A/N: The title is from Ani Difranco's double album Reckoning/Reveling.

Disclaimer: The usual bowing down to Jo because I'm not as brilliant as her and I don't want to deal with lawyers—otherwise known as: It's all hers.

"and who
ever said that life is suffering
i think they had their finger on the pulse of joy
ain't the power of transcendence
the greatest one we can employ" -Ani Difranco, "Shroud"

Chapter Seven

Reckoning/Reveling

"It's my fault."

Hermione looked up at George's statement. He had broken the silence that had hung over the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione ever since they had handed Fred over to the healers at St. Mungo's. He was alive, but they were not sure if he would ever wake up. Hermione looked at Ron; his freckles stood out on his paler than usual skin. Everyone was still in their wedding attire, giving them a sad beauty.

"It's no one's fault," said Charlie.

"He wouldn't be here if hadn't been protecting me—because I got bloody distracted and left myself open. Each of our attackers hit Fred with a different curse at the same time! He can't die! Where is that bloody Healer?" he asked as he looked around, looking lost.

Mrs. Weasley tried to console George and Hermione's eyes followed Ron as he abruptly left the group to the end of the hall. There, he paced, sat, and paced some more before Hermione joined him.

"Ron?" she asked in a voice that she hoped told him he could talk to her.

Ron didn't say anything, but instead looked at her with eyes that broke her heart. She did not have any siblings herself, but the look in his eyes communicated so much pain that she got an inkling of what it would be like to almost lose one of them. He sat down once more and hung his head. Figuring that he wanted to be alone, she turned to rejoin the other Weasleys and Harry.

She had only taken a couple of steps when she heard a patting sound. She turned back towards Ron; he was patting the seat next to him in a heartbeat rhythm. She sat next to Ron in comfortable silence, but after a while she felt she needed to do more—maybe he was waiting for her to speak. She reached out for his hand and rested hers there. She chanced a glance at him and saw a slight smile at the corner of his mouth that was quickly replaced by a look of guilt.

"Mum! Dad!"

Hermione turned away from Ron to see Bill running towards his family.

"I came as soon as I could. I just couldn't leave Fleur alone, so I waited until she was with her mother and sister before coming. She insisted on my not waiting, but how could I not?" he finished as his voice shook.

Mrs. Weasley began to comfort Bill as Harry rose to offer the distraught newlywed his seat. Ginny took over comforting George.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"As soon as we know that Fred is going to be okay, let's go to your parents' house. I don't…I don't want…Fleur, she…"

"I understand, Ron. You don't have to say anything else."

Except for the occasional sound of weeping and updates from the Healer, the group sat in silence until midnight. It was then that Ron's stomach broke the silence. Mrs. Weasley was the first to laugh, which gave them all permission to laugh. None of them had eaten since the reception or before even that.

After they had all eaten some snacks that Harry and Hermione had retrieved from the tea room at the hospital, everyone settled into low conversations. Well, except Ron and Hermione. Ron had moved a little closer to his family, but was still quiet. Hermione had had enough.

"Ron, why are you so quiet?" she whispered, sounding harsh without meaning to. He was just so exasperating.

"Why do you think? My brother is hanging somewhere between life and death and there's nothing I can do," replied Ron somberly and with no lack of bitterness.

"That's not what I meant. Why won't you at least talk to me about it? You can, you know—or was all that talk about being able to be yourself around me just rubbish?"

"What? No, of course not. I just can't talk about it now, okay? I have to sort it out in my head first."

"So, you'll talk to me about it eventually? You don't have to, but if you want-"

"Maybe by the time we go to your parents, I'll have sorted it all out," Ron whispered as he took Hermione's hand in his once more.

"Okay," she replied, stroking his hand with her thumb. He took a shaky breath at her movement.

"Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?"

"Yes, Healer O'Conner?" asked Mrs. Weasley like the next thing that the healer said could possibly break her.

"Fred has suffered severe injuries. We believe he was hit with a Cruciatus curse and a Body-Bind Curse at the same time. Because he was unable to move while experiencing the pain of the Cruciatus curse, his body and mind went into shock. The coma is his body's way of protecting itself. Normally, movement by the victim in the duration of the Cruciatus prevents this, especially if the duration is abbreviated as it was in Fred's case."

Mrs. Weasley let out a sob as Mr. Weasley moved to support her. He turned to the Healer, "What does that mean? Is he going to be okay?"

"There is a 60 chance that Fred will recover and regain full use of his mind and body. The fact that his attack was not that long contributed to these good odds. If we see at least reflexive movement within the next week, his chances will increase to 80 for a full recovery. Now that we are finished assessing his condition, you may visit him in pairs. I am sure that hearing his family talk to him will speed up his recovery. If you have any questions, I will be here until 5 am. After that, you can ask for Healer Flannery."

The Healer noticed that Mrs. Weasley was slightly less tense, but tense nonetheless, and added, "Looking at Fred's family, I have no doubt he'll pull through. Now, who wants to see Fred first?"

Ron was so relieved that his brother was more than likely going to be okay that he almost forgot why he had been so silent. When he saw Fred it all came rushing back and so did the guilt. When he had found George, Fred, and his mother after the attack, he had been sure that his brother was dead. When they found out that he wasn't and the shock wore off, he began having thoughts that troubled him. He began thinking that if his family didn't know Harry that none of this would have happened. He knew better than to think that it was actually true, but he thought it anyway, which filled him with enormous guilt. When he had separated from his family while they were waiting, he was actually getting away from Harry. He felt that Harry would probably be able to tell what he was thinking. After all, what he was thinking was probably the same thing Harry was thinking.

Fred was so pale and still. Ron didn't think he had ever seen his brother be so still, not even when sleeping. Ginny brushed the hair off of Fred's face and held back a sob. He and Ginny had come in after Mr. Weasley and Charlie had visited; Bill and George would follow and then Harry and Hermione.

"Ron, do you really think he'll be okay?" Ginny asked.

Ron considered her question for a moment. The Healer had certainly been optimistic, but a forty percent chance of no recovery was a lot. He wasn't sure what he thought, so he decided to tell Ginny what she wanted to hear.

"Fred's strong, Ginny. I'm positive that he'll pull through. He's a Weasley, isn't he?"

"You're right." She began stroking Fred's face as she said, "Did you hear that big brother? You're going to be all right. You have to be. When you wake up you have to knock some sense into George." She took a long shuddering breath as her body was racked with sobs yet again that day. Ron enfolded her in his arms as his own eyes filled with tears.

After everyone had visited Fred, Mrs. Weasley insisted that everyone go to Grimmauld Place to sleep and then they would come back in the morning. George refused to leave; a Healer was kind enough to set up a cot for George to sleep on next to Fred. Ron doubted he would actually sleep; he doubted any of them would.

"Ron?"

Ron rolled over in his bed in Grimmauld Place, "Five more minutes." Then he remembered what all had happened and he was wide awake. He looked over at the bed next to his; Harry was still asleep. Who had called his name? He looked to the doorway and found Hermione standing there looking like she hadn't been up that long.

"Ron, your mother told me to get you up. Percy's here."

"He's what? Percy? What does that traitorous wanker want?"

"I don't now. I just know he's here. He heard about Fred from your dad and your dad brought him here."

"How do we know he won't go back to the Minister about this place!" exclaimed Harry from the other bed as he fumbled for his glasses.

"I don't think he would even if he could. Remember? No one but the Secret Keeper can tell anyone the location of that place. McGonagall is the Secret Keeper now since Dumbledore died and you said it could continue to be headquarters for the Order. I guess she gave Mr. Weasley a piece of paper to show Percy."

"Well, the git won't be able to talk anyway after I kill him," Ron said as he ground his right fist into his left palm.

"Ron! Just listen to what he has to say first, okay? Maybe he's come around finally. I'm not too fond of him right now either, but he's your brother. He's here because Fred is hurt, not to have you seek revenge from his past trespasses."

"Hermione's right, Ron. Let's just go see what he has to say before you settle any vendettas, okay? Besides, your lack of action will make him squirm. That could be fun, right?"

"Harry!" Hermione admonished.

"You're right, Harry. This could be a lot of fun," Ron said as he rubbed his hands together. He was the first out the door.

A/N: You didn't honestly think I could kill off a Weasley, did you? Well, I didn't put as much in this chapter as I had originally outlined. This just seemed like a good place to end and it ends on kind of a happy note, unlike the last chapter. Sorry about that one, by the way. This story just keeps getting longer and longer chapter-wise because I try to keep the tones of the chapters cohesive. Anyway, please Read and Review!