A Little Talk

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Great, wonderful, lovely. Would someone tell me why I have a bottle of sedatives? I don't remember buying sedatives…

"Da, I'm done!" Harry yelled excitedly, bursting into the kitchen. The sight that met him made him stop in his tracks.

Remus and Sirius were both on the kitchen table. Sirius was on top of Remus and neither of them were wearing shirts. Both men were very sweaty and Remus was panting slightly.

"Uh… Harry. What was that?" Remus breathed, trying to shift out from under Sirius. Sirius was not cooperating. He had frozen as soon as Harry walked into the room.

"What are doing?" Harry asked slowly. Remus went bright red. Sirius had unfrozen and was looking rather guilty.

"Uh… um… nothing, Harry. Sirius, gerroff." Remus pushed at him. Sirius nodded, sliding off the table and gathering up his shirt.

"Harry, uh… maybe it's time you and me had a little talk." He grimaced, moving slowly toward the door. Harry looked confused, but followed anyway. Remus leaned against the table, breathing heavily.

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"So, Harry. That's basically what you need to know. Uh… do you have any questions?" Sirius shifted uncomfortably. Harry's eyes were wide.

"Are you guys done?" Remus stuck his head into the room, a light blush still staining his cheeks. Sirius looked at Harry.

"I'm not sure. He isn't asking any questions, which is odd. I think he's gone into shock or something." He raised an eyebrow.

"Hm… Harry, do you want some ice cream?" Remus asked. Harry turned around, quickly, nodding. Remus grinned at Sirius who rolled his eyes.

"Always have to be right, don't you Remus?" He made a face.

"Of course. Come on, Harry. We have chocolate, vanilla and Moose Tracks. Which one would you like?" Remus asked.

"Moose Tracks! Da, what's a condom?" Harry questioned suddenly. Remus blanched.

"Uh… Dad didn't explain that," Remus cleared his throat, nervously. Harry shook his head, "Oh, well… I'll tell you later."

Well, there you go. Harry's a man! Hey, why are you guys here again? I did the disclaimer. Who are the guys in the white coats? Wait! You're the one who gave me these stupid pills! No! Gerrof! Readers, Review!

Hey! No! I don't want the nasty pills! Get those away from me! Help!