Disclaimer : I don't own the characters nor this song.
Broken hearts : Rei&Usagi
by
Amnesia Nymph
--
nothing lasts forever, but we always try
I sit her alone, waiting for someone I call my lover. Me and Usagi have been together for quite some time now. I think it has been about two years ago since we first met. We didn't get along right away. We almost did everything to annoy one another but at the same time we shared a bond unlike the bond we had with the other three sailor senshi. Mhh before you all get confused. My name is Rei Hino, also known as Sailor Mars.
And I just can't help but wonder why
Anyway, along the way I fell in love with that blonde haired klutz. Ofcourse the moment I realised that it already was too late. Three days before it finally hit me that I was in love with our princess were three days too late. She had just been discovered as being the princess of the white moon, princess Serenity but not only that had happened that certain day. Also her prince's real identity was revealed. Mamoru and I had been dating that time, well you couldn't really call it dating since I was the only one throwing energy into our relationship. He always used to be mysterious, I guess he always liked Usagi but he was too afraid to show it. And who knows, maybe the same also counted for Usagi. Maybe she had liked him ever since the first time they met too, but both hide it by fighting all the time.
We let it pass us by
It never really made any sense to me. One day they couldn't stand eachother and the next day Usagi suddenly was head over heels with Mamoru. Why? Was it an act to hide her real feelings? What if she didn't love Mamoru but was only with him because of that damn destiny, fate?
Fed up with my destiny
I shake my head, I feel slightly amused by my own stupid thoughts. I'm just trying to believe those lies myself. Usagi and I were having an affair behind Mamoru's back for three months now but to be honest, I was getting tired of this. I knew that when the time came she would choose him, not me. I'm just here to fill her time, he's her true love. It's what Setsuna said. Come to think of it, I think Setsuna knows about us, that must be the reason for why she's always looking at me and Usagi with those questioning eyes. But knowing she would choose him wasn't the only thing that bothered me. It had been a lot easier if I didn't like that damn man but I just can't seem to hate him. He's such a nice guy. Sometimes it makes me feel guilty but at other times when me and Usagi are alone with eachother, I seem to forget that and just let my emotions take over. I should start with listening to my heart.
And this place of no return
Anyway, I don't like to admit it but I can no longer do this anymore. I've been too proud to realise it before. I have to break out of this. It's not fair towards Mamoru but it isn't fair to both of us either. Who are we fooling with this behaviour? Am I really prepared to change the future because of my love for her? I don't even want to know what could happen if Mamoru found out, I don't even want to think about it.
Think I'll take another day
''Rei ?'' I suddenly hear her voice say. As soon as I realise it's Usagi I start to shiver. It was as if the cold had chosen me to play with. I had to stop this now. So without looking her into the eyes I turn around. I stare at the ground and even though i'm not facing her I know she's looking at me, she's on the verge of crying. I guess she knows what will happen next. Maybe she had seen it coming as well.
And slowly watch it burn
''So this is goodbye then?'' She asks me as I shake my head. Goodbye, is such a permanent word. Maybe we could go back to being friends, forget about all of this. No, this certainly wasn't a goodbye.
''No..'' I whisper hoarsely. I could already feel my own tears behind my eyes.''It's never goodbye, I just can't do this anymore Usagi, I love you a lot but I can't stay with you like this. I don't want to be in this game anymore.''
It doesn't really matter how the time goes by
''Rei...I love you too, please don't leave. You know that if I had a choice between you and Mamoru that I would choose...''
''Him.'' I interrupt her with a sad smile on my face. Finally I look up at her. She's already crying and at this point, I knew I was close to letting my own tears fall too.''I know you love me Usagi. But it's important for you to be true to yourself. You love me, but you love him too. And I think that's fine.''
Cause I still remember you and I
''Rei, please.'' She begs but I ignore her pleads.
Then I stand up, brushing past her during my way up. When I stand I start to walk away again.''Bye, Usagi. Maybe in another life time we'll be able to get together as a couple. Until then, I guess we'll go back to who we were before all of this.''
Please forgive me now
I hear her drop on her knees behind me, she's sobbing, crying and whispering that she's sorry. I don't know about what she's sorry at the moment. I don't even want to know. What I really want is turn around and hug her, hold her close and tell her everything is okay. Which ofcourse is a lie. If i'd turn around now I know i'll just fall again. I love her so much. My Usagi, my princess. No, she isn't my Usagi, she's Mamoru's. To me...she can only be just my princess, my friend. But secretly, deep in my heart i'll keep a place for her reserved.
I know this must've caused for some problems, I know she might be mad at me when it's finally going to sink it. But it was worth it. I couldn no longer do this to the man who loved her so much but most of all, I couldn't do this to myself. Lying is one thing, but telling yourself pointless lies is something else. I just realised that too late.
For that beautiful goodbye
The End
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I got inspired, it's not a very long fic but I more wrote it to get rid of my own emotions at the moment (this fic is fictional though and not based on an actual event), this was the perfect way to do it. I hope you liked it.