I was watching Batman train hobos in martial arts in an old, decrepit barn when I was shaken awake. I groaned and rolled over, trying to remember my dream, but I heard Jack's voice.
"Rise and shine, Monica. It's time for your training."
"There'll be no shining today if you don't let me sleep," I said into my pillow, eyes tightly screwed shut.
"You were excited about this last night!" said Jack, sounding mollified. "Come on, get up. You have a long day ahead of you."
"Just five more minutes."
"No! Get up now!"
He ripped the covers away from the bed, revealing me curled up in a little ball clutching my pillow.
"Hey!" I said angrily, sitting up on my knees. "Give that back!"
I furiously reached for the blanket, but Jack yanked it out of my reach. As a result, I toppled out of bed onto the floor.
"Oof!" I sat up at Jack's feet, rubbing my shoulder where I had hit the floor.
"I've never met anyone so clumsy," Jack muttered.
I took advantage of his disbelief and snatched the blanket from him. Surprised, he let it go. I sat on the floor, wrapped in the blanket and glaring up at Jack.
"Please get up?" he asked, picking up the lantern he had set on the bedside table.
Grumbling, I stood up, still wrapped in the blanket. "Good morning, star shine, the Earth says hello!" I muttered under my breath.
"What?" said Jack, looking as if he were worried about my mental health.
"Nothing," I said quickly, suppressing a smile. I didn't much feel like explaining Willy Wonka to him.
Jack was lifting the shades to one of the windows in my room. "What the--it's not even light out!" I exclaimed, sitting grumpily on the bed.
"Exactly. We don't want to be disturbed," Jack said, peering out the window. "And hopefully, there will be no one sober enough to even think about getting up early today."
Rubbing my eyes, I asked, "So what is it you have in store for me today, Captain Sparrow? Will you be training me in drinking or avoiding confrontation?"
"Just swords today," said Jack cheerfully, ignoring my chuckles and turning to face me. "If we're lucky, you'll be able to face a civilian by the end of the day."
"Face a civilian?" I asked incredulously. "You mean a drunk? Somehow I don't think that'll be a very tough challenge. All I'll have to do is throw a bottle of rum in the other direction."
"You'd be surprised. They can be nasty opponents, as you saw last night," said Jack, crossing his arms matter-of-factly.
"Right," I muttered, remembering the huge bald man that had confronted us. "But I managed to knock him out twice! And it seems he wasn't too keen to stand up to your pistol."
"You can't survive by knocking your enemies out, love," said Jack, turning one of the chairs in front of the fireplace to face me on the bed. "All that does is make them angry. And besides, that man knew I had the guts to blow his brains out. I'm not sure he'd get the same impression from you. Savvy?"
"Impression?" I repeated.
"Monica, when I look at you, I don't see a killer," said Jack, smirking.
"Then what do you see?" I asked, returning his smirk right back.
"I see a clumsy, lazy, nearly helpless girl who's always getting herself into trouble."
"Why, you--"
My insults were cut short by a throat being cleared loudly. Jack and I looked to see the innkeeper holding a lantern in my doorway.
"Uh...it's time to get up," he slurred uncertainly, squinting at the dull light cast by his lantern.
I grinned to myself. Hangover! I thought, noticing his sensitivity to light. Man, I hope he doesn't throw up all over the floor...
Fortunately, there was no up being chucked today. "Thank you," Jack said, smiling politely. The innkeeper swayed in the doorway a bit longer, and finally stumbled through Jack's room and into the hallway.
Before I could continue my tirade, Jack stood up. "Well! I think that settles it--you need to get up, I need to get something to eat, and that innkeeper needs to get some good sleep." He turned around haphazardly and walked back into his room, leaving his lantern with me.
I groaned again, rubbing my eyes. I don't feel much better than that innkeeper, I thought, yawning. Not that I would know what a hangover would feel like, of course...
Smiling, I put on my boots and belt and went to find Jack.
Ten minutes later, after wolfing down a breakfast of overcooked eggs, stale bread, and dirty water and enduring the complaints of the innkeeper that we were "eating too loudly," Jack and I stood in the middle of the square. The sun was just coming up, and the dark blue sky was streaked with pink and orange. Sighing at the sight, I turned to Jack, wondering what to do.
Jack was busy sharpening his sword on a whetstone he had found nearby, sitting on one barrel and laying his sword on another. As he ran the stone down the edge of his sword, I swallowed hard.
"Uh...is that really necessary?" I asked, trying to hide the apprehension in my voice (and failing miserably).
Jack looked up, noting my concern. "Sorry," he said, pocketing the whetstone. "I guess it really isn't necessary...but it needed sharpening anyway." He stood up, looking up at the colorful sky.
"Isn't this lovely?" he asked, walking closer to me, his eyes still on the sky, and sheathing his sword. "Seeing a beautiful sunrise just before learning how to fight?" He frowned at me. "You said you wanted to do this. It's your own fault you're up so early."
"My fault?" I repeated incredulously. "I don't see why we have to get up at the crack of dawn to fight each other!"
"To avoid the drunks!" he replied, as if anyone in the world could have answered that. "Now, come on. Draw your sword," he said, doing the same with his own.
I pulled on the hilt of my sword, yanking it from the sheath it had been in for about the past four days. It took a lot of strength, since my belt had been in the ocean, the sword in the leather sheath, and had not been dried out properly. Finally, the sword came free. Unfortunately, I had been pulling on the sword much too hard, and I stumbled sideways, almost falling over, but I caught myself, sword clutched in my right hand and my left hand thrown out to balance myself. I looked up at Jack, feeling my face turn red.
He grinned at my embarrassment and clapped sarcastically, sword still in hand. "Now are you happy we came out here so early? If we had been later, people might have seen that!"
"Yeah, I'm really thrilled to be here, lemme tell ya," I said sarcastically, standing up straight. I stood there awkwardly with the heavy sword, unsure of what to do.
"Well?" Jack asked.
"Well what?" I said grumpily.
"Attack me!"
"What? You're supposed to be teaching me!"
"This is a test to see where you stand. I need to know where to start teaching you," Jack explained, amused at my frustration.
I huffed angrily, but didn't move. "I don't know what I'm doing...so sorry if I chop your ear off or something!"
I stepped up to him, frowning uncertainly.
"Uh..."
I held my sword out towards him, shrugging. He grinned and raised his own sword. I took a swing at him, nearly losing my grip on my sword in the process. Jack took advantage of this and hit my sword with his own. I was knocked sideways by the force of his blow and stumbled, thrown off balance by the heavy sword in my right hand and the belt that was threatening to slide down my legs.
"Hmm..." Jack was still standing in the same spot, watching me curiously. I stood up quickly, not wanting to seem clumsy, and pointed my sword at him. My belt slid down, the sheath on my left weighing it down, and as I quickly moved to lift it up, it dropped to the ground around my feet.
I groaned and picked it up, bringing it up around my legs with dismay. "This is impossible!" I exclaimed, letting the heavy belt drop to its original spot around my hips.
"No, I think I know what you need," said Jack thoughtfully, eyeing the belt.
"What, bigger hips? Sorry, buddy, you're gonna have to wait."
"No..." he sheathed his sword and turned to a pile of old rags that had been left outside of a building next to the inn.
"Ah, dirty laundry. Gotcha," I said with mock understanding.
"Oh, shut up," Jack said, producing what looked like another belt.
"That one's even bigger than this one!" I said, wondering what the hell he was thinking.
"What did I just tell you?" He walked toward me, eyes on this new belt, which almost matched the brown of my old one, but was a bit lighter. "Come here."
Rolling my eyes, I walked up to him.
"Take that off," he instructed me, nodding towards my belt, and unbuckling the one in his hands.
Not sure of what he was thinking, I unbuckled my belt, stuck my sword in the sheath, and waited for further instruction.
Jack draped the belt over my left shoulder, with one end hanging in front of me and the other hanging down my back. Next, he took my old belt and fastened it around my hips, pulling one end of the new belt through it, so the lighter one on my shoulder was supporting the darker one on my hips. He went behind me to fasten the new one, buckling it under my arm and letting it fall to my right hip, still fastened to the old belt. The new belt was now draped across my chest diagonally, much like the ones I had seen on Barbossa and his crew.
Jack shifted the new belt so the large silver buckle was on my chest. "There," he said, stepping back. "How's that?"
I looked down at the belt buckle, examining it. It was very big, and the metal was almost solid, its only spaces barely letting the leather of the belt through. It felt like a shield, almost, protecting my chest. The silver was tarnishing, but the wrought design on it was very cool-looking. "Uh...badass?" I said, grinning up at Jack. "Thanks. It looks good, and I think it'll help me balance. Sorry about being a jerk about it before."
Jack shrugged. "No worries. Besides, you're right, it does look badass." He drew his sword again. "Now are we ready to fight?" he asked, grinning.
"Sure. If you can call what I'm doing fighting!"
Over the next few hours I learned attacks, blocks, and parries. Jack was a fair enough teacher, only stopping to laugh at me a few times.
At around noon, when some of the more novice drinkers began to "rise and shine," Jack and I returned to the inn for lunch.
"I noticed your voice is coming back," Jack commented as we sat down."
"Yeah, sure is," I said, sitting heavily in my seat. The past few hours had been exhausting and had left me more than just a little bit sore. "Must be this water," I said as the innkeeper set our meals in front of us, giving me a cheery wink. Well, it might have been a wink--I wasn't sure if his blinking had the right timing.
Jack peered into my mug after inspecting his own. "I think you got more dirt in yours," he mused, flicking the mug. Sure enough, some brownish bubbles rose to the surface, bursting into wet dirt clods.
"Ugh!" I said, revolted. "Can I have some of yours?"
"No!" said Jack, pulling his mug closer to him protectively.
"Some friend you are," I grumbled, standing up. "I'm gonna go see if the water pump outside is sanitary."
"It probably isn't," said Jack cheerily. "Have fun!"
I left him sniffing his meat experimentally. We weren't sure exactly what kind of meat it was, so I didn't blame him. I, for one, couldn't think of any meat that had the ability to mold.
I stepped outside the inn, mug in hand, and started for the water pump. There was a well, too, I knew, but the number of times I had seen people going in and out of that thing--I shuddered to think of how filthy the water would be.
I arrived at the pump, relieved that it hadn't been taken over by drunks. I noticed how high up the faucet was, tall enough for someone to stand under it. Great, this'll make getting water in the mug a lot harder, I thought. I placed the mug on the ground and tentatively pulled the lever up.
Mud splashed onto my mug, spraying my boots.
"Yuck!" I exclaimed, stepping back quickly. I picked up the mug, dismayed.
"Well, I'd take dirty water over watery dirt any day," I muttered, dumping the mud on the ground.
I heard a chuckle coming from in front of me. I looked up to see a group of men leering at me.
I stared at them. They stared at me. When no one said anything, I turned to walk away.
One of them grabbed my arm. "Aren't you Jack Sparrow's daughter?"
"Captain," I said immediately, pulling my arm away from the man gently. "Captain Jack Sparrow."
"But you're his daughter?" the man asked. He had curly black hair that was almost hidden under a tattered black tri-corn. He was very tan, and his hands were rough and calloused. His clothes were very well worn, almost falling apart.
A pirate! I thought, taking a step back. I wasn't sure why this alarmed me, as I had spent the last four days with pirates. But I knew I shouldn't mess with this one.
"Yes, I'm his daughter," I said cautiously. Geez, word travels fast around here... "Why?"
"No reason," the man said, grinning. I noticed that most of his teeth were gold.
"Well! Glad that's cleared up, then," I said, turning to leave. But the man's friends had gathered in front of me.
I counted three of them, including the original black-haired man. Clearly, they wanted something, and I sure as hell wasn't going to give it to them!
Without thinking, I backed up into the pump. They followed. I glanced back to make sure there were none of them behind me--and noticed the pump.
I leapt behind it, pretending to be frightened. Actually, I was about to shit myself. When they came even closer, I heaved the lever as hard as I could.
Mud rained down on two of the men, causing them to splutter and stop to wipe the mess out of their eyes.
Wow, that was easy, I thought. Now that just leaves...
The black haired pirated lunged around the pump to grab me. I reached around the other side of the pump to smack him in the head with my mug, moving him out of the way to position the mug under the faucet. I pulled the lever again, letting some mud drop into the mug. When the black-haired man got his bearings, he was greeted by a faceful of mud and a WHACK! in the noggin by my mug.
He fell to the ground, moaning. His two cronies bent to help him, and I hurdled over them to sprint back to the inn.
I finally arrived at the inn, panting, and slammed the door shut behind me. Jack and the innkeeper, the only people there, turned to look at me, and then turned back to their respective duties.
I walked towards the table and slumped in my chair, exhausted. I glanced up at Jack, who hadn't seemed to notice anything.
"Get some water?" he asked, picking at his meat.
"No," I said, plunking my muddy mug on the table. "But I did get some trouble."
"Why am I not surprised?" Jack muttered, finally looking at me. "You can't go anywhere by yourself without getting into some kind of trouble."
"Yeah, I noticed," I grumbled, laying my head on my arms on the table.
"So, what was it this time?" Jack asked, turning back to his mystery meat. "Witches? Werewolves? Missing rum?"
"Nah, just pirates," I said, pushing my plate away. "They wanted to know if I was your daughter."
Jack froze, staring wide-eyed at his potatoes. "And what did you say?"
"Yes, of course."
He grinned. "Good girl!"
I smiled and sat back in my chair. "I just hope none of them saw me come back here..." I told Jack about how I had managed to fight off three pirates using only a broken water pump and a mug.
"You seem to be bashing people over the head a lot lately," Jack commented. "I wonder who's next?"
We heard a clunk come from the desk. We turned around to see the innkeeper staring at me, clearly terrified.
"Oh, don't worry," Jack said cheerily. "She's got no quarrel with you." He turned to me. "Do you?"
I shook my head, smiling at the innkeeper.
"Good! No worries, then," Jack said, turning back to the innkeeper. He stared at Jack for a moment, then smiled, nodded, and went back to whatever it was he had been doing.
"Well, I think these pirates knew you were here in the first place," Jack said in a low voice. "That's how they found you so quickly."
"So quickly?" I scoffed. "What, am I being hunted?"
"I hope not," Jack said vaguely, and took a sip of his dirty water.
I shook my head and covered my face in my hands. "It's not even noon and already I'm in a boatload of trouble," I groaned.
"No, I'd say shipload," Jack said helpfully, smacking his lips.
Jack bribed the innkeeper to let us use the basement for more sword practice, as he didn't want me going outside anymore. He said we would wait for nightfall before heading back to the Black Pearl.
"But won't that make us more vulnerable to surprise attacks?" I had asked, concerned.
"It'll make you less able to spot," he replied, before sliding two shillings over to the innkeeper.
Now, we stood in the damp basement, moving spare chairs and shelves out of the way to create a makeshift dueling ring.
"Dude, I can't even see in here. How are we gonna be able to fight?" I asked, dragging two chairs to the side of the room.
"Dude?" Jack repeated, shoving a chest out of the middle of the floor.
"Yeah. It means...uh, like, 'Man, this really stinks,' or like, 'Damn, did you see that guy's teeth?'"
"Dude, did you see that rat just run past your leg?"
I jumped and turned around. Sure enough, there was a fat little rat running along the wall, its beady eyes glinting in the soft light of the lantern.
Jack chuckled. "You're not scared, are ya?" he asked, moving to my side.
"No," I said quickly. "It just...startled me, is all."
"Right."
"I mean it! I've never even seen a rat up close before--well, besides pet rats," I added.
Jack frowned incredulously. "Pet rats?"
I nodded, looking around for the little rodent, which had disappeared while we had been talking.
Jack shook his head. "No matter. Let's just get back to your training."
Another few hours, a bloody nose, and a few cut up fingers later, Jack and I emerged from the basement to the main room of the inn.
"You did well tonight," Jack remarked.
"You sound surprised," I said, amused.
"Well, it's just that you said you'd never done it before, and you preformed like a natural."
"I learned from the best!" I replied, smiling. "Could have done without the bloody nose, though..."
"Yeah, that was...unexpected," said Jack sheepishly. "Sorry, I guess I got a little rough there,"
"Don't worry about it," I said, punching him playfully on the arm. "I had a good time, overall...and you were pretty good, too."
I realized the room was silent. the other patrons of the inn were staring at Jack and I, who had just emerged from the basement together talking about each other's performances...
"Ugh!" I shouted at the slack-jawed crowd, which was staring at us, wide-eyed. "You all should be ashamed!"
I looked up at Jack for support. He looked amused at my reaction. "Yeah...go back to your drinks."
At that, everyone turned back to whatever they had been doing, but still eyeing us suspiciously.
Disgusted, I slumped down at an empty table. Jack sat down too, still wearing an amused expression.
"What? Don't you think that's gross?" I asked angrily.
"Yes, but it's still funny," he replied, not quite suppressing a grin. I rolled my eyes and looked away. Men, I thought peevishly. Can't live with 'em, 'cause they're all pigs...but can't live without 'em, 'cause they're good at saving my ass!
When Jack and I were finished with our dinner of leftover mystery meat and withered green beans, we headed up to our room for bed. Jack had apologized for "not respecting my feelings," and this had made me feel a great deal better.
"Good night!" I said cheerfully, walking into my room.
"Good night," he replied, yawning. "Dude, I'm tired..."
I fell asleep grinning.