Parental Duties
By Rey
Chapter summary: Socialising is a pain to Asajj. Her very name, even more.
Chapter note: Asajj calls Ky Narec "teacher" here instead of "master" because, in her life thus far, the former has a better connotation than the latter. She uses "master" when talking about Ky to other people because she knows it is what is expected of her, being Ky's padawan.
13. Asajj: The Strangers
Going from planet to planet is new, alien, in a not-so-good kind of way.
It's even worse because Teacher Ky isn't here, didn't travel along with his student and daughter, and he was bleeding heavily last Asajj knew.
She wants to hate herself for saying yes to the little voice who invited her to come be with him. She wants to hate the little voice for tempting her with stories of fiercely protective and caring parents and fine adventures with loved ones to chase away the bad memories and loneliness. But the owner of the little voice is a very small, very green, very earnest, very warm little thing in truth, and she doesn't have the heart to hate him.
Besides, with how frantically these people went from planet to planet, with how equally frantically they prepared for a storm – this storm – and all, she doubts Teacher Ky could have survived, even before anybody could try to help him, if he went along with her.
It's a very-not-nice truth, and a very cold, very sparse comfort. But Teacher Ky taught – teaches – her to accept truth as it is, however bad it makes her feel, so Asajj will try to follow it, best as she can.
Starting from the not-hating. And perhaps also seeing if she can learn lots; to later be able to return to Teacher Ky, hopefully, and be able to heal him.
And, from how varied the people here are, it seems that she indeed can learn lots from them alone.
Only, how does she ask them? she knows nodoby here but for the little voice! And she knows him as just that: the little voice that brought her here.
Well, there is another zabrak here, a "Nightsister," and Asajj even spoke with her for a little while, even hunted along with her for the communal stores. But that one – Merrin – isn't so nice, though they seem to be of an age, and Asajj would rather not interact too much with her… despite the fact that, even now, they are seated side by side, parked near a trio in both metal armour and robes like those Teacher Ky used to have, one of whom is T'ra their tree-person hunting guide from earlier.
And then Fennec – the only woman among the adults, who helped with hunting towards the end, when the storm was nearly on them all – who is also seated near them speaks up, addressing the boy who has just scooted over to her as if summoned by look alone – or maybe he is – but also to this little, flimsy room at large: "You think this is a good time for us to learn bits about each other? Wanna introduce yourself to this bunch, kid?"
`Oh! Introductions! What should I say? Teacher Ky never taught me this!`
A peek at the corner of her eye and also in what Teacher Ky always says is the Force tells her that Merrin is equally dismayed. But this doesn't help!
The boy introduces himself succinctly as Obi-Wan Kenobi, a general of the Young – whatever it is! – and the two boys he sat with break into noises of surprise and disbelief, and they are not the only ones, and Asajj wants to avoid such reactions, please!
`Is it safe enough to go outside? The storm must be better than this!`
A puzzled and even-more-dismayed Merrin thinks similarly, it seems, because the other zabraki girl slowly but carefully edges herself to the doorway just paces away from where they are, using Asajj's body as shield to hide the movement, and Asajj won't have that. They'll go together or not at all, even if Asajj dislikes her!
So Asajj scoots back, blocking the way… and they fall into a pushing match, even as a measly four people – including Fennec, which disappoints Asajj somehow – put such a great fuss on a boy who is even now shrinking into himself, startled and confused and dismayed and so very wary.
And the attention turns towards the girls when Merrin tires of the pushing match first and heaves Asajj towards the dozing T'ra and the latter's "triad siblings," startling them into defensive mode in turn.
Asajj curses the other zabraki girl heartily, even as she frantically dodges the punches and kicks the trio automatically try to land on her.
So how vindictive she feels when she manages to dodge them all with minimal grazing and Fennec catches Merin by the waist before that brat manages to reach the doorway! The attention of total strangers that is still riveted on her and Merrin is still unpleasant as ever, but still!
Better yet, then Fennec has Merrin introduce herself.
Grinning with all her teeth, Asajj now willingly dives into the trio's huddle, projecting calm-`Hide me!`-fun-cosy-playful-friend-safe all the while. And they let her in once they recognise that she is not a threat and it's Merrin that firstly pushed her into the huddle.
It's Fennec who introduces herself after Merrin, then the two boys who were with Obi – "Obi-Wan" is just too damned long! – who are named Cal Kestis and Caleb Dume respectively, then Boba Fett whose name somehow startles a squeak and a feeling of surprise-happiness-confusion-wonderment from a little boy who then names himself with a series of letters and numbers instead of a word. And, all the while, Asajj situates herself in the middle of a nest formed by sturdy robes and hard metal armour and living bodies, and it sounds uncosy, but it is cosy in truth, not to mention safely obscure.
It helps that she knows T'ra already, more or less, from their hunt together recently, and the neti's not-tree siblings seem to be just as kind if still rather reserved. Because everyone is freakily unknown otherwise, like the next, slightly older boy whose name is also a series of letters and numbers, and a… young man?… who claims that he has no name because his Jedi master said they need no name to serve the Force, and someone in armour but no robes who claims that his creed doesn't let him remove his helmet in the presence of any living being and tell his name to anyone. Little Rey the ship-part-scavanger and little Ezra Bridger the street-child are ordinary by comparison!
And then the trio have to introduce themselves – "Tarre Vizsla," "Tre-Fay Vizsla" and "T'ra-Saa Vizsla," children of "Sarre Vizsla," just that – and it's just Asajj who is yet to say anything, and she can't go anywhere, being hemmed in from all sides by armoured bodies like this.
`Damn it! Why didn't I use the chance to get out of this place instead?`
But Fay nudges her softly, companionably with an elbow, and T'ra leans groundingly against her back, and Tarre taps rhythmically, soothingly on her knee, and Asajj draws all the comfort and confidence she can from all those, from all of them, and speaks.
Well, it turns out that she does need the companionship and non-physical strength, because half of the room breaks out in noise again, over her name, and she doesn't know why – why Boba and Fennec are wary, and why Cal and Caleb are hostile. They are all strangers to each other – still strangers, even now! She doesn't know them, they don't know her, so why?!
She doesn't know, too, why they subside when she, cornered and frustrated and daunted and nearly in tears, yells above all the noise that she is twelve and she doesn't know any of them and, "Just stop, or I'll push you out into the storm!" But she is thankful of that, and she doesn't want to wonder about that, let alone ask.
`Well, at least I got the Vizslas… right?`
She doesn't look forward to how they all will survive as a group after this, though.