Ice Lessons 7
When Dr Fraiser went in to see him, he seemed to be asleep in his unusually neat bed, his hurt wrist cradled against his body. But as soon as she came close his eyes snapped open.
"Doc." he said.
"I'm just going to bring dinner in."
He made a face as Janet brought it in and set it on the bed tray and swung it over him. Jack turned over and began to sit up. But the moment he smelled the food, he gulped hard and paled. He pushed the tray away. She didn't know if he did it deliberately with his busted wrist to divert nausea to pain.
"Colonel, have you been taking the pain meds?"
He shook his head and winced, briefly touching his forehead with his fingers.
"On a scale of 1 to 10,"she said patiently "How bad is it, any blurriness?"
Jack looked everywhere around the room before settling back on her face. He lifted his right hand, spreading all 5 digits.
Oh, that's an 8 on anyone else, she cursed to herself.
Her nurses hadn't reported any actual nausea. But he was clearly in discomfort and it could be related to the head injury.
"Okay we'll do another CT scan just to check there's nothing going on inside that head of yours. We can compare it with the others."
Jack nodded and shrugged his shoulders. Janet left to go and organise that. There was something she was missing; she was sure, but what?
A short time later he'd been taken in a wheel chair down to the Scanning room. Janet helped him onto the sliding bed, and waited for him to settle down before moving the bed into the machine.
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Jack was so tired but he didn't want to sleep. So he hadn't. He'd fooled them. He hurt which meant it was all too real- it had happened. He'd let his guard down, twice, dammit. He didn't deserve to be a Colonel; it was a rookie's mistake for cryin out loud…
The bed slid into the machine.
"Stay still, Colonel." came the Doc's voice over the intercom as she stood next to the CT operator in the next room.
So Jack closed his eyes and stayed still. He'd had plenty of practice lately. He could soon be back at his own house. Safe, be himself.
On the other side of the window Janet Fraiser was pleased the Colonel seemed to be obeying her, usually he hated this thing when he was awake…
Suddenly Jack began to get flashes of being lowered into the cryo chamber, people were peering down at him; an unexpected blow to the face…not being able to breathe, darkness…
In real time his hand and fingers twitched, he began to move restlessly.
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Janet saw his hand twitch, the only movement she'd seen him make.
"Almost done Colonel," she said hoping to keep him there until the machine finished.
His legs moved. Hang on Colonel… she prayed.
"Finished." she signalled and rushed into the room, as the assistant behind her gathered the data.
The bed slid maddeningly slowly out of the machine. She could hear him saying "no, no, no"
As soon as the bed was free, he turned to the side to get off. He sat there, head down, one hand gripping the edge of the bed hard, tense as a board. She reached out to reassure him.
He shook his head at her "don't touch me" he looked at her with dark eyes that saw right through her.
They were both distracted for a second as the CT operator said the results were up.
Jack blinked at Dr Fraiser. She waited for him to come back; they'd done this dance before.
Another moment and he drew a shaky breath, and began to slide off the bed. He wanted out. NOW. He was pale and sweating again, his eyes looking for something.
Oh, oh she thought, where's a bin?
Before she could ask the CT operator, he bent over and threw up messily on the floor. He slowly sank onto his knees, propped up on his good arm, controlled by the heaves his body made. Janet knelt to support and soothe him and it seemed to her that for a few seconds his trembling body sagged, unboned against hers.
"It's ok, Colonel, I've got you." His cast wrist clunked against her as he automatically tried to hold her arm.
"Sorry." he muttered.
"Done?" Janet asked.
He nodded, and spat out again. It must have been unpleasant, and painful, with a damaged throat and sore ribs. Janet was relieved when the CT operator came back with a bottle of water and some cloths for Jack.
O'Neill turned over and scooted to rest his back against the wall. Janet passed him the water and cloths to take away the acrid taste and wipe his mouth.
Dr Fraiser let him have a few moments to himself as she went and reviewed the results with the operator.
Jack got up as she came back in and retrieved the wheelchair.
"What's the verdict?" he asked as he got in.
"The results look good Colonel. I don't see any problems. I think perhaps this is just the after effects of the concussion and stress you're under at the moment."
"hmmmpf"
"You can go home tomorrow as long as you get some quality sleep tonight and eat dinner and breakfast. No palming it off on Daniel or the disposal bins. You hear me?"
"Yes Doctor." how did she know about the food? he wondered .
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Whether it was the relief of knowing he was okay, Dr Fraiser didn't know, but once back in his room he settled down and immediately fell asleep. This only confirmed her suspicions that he hadn't really slept properly since regaining consciousness. But then that was normal for someone with head injuries. Returning a short time later with a fresh water jug, she noticed he'd moved and even now his fingers twitched.
That's when she realised what had been 'off' about him before. He'd been so good and quiet. He'd fooled them into thinking he was asleep, but he'd been still. Not restless. Even now, he'd tugged at some of the bed covers. No wonder he'd had a reaction. It wasn't good holding in all that tension and anxiety.
Unfortunately it wasn't the first time he'd had flashbacks in the infirmary. It was an unspoken bond between the Colonel and the Doctor. She knew more about his demons than his ex wife and SG1 did, and the Colonel knew that she knew. It was all about trust.
Dr Fraiser went back to her office to re check the scans and update the Colonel's file. Then she had to update the General, again. A knock on her door disrupted her thoughts.
"Janet can I have a word?" it was Major Carter looking worried.
"Sure, pull up a chair."
"I popped down to see if the Colonel wanted anything, but the nurse said he wasn't to be disturbed. Is everything alright?"
"Yes, he just needs some rest."
"Ah." said Sam knowingly.
Janet raised her eyebrows at her friend, but neither of them could discuss the fact that Jack's demons sometimes made him sleepless off world too.
"So, he's still scheduled to go home tomorrow?"
"As long as he actually eats food between now and then." commented Janet dryly.
"Oh?" queried Sam, then realisation dawned "Daniel."
"Quite. It didn't help matters."
"But you're sending him home anyway?" asked Sam
"He's not really hurt that bad, I can't keep him in for much longer. He'll heal physically. He just a bit battered."
"To say the least." said Sam. "This whole thing… it's distressing. To even think that someone would think… that the Colonel could…" and she broke off leaving Janet to fill in the blanks.
"Let's not dwell on that. We've weathered storms before. This will pass," replied Janet firmly. "He won't thank us for tiptoeing around him either."
"I guess he'll cope like he always does. All we can do is be there when he does want us." said Sam.
"Can't do anymore." agreed Janet.
"It's been difficult trying to stop Teal'c from storming down to the police station." began Carter with a slight laugh.
"If it weren't for the General, I suspect we'd all be down there." finished Janet.
"Janet, how's Cassie with all of this?" asked Sam
"She's…ok. I made her carry on at school as usual. In fact I have to go pick her up- the chess club finishes in half an hour. Then she can see the Colonel."
"I'm sure he'll be glad to see her."
"Not as much as she is, to see him!" replied Janet.
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Cassie opened the door to Jack's room and peered in to see if he was awake yet. She went in and sat on the chair, putting her school bag on the floor. Although her mom had warned her about his bruises and the black eyes, she found the true glory of them appalling. She put her small hand over the tanned long fingers of his sound hand, and whispered
"I'm so sorry Jack."
Jack cleared his throat and turned towards her, blinking sleepily at her.
"Cass?"
"Jack! I'm so glad to see you!"
"Me too." He croaked. Cassie passed him some water, as he sat up.
"God, you sound awful. What did that guy do to you? Are you going to be okay?" she blurted.
"I'm fine. I've done worse than this playing a game of hockey."
"No it's not fine! How could they question you like that! I know those students meant well, but... If I hadn't called you to come and pick me up, none of this would have happened." Cassie blurted, getting upset.
"Hey, none of that! Come here." he said softly.
Cassie sat on the bed, her legs stretched out in front of her, Jack's arm round her shoulder as she leaned against him. Jack was glad she still felt okay about him. Cassie hadn't figured out yet, how he dealt with all the weirdness life threw at him.
"One, I don't want you to ever worry about calling any one of us to come and get you, no matter what time it is or where you are, okay? I mean it. You know we never leave anyone behind." Jack began.
"Yes."
"We were having an afternoon out, ice skating and we will again. Don't let this spoil it."
"Two, we could go on all day about 'ifs' 'ands' and 'buts'. The most important thing is, from what the General told me this morning, that the police are pretty sure that they have the right man. He will go away for a long time. He won't hurt anyone else and he won't hurt you. Do not worry about him. Okay?"
"Okay." agreed Cassie, and refilled his glass of water before he continued.
"Three, I was not the only person brought in for questioning, helping with enquiries during their investigation."
"But, getting beat up like this, why does it always have to happen to you?" asked Cassie.
"The kid at the ice rink was out of line. It's a fine line between caring and vigilantism. But the guy in the cell, well, he was a time bomb waiting to go off. I just happened to be standing next to him at the time." 'That and beaming down to the planet wearing a red shirt.' thought Jack idly.
"Four?" Cassie prompted, waiting for Jack to carry on.
"There is no four…" replied Jack.
"The police asked me all sorts of questions, Jack. I didn't like it even though mom was there." said Cassie suddenly.
"I'm sorry, you had to go through that, I truly am." said Jack sadly.
"I mean it's not as if I don't know about some 'stuff'. Mom warned me and school's good about advising students to take care of themselves…"
"I'm glad to hear it"
"And, you guys help a lot too. Sparring with Sam, self defence classes with you. I've been very lucky since I lost my real family. It's unfair that you should be repaid like thisThey ask you all kinds of questions too, Jack?" said Cassie hesitantly.
"They did." A small statement covering a big story….
"Guess you didn't like them, any more than I did." Cassie said. Perhaps they could work things out together. She would never lose her trust in the Colonel, but Jack was less forgiving of himself.
"They were doing their job."
Another bald statement. Cassie could tell by the way Jack said it, that he was unhappy about it. It had been bad.
"But…" she began, as Jack smiled and said
"But me no butts!"
Cassie couldn't help but laugh.
The look he gave her said 'are we done here, for now? All okay?' and she nodded.
There was a light knock on the door, and Dr Frasier's head appeared.
"Is it okay to come in? I thought perhaps it was time the Colonel had some food. And no, before you say anything it's not the same as before." she said quickly seeing the look on O'Neill's face.
Janet thought chicken would work this time round. And having Cassie here would ensure he ate it. Cassie had strict instructions…
Jack paused, looked down at Cassie and said "Bring it on, Doc"
Janet smiled "Good.", and as she left the room she heard Cassie ask
"Jack, I was wondering if you'd read this book we're doing in English class…"
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It was late morning, the next day, by the time Dr Jackson drove Jack back to his house. He followed with the medications and diet list Jack always 'forgot' to pick up from the infirmary. Jack was still in some discomfort.
Daniel hovered in the kitchen, watching as Jack went through to sit on the couch, awkwardly flipping through several days' mail.
"I'm fine Daniel. Thanks for the lift" Jack said looking up.
"Sure Jack? I can stay if you want company or me to open things for you"
"I'm done talking for the moment. And this," he said lifting his cast "Is nothing, okay. I can manage. Plenty of practice."
Daniel knew better than to push any more. "Okay, I'll see you later, then"
"Yeah, bye." and Jack sat and waited for Daniel to leave, listened for the car to drive away, before putting the mail down. He let out a deep breath.
First things first, he thought, gathering supplies from the kitchen he went upstairs to his bedroom. He removed his socks and shoes before going into the bathroom to turn on the shower. Jack needed to wash the last few days off his skin. He got the rest of his clothes off without too much bother. Painful twinges from the wrist when he inadvertently pressed or tried to pull. He put a plastic bag over the cast and struggled with an elastic band.
The shower felt good, washing away some of the aches and pains and the grubbiness of being stuck in bed for a while. Jack stuck his busted wrist out of the shower as he managed to wash one handed. There was no one to see how ridiculous that looked, but him, and he didn't care.
His face and neck were still sore so he didn't bother to shave.
It took him a while to dry off properly, but he managed. Jack riffled through his wardrobes for non zip or button pants, and shirts that would go over the cast. He was sure he had some slip on shoes somewhere or Velcro ones. Tying shoelaces on his beloved boots was out for the moment.
Jack pottered about the house, unable to sit still for long. At lunchtime he incinerated some more soup, and took his meds like a good little Colonel for once.
He wasn't in the mood to watch 'The Simpsons', so he looked through the TV listings. Ah, this looked promising, a John Wayne double bill. He settled on the couch, put his feet up and watched 'The Searchers'. He wasn't sure if Teal'c had seen this one. There was much more here than just a Western. Several themes resonated, the long search for a member of a family, tracking hostiles through unknown territory, a rookie on the team learning and growing…
The afternoon stretched into early evening and he fell asleep during 'The Man who shot Liberty Valance".
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A loud knock on the door, startled him awake. Jack rubbed a hand gently across his stubbly face as he went to open it. 'I said I was fine Daniel' Jack murmured to himself.
He opened the door. The man on the porch turned around. Medium - tall, light brown hair and a cautious smile.
"Colonel O'Neill? Detective Langley." the man introduced himself.
"I know who you are." replied Jack curtly, peering behind him to see if he'd brought anyone else.
"Can I come in for a minute?"
"That depends on what you've come to say." said Jack, not budging.
"I just wanted to give you an explanation and fill you in on a few things."
"Than I guess you can come in." Jack stepped back so, the detective could come in.