--

Disclaimer: (I thought I should start doing these so I don't get sued or anything...unlikely...but just in case) I own everyone in this chapter except Jolene aka Leggy...she is a real person – Blondie 03 – check out her story 'Anywhere But Here' – I'm in it :) Weeeeeeee!

--

Author's Note(s): Shiza Minnelli!! I really need to update more often...but at least I haven't left it for as long as I did last time. I've been thinking about 'Ace of Hearts'...I will try and think of something to do with it but I have an idea for another story and I've had it for ages and I really want to do it because it's more humor than romance and I'm getting into the whole comedy thing with this one...anyway... sorry for the delay on this chapter...I did promise a few people that it'd be up a week ago...oops...but it's here now!!!

Chapter Five:

Scottish Cowboys – Part Two

--

Dear sweet baby Jesus. I was surrounded by Scottish cowboys...beady eyes...ginger hair (which Leggy insisted I call 'red')...scary accents...tartan chaps...and a smell I couldn't quite put my finger on at the time...I later discovered it was whisky.

I'll admit, I'm not entirely sure what Leggy had said to persuade me to come with her...I should had left her there...they might have taken her in and raised her as if she were their own. But, I, Bunny 'Juliette' Avalon, am not that lucky. Leggy had dragged me to find Shamus, dragged me to his car and Leggy had followed behind in the Thunderbird convertible.

I was surprised that she didn't want to cosy up to our dear Shamus, I pointed this out when we arrived outside the house, her reply was: 'Meh'. Ah, that's my Leggy, full of knowledge and 'meh'.

The ride wasn't too bad with Shamus; I just kept looking ahead and tried not to move. If he said something I'd keep my reply to a minimum, a nod or a shrug at the most. To be honest...he didn't look like a rapist or a cannibal...he was actually quite attractive...there was just something about the idea of a Scottish cowboy that seemed wrong. He should be wearing a kilt and be playing the bagpipes... not wearing denim and playing the harmonica. It was highly disturbing.

But back to what was happening with the family of Scottish cowboys... the father was the one who had asked me if I wanted more haggis. I wasn't entirely sure what it was. It was on a tray a few inches in front of my face, it had looked like a meatloaf before Leggy had gotten her greedy little hands on it...she was on her third helping...but the family didn't seem to mind. I had managed to avoid it, only eating roast potatoes and vegetables, but now, it seemed unavoidable because he had just slopped it onto my plate. Yummy.

Leggy, had confirmed at the beginning of every helping that it smelt like lamb...which was very annoying because every helping was from the same thing...they were all going to smell like lamb. I tried to kick her under the table...but she tucked her legs under her chair. The fiend.

I could feel everyone watching me, I looked up to see Leggy peering at me curiously, "Does it smell like lamb?" she asked. I tried to kick her again but to no avail.

I ate the haggis and it did taste slightly like lamb, but I regretted it that night when I and Leggy were in the spare bedroom. I felt queasy and was laid on the right side of the double bed, holding my stomach and trying not to blow chunks again. Leggy was sat up on the left side informing me about her and Shamus' future life together. It was really quite boring. So boring. That it sent me to sleep.

I woke up to the sound of munching, I turned over to see Leggy eating Oreo cookies, well, licking off the icing and throwing the rest away...after smelling each one. I grabbed a few from the bad and munched away with her.

"I'm starting to understand Scottish accents now." Leggy commented.

"Really?" I asked from the en suite bathroom (I know...why the hell do Scottish cowboys have en suites?), understanding what those people were saying last night is a gift as far as I'm concerned.

"Yeah, I sneaked out last night to see Shamus and I told him that that haggis stuff didn't go well with you and he told me what it was. And I understood him. I think."

She sneaked out last night to see Shamus??? I don't know why I was surprised, I'm just wondering how much of him she saw...if ya' get ma' drift...

I walked back into the bedroom and started to put my jeans back on, "What was it?"

"Sheep's stomach." I fell flat on my ass.

#Five minutes later#

"Calm down, I don't get why your so freaked out." Leggy said as she struggled to get free...but I had tied the sleeves of her sweater together...she wasn't going anywhere but the car. Mwhahaha!

"Leggy, they fed us sheep's stomach! I'm not staying in that mad house any longer. And neither are you!" I was dragging her to the car, the Scottish family were watching from the front door and windows.

"It's a traditional Scottish dish you poo-face!" She struggled again, as I shoved her into the Thunderbird.

I went round to the other side of the car, stuck the keys in the ignition and got the hell away from that house.

"You know you're overreacting." Leggy said as she waved and blew kisses to the house behind us.

"I just don't approve of eating sheep's stomach."

"But it was my dream home...everyone had red hair" She turned back around to face me.

I turned to look at her, "Their hair was ginger."

"It was red." She growled back at me.

"Leggy, it was ginger and they all had beards...even the women!"

"Whatever...poo-face."

I kicked her. I was victorious this time. Mwhahaha!

--

Just thought I'd add something about dear Shamus, the real Shamus, he doesn't go to school thingy anymore (okay, I'm getting really sick and tired of calling it school thingy, it is actually called jasp) so anyway he doesn't go to jasp :( :( :( he's gone back into mainstream school.

And in the next chapter, Leggy and Bunny should hopefully reach Castle Rock, hopefully being the keyword there.

Pip Pip!

PS: I just want to thank everyone who's reviewed so far since chappie one. Your reviews make me smile when I find them lurking about in my inbox :)