Disclaimer: (I thought I should start doing these so I don't get sued or anything...unlikely...but just in case) Main characters: I own Bunny. I own Sophie (she's my bi-atch). And Leggy owns herself…I don't know where she is :( haven't heard from my Leggy-poos in ages. I want my Leggy-poos! Waaaah! Stephen King owns the other characters (duh) but Rob Reiner owns the gorgeousness of the other characters because he gave them gorgeousness in the movie! All hail Rob Reiner! And any of the other characters that you see are also mine. All mine. Like the pube I can see on my bed……………………………………………………

Author's Note(s): Many apologies for the long wait. Things have really gone downhill for me. I had the pooeyest Christmas ever – I was alone on the actual day because I don't get on with my grandparents and that's where my family went. And the day after wanker-head broke up with me! Bloody bastard! So yeah, I was pretty low for weeks, because I have to see him at jasp (edu centre) every week and I don't know what to say to him. And now there's like five guys after me on this website called faceparty…so life's been complicated. So many many many many many many many many many many apologies.

Sophie being the darling that she is has offered to kick wanker head's ass for me…anyone else who makes that offer will get a… captain jack sparrow transformer…captain jack sparrow transforms into a naked captain jack sparrow…review now while stocks last! And trust me stocks probably won't last because…er…you know…NAKED CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!

On a lighter and less depressing note: anyone who has any ideas for things they'd like to see happen in this story send them in. I say ideas not people, I'm planning a fic that, if you want to be in it, you can be…posted soon so look out for that, and AOH is going to be back up soon after a looooooooong break.

Chapter Seven: The baby

Me and Eyeball walked out the door, he immediately climbed into the car to attend to Sophie, who was breathing heavily and had a deep red blush smoothed over her cheeks. I kept the door of the diner open, waiting for Leggy to grace us with her presence.

"Baby, are you okay?" Eyeball asked Sophie tenderly, sitting next to her in the back seat.

"Do I look okay!" She began panting quickly and I knew what was coming, another contraction, "give me your hand!" She demanded, looking at Eyeball.

He obeyed quickly. Sophie started screaming and then…so did Eyeball.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" And that was Sophie's mouth uttering those nasty nasty words. I will not repeat what Eyeball yelled out in his moment of pain, for your ears shall fall off if I do! Or your eyes will pop out since your reading this…

Leggy finally came out, I immediately hugged her and thanked her for defending my honor? No no. She didn't do that she… avenged my broken heart!

"Thank you so much! I can't believe you did that – I mean – I was thinking about doing the exact same thing! Awe Leggy, you're the best." I pulled away, slightly uncomfortable because everyone in the diner could see us through the windows.

Author's Note: Don't worry this isn't the end of the chapter I just got the greatest fuckinest idea ever! The blonde that was on Ace's lap is now a red head – all will become clear soon – I don't want to give too much away. Back to the story:

"I know, I like red headed men but girls – yuck! And she was so snotty." She replied somewhat modestly.

"Wait a minute. Don't you know who that was? The guy who's lap she was sat on?" I stopped and looked at her.

"No. Why? Who was he?" She also stooped.

"That was Ace!" I said as a look of disbelief exploded on Leggy's face.

"Him? In there? That was Ace!"

I nodded my head in a reply.

She shook her head, "Alright! It's on now!" She began to march back up to the diner.

"Leggy! No! We got to take Sophie and Eyeball to the hospital." I grabbed her arm as she was inches before the door. "And what are you going to do to him anyway? He'd snap you in two."

She looked at me peevishly, "Fine."

We got Back into the front seats of the car, Sophie was holding her bump while Eyeball was moaning that she'd crippled him:

"Look at my hand! Look what you've done to my hand!"

I looked in the rearview mirror and saw that it was red and slightly bruised. Damn, what the hell was my shoulder going to look like?

"Okay. Eyeball this is Leggy. Leggy this is Eyeball." I said before starting the engine and knocking over a mailbox when we pulled away from the curb. Oops.

"Leggy?" He looked at her with confusion.

"My name's Jolene. Bunny just made Leggy up, it's a nickname." She said the last part, motioning to me.

"Bunny?" He looked at me the Leggy then me again.

"It's my real name, I made Juiliette up."

"Bunny is your real name?" I could tell that this wasn't going to be easy, letting everyone know my real name.

"Yeah," I turned my eyes back to the road.

Laughter then filled the backseat, Sophie was holding onto her bump and trying to hold her laughter in while Eyeball was holding his stomach, rolling around and letting in his laughter blurt out. I turned the radio on and turned it up to block it out. Eyeball's laughter still overpowered the music. Damn.

We reached the hospital moments later, when we got to the front desk, after Sophie waddled (haha) after us, they stuck her in a wheelchair and wheeled her away. The three of us followed in pursuit but ended up getting lost for about ten minutes in the canteen…we were hungry!

We then heard a familiar sound, Sophie screaming in agony. Leggy stood up and pointed in the direction it came from and then yelling in a mock British accent, "Tally ho!" She ran off while me and Eyeball looked at each other, shrugged and then followed.

Sophie was on one of those trolley type things in a gown being wheeled somewhere by people in uniform aka doctors and nurses, when we found her.

"Where the hell have you guys been?" She yelled to us as the uniform people pushed her into a room.

"Baby, we got lost, we couldn't find you." Eyeball said from the side of her bed/trolley.

"Is that ketchup on your mouth?" She asked him suspiciously.

"No." He answered quickly. Too quickly. But Sophie didn't notice, she was too preoccupied by the beginnings of another contraction, grabbing onto Eyeball's already 'crippled' hand.

When the contraction was over a doctor looked up her gown and said that she'd dilated. Me and Leggy shuddered at the same time.

We stayed in the delivery room, but near the door. But about twenty minutes into 'the giving of birth', Leggy decided to make our presence known:

"Push Sophie! Push! Push like your having a really big poo!"

Everyone in the delivery room, including myself, looked at Leggy in shock. A woman, who I guessed was the midwife, was the first to speak, "Will someone get her out of here?"

I volunteered and grabbed Leggy's arm, and dragged her out of there, into the corridor.

Note to Self:

Don't let Leggy near a jukebox in public.

Never eat cherry twists again. Ever.

Don't let Leggy go near a delivery room.

We went to the waiting room to wait…obviously. Leggy went to get us some coffee and I decided to go wash my face in the toilets. Not in the actual toilet but in the sink that's in the toilet room…yeah.

As soon as the door swung shut behind me tears began to fall. How could this be happening? How could the man I loved be with someone else? How could I stay in Castle Rock knowing that I could bump into him or even worse, her, at any given moment? I couldn't let that happen, I had to leave.

I marched over to the sink and washed my face and hands, wiping away the dirt and the tears.

When I re-emerged from the toilets, Leggy was in the waiting room, lazily flicking through a magazine, two small paper cups of coffee were on a small table with magazines and leaflets on it, in the centre of the room.

"Are you okay?" Leggy asked with concern as soon as I sat down.

I reached over for the cup of coffee, "Yeah." I lied.

"You don't look it." She said simply, tossing the magazine onto the table without knocking over her cup of coffee.

"I'm just a bit overwhelmed. That's all." I reassured her, taking a sip of my hot coffee.

"He's crazy for going out with that tramp. You're way prettier than her."

I just sighed in response.

#three hours later#

Waiting had become boring, so I and Leggy decided to play charades, much to the annoyance of the staff that kept walking past.

#another hour later#

The caffeine had gotten to Leggy after several cups of coffee:

"Do you think we could go and visit Shamus sometime? Isn't that a cool name? Shamus. Shamus Shamus Shamus Shamus. Wonder what we'd call our children… Maybe he'd wear a kilt on our wedding day! And there might be bag-pipes! We might even get married in Scotland – I might see ole Nessy, that crafty beast that – ooooo look a squirrel!" And with that she ran outside and chased a squirrel that she'd seen through the window.

#two hours later#

I had now read every magazine, leaflet and poster that was in that waiting room…twice. Leggy had not yet returned. I would have been worried but I was distracted by Eyeball, who was bursting through the door with a big smile on his face.

"Hey, how is she?" I asked, standing up from my seat.

"She's asleep. Do you want to come see the baby?"

"Yeah. That'd be great."

We began walking down the corridor, we didn't speak, Eyeball seemed to be filled with nervous energy. I guessed he'd be going out celebrating with the guys later on.

"So…boy or girl?" I asked as we turned yet another corner, I prayed that we weren't lost again.

"Girl, I was sort of hoping for a boy but…what ya goin to do huh?" He answered with a shrug.

"Thought of a name yet?"

"We talked about it before. I know Soph liked Lila so…I think we'll go with that."

"Lila…that's a pretty name. I like it."

We turned another corner to find Leggy talking to an old man in a wheelchair. He seemed frightened, you would be too. Not only did she already have the dust on her face from earlier but now she had an assortment of leaves and twigs sticking out of her hair. I walked over and grabbed her by the arm, the old man looked at me with a thankful glance.

When the three of us got to the baby-display thing, we looked through the glass where Eyeball was pointing to. There was Lila.

Eyeball, Leggy and myself stood there for quite some time before one of us spoke.

"Hey, I'm gona go ring the guys, okay? Be back soon." And with that eyeball left me and Leggy to admire baby Lila.

Well, I was admiring the baby, but as soon as Eyeball was out of earshot, Leggy leaned toward me and whispered, without taking her eyes off of the baby: "It doesn't look human."

I gently prodded her in the side.

Author's Note: This happened today, the day I'm posting this – 18th of Feb, I got this thing through the mail saying that one of my poems is going to be published in a book! Woo! And on another note my profile on that faceparty website is going to be put on my profile on here – I have a pic on it! You can see me! Woo!

Pip Pip – love all you guys! Remember the Captain Jack Sparrow Transformer now:D