"Excuse me? What the fu--ExCUSE me, you little faggot..?"
The clatter of a beer bottle was heard throughout the Krueger household. It seems his Snarkiness was having some...questionable company over. Hey, when you're as dead as he is, it's tough finding a suitable drinking buddy.
In the livingroom on the roach-infested tattered rag he called a couch sat the aformentioned demon Freddy Krueger, and beside him was a tan, thin, wild-looking young man, a flask in his gloved hand. Idly licking one of the piercings on his lip, he poured the thick red substance from the flask into a half-full beer bottle. A gruesome version of 'watering down' his alchohol. Jan shook his blood-filled beer a second, then took a drink.
"You heard me. The whole fucking thing was a done deal, you were fucked like a farmer's sheep, and Jason was the farmer."
"Now wait just one goddamn second, that hocky-puck mama's shit ain't won NOTHIN'."
"So I guess the whole him stabbing y'through the chest don't count. Bullshit, you got fucking wasted."
"He got LUCKY. And he DIDN'T fuckin' win, get me shitface?" Freddy flicked one of his claws in Jan's direction, DARING him to disagree again.
Jan snorted and took another drink.
"S'not what I fucking heard, man. And I gotta tell ya, I'm not surprised."
"Is that so, y'little orange jackass."
"Look." Jan shifted so he was facing the demon. "I've been hanging out with that girl who's sweet on you, God fuckin' knows why she is--"
"Why the FUCK you been 'round HER...?"
"...don't you have EYES, asswipe? Or are you fuckin' blind AND a loser? I mean, SHIT, that ass--damn I'd like ta--and that mouth, ooh--"
"Awright, y'gonna shoot in yer pants if ya keep talkin', pencil dick."
"I mean FUCK, are you GAY?"
"Weren't you makin' a POINT, or do I have ta SLICE it outta you!" Freddy took a swipe at Jan, and he scooted back onto the arm of the chair, and kicked Freddy square in the head.
"SHIT--!"
Freddy tumbled forward, but because of the jolt of impact, Jan went flying backwards.
"SHITFUCK--!"
Once the dust had cleared, Freddy stood and climbed back on the couch, sneering over at the vampire doing the same thing.
"As I was SAYING, you fried bastard..."
"Shut the fuck up, dipshit."
" I've been talkin' to that girl, and SHE told me that if you're taken out of that...fuckin' dream thing, you're pretty much fucked six ways to Whales. No powers or anything." He snorted, trying to see how much beer he had left."Talk about pa-fucking-thetic..."
" You little cumslut fuckface--"
"So that delicious busty blondefuck yanked you out of your happy place and Jason got to take your head home as a trophy." Jan reached out to grab another beer bottle. Freddy shot out and snatched it up before he could.
"Now let me tell -you- somethin', party dick. I don't -lose-. These shits 'round Springwood've tried t'kill me 8 goddamn times. I'm still alive and kickin', get me? If THEY can't do it, what makes you think that zombie-shit-mama's-bitch can waste me? I don't lose no fights, and I DIDN'T lose that one." Using his index claw, Fred flicked the bottle cap off the beer with ease and drank.
Jan rolled his eyes.
"You're just pissed because you got fucked."
"I didn't lose. YER just pissed 'cuz you didn't get to pork sweetface slut Seras."
Jan's eye twitched.
" Or maybe yer pissed 'cuz the vampire wonder Aru..Alu..Yeah, Alucard, is way fuckin' cooler than you are. And weren't YOU burned to a crisp too, bitch?" Freddy drank and smirked at the vampire. " I been talkin' t'some pretty girls too, y'smartass prick."
Jan growled and grabbed another bottle of beer, pouring blood into it, distinctly calling the demon a 'cocker', and a whole other world of english/cockney insults.
A silence fell. Jan shifted and took a drink.
"...Same time next Friday?" Jan shrugged.
"...Sure, why the hell not."
"Fuckyeh. Cheers."