Summary: JJ. She let herself fall for him, even though he was with someone else.
Author's Note: Some dialogue is taken from episode 4.22
Disclaimer: Don't own a thing.
Because She Cares
Chapter Two: I Long For You
His days were now empty of anything other than grief. After a while, the familiar sound of the bell ringing above the door, stopped causing his stomach to flip in anticipation. He stopped waiting at the counter late at night, hoping for a certain someone's arrival. He stopped re-filling the coffee pot every chance he could, just in case she came back in a hurry. He no longer expected to see her walking towards the diner.
Lorelai wouldn't be coming to see him.
Nicole wouldn't be coming to see him.
One was trying her best to avoid the situation, failing miserably, mind you. The words, 'I want to be with you', replayed over and over again in her head, causing a mild bit of nausea. Avoiding him, avoiding what happened, was causing her to lose her best friend. Work was hectic, her parents were more psycho than ever, and she was seeing her daughter less and less as the days passed. She continually blamed herself for this awkward avoidance, but she didn't have the courage to face him. She was afraid of what he might say. This avoidance, although it was killing her, was best for them, she thought.
The other was busy starting a life with another man, a man she had previously been seeing on the side. It didn't matter that she had cheated and hurt someone she once 'cared so much' about. He'd move on. He'd get over her. So, she boxed up his very few belongings and placed them on the diner steps. She walked away without the slightest hint of guilt. Once the Star's Hollow sign was out of sight, he was dropped like dirt. He would no longer exist in her thoughts or dreams, only in her rarely recalled memories.
- - -
three weeks since their last encounter-
Lorelai was in Doose's, searching for a bag of chocolate chips. She had just entered the next aisle, when she noticed him.
Luke was standing there, his eyebrows furrowed and his forehead wrinkled, clearly struggling to find something.
Normally, Lorelai would offer to help him out, but given the circumstances, that wasn't really an option. She decided it was a good idea to just pretend she didn't see him. She slowly made her way into another aisle, and continued to do so cautiously as she turned into others, gathering her Movie Night snacks.
Peanut M&M's always had a way with side-tracking Lorelai, and as she placed them in her basket, rounding the corner, she slightly bumped into the man she least wanted to.
Her eyes widened in surprisement, "Luke."
"Oh, Lorelai... Sorry, I didn't see you there."
"No, no, it was my fault. I was just, uh, staring at these M&M's here, you know, trying to figure out what the M's stand for... and I came up with nothing, well, that makes sense, I mean there's Mouthwatering and Munchy, and... Mini and... Marvelous, but other than that I'm completely blanking out, you know?" She's embarrassed by her rambling and quickly changes the subject, "What's new, anything?"
"Mars and Murrie."
"Huh?"
"Mars and Murrie, that's what M&M stands for."
"Oh, Mars and Murrie, wow, that's so much better than Mouthwatering and Munchy."
"They were the guys that originally owned the company."
"My most puzzling question is now answered. Thankyou." She laughed awkwardly, he just nodded his head.
They stood there for what seemed like forever, eyes focused on unimportant things, and thoughts focused on rushing out of there. Similar to what a sane person would do, she decided to strike a more normal conversation, "So... how are... things?"
After a moment of uncomfortable shifting, Luke too spoke, "Uh - good, good."
"I haven't been in the diner for a while." she points out.
He spoke a bit sternly, "Three weeks."
"Right. Three weeks." She pauses for a moment. "I was going to come, I've just been really busy, and-"
"Yeah, no problem." A second awkward silence arose, screaming the words pathetic and ridiculous.
"So... The Inn's opening soon. Next week, actually."
"Oh, that's great."
"Yeah... it's weird, you know? It went by so fast... all the construction and planning and stress..." Luke just nodded. "You know, we're having a test run this Saturday. Our friends are coming to stay the weekend... some family... You and Nicole can come if you like."
"Me and... Nicole?"
"Mhm."
"Well, I don't know if-"
"You don't have to. I know it's probably not you're thing-"
"No, it's not that." She looked at him, a confused expression on her face, "Well, Nicole and I - she and I... aren't uh - together... anymore."
"What?"
"We broke it off about two weeks ago."
She was nervous to ask, "Why?"
Luke hesitated before speaking. "She was uh - seeing someone, while we were-"
"She cheated on you?" She didn't mean to sound as angry as she did.
"Yeah, I kind of got a first hand view of the whole thing... walked in on them." It was clear he was embarrassed.
"Oh, my God. Luke, I'm so sorry."
"Yeah, well..."
"I - I can't believe that."
"Finalize the divorce papers tomorrow."
"So you're - you're getting a divorce?"
"Well, there's no reason to stay married... not much of a marriage in the first place, huh?"
He must be going out of his mind, she thought, as she watched him stand there in his self-consciousness. He was trying his best to act as if he didn't have a care in the world, but she knew that Nicole hurt him. The hurt shown through his eyes when she spoke again, "I'm sorry."
"You already said that."
"Well, I am. I'm really, really sorry."
"I'm just trying to forget the whole thing."
"Yeah, I get that." she pauses for a moment, "Well, I have to get-going. Rory will be here soon. I haven't seen her in a while, so we're just catching-"
"Yeah, I have to go too."
"Oh, okay, well... I'll see you later?" He just nods and watches as she pays for her things.
He's happy to see her turning around before walking out the door, "My invitation still stands. Just let me know if you want a room at the inn."
"Yeah... I'll call you."
A smile tugged at her lips, "Alright. Bye, Luke."
"Bye."
Lorelai was frantically pacing her foyer, softly mumbling things and carelessly dropping the Doose's bag on the floor. "This is... good. Well, it's not really good. But it's... okay. They're not together. They broke up..." This strange manner confused Rory, and when she sat up on the couch, Lorelai's hand immediately went to her heart as she screamed in terror, "Ah! Oh, God! Rory! You scared me to death!"
"Do I resemble Jack Nicholson or something?"
"What are you doing here?"
"We're having a movie night..." she answers, an obvious tone in her voice.
"Yes, a movie night. Right now, it's day and-"
"It's 7:00."
"Well... it's still light out!"
"I don't even know how to respond to that..."
Rory shown her mother a weird look as she picked up the bag of food and began to set it on the coffee table. Lorelai quietly followed. "So, are you going to tell me what you were going through when you got here? Or should I just go in the closet and let you continue?"
"What are you talking about?" Rory just gave her a stern look. "Rory, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Ah, I'm gunna have to force it out of you, huh?"
"Do all the forcing you want, it's not going to make a difference."
"So you're not going to tell me?"
"No, I'm not."
"But there is something to tell?"
"I suppose... maybe..."
"You sure you don't want to tell me?" She plopped unto the couch, popping an M&M in her mouth. Lorelai sat down beside her, "I don't know... it doesn't even make sense."
Rory could tell something was wrong.
Lorelai let out a long sigh before leaning against the back of the couch, "I think I might like Luke."
"What, you mean, like him, like him?"
"Maybe."
"Wha- How? I mean, when did you-"
"You know the other night, when we got in that argument over Nicole?"
"You mean the reason why I have to get your coffee every morning?"
"Yes."
"Yes..."
"Well, I didn't exactly tell you the whole truth."
"This doesn't involve you having to get into the Witness Protection program, does it?"
"We almost kissed."
"What? You and Luke?"
"Yes."
"The two of you were fighting, and then you almost kissed?"
"Yes."
"Well, what does that mean?"
"What?"
"You said you almost kissed."
"I just... I don't know... we were there and we were about to... and then I remembered Nicole... I remembered that he was married..."
"Oh, no."
"I just... he was rambling about not wanting to be with her, he said he wanted to... be with me, but I just... I couldn't take it. So I left."
"What? Mom, why would you do that?"
"I didn't know what to say... I was confused... everything happened so fast." she sighed, "And I've been thinking about it for the last three weeks, and... I want to be with him too..."
"But he's married..."
"Well, no, he's not." Rory gave her a puzzling look. "I just ran into Luke at Doose's and, I mean, it was the first time I even looked at him in weeks. And he said that he and Nicole are getting divorced."
Her eyes widen, "What?"
"He's finalizing the papers tomorrow."
"Is it because of you?"
"That could have been part of it, but I guess she was cheating on him."
"Oh, wow, poor Luke."
She nodded sadly, "I know."
Rory's expression suddenly changed, "Okay, whoa, this is Luke."
"I know."
"Our Luke - the town Luke. We see him every day. He's a part of our lives."
"I know."
"I mean, everyone will know. They'll know if you're together, they'll know if you're not together."
"I know."
"You can't just date Luke. When you're with Luke, you are with Luke. And if it doesn't work out, it will be really bad for both of us. I mean, how do you feel about this? Do you want to be dating Luke?"
"Okay, we're getting ahead of ourselves here. I don't even know if this is what he's thinking-"
"What do you mean you don't know what he's thinking? You said he almost kissed you. You said he said he wanted to be with you!"
"Well, I don't know. I mean, it's been weeks, he could have changed his mind, or - or I dunno. I just... don't know how he feels."
"Well, you should talk to him."
"He said he would call me. I don't know when, but he said he would."
"I can't believe this."
"Is it totally weirding you out?"
"No, no. I just - I never thought you would be with Luke!"
"Well, I'm not with Luke. Yet. I mean, I hope I am. I just-"
"Oh, this is so cute. You're already scrambling for words over the mention of his name."
"I am not scrambling for words - I just - I've never felt like this. About Luke."
Rory smiled, "Is it a good feeling?"
"Try terrifying."
TBC