Author's Note: I'm sorry. Really sorry. I finally dropped out of college. Now realizing it was a HUGE MISTAKE. And I don't want to get a job because the whole growing up thing terrifies me. So I'm unemployed and frequently depressed because I have nothing to do all day every day. But now, I've returned to my writing and am going to be doing it more and more often until I go back to college in September. Enjoy.

Chapter Twelve: What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor?

After myself and Leggy had moved from the porch into the lounge, we decided it would be better for me to wash my worries away with alcohol. Lots of alcohol. And Leggy concluded that it would be much better if she became drunk as well, so I wouldn't feel lonely…

Whatever.

#Two hours later#

Loud music, booze and the odd bar of chocolate was surprisingly all a girl needed when she was feeling low. And a friend of course to laugh and dance with. We started using our beer bottles as microphones and sang along to everything we knew, Leggy also incorporating her mad pelvic thrusting dance. I did the occasional air guitar (probably didn't exist back then…but now it does! Haha!) and out-of-tune crooning.

Nothing was in sync, but we didn't care. Leggy had adorned a scarf around her head so we could both be pirates, and not five minutes went by without something oh-so-cliché being said.

"'Ave at ye!" Followed by poking each other with breadsticks.

"Avast ye sea dogs!" Also more poking with breadsticks.

"Argh Polly!" With, poking of breadsticks near the face.

Okay…we had corny pirate phrases and too many breadsticks. But it had been worse earlier when we'd decided to build a house out of breadsticks using superglue. And I don't mean a miniature one. I mean a life size one.

Well, Leggy had said "six foot by six foot by six foot".

And I replied, "A six foot cube?"

And then she laughed before saying slowly, "Cube…" And then bursted out laughing all over again.

I'd looked at her for some time before saying anything, and then when I decided I didn't know what to say, I began building our breadstick house. We'd then become bored after doing two rows of the floor plan that made it about an inch high.

"Have we been here a whole day yet?" Leggy asked as we collapsed on the couch, peeling (with difficulty) dried on superglue off of our fingers.

"I think so," I replied going itching crazy on a big dried clump of superglue on my index finger, "Maybe a day and a half, maybe less."

Leggy nodded in response and I asked her why she wanted to know.

"We've not even been here a day and a half yet. And already we've managed to get shit-faced twice."

"We're not shit-faced. Shit-faced people don't know they're shit-faced."

She looked at me questioningly.

"Okay. Maybe we're a Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle shit-faced. But not much."

We sat silently, sipping beer.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked opening another beer.

"Mad dancing and madder singing?" Leggy said excitedly, sitting up.

I wooed in response and jumped up and turned on the radio. Half an hour later, we we're very much shit-faced.

And piratey…

Author's Notes: Very sorry for the shitty short chapter. But I want to leave it here because I'd started this about three weeks ago, and later that day, me and my boyfriend broke up. His parents got involved were saying all sorts of insulting things down the phone about me and my family. So I've been in a very very bad state for those three weeks. Sleeping on the couch. Passed out at the doctors because I hadn't been eating. My mom's had all this time off work. I'm hardly left alone. Cried practically every day. Even tried to have an overdose last week – but failed in a very ironic way – I can't swallow capsule tablets… So yes. Life has been very poo. But yesterday (yay!) Me and my ex met up, saw a movie and got back together. So I'm now all smiling and happy and we're very much loved up again. Just can't tell his parents because they'd freak and probably try and kill me… So a lot of updates are going to be happening. Going to try and get this and 'Ace Of Hearts' finished in a couple of months because I'm moving. Anyway. Sorry for the rant. Love you guys!