"You know, Stabler seems to be doing all right."
"Yeah."
"What about you? Holding out for the right man again?"
"Nah."
He was taken aback. "Really? Given up, have you?"
"Nah."
Furrowing his brow, he looked at her, confused. "Well, already got another man then?"
"Sort of."
"Spit it out, will you? Jeez, Liv. I can't sit here, well, stand, and not know. C'mon, girl to girl."
She laughed and shook her head. "If you're a girl, that presents a problem for me."
"How's that? Thought you liked that I was your girlfriend."
"Oh, I do, it's just if you're my girlfriend, then who's gonna kiss me back when I do this?" Before he could say anything, she pressed herself against him, and kissed him full on the lips. Startled, he stood there a moment, a million reasons for exactly why she was kissing him flashing through his mind in only a couple seconds time, the foremost of which being something along the lines of 'she's drunk'. However, when she pulled back, her face still millimeters away from his own, he leaned forward and effectively closed the gap as he kissed her. His hand found it's way to the small of her back, there almost to hold her closer to him, though she was already as close as she could get, her whole body pressed up against his.
She broke it off again and looked at his eyes, trying to see through his glasses, but finding that quite impossible. "Is that so, huh?" she said quietly.
"If I may ask a question..."
"What if I say no?" she joked.
"When exactly did..." he struggled for the right word, and came up only with, "this... happen?"
"Do you even remember what you said all those times we talked? Hmm? Do you remember the way you sounded? The way you threw yourself into those explanations with such... conviction and... love? Do you? Because, gosh, I do and, John... this sounds so stupid... I fell in love with you."
He pulled away from her, putting space between her body and his, his hand slipping from her back and catching her hand. "I'm old, Olivia. I've got problems kneeling or bending down anywhere. I don't run, I sorta jog while Fin sprints to catch whoever where chasing, or better yet, I hop in the car. I'm old. You can't... you can't..." he couldn't seem to get the word past his lips.
"Love you? Why not?"
"There's a reason I went through four wives. I'm a miserable man to live with."
"Or maybe you never met the right woman."
"I can't." Her hand slipped from his and he walked over to the side of the roof and leaned heavily on the stone side. When she had gotten together with Stabler, his heart had broke, but now that he was actually faced with the idea that she really did love him, and not just as a friend... he didn't know what to do. This was what happened in dreams, him getting the girl and living happily ever after. But this was real life, dear God, it was real. He could still feel the press of her body against his, her lips on his. Subconsciously, he touched his lips with his fingertips, thinking.
"John," her soft voice was behind him, to his left. "John, do you believe in destiny and fate?"
If there's a God, yes. "What does this have to do with anything?"
"Just answer the question. Please."
If there's a God, yes. He sighed. Did he believe in destiny? In fate? He had told her no, in a way. "I still don't understand..."
"You're not supposed to understand why I'm asking, or what it has to do with the situation. Just give me an answer. And not any old answer. A real answer."
"If there's a Go-"
She cut him off. "And not the one you gave me last time."
What was he supposed to say? A real answer. The truth, huh? Well, then... "Yeah." His voice was so soft, he hardly heard it, but apparently she had.
"Then can you believe this is destiny? That this is fate?"
"Olivia, you don't understand."
"What don't I understand?"
"That I'm not supposed to get the girl. I'm the geeky kid in the front row of class, always answering the teacher's questions correctly. I'm the guy that's been married four times. Four! Does that number mean anything to you?"
"Yes. It means that you never found the woman. The one."
"And what makes you think that you're 'the one'?"
"I don't know. Maybe the fact that you always seem to know me inside and out, no matter the situation. That you put voice to things I can't explain. Maybe because I can never find the words to describe you because truth be told, there are no words to describe you. Maybe because I love you. Maybe that's it."
"Liv, I... I can't," he whispered.
"And who's stopping you?" she whispered back, stepping closer to him.
"Ev... everyone."
She shook her head. "If everyone is only you, then yes, everyone." When she looked at him, the hopelessness written so clearly on his face, she took his hand and placed it on her chest, above her heart. "What do you feel?"
"Your heart." God, he was like a little kid now.
She moved his hand and placed it on his own chest, over his heart. "What do you feel?"
"My heart."
"What's so different about them?" she whispered.
"Mine's... mine's old."
"No it's not." A small smile found it's way to her lips. "Hearts can't be contained by the bonds of time. Tell me, if you think they can, tell me how it's possible for a teenager to receive an adult's heart? Certainly the heart must be too old. Only another child's heart could save him. Right?" He was quiet, not knowing how to answer her. "John. I love you. Take that and love me back."
"I... I..."
"Dont' you dare say you can't." Pausing, she looked out to the city, then back to him. "Do you remember that night when we were the only two left here? And I said something to upset you, and you went up to the roof? I followed you, and God, you were upset. I felt so bad. You insisted you were fine, but I'd never seen you like that before. It was anger towards what I had said, and it was something else. I broke your heart. And I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. But I'm trying to make it up to you now. Let me. Please."
"How do you know you... that you... broke my heart?"
"I've been a detective for quite a few years now. I've watched enough soap operas, enough prime time dramas to know what I did to you. That and your body language... you might as well've had a sign on your forehead, a billboard out on the highway." She smiled a bit again. "Sound familiar?"
He closed his eyes. "Can we really make this work?" he allowed himself to ask.
"The way you kiss... hell yeah."
"Liv."
"Yes, we can. And I intend to make it work."
"Then perhaps... perhaps I can, too."
"I was hoping you'd say that."
Closing the gap between them yet again, John held her close, both arms wrapped around her. "And perhaps I can get over the age thing. In time, but perhaps."
She closed her eyes, listening to his heart, her hair tickling his chin and neck. "Thank God."
He left a small kiss on her forehead. "Yeah, thank God."