cheerfully greet and invite him or her inside the house. But seeing as Miroku and I don't share the normal relationship friends usually have (ours is more of the abuse-threaten-kill-then-talk kind of relationship), I don't see the need to obey protocol or any other kind of bullshit. This, if I were to translate in other words, meant that I continued to scowl and did not, in any way, try to move or open the door.
"Inuyasha, this is the 1248th time that you did not open your door for me. Just what kind of friend are you?" Miroku's cultured, yet still irritating, tone filled the air.
I smirked at him. I took in his messy black hair tied in a ponytail, no doubt a method he used to try to attract attention from the ladies, his unblinking blue-violet eyes, his tall, lean frame, the boyish, slightly cheerful smile pasted on his face, and I wondered how some girls, even the ones stupider than him, have managed not to sense his perverse countenance and fall prey to his charms. Snort. Yep, he was still the same old best friend Miroku that I had known for more than six years.
I rolled my eyes at him, all the while managing to maintain the dark aura around me, just to keep Miroku off. "Stop the fucking drama, Miroku, and just tell me what the fuck you need from me so you can get out of my house as fast as possible," I snarled.
Miroku barely even batted an eyelash, which goes to say how much he had gotten used to my antics. Of course, seeing as I am perfect and above such petty creatures like him, it's not really surprising for someone to not get used to me. Anyway, Miroku raised one fine eyebrow and said to someone in particular, "See what I mean? I told you he could get very rough when provoked. But not to worry, I will personally make sure that he wouldn't touch you."
And that's when I took notice that there are other people, aside from Miroku, in the room with me. They were both female, and though my mind was completely frozen with shock and dread at the knowledge of this (I hate women! I hate them much more than visitors, or Miroku, or Sesshoumaru, or…well, maybe not so much more than him, but well, you get my point), I couldn't help but notice the first one. She was the one whom Miroku had been talking, or should I say, flirting with. She had brown eyes, fair skin, was sporting a high ponytail, and her whole appearance practically screamed mediocre.
The other girl, on the other hand, had long dark hair the exact shade of Miroku's, with eyes a heavy shade of blue or silver or perhaps a mixture of both, I couldn't really care less. But one thing I do know is that she looked awfully familiar to me. Of course, the possibility that she might be a member of my fan club also occurred to me.
Miroku must have noticed me staring (Damn him for being so observant!) so he quickly made introductions. "Inuyasha, this is Sango Yamazaki and Kagome," he gestured towards the one with the ponytail, and then to the other who had those freakishly wide blue eyes. "Ladies, meet Inuyasha Miyazawa, a demon straight from the bowels of the Underworld."
My eyes narrowed at the man before me. If he thought for one moment that I could forget the way he deliberately failed to tell me the surname of that Kagami or whatever that wench's name is, then he has another thing coming. But before I could reprimand him for it, the blue-eyed monstrosity spoke to me.
"Inuyasha, huh? It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much things about you from my brother."
"Your brother? And who the hell is your brother?" I raised one eyebrow and stared at her. There was something distinctly… off about her accent. For a second I thought she was a foreigner, and even though she had blue eyes, which are pretty unusual for a Japanese, I know for a fact that she is one of us.
Kagami or whatever the hell her name was gaped at me, her expression disbelieving. "You mean you don't know?" she exclaimed.
I glared at her. If there is one thing that I dislike, it's to not know something. "Don't know what?" I snapped. Beside her, I could hear Miroku coughing, trying in vain to conceal his laughter.
Thankfully, the girl's shock waned off, yet her face still showed that she was confused. "Hasn't… hasn't he told you?" she asked slowly.
By "he", I'm assuming it's Miroku. But of course, that did not help my temper in the slightest. "Just what in the seven pits of hell am I supposed to know?"
The girl gave Miroku a hard glare. She sighed. "I can't believe you haven't told him before going here! You are such a prick," she said angrily, then turned to me. "You see, my name is Kagome Higurashi."
My eyes widened for a fraction of a second. Her last name is Higurashi. Miroku's last name is Higurashi. Could she possibly be…? "You're his fucking sister!" I bellowed.
Kagami, or was it Kagome, blinked. "Yes," she replied.
That was enough permission for me to go slice off Miroku's head. "You bastard!" I bellowed as cuffed him on the head. He gave a loud exclamation of pain, and I noticed, with some barely concealed amusement, that the two wenches looked as if they had no plans to reprimand me or rescue Miroku. Maybe there's a chance of me liking them after all…
"Dearest sister! How kind hearted you are to not save me from this hideous monster!" Miroku bellowed as he writhed on the floor in pretend agony.
Miss Blue Eyes only blinked. "Why? Am I wrong to think that you deserved that, oh dearest brother?" she said with a frighteningly amount of sugary sweetness in her voice.
Miroku continued on groaning until someone, the brown-haired girl, actually took pity on him and helped him up. He repaid her by trying to feel her up the moment her back was turned. That promptly brought him back to the floor in no time.
"Pervert," Pony Tail girl hissed under her breath as she glared daggers at Miroku. I inwardly cheered her on.
"Why, my dearest Sango…" Miroku said in an overly sweet tone, the same one Miss Blue Eyes had used, as he reached out for her assets once again.
Miss Blue Eyes rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation at her brother's antics. "Just tell him what you have to say, Miroku, and let's just hope that your best friend here," she pinned me with her blue gaze, and I felt the hairs on my back stand, "doesn't try to kill you again."
Uh-oh. I do not like the sound of this. Was something phenomenal and earth shattering about to happen? Because if there is such a case, then I must be sorely missing it. Anyway, I stared at Miroku, as if telling him that he better obey his younger sister or I will personally see to it that he does. And, well, scared guy that he is, he did obey. Hah! The powers of a warlord like me…
Miroku cleared his throat and expertly avoided my eyes. "Well, it's like this, Inuyasha," he said, trying hard to inject a sense of casualness in his voice, so that his anxiousness would not show. "Remember when I rescued you from Yura's clutches and you told me that you would do 'absolutely anything for me because I'm your only savior'?"
I knew it. I shouldn't have said such a thing to him, especially when I was drunk and half-delirious, since he'd probably throw it on my face when the time comes. Like now. "No, I do not remember such a thing," I lied convincingly.
Miroku gulped. "No, I don't think you really would," he told him. "But the point is, you did say something like that. Oh, yes, you did," he added once he heard my growl, "and now the opportunity had arisen and I really, really, really need your help."
By this time, I was looking at Miroku's sweaty, desperate face, wishing not for the first time, that I shouldn't have met him. "And what help is that?" I asked reluctantly, knowing for sure that nothing good would come out of this.
"CanKagomeandSangostaywithyouforaweek?" Miroku mumbled.
My brows furrowed. "What? Speak English, man," I told him, irritated above everything else.
Miroku took a deep breath and repeated what he just said. "Can Kagome and Sango stay with you for a week?"
"WHAT? Hell NO!"
Okay, that was fast.
"Just hear me out, Inuyasha," Miroku pleaded. "Come on! You've gotta hear me out."
"No."
"Inuyasha, are you willing to live with the knowledge that you've let three people down just because of your selfishness and grouchiness?"
"Here's a tip for you, Miroku," I snapped as I tried to massage my temples. "If you want to convince someone to do a favor for you, do not, by any means, insult them. It's never gonna work."
Miroku blinked. I'm sure as hell he wasn't expecting that. "Oh." A pause. "Well, then, does it satisfy you if I call you the greatest man in the whole universe?"
I'd prefer it if you call me "greatest writer in the whole universe", you know, but that would do. For now. (Hah. As if I'd actually tell it to his face). "No," I said firmly.
"Inuyasha…"
I sighed. "Look," I started. "Why are you asking me to play nanny for them in the first place? Why can't they stay with you? I mean, the other one's your sister, for Pete's sake! And you're the one who's drowning in heaps of money, not me!"
"Yeah, but the problem is, Kagome here," Miroku glared at his sister as though the whole thing was her fault (which was probably as close to the truth as I could see), "isn't supposed to be back from the university in London until next week, for reasons which are very foolish, I might add, and so she can hardly be seen by our parents, right? Same goes for Sango."
"Well, why don't you make them stay at some hotel or friend's house or something?"
"First of all, Inuyasha, I think you're forgetting that I'm grounded until next month. Therefore, I don't have any money, and neither do they. Second, I don't have friends, aside from you, whose parents are not close friends of my parents, thus, if I make them stay there, there's a large possibility that my folks would come over there and see them. And lastly, I trust you with all my heart, Inuyasha."
I scoffed at his last statement. Once a drama king, always a drama king.
"So, what do you think?"
"No."
"No?"
"No," I repeated.
"Why ever not?" And did I tell you that Miroku whines like a puppy whenever someone says something he doesn't like? It must be a part of the "I'm-born-rich" personality of his, which doesn't make it less annoying than it really is.
"Because I don't want to be disturbed, especially in the middle of summer where all I want to do is to bum around," I told him, hoping he would get the hint. But actually, the real reason, as you might have guessed, is because I want to practice my writing skills and I can't do that if there's company, or more specifically, girl company.
"You don't have to do anything if you agree to what I say," Miroku assured me, not giving up hope. "You don't even have to talk to them if that's what you want."
"If you think I'm considering this in the slightest, then you're sadly mistaken," I retorted, nose high in the air and arms crossed. "Just proves how much you really know about me."
But then, if I'm evil, then the worst I could say for Miroku is that he's persistent. And when he's persistent, he drives people crazy. And in particular, if he drives me crazy, I get all disoriented and fuzzy brained. Meaning, I do and say stupid, silly things that might later cost me a lot. So to cut this whole explanation short, after several "Please Inuyasha" and "I know you can't stand me begging like this" from Miroku (which were very skillfully done, I'll tell you), I was finally coerced to say "Fuck! FINE!" The grin he gave me after hearing that was enough to send the remaining part of my sanity to hell.
"Thanks a lot, Inuyasha," Pony Tail Girl told me gratefully.
I blinked. I had almost forgotten that they were there, what with the argument with Miroku and everything.
"Yeah, we really owe you. Don't worry, we'll make it up to you somehow," Miss Blue Eyes added, smiling brightly at me.
I flushed. No girl had ever smiled like that at me. Freaky. I didn't think she noticed my reaction though.
"Well, if that's all then," Miroku said quite cheerfully (the prat!), finally having achieved what he wanted. He walked towards the front door, but then, remembering something, paused and looked at me. "Unless, of course, Inuyasha, do you have any other questions that you feel you might need to know?"
I gave him my iciest glare. "When can I kill you?" I said through gritted teeth.
Miroku laughed. "Not gonna happen," he replied confidently. (Well, we'll see about that.) He walked outside and came back after a split second with three traveling suitcases and a carry-on bag. Dumping them on my living room floor, he smiled at me again –that same infuriating smile – and waved cheerfully. "Now, I must be on my way. Be good, ladies! You too, Inuyasha!"
I managed to stop him just as his hand closed on the door knob. "And where do you think you're going?" I wanted to know.
He blinked at me. "Why, didn't I tell you? I'd be leaving for a week too," he said sweetly.
"What? Where?"
"Oh, you know. Caribbean. Cruising. That kind of stuff." Only Miroku could say such a thing as casually as he could while in actuality doing it on purpose. With one last quick wave, he walked out, slamming the door behind him, thus, leaving me alone for the first time with his creepy looking sister and friend. For a while, we just stared at each other, not saying a word.
"Well…" Miss Blue Eyes finally said, looking at me. Oh, I hope she feels as awkward as I do. "Where can we put our stuff away?" She gestured towards the luggage that Miroku had left beside her.
I surreptitiously tried to avoid wrinkling my nose. Women. Why do they always have the need to bring more things than necessary? Then, I noticed they were staring at me rather oddly. Oh, right. I forgot to answer their question.
"Just leave them somewhere I can't see them," I told them off-handedly.
What is up with them? Was it something I said? They were still staring at me!
"So…" Miss Blue eyes spoke again, trying not to hide her initial shock at whatever it is that made them look at me oddly. "Where are we supposed to sleep, Inuyasha?"
I pointed at the couch. "There."
Both women laughed at this. What was so damned funny? "You're a funny guy, you know that?" Pony Tail Girl told me.
"Yeah. That was a nice joke," Miss Blue Eyes remarked, smiling again in that creepy, odd sort of way.
I raised an eyebrow at them. "I wasn't joking."
Silence greeted me and for a while, I was the only witness to their stunned, gaping expressions. But then one of them said, "What are you talking about? You expect the two of us to share and sleep on a couch?"
I winced. I had forgotten how excessively loud a woman's voice can get. "I told you I'm in no condition to accommodate the two of you here," was what I said instead. "Besides, I only have bed and that's for me."
They glared at me with such intensity that I could not help but glare back.
"You're impossible!" Miss Blue Eyes, whose eyes, by the way, are starting to look more like the color of an approaching storm, exclaimed. "Doesn't the word 'guest' mean anything at all to you?"
"Well, of course. I can clearly see that you're guests that are really starting to push your luck," I growled.
Pony Tail Girl stared at me warily. Good. That means that at least one of them is sane. "Kagome," she warned her companion. "I think we should just try to call Miroku."
Miss Blue Eyes ignored her friend. "I don't think so," she disagreed, still glaring at me. "I won't stand being treated this way. We'll sleep on his bedroom."
I imagined feeding this girl to the crocodiles and looked at her in such a way that she would be easily able to read my thoughts. And I wondered how two people, namely me and her, could change from being mere awkward acquaintances to being deadly enemies in a span of a minute.
"Try it and you die," I threatened her, eyes sparkling maliciously with the promise of a challenge.
"The pleasure is all mine," Miss Blue Eyes, who is proving to be no more than a 'miss' than Miroku is a 'gentleman', hissed. I noticed that her eyes, too, were on fire.
One more stare was all it took and we were both dashing madly towards my bedroom.
And that, folks, is why you should ready your cannons and battle shields because this concludes the start of the First World War between notorious me and formidable Kagome Higurashi. May the best devil win.
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AN: So...reactions, everyone? Should I continue with this insanely random fic or not?