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All notes disclosed in chapter one

June 30, 1998

Conflitti

Anyone who saw her face at the mention of Fox Mulder's name would have known she was in love with the man. Anyone asking her if she was in love with Fox Mulder, she would have immediately denied it.

Mulder came down to her morgue office everyday. Mostly they spent the time in her office talking but sometimes the ventured out to lunch together.

Dana listened patiently one day as he told her his side and what really happened that horrible night in November all those years ago when he lost his sister. She proved incredible to him again when she didn't judge him or turn against him. She still continued to speak to him day after day. She encouraged him to remember and share stories from the good days of his life, the times he was happy and carefree. He encouraged her to tell him embarrassing stories about herself, both laughing all the while.

He was a wonderful man. She loved spending time with him. He was incredibly intelligent, funny, kind, and, she could no longer deny, unbelievably handsome.

Yeah, on some level she loved him. She could admit that to herself… barely.

So why did she hear herself saying no when he asked her out on a date?

"… I won't stop asking until you say yes," Mulder pursued.

But she continued to bustle around her office, trying to look as busy as possible.

"I just don't think we should," she told him, trying not to focus on how close he was. "If anything were to happen… us getting involved…"

"Who said anything was going to happen? It's just dinner. If anything does happen; well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it and honestly, I hope we do."

"Mulder…" He moved closer to her. He put his hand on top of hers, stopping the shaking her hand was doing. He held it in his gently, noting how perfect their hands fit together. He admired her lighter complexion on his darker one.

"Mulder…" she repeated, faltering at the fire she felt coursing her body at his touch. She had butterflies in her stomach but she managed barely to complete her sentence, "I have to get back to work."

He squeezed her hand and tilted her chin up so he could look in her eyes. His eyes pleaded with her as his lower lip slipped into a pout. "Please."

Her eyes were glued to his, her heart beating faster at the tone of his voice. And that lip… why hadn't she noticed that before?

She sighed in frustration and had to look away again at the depth of his gaze.

"Where'd you learn to be so persuasive like this?"

He was smiling wide when she looked at his again. "It's a gift. Was that a yes I heard?'

She shot him a look, trying to look angry but not passing it off. She heaved a sigh again and replied timidly, "Yes."

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you," he teased.

"Yes," she said louder, looking him in the eye.

"Good, will you ever let me pick you up?'

"Yes."

"Good," he said again. He released her hand reluctantly. "I'll pick you up at seven thirty. Dress casual."

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Nervosi

Dana held up another shirt against her frame but quickly set it back down. She'd already changed outfits four times and she still didn't think she looked good.

She caught the sight of her alarm clock, panicking when she saw how close to seven thirty it was. Then she saw it. A blue button down shirt that was perfect to go with her dark slacks that she knew were form fitting. They could be cutting off her circulation and she still wouldn't care. She just wanted to look good.

She didn't have time, nor did she want to fix up her shoulder length hair. She ran her fingers through it a few times to give it that look she liked. She made sure her make-up was perfect, not too much but definitely not too little.

She heard the knock on her door as she was going for her favorite boots with the heels she loved. She made a quick grab for them and hurried to the door. She ran her fingers through her hair one more time, hastily putting on her shoes as well. She took a deep breath to calm the butterflies in her stomach before turning the door knob.

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Comprensibile

"you gonna stare all night or are we going to order?'

"I'm not staring."

"Yes, you are."

"I can't help it. You should know that by now."

Dana glanced away to her menu. "Doesn't mean I have to get used to it," she muttered. Mulder could still hear her, though. He ordered quickly for them both, eager to be alone with her.

They sat close together at a table at a favorite Italian restaurant of his. It had a romantic atmosphere he'd always liked, with tables in strategic places to give customers their privacy.

He took her hand in his. "I want to thank you for giving me this chance tonight."

"Why'd you wait a month before asking me out?" she asked, watching his fingers toy with hers.

"Wasn't sure you'd want to," he admitted. "I spent most of the month psyching myself up."

"Just because others don't like being around you doesn't mean I feel the same way.

The way she said it made him realize how serious she was, how serious she'd always been. Still, a person wanting to spend time with him was a foreign concept.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me."

She squeezed his hand. She'd seen him get down on himself about things in his life over the last month but she was always quick to bring him back to reality, back to her.

"You know what I've been dying to ask you?" he said next.

"What?'

"Why did you choose pathology?"

Dana leaned back in her chair, a faint smile on her lips. "Do you know how many people have asked me that in the last eight years?"

"Only your entire family, people close to you, and others who occasionally inquire," he guessed. "But I bet none have asked for the same reason I have."

"That's probably true. Most people think I did it to spite them or for lack of a better offer. But I really chose it because someone once told me a pathologist is a victim's last voice. I wanted to help their story be told and their tragedy to be avoided. I want to help solve puzzles and crimes that stump police and some FBI agents."

"I hope that's not directed at me," he teased with a smile.

She picked up on it. "No, I've heard your solve rate. Very impressive."

He ignored her comment. "I'm glad you're in pathology. A woman's perspective is what the FBI needs. I know I'm grateful for your view."

"It's nice to know someone appreciates me."

"I take it others don't like listening to a woman?"

She shook her head. "No, they don't like when a woman tells them otherwise. So when I prove them wrong, I get a real thrill."

Mulder chuckled, his deep tone warming her entire body. She wasn't even aware he was holding her hand anymore. They felt connected as one. She definitely liked the feeling.

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Baci buona notte

Mulder reached over and grasped Dana's hand for what seemed like the millionth time that night. She certainly wasn't complaining though.

They were walking down the sidewalk to her apartment; she'd broken down and let him walk her to her door. There was a gentle breeze in the warm air. The streets were virtually empty, even for the early hour.

"Oh, okay, I got one," Mulder said suddenly. "Past lives."

"On some level, I believe in past lives," she admitted.

"What about soul mates?" he urged on. "Two people destined to be together, even throughout time. In life after life, they continue to find each other. It's fate."

Dana got out the key to unlock the apartment building's door.

"I only semi believe in soul mates. It's a little too… clichéd for me," she explained to him. "Besides, having a past life doesn't mean you can only be human. You can be anything from a rock to… to an animal to a human."

"Animals are monogamous, too."

"Mulder…"

"Not all of them, though. And who's to say objects such as trees or rocks don't actually have feelings?"

She sighed. "Mulder, shut up."

He chuckled but did as she asked. They rode up in the elevator in silence, only the hum of the elevator and their gentle breathing audible. His fingers played with hers, his mind working overload to think of a way to expand the evening. He was enjoying his time with her outside of work. She was the woman he was looking for but didn't even realize it. She was extremely intelligent, funny, caring, giving, and she didn't judge him like he thought she would. Really, it was just an added bonus that she was extremely attractive.

"I don't know that I believe in fate, either," he heard her mutter when the elevator doors opened to her floor.

"I'll have to convince you sometime," he muttered back to her.

They strode slowly to her door, unconsciously perhaps. Finally she spoke of the evening.

"I had a really nice time tonight."

"You say that like you expected it to be bad."

"Mulder…"

He put his arm around her shoulders. "Relax, I'm just teasing. I had a really nice time, too."

She stopped in front of her door, turning to face him. "I'm glad you finally asked me out."

"Then why'd it take persuasion for you to say yes?"

She looked him in the eye. "I was shocked; I had to make sure it wasn't a dream."

He leaned closer to her, his face close to hers. "It's not a dream."

Her eyes glanced down to his lips, focusing there. It wasn't the first time she'd done it that night. He saw her do it, thinking the same thing she was.

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered in the close proximity. She nodded slowly, her eyes slowly moving up his face. All thoughts vanished when his lips touched her. She couldn't even remember her name.

His hands left hers and moved to her waist. He pulled her closer to him even as he heard a voice telling him to go slow. He could feel her hands go around his waist, keeping him just as close. Before he could get swept up any further, he pulled away. Her face was red with a healthy flush. Her chest was heaving, her lungs gasping for air. Her lips were moist and swollen. She looked just about how he felt.

"I, uh," he cleared his throat but the husky sound stayed, "I'd better say good night before you think I'm not a gentleman."

"You'll always be a gentleman to me," she smiled. Slowly she turned and slipped the key in the lock. She was more hesitant in actually unlocking it, though. She turned back around to face him, the look on her face unmistakable.

He kissed her on last time, his fingers caressing her cheeks.

"Good night, Dana."

She resisted the urge to call him back as she watched him walk away.

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continued in next chapter