Disclaimer: (I thought I should start doing these so I don't get sued or anything...unlikely...but just in case) I own everyone in this chapter except Jolene aka Leggy...she is a real person – Blondie 03 – check out her story 'Anywhere But Here' – I'm in it :) Weeeeeeee!
Author's Note(s): My babies! I'm so sorry that I've left it for so long! But my computer has been really fucked up for almost a month, I mean I'm typing on mine but mine doesn't have the internet, the one that does have the internet has decided to be a complete an utter little mechanical smelly poo-head. So I'm going to post this at jasp because they have the internet there! Wee!
Other news: (this basically is about me because I'm selfish and I enjoy complaining -) hehe) boys are smelly…well…not really…they just suck…I officially hate my boyfriend…probably going to break up with him cos he's a bloody wanker (British anger coming through) I'm warning you now girls, just stay away from boys…unless their name happens to be Kiefer Sutherland or Captain Jack Sparrow…but you better stay away from them to because they're mine! All mine! Mwhahaha!
Anyway…just going to say…if I break up with my boyfriend (who shall now be known as 'wanker-head')…I'm going to be become a lesbian…seriously…so any curious girls out there…you know…email me…
And to my buddy Sophie, I heard 'love shack' on the radio today…it brought back so many memories about our summer fling sigh lol, anyway, this chapter's for you dude!
Chapter Six: Sophie!
We had been driving forever, or should I say I had been driving forever? I had asked Leggy to switch places with me in the driver's seat when it was beginning to get dark…
#flashback#
"Run rabbit! Run rabbit!
Run. Run. Run.
Here comes the farmer with his
Gun. Gun -"
"Leggy! For the last time stop singing!" I tried to kick her again but she quickly avoided my attack and the car swerved to the right.
Leggy let out a high shrill, I don't know if it was because I'd tried to kick her or if it was because the car had swerved. But who cares? It sounded hilarious, like a violin…on crack…
I got the car quickly back onto the road, if you could call it a road; there hadn't been any more buildings since we left the Scottish cowboy family. Therefore, Leggy and I were on a dirt track just heading…in whatever direction we were heading…
Leggy seemed to have calmed herself down and started humming. That I didn't mind. It was a hell of a lot better than all the nursery rhymes she'd been singing. I think I'll get her a part time job at a kindergarten while we're in Castle Rock.
The humming didn't last long. It had turned into whistling, half an hour later; the whistling had turned into la-ing. And then…the nursery rhymes began to repeat themselves.
"I'm a little teapot short and stout,
Here's my handle and here's my -"
"Can we switch now?" I pleaded, hoping that she'd have to concentrate on her driving so much that she wouldn't sing…or do the actions…believe me…she was actually doing the actions…
"Just give me ten minutes." She replied before bursting into 'Three Blind Mice'.
#end flashback#
She had fallen asleep five minutes after that, halfway through 'Hickory Dickory Dock'. Literally halfway through, one second she was singing and the next she had fallen asleep.
God knows and I know that the silence was wonderful, but because it had happened so quickly I'd swerved again. And there must have been a bump or something in the road because the car jerked when I got back onto the 'road', I didn't stop or look back. I feared that it could have been a little baby porcupine, but at the same time, I knew if I had stopped and had seen that I had a permanently crippled Scottish cowboy…I wouldn't have helped…
It was dark, and there was a light to my left, a convenience store! Food! Cherry twists ahoy!
#many many hours later#
I woke up in the front passenger seat, Leggy was driving, and it was daylight. I felt dizzy as I tried to stretch out my tired limbs.
"You bought cherry twists and you didn't give me any." Leggy said through gritted teeth, not taking her eyes off of the road.
"What?" I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
"I woke up to find you all giddy on a sugar high. You'd eaten all the cherry twists."
"Why didn't you just go back into the convenience store and some for yourself?"
"Because I woke up when you crashed us into a ditch in the middle of nowhere," she said as she made a right on the street. I looked in the pocket mirror that was on the dashboard, I had dust all over my face, and looking more closely at Leggy, so did she.
"Oh," I murmured, sitting up straight.
Note to self:
Don't let Leggy near a jukebox in public.
Never eat cherry twists again. Ever.
Wait a minute…street? We were on a street?
"Leggy…where are we?" I asked as she made another turn.
"Castle Rock baby!"
We wooted in unison.
"Why do you keep turning…you're…you're circling this block…"
"I don't know where anyone lives" Leggy replied innocently. "And, besides, there's this really cute guy mowing the lawn on the other side…shirtless!"
I looked at her with mock surprise and then I got suspicious, "how long have you been circling this block exactly?"
"About an hour." She replied in the most Leggy-ish of ways, like it was completely normal to circle…I looked for the street sign…the View? We had been circling the rich side of town for an hour? They must think we're complete retards…well…they'd be right for at least one of us…
"Hey, there's Aurora's house!" I pointed to the intimidating mansion-like structure.
"Dude! Are we staying there? It looks so freaking ritzy!" She replied like a kid as she pulled up to the curb.
We got out and went up the stairs to the porch, the door was ajar. I knocked on the door as I peered in, "Aurora? Soph?"
There she was, sat on the stairs, fat with pregnancy…haha. She was gasping for breath, boy; she really was excited to see me.
I stepped towards her on the marble floor, I heard Leggy utter a 'wow' behind me as she took in the roman-like columns and high ceilings. We'd be living it up now I tell thee.
I stepped in water, I looked down at my trainers, and there was water all the way up to Sophie on the stairs, just a few feet away.
"Are you okay?" I took one big stride and was soon crouched down on the floor, eye-level with Sophie who was still gasping for breath.
She looked at me with frightened eyes, "my water broke."
It took my mind to release what she meant; she was giving me a weird look when I didn't react.
"My waters broke!" She said again.
It sunk in. "The baby!" I exclaimed.
"The baby!" Cried Leggy. "The baby…?" She looked at Sophie and me with a questioning glance and the looked at Sophie's obvious bump. "Oh…the baby."
"When did it happen?" I asked Sophie
"About ten minutes ago."
"Have you called for an ambulance?"
"No, I…I couldn't get up." She said gesturing to the bump.
It was mean of me but I giggled as I pulled her up to her feet. Leggy was next to me and was helping, they quickly exchanged greetings.
I looked at Leggy, "Go call 911, get an ambulance." She trotted off to find a phone, after Sophie pointed towards the reception room.
"Julie, I want Eyeball. I want him to be there." As I looked back at her, the rebel I'd left had become a blubbering cherub. Tears started to pool down her cheeks. "I need him to be there."
I held her as she clung on to me, it was pretty emotional, I could have cried myself, but Leggy's call stopped me from doing so:
"What's the number for 911?" Her voice came from the reception room on my left.
Sophie pulled back from me, "Oh…she's the," she made her finger go round in a little circle next to her head, "loopy one."
"That's one way of describing her." Something then popped into my head, "where is everyone?"
"Aurora and her family are staying with her aunt for the summer, Eyeball's at the diner…I think."
I nodded and called back to Leggy, "Put the phone down bi-atch! We're driving!"
Sophie and I began walking to the door as Leggy emerged as if from nowhere…wooo…
"Wait, you got anything to take, like some spare clothes or anything that I can go and get?" I asked as I let go of Sophie's arm.
"Yeah, there's a bag under the bed in mine and Eyeball's room, up the stairs, make a left on the right wing, second door to the right." She smiled
I was appalled. I knew this house was big…but big enough to have wings? Dude…I knew this was going to be sweet.
"Leggy, take Sophie to the car." I ordered, I turned to Sophie, "I'll go and get your things." Captain Bunny is in control. I was amazed at my calmness as I plodded up the stairs and found myself surrounded by expensive painting with rich colors, tapestries and lots and lots and lots of urns.
I was back downstairs in less than five minutes, I'll be honest, I was running. Not only because it was huge but there was something made of rubber that had obviously been used lying in the middle of the bed in Sophie and Eyeball's room. Eew. I knew they'd done it, obviously if Sophie's pregnant. But damn, how long had that thing been there? It was nearly 11am…I shuddered again.
Wait a minute…why would they use protection if Sophie's pregnant? It's a bit darn late if you ask me.
I was back outside and nearing the car, Sophie was pressing herself against the back seat, and if I were in her position I'd be doing the same thing. Leggy, sitting in the driver's seat, had turned around and was puffing and panting like some sort of horny gorilla, right at Sophie.
I put the bag on the car floor at the back, "Leggy what the hell are you doing?"
"I'm showing Sophie some breathing techniques," she said, pausing to say it and then continuing immediately after.
I walked around to the back of the car and as I passed where Sophie was sitting, she grabbed onto my arm and yanked me down so she could whisper into my ear, "if you leave me alone with her again I swear I'll bust a cap in your ass."
Aah…there's the Sophie I remember and love. I pulled away, and went to the driver's side, I opened the door, "move aside Leggy."
"I thought I was driving?"
"Afraid not, you drive like a little old lady." I said as she slid along to the passenger seat.
"Well, at least I don't crash into ditches, Bunny." She said my name with emphasise.
I skilfully kicked her as I sat down.
"Bunny?" Sophie asked from the back.
"To cut a long story short, Soph, Bunny's my real name, but you can still call me Julie." I revved the engine and we were off.
Sophie started snort laughing, "Your name is Bunny!" gasp "I can't believe it" snort "Bunny?" snort snort "that's funny as fuck!" gasp snort gasp.
I tried to ignore her as I drove way over the limit towards the diner, I remembered the way, it was where Ace took me for our first date. Ace. My heart suddenly leapt at the thought of seeing him again.
"Jesus! Slow down will you! You almost knocked over that old woman!" Leggy exclaimed.
Sophie, being the treasure that she is, turned round in her seat and yelled, "Move it grandma! I'm having a baby!"
The old lady just shook her first in response, then Sophie reached forward and grabbed my shoulder and squeezed I almost swerved…almost…she started screaming.
"Contraction?" Leggy asked
"What the fuck does it look like?" Sophie spat at Leggy.
Oh, this was going to be fun, these two were going to get on like a house on fire.
I pulled up outside the diner and jumped out of the car ten seconds later when Sophie's contraction had stopped and she'd let go.
"Jul – I mean, Bunny." She said as she nudged her head towards Leggy.
Right, don't leave them alone together.
"Come on, Leggy."
"What do you need me for?"
"Just come on, will you?" I said opening her door and dragging her out.
"But I was going to show her some more breathing techniques."
"No, she'll be fine for a few seconds without you." I said as we reached the door.
I swung it open. We must have been a sight, neither us had showered since we'd left, we were covered in dust from crashing into the ditch, and our hair probably looked as through we'd been combing it with a rake…I'm sure everyone knows what high speeds in a car do to you're hair…
I glanced around; curious and amused eyes looked back. I saw the back of Eyeball's head in the corner booth. I walked towards it and began talking as Leggy followed, "Eyeball, you've got to come quick, it's -"
I stopped dead in my tracks. I saw the other occupants of the booth. There, sitting opposite Eyeball, was the man I'd come back for, the man I'd dreamt about for months. Ace Merrill, and sitting on his lap was some red-head, attached to his lips. I couldn't speak. Tears threatened to fall. My eyes wouldn't leave what they were staring at, refusing to believe.
Leggy had stopped behind me and was poking me in the side. Eyeball had heard me and turned around in his seat, "Juiliette…" he followed my gaze.
Ace looked up and I couldn't look away. I could have cried. Leggy whispered in my ear, "Bee, everyone's looking at us."
"You want to take a picture, it'll last longer?" The red-head on Ace's lap attempted to joke (I say attempted because no one laughed and I could have cut off her head with a pair of hedge trimmers), looking at Leggy and me with disgust. That snapped me out of it; I was back onto the mission at hand…although I'm sure that chocolate milkshake would stain that tiny pink dress of hers perfectly…
I looked at Eyeball, resisting myself to pick up the milkshake, "Sophie's in labour." I said plainly.
He stood up immediately, "What? Where is she?" He demanded grabbing his jacket.
"In our car, outside."
I turned around and looked at Leggy, who was looking at Ace. She walked past me and to the table, I turned away. She was probably going to chat up…what was his name? Vince? Yeah, Vince, he seemed like her type…what am I saying?...everyone's Leggy's type.
I followed Eyeball to the door, there was shriek behind us, we both turned. Leggy, God bless her, had read my mind. She'd picked up the chocolate milkshake and tipped it over the red-head and Ace.
I swear, even though she can be dim at times, I would have asked her to marry me at that moment in an instant…if either of us were lesbians…and if I was remotely attracted to her…
Author's Note(s): Well, you lucky lucky readers you, you get two to three chapters rolled into one. Just over nine freaking pages (one line to be exact). How generous am I? You can thank, praise or worship me by sending me a review. Go on, you know you want to.
I promise promise promise that I'll update in two weeks at the most!
Pip Pip :runs to the toilet cos she really needs to pee: