Before it Began
By. SkyQuill
Summary
James knew he was in love at first sight, but what would it take for Lily to love him back? Read their story leading up to their deaths and discover the dangers they faced and the loves and friendships they shared.
Disclaimer
I do not own most of the characters and places or anything else that may seem familiar. J.K. Rowling has the exclusive claim to this as well as the general plot that formed this fanfic.
Chapter 40: Bleeding Tears
Dumbledore paced swiftly in the serene atmosphere of his office. His blue eyes remained focused on the floor and he walked back and forth, contemplating everything that had happened that evening. What he had feared had become true, and what he now feared, just might if he didn't take immediate action.
Only hours ago the seemingly impossible had occured. One of Voldemort's own deatheaters had come to him, carrying news of the dark lords plans. Dumbledore may have thought it a trick, a tease, even a prank had it not been for a very thorough legillimens inspection and the remorse of the man. Besides, why else would a man risk his own neck to save his arch-rival unless it were the most serious of conditions. There was also the fact that, this death eater had a debt to the man at risk...
As Fawkes let out a low, musical chirp, Dumbledore gently awoke from his reverie. The phoenix gave him a look that seemed to say, It is time. With a sigh, Dumbledore swept his velvet purple cloak from his throne like chair and tossed a handful of floo power into the dying embers of the fire. Immediatly the flames roared up, viridian green and dancing; with a last grave realization of what he now was required to do, Dumbledore stepped regally into the fire and let the flames whirl him away to another place.
000
"James, what's the meeting about?" Lily asked, bundling Harry snugly into his blanket. She pulled her own cloak tighter against the cool, fall air and waited impatiently for her husband's answer.
"I don't know." James muttered distractedly. He adjusted his glasses anxiously, "Remus just said it was urgent, and that he'd wait for us in Godric's Hollow with a portkey from Dumbledore."
"You're sure it was Remus?" Lily asked nervously. "Not a death eater in disguise? Or maybe he was under the imperious curse..."
"Lily, it was him. Trust me, we went over the security questions and everything." James assured her, though he himself didn't sound very confident. "It's the topic of the meeting that worries me, and not how we're going to get there." Lily sighed in defeat. What could be so important to call a Order meeting so late? It was already eleven in the evening and she despised being out so late. All the recent attacks had definitely put her on edge. Even moreso then it would've done because of her beloved Harry.
Without another word, and refusing to voice her fears, Lily willingly followed James into the small village of Godric's Hollow. Lily was just beginning to feel uneasy when Remus finally revealed himself under the streetlamp light.
"Lily, James." he sighed in relief. "I thought perhaps...well nevermind. Come on, we'd best hurry." Lily forced herself to give their friend a small smile as she and James moved forwards to take hold of the portkey. She held Harry more firmly to her as she prepared for the spinning sensation she knew was coming.
"On three," Remus said breathlessy, holding a finger on the empty pop can. "One, two...three." As Remus counted down the last number Lily felt the familiar jerk behind her naval and before she knew it, she was spinning through the grips of a no-world. Harry remained quite still in her arms but as the wind rushed past her ears, she could hear him whimpering.
In another moment, they had landed hard on the rough pavement sidewalk. Lily recognized them to be on the street just outside of headquarters.
"Here." James said softly, reaching out to take a lightly sobbing Harry from Lily. He took his son and rocked him in his arms, trying to comfort him. Lily would have smiled at the sight but Remus was already ushering them out of the cold and inside the building where the meeting was to be held.
After undoing the intense series of charms that had been applied and giving the password, they were granted entrace. Lily and James eagerly stepped into the softly lit hallway and let the warmth spread through their chilled bodies.
Sirius came into the hallway from another room at their arrival and eagerly made his way towards them.
"Hey Lily, James." he said patting them both on the arm. "Hello Harry!" he added brightly, his eyes gleaming with adoration as he spotted his godson.
"Pah-fud." Harry babbled, reaching his tiny arms out towards Sirius. James passed the toddler to his best mate. Sirius gazed down at the child for a moment before snapping back to reality.
"Oh, right. The meeting's in here." he said, leading Remus, Lily and James to the room he had stepped out of earlier. The five of them entered to find most of the Order already there and immersed in conversation as they sat around a rather long, oak table.
"Lily!" Alice said warmly, standing up to greet her friend with a hug.
"Hi Alice." Lily smiled. "Where's Neville?" Alice rolled her eyes,
"Franks got him, showing him off to the rest of the Order as usual. He's crawling now, but you know that from the other day." Lily laughed,
"Yeah. They like to do that, don't they? I suppose it's just fatherly pride."
"Yeah." Alice agreed. "Anyways odd time for a meeting, eh?"
"It is." Lily mused, letting her worry return to her thoughts. "I don't suppose you know why Dumbledore's called the meeting?" Alice shrugged,
"We'll find out soon enough I guess. I just hope it's not another giant or death eater attack. I'm really getting sick of this constant worrying for Frank..."
"I know what you mean." Lily replied. "Oh, here he is." As the elderly wizard stepped solemnly into the room, everyone instantly fell silent and retook their seats.
"Welcome." Dumbledore sighed, inclining his head at the group. "I apologize for the late time of the meeting, but recent events require it." When nobody spoke up, Dumbledore continued. "Before I introduce the most recent member of our organization, I must ask for complete calm upon his entrance. (His eyes flashed warningly in the direction of the marauders.) This man was a death eater, but has come to our side with valuable information and a desire to repent. I trust him, and I expect you to do so too."
There was an immediate outbreak of noise as Dumbledore finished his statement. Some people sounded curious, others angry. Moody was looking particularly murderous and James and Sirius had narrowed their eyes suspiciously. Lily remained silence, waiting for Dumbledore to introduce the turn-coat.
"Silence." Dumbledore ordered, raising and aged hand to quiet them. Everyone quieted at once, except for Harry who let out a soft gurgle. Dumbledore smiled beignenly at the child before continuing. "Let me please introduce, Severus Snape."
As a tall, thin and rather shadowy figure stepped into the room, surveying it's contents with pitch black eyes from behind dark, greasy hair, James and Sirius jumped angrily to their feet.
"Snivellus!" they hissed in unison. And although Remus remained seated, even his gaze had hardened unpleasently. Peter was ill and had not shown up for the meeting yet if he was planning to, otherwise, Lily suspected, his reaction would have been similiar.
"James! Sirius!" Lily exclaimed, removing Harry from his godfather's arms. "Sit down!" Sirius quelled under Lily's furious gaze but James hesitated. Lily felt the old anger rise within her, the type she used to feel during James's unsettling antics back at school.
"Sit down!" she repeated, her voice now low and dangerous. James hesitantly sat down, but refused to stop shooting daggers at his old classmate with a murderous look. Dumbledore nodded his head at the marauders, while Snape continued to smirk at them.
"It is a time of unity. Their will be no tolerance of inner disputes." he declared firmly, making sure both Snape and the marauders understood. Lily attempted to give Severus a comforting smile, but his lip curled in disgust as he caught sight of her. Lily's expression faltered but she kept her face stony. Harry began to whimper again and she focused on soothing him instead.
"Severus, please take a seat." Dumbledore invited, gesturing towards an empty chair at his side. The headmaster seemed quite unaware of the open mouthed gaping surrounding them. Instead he began to speak pleasently, as though they were all guests of a rather delightful picnic lunch.
"Now Severus here, though you don't need to know details, has agreed to spy for us on Lord Voldemort (most people flinched or screamed). It is a dangerous task but is invaluable." He announced calmly. Many people gave snorts of incredulity or doubt but he ignored them.
"So that's it?" Alice asked, looking positively dumb-struck. "That's the reason for the meeting?"
"Yes." Dumbledore answered. "I thought you best be aware of it as soon as possible. We must all be aware of the events taking place around us if we are to work as a team."
"Right." Alice muttered, looking thoroughly unconvinced. Dumbledore paid no attenton to it but spread his arms apart,
"And now, you should all be off. I'm sure warm beds are awaiting you eagerly in your homes." As the others hurriedly got up to leave, shooting Snape malevont glances as they passed, Lily approached Dumbledore tentatively.
"I don't suppose you've caught wind of Callidora?" she asked, trying to keep the sadness out of her tone. Dumbledore shook his head sympathetically,
"I'm afraid not Lily. You'll be the first to know if I do however." he assured her. Lily bowed her head,
"There's really not a chance of her still being alive, is there?" she asked dejectedly.
"There is always hope." Dumbledore told her gently. Lily forced a smile and turned to leave. She, Remus, Sirius. James and the Longbottom's were the only people left now. But then, a second glance showed that Peter had arrived, certainly looking quite ill.
"Did I miss the meeting?" he squeaked.
"Yes you dolt." Sirius said in exasperation, but nevertheless, he began filling him in. Peter looked more astonished then anything, but didn't say anything much.
"Excuse me, would the rest of you linger behind a moment? Alice and Frank, you two can leave however. I'm sure you've got much to do tomorrow, and you'll need your rest." Dumbledore asked, as they all prepared to leave. Lily felt a lurch of suspiscion and surprise inside her but nodded and sat back down beside James. Alice looked mildly affronted but left with Frank and Neville nevertheless.
Dumbledore walked the family to the door before returning to the now, almost silent room.
"I am afraid, Severus Snape is not the only reason i called a meeting tonight," he said gravely.
"Oh." Lily said softly. James laid a comforting hand on her arm while Remus and Sirius looked on grimly. Peter was sniffling from his affliction, but listened all the same.
"You'll remember, Lily, when you told the Order about your research discoveries?"
"Of course." Lily answered promptly.
"Well, I have enlisted the help of Mr. Filius Flitwick into the more thorough use of the Fideler ritual, and we have discovered a way to use it on wizards and witches." Dumbledore explained. Lily's green eyes lit up triumphantly,
"That's excellent!"
"It certainly is useful." Dumbledore replied, sounding somewhat unenthused. "I'm afraid though, we will have to put it into immediate practice."
"What?" James asked slowly, thinking hard. His brow furrowed with worry, "Why?" Dumbledore sighed and got to his feet. He began pacing and spoke in a hurried voice, as though the quicker he spilt the information, the easier it would be to accept.
"A while back, in years previous, I witnessed a prophecy being made. (Remus and Lily gasped consecutively) The prophecy stated that a child would be born to parents who had thrice defied Voldemort (Peter cowered) and would be born in late July. It also went on to say, that this child would have power to rid the world of Voldemort." Lily felt a numb sortof fear gripping her. She instinctively clutched Harry tighter and hardly felt James's hand grasp hers.
"I have recieved word, that Voldemort has discovered the prophecy, by" Dumbledore hesitated, eyeing Sirius and James apprehensively, "Well, by some means. He has interpreted it, and vowed to destroy that child." Lily felt tears spring to her eyes,
"And it's Harry?" she asked in a choked voice. Dumbledore gaze her a sympathetic glance.
"I'm afraid that is who he has chosen to go after." he said gravely. Lily couldn't help it...strong as she wanted to be, the tears just came, pouring down her face...bleeding sadness and fear.
"Chose?" Remus asked dumb-struck, for James had a blank expression on his face and looked completely numb to say anything at all.
"Yes," Dumbledore said sadly. "Neville Longbottom could have been the other child..." Nobody said anything, and for a moment, the only noise was Lily's sobs. Suddenly James let out a strangled noise and stormed out of the room. Sirius immediatly got up to follow him.
Lily forced herself, using every bit of her willpower, to stop crying. She looked fiercly at Dumbledore,
"But there's things we can do isn't there? Things we can do to protect Harry?"
"Of course." Dumbledore agreed. "The Fidelius charm, we have invented as a result of the Fideler ritual, will hide you from everyone except the secret keeper." Lily nodded,
"Are you going to be secret keeper?" she asked breathlessly.
"I'm afraid not. It would be far too predicatable." Dumbledore said gravely. "You will have to choose someone else trustworthy."
"I'll go and get Sirius and James." Remus said seriously. "They need to hear this." He left the room abruptly, leaving Lily to sit there, rocking Harry in her arms as she let the shock overwhelm her. Peter was also quite expressionless, his eyes were so blank, that if she didn't know better, she would have thought a dementor had sucked out his soul. For the first time in all living memory, Lily noted that even Dumbledore looked numb beyong belief. Why Harry? Why her child?
"The fidelius charm?" James demanded questioningly as he re-entered the room, Sirius and Remus on his heel. Lily was struck painfully by his red rimmed eyes. "This will prevent Voldemort from knowing are whereabouts?"
"Yes." Dumbledore answered patiently. "It's only a matter of choosing a secret keeper now."
"Sirius." James said automatically. "If you're willing." he added. Sirius nodded, a determined expression in his dark eyes,
"Lily?" he asked, "I promise, I would never betray you. You're the only family i've ever had." Lily gazed into his eyes, so alit with fury and love and nodded.
"Yes."
"Excellent." Dumbledore said. "I'll inform the others you have left for hiding, they will not be able to visit you. I'm sorry Remus, Peter. Sirius, you may visit them, but you will have to be cautious. Voldemort will be planning an attack soon, and it won't be long before he figures out what we have done. Sirius, I need to you to be extra careful."
"Right." Sirius said with a nod. Not an ounce of fear seemed to marr his bold courage. Lily knew they couldn't have chosen anyone better for the job.
"Now for the charm." Dumbledore said lightly. "We'll have to head to your place to apply it." Everyone nodded solemnly, and Lily felt as though her heart were breaking. How long would they have to stay in hiding? How long before they saw their friends again?
"Goodbye Prongs, Lily." Remus said, embracing them both. He looked at them, sadness radiated from his blue eyes. "Goodluck." He took Harry's little hand in his own and gazed at the baby, unable to believe what this child had been destined to do. "And you too, Harry." Remus then turned to leave abruptly so that the others would not see the tears that were beginning to form.
"Bye Wormtail." James said to Peter, who had remained, looking extremely uncomfertable. The short wizard did not say anything but allowed James and Lily to give him a quick, one armed hug before hurrying off.
"Ready?" Dumbledore asked gently, when only they and Sirius remained. James shrugged, and followed Dumbledore with the rest of them as the made their way back onto the streets. Why did fate have so that they must hide from what they had been fighting? Why had this burden been placed upon them?
000
Sirius arrived back at home an hour later, completely woe begone and exhausted. How cruel life was! Lily and James had been the most deserving people of a good life, and now their very son was hunted by the darkest wizard of all time. Childishly, he thought, life was so unfair.
"Sirius?" came a soft voice from the living room. Sirius jumped about a foot into the air, drawing his wand in the meanwhile. Cadence stepped into the dim hallway and surveyed her boyfriend.
"Are you okay?" she whispered, looking quite concerned. Sirius didn't know what to say, or if he should say anything at all. "Sirius?" Cadence pressed. At that moment, Sirius felt the pressure of his responsibility and the tradgedy of it all fall upon him. As the emotion engulfed him, he let Cadence lead him gently to the sofa.
"What happened?" Cadence asked, comforting him as he struggled to fight back the tide of sadness that had barraged him. And knowing he had to get it off his chest, and at least tell somebody, Sirius told her. Everything. She was Lily's friend, she would understand, she would feel the pain as he had.
"Oh Sirius..." Cadence whispered tearfully when he had finished telling her. "Poor Lily and James...and Harry...it's terrible." She and Sirius sat still in an embrace, thinking of the darkness that had found it's way into their life. She felt unbearably proud of Sirius for his role as secret keeper, and still terribly sad for her friends. Gravely she realized that only luck and love could help them now.
000
After putting Harry to bed in his crib, Lily walked backed into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, lost in her thoughts. For a long time she simply sat there like that, not crying, not worrying, not even planning, just sitting. Seconds passed, minutes passed, maybe even hours. She didn't know how long it was until she found James arms around her and then in an instant she was crying her heart out onto his shoulder.
Even as Lily let bled her soul out, James shoulders shook from his own tears. He rarely cried, had rarely felt the need too, and yet here he was, unable to stop the tears from pouring down his cheeks. Why couldn't Voldemort have gone after him instead? Why did he have to set his evil desire on Lily and Harry too? They were his entire life, all his love. He couldn't let anything harm them, and yet here he was, almost powerless. He was scared, no, terrified, for the first time in his life.
As the night progressed, nothing changing, sleep finally fell upon them. Still dressed, yet holding each other tight, they lay upon the blankets eyes closed, hearts aching. As she slept, Lily felt something surface in her dreams. The words were hazy in her subconcious, but the feeling clear. Love and renewed strength seemed to flow through her veins as the ancient magic soothed her.
With surprising suddeness, Lily snapped awake, instantly awake. She knew what she had to do; she knew how to protect her son. Getting to her feet silently, she hurried to Harry's room and removed the malachite chain she had put around his neck weeks earlier. For days and days she had researched methods of making a reverse horcrux, but it had seemed impossible. Now Lily took off her amber ring and set it beside the malachite pendant.
Ignoring the chill that ran up her spine as she whispered the charm, Lily cursed her ring so that in the event of her death, it would become a horcrux. She knew that because it would be her death, and the amber's soul cleansing properties, that her spirit would remain whole and unlike a real horcrux. She then turned to the malachite pendant and whispered the words that had echoed throughout her dreams... She whispered the words of the ancient love spell she had read months earlier in the Hogwarts library.
With a smile, Lily set the chain back around Harry's sleeping neck and slipped her ring back on her finger. Purpose achieved, she ambled back to bed and curled up beside James. Whatever happened now, she would always be with her son.
Author's Note: Whew, glad to get this chapter finished. This was incredibly hard to write, and I really don't know whether i'll be able to survive writing the next. I mean, it is the chapter that made the legend that's next, right? Curse writing and it's creation of emotional bonds with fictional characters! Anyhow, comments would be much appreciated. I reckon there will only be two or three more chapters left to this story. Oh and I shall plead again, please check out the forum for this story! Please:) Until next time...