Before it Began
By. SkyQuill
Summary
James knew he was in love at first sight, but what would it take for Lily to love him back? Read their story leading up to their deaths and discover the dangers they faced and the loves and friendships they shared.
Disclaimer
I do not own most of the characters and places or anything else that may seem familiar. J.K. Rowling has the exclusive claim to this as well as the general plot that formed this fanfic.
Chapter 21: Icy Emotions
Lily hurriedly collected her things and apparated from the Ministry. It was the day after the Order had fought so vigilantly against the death eaters and Lily was exhausted. Getting about four hours sleep, worrying constantly about who the spy could be, thinking about Marlene's death and then awakening early for Auror training wasn't exactly the most revitalising energy one should achieve for a full day of work.
"James! I'm home!" Lily called loudly from the front door. An echoing silence seemed to rush through the house. Lily felt a tingle of fear run up her spine. "James?" she called again, this time a little more uncertainly.
"Oh no, " she groaned quietly, praying that he had just gone out, that everything was fine. Withdrawing her wand, she put down her bag and slowly moved towards the kitchen. She entered cautiously, her wand directly in front of her, wavering slightly. Please let everything be okay, please let him be fine. I don't know what I'd do if the death eaters took him from me...
Lily's frantic thoughts were interrupted by a loud banging. Lily jumped, her head nearing the ceiling. It felt as though she had suddenly plunged into a pool of ice water; the fear overwhelmed her and her breathing became quick and sharp. Desperately she struggled to remember what she had learnt in auror classes so far, Keep silent and steady. Have your wand ready at all times. Don't panic.
Lily let her mind focus on the last tip as she worked her way back to the front of the house and to the stairs. Fearful thoughts flooded her mind but she tried to keep from panicking. Ever so slowly, Lily crept stealthily up the stairs, 1 step, 2 step, 3 step...
She finally reached the landing with a relieved sigh but her fear returned almost immediatley. The master bedroom's door was closed so that if someone was waiting inside they would have the advantage, a thought that worried Lily. But she had to check the room, she had to make sure James was really out of the house and not being held captive by some violent death eater. Lily closed her eyes briefly, trying to summon every ounce of bravery she possessed. She opened her startling green eyes and took a deep breath, then stepped forwards and tapped the door knob with her wand. It unlocked with a seemingly loud click. Lily pushed and it opened.
"BOO!" shouted a loud voice. Lily rocketed upwards in a leap of terror. There was James Potter, laughing with such hilarity he seemed to notice little else. For a moment, Lily stood there, in stunned shock and then instict took over.
SMACK! Lily's hand collided hard against James' face, sending him to the ground.
"Ow, what was-" James began but Lily sent a violent hex his way. The stinging hex left a large welt across his arm, bright pink and painful.
"Lily!" James said in outrage, "I was-" But again he was cut off short. This time Lily had sent a bat-bogey hex his way, and it happened to be a very good one. Lily watched in fury as the black,leathery winged things attacked her fiance's face. For the first time since Hogwarts, Lily was absolutely enraged with James. Her breathing was deep and ragged as she waited for the curse to wear off.
When it finally did, all James could do was stare at her in shock, his face marked with deep gashes and bites. She stared back, feeling her angry welling up until she finally burst into tears. James opened his mouth to say something but Lily hd already wheeled around and was storming down the stairs. Without looking back, she tore out into the yard and apparated, leaving the door wide open to the chilly drafts.
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"Check Mate." Callidora announced grinning across the chess board. Cadence scowled back at her.
"That's not fair," she complained, "Those stupid pieces were telling me where to move them!"
"That's wizard's chess." Calli' said triumphantly. "If you don't like it don't play."
"Maybe I won't." Cadence retorted.
"That's what you always say."
"It is not-" Cadence began in defense but both girls were interrupted by a loud banging on the front door. Calli' blinked at Cadence,
"Is Sirius coming over or something? I don't remember making plans..."
"I dunno, "Cadence replied sounding equally surprised." Here i'll get it." Cadence hurried over to the door and peered through the eye hole. She quickly opened it. "Lily?" she exclaimed, "We weren't expecting you!"
"Lily what's the matter?" Calli' asked coming over to join her friends. Lily tried to choke out an answer but Cadence shook her head and led her to the sofa, closing the door behing them. For a moment the three of them sat there, the only noise being Lily's sobs.
"I-it's James!" she finally managed to choke out, covering her face with her hands.
"What's the matter?" Cadence asked alarmed, "You're not breaking up are you?" Lily just sobbed harder, causing her two friends to exchange worried glances.
"You are?" Calli' asked smally. Lily shook her head frantically and both girls breathed with relief.
"Then what's wrong Lily?" Cadence pressed gently, removing Lily's hands from her face. Lily peered up at them both from puffy red eyes.
"I came home." she began shakily. Callidora nodded encouragingly, listening intently. "And the house was dead quiet. I called for James but no one answered, and so I thought something was wrong."
"Is James okay Lily? Did the death eaters get him?" Cadence interrupted, looking quite scared. Lily's eyes seemed to blaze with anger,
"No. He's fine." she said shortly.
"Ok, Calli' said shooting Cadence a warning glance, "What happened next?"
"I-I went upstairs, "Lily continued, "And our bedroom door was closed so I opened it really nervously and-" She wailed into her hands again. "I hate him! The stupid immature, idiot!" Cadence looked confused by Lily's outburst but Calli' felt like she knew what must have happened then.
"He played a prank on you didn't he?" she concluded. Lily nodded, her face hard. A look of comprehension dawned on Cadence's face.
"That's horrible!" she exclaimed. Suddenly a thumping on the door awoke them all to reality. Lily stood up abruptly,
"If it's him, tell him i'm not here. Tell him you haven't seen me today at all okay?" Calli' frowned but Cadence nodded and jumped up again to get the door,
"Hurry, go hide yourself somewhere in my room. He'll never be able to find you there." Lily obliged, hastening down the hallway and to Cadence's room. She made to open the door but she only managed to get it half-way open before it jammed. She swore with frustration as she poked her head through and surveyed the scene.
Cadence's room was far messier then it had been before Lily had moved out. Lily had at least been able to convine her friend to keep it managable then, but now...
Clothes seemed to cover every inch of the carpet. Owl feathers, spare parchment and broken quills lay scattered across the floor and empty candy wrappes littered the area around the desk. Cadence's bed was unmade and her wardrobe was wide open, various cloaks, robes and objects spilling out of it.
"I'll be able to hide in here, but will I be able to get out?" Lily asked herself. But there was no time to contemplate for James' angry voice was now floating down the hallway. Lily squeezed inside the door and shut it quietly. She just managed to crawl under some clothes in the wardrobe when voices sounded right outside the door.
"I tell you she's not here." Callidora said impatiently. James seemed to be ignoring them and opened the door, or as much as it would open.
"Holy crap Cadence you actually sleep in here?" he asked incredulously.
"Yep." she answered proudly. James wrinkled his nose at some dirty laundry in a heap near his feet and backed out. He probably thought she wouldn't dare enter a place so messy, but then again Lily didn't think she would either! The door closed with a snap and Lily listened closely as the voices faded away.
"Well sorry for bothering you then. It's just, there was kindof an accident and I really need to talk to her. Tell her if you see her won't you?" James' voice asked. The girls must have nodded for Lily didn't here an answer. She waited a few minutes and then she heard the door slam shut. But Lily knew James, she closed her eyes and waited a few more moments and heard the door open and shit again. This time, Lily emerged, dusting the cauldron cake crumbs off her robes as she arose.
"He's gone Lils." Calli' informed her, opening the door and peeking her head in.
"Thanks." Lily replied relieved. Her face was still red and splotchy but she didn't feel as angry any more. Either Cadence's messy dwelling had a mysterious calming effect or hiding took up most of her concentration. Lily decided it was the latter.
"So what are you going to do now?" Cadence asked once they had all seated themselves back in the living room. Lily shrugged,
"I guess I could probably forgive him. As long as he apologizes soon. But it'll take me a while to get over this. He scared me so bad I though my heart would rip in two." Calli' nodded wisely,
"Perfectly understandable. Only don't forget, he can't apologize until he see's you." Lily sighed,
"I suppose. But I don't really feel like going back tonight-"
"We should have a girl's night!" Cadence exclaimed loudly. Lily and Calli' both winced before agreeing.
"I think that's a brilliant idea." Lily said smiling.
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James stomped moodily down the stairs from Cadence's and Callidora's flat. He had searched everywhere, the Longbottom's, his fellow marauders and now the apartment. He couldn't understand where Lily had gone and the thought made him feel guilty, mad, and utterly terrified.
He hadn't meant to scare her so bad. He had just wanted to play a little joke, that might have ended, had things not gone so terribly wrong, in a little snogging. James felt miserable with himself. Now Lily probably thought of him as she she did at Hogwarts for so many years. He couldn't bear to have her hate him. Although he didn't think it was a little over-dramatic to go and attack him like that. He wasn't sure his face would completely heal for the wedding, if there still was one...
James sighed depressedly and plunked himself down on a nearby bench. What if Lily got so upset she went and did something stupid? What if she's in trouble? God, why do I have to be such a prat sometimes? Bitter and worried thoughts tugged at James brain, giving him a pounding headache. Hours passed by and James didn't leave his perch on the small metal bench. The air slowly got colder as night approached and dark soon fell. Glumly, James glanced up and looked back at the flat. The small windows above the shop were lit up and glowing. He thought longingly of the warmth and shivered.
Was it just him or had it suddenly just gotten colder? He glanced up and down the street nervously but it appeared to be deserted. James felt to miserable to go home so he remained, his face getting slowly and slowly number in the cold. He was sure his hair must be coated in snow by now and he sub-conciously reached up to ruffle it. As he did so he felt a wave of terrible sadness well up inside of him.
He was watching as a fourth year Lily chucked a book at him and broke his jaw. A fifth year Lily was shouting at him as he dangled Snape in midair, it was Christmas break of sixth year and Lily had just slapped him. He was on the train ride home from Hogwarts and Lily had just poured the entire contents of her pumpkin juice on him. Lily was turning away from him, tears pouring down her face as she tore out of their house and into the snow...
James shuddered as an icy feeling overwhelmed him. Slowly he slipped off the bench and into the snow drift. He suddenly had the insane urge to curl up and die, lie still in the snow... He was so caught up in his own depressed thoughts he hardly registered the rattling sound nearby and a hooded shape lowering it's face to him...
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" a familiar voice yelled. James looked up weakly and dimly saw her figure, illuminated by the shining silver light of a ghostly looking cat. But no, it couldn't be...
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"Whatever happened Ms. Evans?" an unsmiling, curly haired witch asked. Lily who stood beside her friends and the marauders in a small ward at St. Mungo's answered timidly,
"We found him out in the snow. He was being attacked by a dementor and so I sent it off with a Patronus but he'd already passed out." she said tearfully, "He'll be alright won't he?"
"Yes, yes." the witch said preoccupied with a patient in the next bed, "Just a small thing called Hypothermia by muggles. Nothing we can't cure with a simple Pepper Up potion. The more important thing is however that this dementor attack be reported to the Ministry at once."
"I've already seen to it." Remus informed the healer. Lily tried to manage a grateful smile but it came out more like a grimace.
"Good." the healer said, "Now i'll leave you here until he wakes up. You, (she gestured at Lily) can stay with him tonight. The others have to leave before ten thirty. We'll be keeping him over night for observation. There's nothing seriously wrong with him all though i'm still confused as to where he got all those scratches." Lily nodded numbly and took James' hand in hers. It was ice cold.
Sirius conjured up some chairs and helped Lily into one. He then sat down with the others and they waited. Lily noticed that Callidora and Remus were sitting well apart. She shot Calli' a curious glance and her friend mouthed back, 'We broke up this afternoon.' Lily gaped and mouthed back, 'What for?' None of the others noticed their silent conversation so Calli' leaned over and whispered,
"Nothing, we just don't seem to have the right chemistry."
"That's too bad." Lily whispered back but Calli' merely shrugged and leant back. Peter looked at them curiously but thankfully kept his mouth shut.
It was a few more hours before James finally awoke. As his eyes fluttered open Lily leant forwards and placed her lips upon his; all earlier traces of anger had vanished.
"Lily?" came the muffled question. She reluctantly broke away to look into his eyes. A quick glance behing her showed her that the others had left, to give them a bit of provacy.
"Yes?" she answered smiling. He looked throughly confused. An awkward silence followed.
"I'm really sorry about earlier, I had no clue it would affect you that way." he mumbled quietly.
"Shh, it's okay. Just, just don't do it again. You scared me so bad. And i'm sorry for er, attacking you." Lily replied sheepishly. James grinned at her which she tentatively returned.
"I love you." he whispered. Lily laughed at the guilty expression on his face, she knew he was still trying to make up for earlier.
"I love you too." she replied, climbing up on the bed at his request. She snuggled under the covers beside him and curled up. He put an arm around her waist and kissed her lightly on the lips. She smiled as she kissed back and then broke away. With a last warm smile between the two of them, Lily waved her wand, causing the candles to go out and both of them fell promptly asleep.
Author's Note: This chapter was actually spontaneous. I hadn't planned anything like this for the plot but it sortof just came. I actually wrote this chapter really easily, it just all seemed to fit so right. Anyways I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.Please review:)