You
don't know what it's like
"How did you get out of the cuffs?"
He turned on the sound of her voice.
"Oh, I know a trick or two"
I know more tricks Than you can ever imagine was what he was thinking.
But but saying it would get way personal for him.
To
be like me
Sam turned to him. There was resentment in his eyes" No, I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life."
It stung...it stung hard.
His brother was looking at him like he was the universes worst crime.
But Dean Winchester never let his emotions show.
He was trained...he was raised to believe emotions are a weakness.
And hunting only made that belief stronger.
To
be hurt
"You don't choose, I will."
The hot poker was so close he could almost taste it.The burning pain will soon be too much. His senses are in overdrive and Deandid the only thing he could.
He screamed.
Screamed because this was what he was destined.
He screamed for all he lost all those years ago.
To
feel lost
His father was holding Sammy in his arms. But Dean didn't notice.
All he could see was the only place he ever knew as home vanish in the flames.
To
be left out in the dark
He was hanging from the ceiling.
Unconscious.
To
be kicked when you're down
"Listen. You and your brother—"
The man looked panicked at the thought that they were staying; even if it was just for another hour
It made Dean grin.
He took pity on the man.
"Oh, don't worry, we're leaving town."
To
feel like you've been pushed around
"Fine. You're both so sure? Go ahead. Kill me."
His grip on the gun loosened thanks to the swat, his eyes were full of tears. His hand shook and he lowered the Colt.
It must have been the panic.
"I thought so."
The elder Winchester looked up, eyes orange and suddenly both Dean and Sam were pinned against the wall.
When will he learn to listen his instincts.
To
be on the edge of breaking down
The kid was lost, drawing away, locking himself in the world where everything was fine.
In a world where his life was intact.
Where he was safe.
"See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom—I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day. And I do my best to be brave."
Dean Winchester knew what that world felt like...before his father ripped him out of it.
And
no one's there to save you
"You hate me that much? You think you can kill your own brother"
Silence.
"Do it!"
One shot.
Second shot.
Empty.
Both the gun and Dean's heart.
He forced the pain in his chest away and made his move.
"I'm not gonna give you a loaded pistol"
And for the first and what he hoped the last time he knocked his brother out with his fist.
"Sorry Sammy"
No
you don't know what it's like
Just as they were out and 'safe' Sam ended on the floor , being punched with out holding back. He rushed over, trying to help his brother only to find himself crashing in the windshield of the nearby car.
Dean slowly rose up, his training kicking in.
What happened next was the most dangerous combination possible.
Brother and hunter in him working together.
He drew out the Colt and fired. The body of the young man fell down on the ground and he moved to his brother, getting him back on his feet"Sam…Sam."
His eyes fell on the body with a bullet hole in it's forehead.
It had to be done.
It had to be done.
But it didn't stop the guilt and sadness in Dean.
He pushed it away.
He pushed it so deep in his soul it would become a numb memory. Like every other thing like this he was forced to do. An achein his heart when he looks back.
"Come on. Come on, we've got to get out of here."
Welcome
to my life
"When Max locked me in that closet, that big cabinet against the door—I moved it."
Dean laughed.
"You've got a little bit more upper body strength than I give you credit for."
Sam looked guilty" No, man, I moved it—like Max."
With the Winchesters it always go the hard way.
"Oh. Right."
"Yeah."
Sam sounded like a ten year old boy who needed his brother to tell him it would be OK.
The problem was Dean didn't know if it will be. If this will be something they will be able to get past it or will it be the thing
"Bend
this" he raised the spoon in the direction of his brother.
Sam for some reason grew desperate" I can't turn it on and off, Dean."
Well one question down...a few dozen more to go.
Time for question No.2
"Well, how'd you do it?"
"I don't know, I can't control it. I saw you die, and it just came out of me, like a punch. You know, like a freak adrenaline thing."
Figures. Everything they do is tied with death so it's easy to assume that the 'ability' is too.
"Well, I'm sure it won't happen again."
I hope. If it does Sammy I don0t think I will be able to protect you. I can fight off monsters...but I can't protect you from youreself.
"Yeah, maybe. Aren't you worried, man, aren't you worried that I could turn into Max or something?"
Yes.
"Nope. No way. You know why?"
He kept his voice strong.
"No. Why?"
His eyes determined.
"'Cause you've got one advantage that Max didn't have."
Sam looked at him like he was crazy" Dad? Because Dad's not here, Dean."
No he isn't.
"No. Me" he even managed to smile. Sometimes Dean even scared himself" As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you. Now then, I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go."
"Where?"
"Vegas."
He smiled, easier this time. Sam scoffs and goes outside to the car.
"What? Come on, man. Craps table. We'd clean up."
He smiled and grabbed his duffel bag, turning his back on the car and Sam his smile slipped. He turned off the light in the room and glared at the darkness.
You want him? Bring it on. You'll have to go past me first.
And I don't plan on losing that war.