Two days following, Sirius still hadn't seen hide or hair of Harry and it was taking its toll on him. He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about Regulus's words. They made sense and it explained why they were fighting. They'd known for almost four months and not once had they just sat and talked about how much this baby would effect everything and how they'd handle it. You usually discussed these things first.

He felt extremely angry with Lily and James for doing this. How could they just decide that they were ready for children? The subject had never even come up until Harry had told him he was pregnant. What if it completely destroyed the marriage?

It's already done that stupid! If his conscience had to appear on his shoulder and the voice was anything to go by, it would look like Remus. This is his fault anyway. No, he argued with himself, he just warned him about it. They'd been fighting before that. Pangs of guilt and worry beat against his heart, the sound ringing in his ears.

Could it have been him saying Harry was like his mother have driven him away? Harry had made it clear from the beginning that he didn't like being compared to his parents. He'd threatened to dye his hair numerous times, but hadn't been pushed far enough to actually use the dark hairpotions that had been lying in the bathroom cupboard since the day after they'd gotten back from their honeymoon.

If I ever act like that shallow anorexic cow that I am forced to call mother, promise me Sirius, even at the slightest sign, you'll hold me down and pour this stuff over my head…

He chuckled at Harry's words and heard the door open, voices whispering. Without a second thought, he ran to the hallway and his heart leapt. Harry was there and behind him was Regulus, who closed the door and spotted Sirius first, muttering something to Harry, who turned and smiled.

Sirius ran up to Harry and enveloped him in a tight hug, which Harry returned just as happily.

"I was so worried about you. I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry!" Sirius sobbed and Harry was just as tearful as he nodded. Sirius looked at Regulus gratefully, who just gave a smile and wisely said nothing.

Once he was gone, they went upstairs and Harry dropped his bag on the floor and sat down on the bed. His eyes looked like he'd been crying a lot and from the way he slumped down, he looked exhausted. Sirius wondered briefly if it was because of him or the baby.

"I felt it kick yesterday." He said quietly. Sirius reached over to touch and Harry shook his head. Sirius pulled his hand back and frowned. "It hasn't done it again since, I think it's sleeping right now." His own hand rubbed the top of his stomach affectionately.

"I'm sorry about what I said."

"I needed the time to think anyway. It's not your fault I left."

"I never said it was my fault. It was uncalled for to just disappear like that."

"Yeah, well it's also uncalled for to compare me to my mother every time we argue, but I've never said anything."

"Look, this is not going right…"

"What gives you that idea?"

"Can't we just skip this and solve it the right way."

"And just what is the right way?" Sirius leaned forward and kissed Harry passionately and the younger man was soon lying flat on his back, his husband's hands working at his clothing.

"You realise sex doesn't solve the problems, just delay them."

"I know." Sirius panted and kissed him again. "But it'll help us both relax."

"So what are you going to do when you argue with the baby? Fuck it too?" Sirius stopped and looked at him in shock for a moment before slapping him hard across the face.

"How dare you! How dare you imply that I would do something so horrible?" Tears formed in Harry's eyes.

"I-I-I was just k-kidding." He said stunned and Sirius got off him before rolling over onto his side. "No need to make such a big deal of it." Sirius raised an eyebrow and turned his head to look at Harry before turning over to face him.

"You remember that night we got engaged." Harry nodded.

"We were lying on your bed in your flat drinking from one bottle of brandy…" He smiled at the memory.

"And we were talking about anything and everything." Harry nodded. "You remember we were asking each other questions?"

"Yeah, I remember that."

"And I wouldn't tell you my first time, no matter how much you begged." Harry nodded again and frowned. "It was my father." Sirius blurted out after a moment and the next thing he knew, he was sitting up had his head buried in his husband's neck and was sobbing loudly as Harry whispered to him and stroked his hair comfortingly.

"I'm sorry Harry, I'm really sorry." He whispered to him softly. "I should have been better, then it wouldn't have happened."

"It's not your fault, Sirius. If he was a paedophilic freak, nothing you could've done would have changed that."

"I got it because I couldn't stay out of detention longer than a week, and then I left Regulus with him, if he hadn't came to me, the same thing would have happened to him."

"But you stopped it Sirius, you got him away before that happened." Sirius just gave another sob and like Sirius had done to him on the kitchen floor four months ago, took his face in his hands. "You were just caught up in it."

"What if it's genetic? I don't know how to be a father or what they're supposed to do. What if I become like him and hit the three year old on the back of the head withthe dog-topped cane?"

"He hit you with it?"

"Regulus. He's still got the dents from the fangs." He shuddered.

"Well I don't know how to be a mother either. What am I supposed to do? Give the thing gender-switching potions if it's not what I want?" Sirius looked up into his face suddenly. "Now you know my secret as well."

"You're a woman?" Harry wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

"Would have been. She decided that the ballet wasn't enough. Lucky for me my father noticed the differences while changing me and was able to reverse it before it did too much damage."

"Too much? Why too much?"

"Why I've known I prefer men from the age of 10, why I look so much like her, why they were able to slip us the potion so easy."

"What does the baby have to do with it?"

"Usually it takes a series of different potions and a lot of operations to give a male the ability to have children, but they were able to do it in one potion."

"Why?"

"Because the inside damage was never repaired, the ovaries and uterus and everything that has formed is still there, it just needed the potion to, how would I say it, awaken, and give your, ahem, little swimmers, a way to get there."

"How do you know all this? I mean, surely you can't remember it from age three?"

"I asked her at sixteen to do the operations."

"Sixteen!" Harry laughed and shrugged.

"School seemed to have no point for me and I was in a serious relationship I thought was true love at the time."

"Oh? And she just told you all of this?" Harry nodded.

"Didn't seem remorseful or anything about it. Still believed that I should been given the rest of the potions."

"My god, she's crazier than I thought." Harry shrugged. "So you accepted it?"

"You're kidding right? She apologised three weeks later by giving me the potion."

"And what happened to that baby?"

"I never said there was a baby. You know I never did anything like that till, you know, we were married." Harry blushed and gave himan innocent little smile.

"So where's the potion then?" Harry hesitated for a moment before reaching into the neck of his robes and lifting out the chain he always wore. Instead of a charm, a tiny little phial with a bright neon green potion in, sealed tightly with an equally small cork, hung by his neck. Sirius's eyes widened.

"I told you'd find out what it was eventually..."

I doubt Sirius's crying is in character, but under the circumstances, I think it fits here. I don't think this will interest a lot of people, but the thing I love most about this story is the constrast between this Harry and The 'What Have I Done' Harry. If you've read the story you'll get what I mean... (Yeah, I'm self pimping, so?)

Anyway, I'm babbling. Thanks to the reviewers. Oh, and to LauryLynn who was anon so I can'tr reply. It's not ooc for Sirius to call Lily a mudblood. He was raised by dark wizards, so it's natural. And that flashback was orginally intended to show exactly why Sirius and James are not very good friends anymore...

Review please.