Before it Began

By. SkyQuill

Summary

James knew he was in love at first sight, but what would it take for Lily to love him back? Read their story leading up to their deaths and discover the dangers they faced and the loves and friendships they shared.

Disclaimer

I do not own most of the characters and places or anything else that may seem familiar. J.K. Rowling has the exclusive claim to this as well as the general plot that formed this fanfic.

Chapter 34: I Don't Want to Lose You

"Crucio." Voldemort said, his cold voice alit with malice. James couldn't muffle the scream that escaped him as pain beyond pain engulfed him. Minutes passed...minutes he could not recall in his agony, and he soon found himself, face down on the wooden floor. His body ached and his head was throbbing. Why did they stop...?

Daring a glance up, James saw both Voldemort and the death eater staring at the opposite side of the room. Voldemort was grinning, almost maniacally. In his eyes were pure glee. Frightened of what he might see, James forced his neck to turn and as he saw the object of the Dark Lord's attention, he felt his heart plummet.

Lily stood in the doorway like a startled deer; her viridian eyes were wide with shock and her mouth agape with horror. As James gazed at her frightened expression he couldn't help but let a wave of utmost helplessness wash over him. Everything he loved...everything he lived for was Lily and the soon to be baby.

"Excellent," Voldemort said, his voice eager with anticipation. "You fools who love are so easy to lure...hurt, and trap." Lily did not dare move as the evil wizard spoke, but her grip tightened on her wand. James staggered to his feet with difficulty. Neither Voldemort or the death eater made a move to stop him. Both looked exceptionally pleased with the situation, even moreso then was normal.

"Let her go." James said between his clenched teeth. Panting hard and still bleeding from the scrap on the stairs, he waited for Voldemort's response. It came in the form of a high-pitched laugh of mirth.

"When I have such luck? Double luck, I may add." he sneered. "No. You two have fled like cowards long enough, tonight, I finish this. Your child will never know life." James felt a fury grip him, an unfamiliar emotion except the brief pangs he had experianced during his days of torturing Snape. He refused to let them harm Lily.

"James..." came a small voice, positively quivering with fear. Lily looked positively faint as she continued to maintain her postition in the doorway. Despite her fear, something glittered in her eyes...determination?

"Lily, run." James said firmly, raising his wand, preparing to do everything in his power to block Voldemort's path to her. The death eater made to move forwads, but Voldemort raised a pale, hand to halt his actions.

"Let us see what he does." he spoke in a clearly amused tone. James glanced at Lily who had refused to move. He felt a prickle of impatience, quickly stifled but more intense fear.

"LILY! Go!" he shouted, his slightly panicked voice echoing across the spacious room.

"No." she replied, striding forwards. She pointed her wand forwards and took aim, "I'm not going to leave you."

"But the baby..." James muttered weakly as she came to stand by his side. She shook her head resolutely and swore at Voldemort. James clearly had no other choice, but that didn't mean he couldn't protect her to the best of his ability.

"Cruci-" Voldemort began to say but a bright blue jet of light from Lily's wand shot right at his head and he broke off his spell in order to concentrate on avoiding it. His head out of the way, the curse slammed into a desk behind them and evaporated into dust. Lily look furious, a fierce determination gleaming in her eyes now. She didn't have emotion to spare for fear.

With a slashing movement, the death eater and now came at James, just as Voldemort went for Lily. Though he would have preferred it the other way around, James could not afford to dwell on the issue as he fired curse after curse upon the death eater. Narrowly dodging a vicious cutting hex, James bellowed,

"Sectumsempra!" The death eater was too slow to block it after having wasted time witht he wand movement required for the previous slashing hex. Immediatly, long gashes split his robes and blood spurted from his torso. He went down with a pained scream and a triumphant James, hurried to where Voldemort and his wife were duelly so fiercly, neither seemed to be making any headway.

Wand moving so fast it was a blur, Lily barely managed to duck Voldemort's last curse before James went barrelling into him. Though it was not one of his brighter ideas, it did give James a feeling of satisfaction to hear the crack of skull on stone as Voldemort's head bashed into the wall.

"James!" shrieked Lily, her pretty face terrified as Voldemort recovered in barely half a second. Without a word, Voldemort whipped his wand and James spun around, so that his back would recieve the blow. Immediately pain exploded down his spine, and bright white dots appeared in his vision. As he collapsed face first onto the cool, wooden floor he heard the light tinkle of glass as his glasses shattered.

Above him he heard Voldemort's cruel laughter again, and Lily's frantic sobs. A desire to keep fighting despite being near unconciousness, or even death swept over him and once more he attempted to struggle to his feet. He was saved of this most pain-staking endeavour however when a familiar voice rang across the room.

Hope gave new life to him as James saw the dim outline of Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Frank Longbottom and Albus Dumbledore charging across the wreckage which was the auror's office.

"OI!" Sirius bellowed, followed by a more crude statement. James was dimly aware as his old headmaster brushed past him, long robes billowing as he took over the duel with Voldemort. Within seconds he felt Lily's hand in his as Sirius and Remus helped him get to his feet.

"Lily!" James said hoarsely, collapsing into her arms. She hugged him with her teary eyes.

"Why did you send the patronus?" she asked, her voice still wavering. Remus and Sirius both looked at James curiously, their eyes occasionally darting warily to where Dumbledore and Frank were trying to subdue Voldemort.

"I didn't..." James stuttered weakly, "I m-mean I did, but I was under the Imperius curse." Lily opened her mouth to reply but a deafening crashing noise brought all their attention back to the present.

Dumbledore had been sent flying to the floor and Frank into a desk as Voldemort apparated. Both lay relatively still for a moment before regaining their footing.

"Lily, James..." Dumbledore muttered, hurrying over to them. "Are you all right?" Lily shrugged but James was too weak to answer. Dumbledore studied him keenly for a moment before taking out his wand and beckoning for him to lie down.

"I can fix this." he said gently. He murmured something under his breath and the tip of his wand glowed orange. Dumbledore then proceeded to run it over the length of his back while the other's watched with bated breath.

It was as though waking up from a bad dream. James's concious became clearer and clearer as each wound was healed and before long, he felt completely normal except for the occasional minor aches and pains.

"Reparo." Remus muttered, instantly repairing James's glasses.

"Thanks." he said gratefully as he stood up again. Lily cast him a worried glance but did not speak.

"We had better leave." Dumbledore said with a sigh. "The minister will be down here shortly, and you'd be better off at home resting then attempting to explain this."

"But what about the other death eaters?" James asked.

"We've got them all, mate." Sirius said clapping him on the back. James winced. "Mad-eye and the others are keeping watch over them now."

"But why was no one else at the ministry?" Lily asked in mild confusion. "Workers, I mean."

"Gone home." Dumbledore answered with another weary sigh. "Someone tipped off the minister that the death eaters might be planning to attack the ministry and so he evacuated the place. Then he took to hiding in his office. He seemed to think it would be more safe then his own home, and I have to say, he's quite right. The enchantments guarding his office are much stronger, though i'm sure they would not have held had Voldemort taken to breaking through it."

"But how did you know to come?" Lily asked. "I mean, Alice and I came here because of the patronus..."

"Alice ran into us," Remus explained, gesturing to himself, Sirius and Frank. "We were losing the fight against the death eaters, but she had the sense to go back and send a patronus to Dumbledore and the others."

"So it was all just a ruse to get into the ministry then?" James clarified.

"Indeed it was." Dumbledore agreed. "The death eaters do not know the location of the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, nor were they planning to attack Somerset. It would seem I was correct in my suspiscions."

"So that's it then. He failed." Lily mused sounding slightly skeptical. Dumbledore smiled at her,

"Thanks to you, Alice, James and the others. Had you not fought so hard against Voldemort, he may have had time to move on. And Lily, James, Frank...I am sorry that you had to be caught up in this. I know it isn't quite the appropriate time to be duelling death eaters."

Frank and James nodded wordlessly.

"Right." Lily said quietly. A moment's silence followed this, until Frank finally broke it.

"Shall we head home then?" Frank asked uncertainly. Dumbledore bowed his head,

"Certainly. And I shall make sure you are not called on again for missions. Tonight was a closer call then I would wish to admit." he said gravely.

"Take care." Lily said softly as she and the others prepared to apparate. Without speaking, they somehow all intuitively agreed to apparate to the same place. Seconds later, she, James, Sirius, Remus and Frank were standing in the living room of the Longbottom's place. Alice and Peter were already there, waiting anxiously, accompanied by Cadence and Callidora, as well as Callidora's boyfriend, Kenneth.

"Hi." Lily said with a faint smile. Cadence and Calli' shrieked with apparant relief and threw their arms around her neck.

"Oh Lily!" Cadence wailed.

"Are you alright?" Callidora asked, eyes wide with worry. She then rounded on James, "And you, is everything okay?" James nodded wearily and sank into the sofa. Lily joined him a moment later, and before long, everyone had taken to sitting.

"What happened?" Cadence asked breathlessly. "Alice told us some...but she said...well..." Cadence glanced hopefully at the others, seeking their support.

With some reluctance, Lily, James, and Sirius told the main parts of the story, occasionally assisted by Remus, Frank and Alice.

"And he just disapparated?" Kenneth asked in wonder as they finished the retelling. Lily nodded,

"He must have been overwhelmed what with Dumbledore and us lot."

"Yeah..." Alice mused. Silence fell upon the group as each considered their own thoughts. Callidora sat in Kenneth's arms as he absent-mindedly played with her hair. Cadence and Sirius were sitting side by side, Cadence's eyes following the dancing flames in the fireplace while Sirius had his head rested on his hands. Remus and Peter sat quietly, staring into nothingness. Alice had her head rested on Frank's shoulder. Nobody seemed to know what to say.

"We'd better go home." James said after a long while. The others nodded mutely. Everyone seemed to be still shocked about the night's events and what could have happened. Lily quickly hugged her friends in farewell before apparating with James back to her own home.

000

At home, both Lily and James prepared for bed, still not speaking. It wasn't until they were both lying in bed that James spoke.

"Why didn't you listen to me?" he asked in a peculiarly, high sounding voice. Lily frowned, and rolled over so that she could face him. He was, however, staring at the opposite wall.

"I wasn't going to abandon you." she replied, a slight edge in her voice.

"You wouldn't have been abandoning me," James said firmly. "You'd have been getting to saftey."

"James!" Lily exclaimed in exasperation. "He would have killed you!"

"Don't be selfish!" James snapped, finally turning to face her. His hazel eyes glinted with frustration. "You have more to consider here, then just what you want!" Lily was at a loss for words.

"Wha-?" but James pressed on,

"What about the baby? Would you have risked everything? It was two lives for one Lily, and you know it!"

"James wh-" but again, James cut her off.

"I care too much about you and the baby. Doesn't it matter what I think, doesn't it-" he said, his voice getting louder and louder but this time, Lily cut him off.

"SHUT UP!" she roared, leaping to her feet. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

"Don't I?" James asked testily, also getting to his feet. "That was just plain selfish-"

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME SELFISH!" Lily shrieked, her famed temper flaring. "Who's had to deal with you running off everywhere on those dumb missions while I wait, bearing YOUR child, not knowing if i'll ever see you alive again? Who has to worry that she could be left widowed with a child that might never know his father? I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU JAMES!"

Both she and James paused here, breathing heavily and they glared at each other. Lily's eyes immediatly filled with tears but she did not apologize.

"I'm sorry." James finally said. "I didn't-I don't-It's just-"

"I know." Lily said, her voice quieting down. "I'm worried too though." James moved around the bed to hug her. She swept her bangs out of her face and twisted so that she was looking directly into his eyes.

"Promise me you'll never leave me?"

"I promise." James murmured, still holding her with all the love in the world.

Author's Note: It would seem that i'm on a roll. That's three chapters in less then a week for me:) These last few chapters have just been so surprisingly easy to write. They just come naturally.

Also, there is now a forum up and running for this story. To go there, please go to my author's page and click on 'My Forums'. Please stop by if you have the time.

Anyhow, it's getting ever nearer to a very exciting segment in the story. The next few chapters will definitely be the starting of it, so I hope you'll keep reading. Anyways please drop a review if you have a moment, thanks. ;)