Chapter 8: Trails

I looked out the car window and went over in my mind the events that took place in Ms. Annabelle's cottage. I had finally stopped crying and begged her not to sponsor me because of pity. She insisted that if she will sponsor me, it will be because she feels I am a capable individual who deserves a chance at life in the magical world. She was going to sponsor me, so I figure it was because of the reason she stated. I have immense pride and it doesn't help things all the time, but it also insures that I won't sell myself short and lose my dignity in the process. Ms. Annabelle must've been aware of this and I am thankful that she chose not to treat my like the indigent that I was. Maybe she valued pride as well. And it wouldn't have been hard to take pity of me. I had nothing except the clothes on my back, and the ones I was wearing were given to me by Dumbledore. I don't want pity. I never wanted it. I wanted the security my old life had.

I touched my folded shirt and remembered that we bought it at the Branded stall at Ayala Town Center. Ysa had paid for it because it was my birthday. The graphic print was already starting to fade because I wore the shirt often. I remember feeling like a poser because it was a shirt with the Drip's logo on it. I didn't even listen to Drip. Ysa said it was okay because she listens to Drip. My bestfriend listens to Drip and she gave me the shirt. So it was okay. Evrything was okay back then. The day we got the shirt, we ate at CPK and I had paid my part of the bill. But things changed.

Now I have nothing.

I always had something. My parents worked hard and they make a good living. I went to private Montessori schools; we had cable, a computer, internet, air conditioning. And now I find myself with no family, no friends and no money. I was tempted to compare myself with Harry but he had a history in this world, a vault in Gringgotts, and I'd even give anything for a family like the Dursleys. Harry still had a family, in a way. More importantly, he had a purpose: to save the world.

What was I supposed to do?

"We're back," Professor Dumbledore told me. He had not spoken during the whole car ride. The driver got out and opened the door for us. Dumbledore got out and thanked him. I took my folded clothes and got out of the car. I saw Dumbledore pay the driver (I cringed) our fares. The driver thanked us, tipped his hat and drove off. I watched the dust trail behind him. The blue smoke mingled with the dust for a moment, then got swept up into the Earth's atmosphere. Soon, the blue smoke faded into the deep orange of the sunset sky.

Dumbledore and I walked to the castle quietly. I watched my feet tread the dirt path and saw dust settle on 'my' Mary Janes. The grass didn't seem so green anymore. The blowing wind gave me chills so I put my hands in 'my' pockets. Can we ever really own anything? You can say, I own this shirt, but your friend bought it for you. And it's not hers either. The shirt was made of cotton, does anyone really own the cotton? They didn't create the cotton, they just grew it out of seeds. We don't really own anything. We were given those things. Even if you deserve it or you worked hard for it, it's not really yours. You could lose everything in an instant and soon you'll find yourself all alone. We have nothing, and whatever we covet will be lost.

I can't help it. I had a feeling.

We reached the castle and went inside.

"Here. These are directions to a room you can sleep in. It's not permanent, but things are being arranged. Don't worry. We'll try. Good night, little miss," Professor Dumbledore smiled as he handed me a piece of parchment. He gave me a light pat on the shoulder. He turned and walked away.

I followed the directions and arrived at a wooden door. I went in and saw a four poster bed, end tables, an armoire and a chest. On the bed was a folded towel, folded pajamas and four pairs of clean underwear. I examined them and they looked new. Thank God. I was depressed enough and I didn't need the burden of wearing someone else's delicates. There was a small bathroom as well. I took a shower and got dressed in the night things. I put my t-shirt, shorts, and preppy clothes in the hamper. Soon I found my flip flops at the foot of the bed. I taken them off in the bathroom stall that afternoon and forgot all about them. Likewise, I had easily forgotten my own world when I arrived at this magical, wonderful place. But after a brief moment, I remembered all that I will miss. I lay on the bed and looked above me. Etched on the left post attached to the head board was, "H.W. + A. G."

I slept deeply that night and dreamed of t-shirts, chocolate liqueur cake and cars that drove away, leaving trails of dust that will settle once more under the sunset sky.