Note from Jerico Cacaw: This scene was originally posted by Wanderer at an alt.fan group on February 19 2005, saying that 'It just came to me'. You might notice some differences with the Loonatics we've seen on the show. As he explains: 'Yes, those are the original names and original powers, from first to last. After all, I was working from their pre-launch commercial'. No change has been made to this piece, and all reviews will be sent to the author. Let see if you can say who is who ).
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"SLOW DOWN!"
Slick turned his head, grinning wickedly at Duck, who huddled in the back seat. Well, maybe not 'huddled', considering his deathgrip on the upholstery.
"Problem?" In his peripheral vision, Slick could see two semis ahead. Approximate width of aperture0.5w, wwidth of vehicle, solution...
"LOOK OUT!", Duck screamed as the coyote calmly activated the left autojack extension. Balanced on two wheels, the streamlined automobile had inches to spare, sailing breezily through before settling back to all four tires.
"Look out for what?", Slick smirked.
"You maniac!", Duck shrieked, his voice developing that whiny screech that he liked to blame on his sonar powers. "Keep your eyes on the road! Not all of us can walk away from a car crash like you... oh, no."
"What?" Slick turned...
... and saw a wall of red taillights. "Great", he grumbled, and flicked a switch underneath the dashboard.
Duck paled almost visibly under his feathers as the stopped cars loomed closer... and closer...
"AHHHH!"
Suddenly, the autojacks beneath the chassis surged into life, propelling the car upward by twenty feet! Like the precision machines they were, two wings snapped into place from their original positions beneath the undercarriage.
"We're... not... dead?"
Slick's smirk grew mocking as he watched his feathered teammate's expression of shock and awe, turning back around in his seat. "Of course not. I'm the super genius of the road, remember? Hard to do that if you're dead."
Duck pressed his beak against the window, gaping at the stopped cars beneath them. "But... how..."
"You wouldn't understand", the canid grumped as he turned back around.
"Wh-... why didn't you do this in the first place?"
"Two reasons", the driver answered. "First, we didn't need to go airborne as long as there was a perfectly good road." His eyes roamed the traffic jam, searching... searching...
"Um... and second?"
Slick grunted, his eyes glaring out the windscreen. "This isn't a plane. If we don't find open road in the next few minutes, a lot of people are going to have compacted cars." His smirk made a brief appearance. "I'm just glad this worked."
Duck blinked. "You mean this thing hadn't been tested yet? Are you crazy?"
The smirk vanished. "No, and maybe. The theory was sound, but I couldn't get the neccessary data in the lab. That's why-- oh, here we go."
Making a one-point, bone-jarring impact, the car didn't so much land as start flying at a lower altitude, just beyond the construction bottleneck that had caused the backup. Reassured, Slick retracted the wings and turned back around. "Now, you had a problem?"
Duck's eyes grew wide again... but not in the same way. Slick turned.
"Hey, Slick", came Roadster's voice over the radio as he raced alongside. "Taking it easy today?"
"Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no..."
Slick grabbed the mic, his eyes never leaving the fast-footed fowl that was pacing his car... his baby. "Some of us carry passengers, 'buddy'. Unless you're offering to carry the extra cargo."
Roadster laughed, and started running backwards in front of the car. "Old lead-pants? No, thanks. His ego's too much to carry by itself."
"Hey!"
"Besides, it probably takes a tank like that just to haul his guns."
Slick's growl startled Duck into greater attentiveness as the two low-flying objects swerved through traffic. "WHAT... did you call her?"
"Hey, no offense..."
"Oh, please, oh, please..."
"... but that thing's carrying too much armor to reach top speed."
Briefly, Duck fantasized taking Roadster to the firing range.
As a target.
Slick snorted. "Looks like your lucky day, Duck."
"It... it does?"
"Yep." Slick pushed a single blue button on the dash. "See you at the scene."
Duck's eyes grew big one last time... and then he was gone, sailing through the air in his own seat-mounted ultralight.
"Now, you two-bit road jockey", Slick grinned as he turned on the nitro. "Let's see what you've got."
Roadster just stuck out his tongue, then turned to face the road.
The race was on.