Harry had never felt this kind of happiness before. When he awoke the next morning with his arm underneath Ron's pillow, with Ron's head on his shoulder, both of them so warm under the blanket, he sighed contentedly. They had stopped at kissing, though their raging hormones had told them to keep going, it was not the time or place to explore further. So they had fallen asleep murmuring to each other.

Harry glanced up at the window, watching the snow. Ron shifted slightly in his sleep and instinctively Harry pulled him closer. Harry did not know where these instincts were coming from. How to kiss Ron, how to touch him, how to pull him closer, where to place his own body in a way that both made Ron fit just perfectly against his body and also make him feel safe. All he could think was that it came from a place of love for Ron, and a need to make Ron feel protected. Harry glanced at his watch, it wasn't even 6 AM yet, and he heard no one walking around. He looked down at Ron, who looked very peaceful, he leaned down and moved the hair off his forehead and gently kissed it, then leaned back up and continued to stare out the window at the falling snow. A few moments later he heard a murmur,

"Harry…?"

Harry scooted down and put his head next to Ron's and stroked his cheek.

"I'm here," he said quietly, "Go back to sleep." He continued to run his thumb over Ron's cheek until he was breathing softly and heavily again. Harry smiled and turned back over, closing his own eyes. There was something very peaceful about being able to make Ron feel so safe.

Harry did not fall back asleep, but he didn't mind. He felt very comfortable, basking in the warmth of Ron's body next to him. Every once in a while Ron would unconsciously shift closer to him or nuzzle his face against Harry's shoulder, and each movement caused a flutter in Harry's stomach that he rather enjoyed. A short while later he felt a kiss on his neck and smiled.

"Good morning," he said.

"Morning," Ron replied against Harry's neck, snaking his hand up Harry's stomach.

"Sleep okay?" Harry asked as he felt more kisses being planted on his neck.

"Mmhmm," Ron replied, then he sighed and laid back down on his pillow.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, turning onto his side.

They heard a few footsteps pass by their door, but no one knocked.

"Are we…going to tell people?" Ron replied, facing him.

"I'll leave that up to you," Harry replied, "I…well I told Sirius. Kind of. But that's my family. Everyone else is your family. And eventually Hermione will have to know. George knows, obviously. But…I don't want you to be too overwhelmed. I'll be ready when you're ready, okay?" Harry reached out and grabbed Ron's hand. "I'm not going anywhere."

Ron nodded and gave him a crooked smile.

"It makes sense to do it while my whole family is here, I suppose," he said quietly, "I just guess I'm worried they'll think…I don't know. Like that it has something to do with what I did."

Harry nodded. It was then that Mrs. Weasley called up to them for breakfast.

"Let's have breakfast first," Ron said with a shy laugh.

"There's no rush," Harry told him, "I promise."

"Okay," Ron said in a small voice.

[][][][][][][]

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything."

"Don't apologize, I totally understand."

"I just need some time. I know they'll be okay with it…it just seems like a lot for me right now."

Harry chuckled and pulled Ron close, shushing him with a kiss.

"You don't have to explain," Harry assured him, "Whenever you're ready. I love you know matter who knows about it, okay?"

It was later that night, and Harry and Ron were snuggled tightly together under Harry's blanket. Harry had been pleased to see that Ron had appeared to have a good day. They had exchanged a lot of furtive smiles throughout the day, and at one point while the others had been busy cleaning up after lunch, Ron had dragged Harry into their bedroom and they had spent several minutes kissing, leaning against the door.

"You're amazing," Ron whispered, he grabbed onto one of Harry's arms and tugged while he kissed him.

Harry chuckled and swung his leg over Ron's waist so he was on top of him.

"Better?" He whispered, sliding his hands up Ron's sides underneath his shirt.

"Yeah," Ron said with a happy sigh.

"And you're the one who's amazing," Harry murmured, leaning down and kissing his jaw, "You make me so happy." He kissed his neck and felt Ron squirm slightly underneath him. "And I could literally kiss you all day long."

"Go ahead," Ron replied breathlessly, sliding his hands up Harry's back, "Kiss me all you want. I'm yours."

Harry felt growl rise in his throat as his body physically reacted to these words in a possessive, animalistic sort of way, and he felt Ron dig into his back in response. Harry smiled slightly and bit Ron sharply on the neck, and felt him squirm again.

"Say it again," Harry said gruffly.

"I'm yours," Ron repeated immediately, "All yours." He was digging his fingers deeper into Harry's back and raised his hips slightly.

"Like that, do you?" Harry murmured against Ron's neck, biting him softly.

"Yes," Ron whispered, almost whining.

"Good," Harry said, pushing himself up so he was straddling Ron's waist, looking down at him. Ron looked back, almost expectantly. "I love you," Harry whispered, placing his hand on the side of Ron's face and stroking his cheek with his thumb.

Something glistened in Ron's eye and after a moment he said,

"I love you, too." He pushed himself into a seated position and pulled off his shirt, then grabbed the bottom of Harry's while looking him in the eye with a pleading expression.

"Ron…" Harry said softly, but allowing Ron to pull his shirt off. "I don't…" He started to say, but trailed off as Ron reached a hand behind his neck and pulled him close, kissing and gently biting his neck, making Harry's brain go slightly fuzzy.

"Please," Ron whispered between kisses.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Harry replied, though he was a teenage boy and his body certainly felt ready, and from what he could feel beneath him on Ron's body…Ron was ready too, he was actually more concerned about what could happen emotionally.

"Yes," Ron responded heavily, "I want to. Please."

Ron had grabbed Harry's waistband and lowered it slightly. Harry breathed heavily, closing his eyes. There was a small part of him that was telling him it might be too soon, but with every kiss and every 'please' Ron uttered, the thought went further from his brain.

"Okay," Harry finally whispered, and Ron raised his head from Harry's neck and smiled at him, Harry gently kissed him and said, "But if you change your mind, ever, at any point, you just say no, or stop, okay? And we'll stop."

"Okay," Ron replied.

[][][][][][][]

"Are you okay?" Harry asked for what seemed the hundredth time as he and Ron lay together, he was still breathless, and Ron was laying against him with his head on Harry's chest, arm slung across his stomach.

"I'm fine," Ron said with a small laugh, "Stop asking."

"Sorry," Harry said softly, absently running his hand through Ron's damp hair, they were both still covered in sweat, "You look like…like it hurt."

"It did at first…then it stopped," Ron murmured.

"Good," Harry said, sighing in relief, "And how are you…?"

"I promise I'm fine," Ron replied, "Really. I wanted to. Didn't you?"

Ron sat up now and looked at Harry with a worried expression. Harry smiled gently and grabbed Ron and pulled them both down so they were laying next to each other. Harry kissed him firmly.

"I did," he reassured Ron, "But…you were the one who had to deal with the painful part."

"Mm well…" Ron turned slightly red, "I don't mind."

Harry sighed contentedly and laid down on his pillow. "You are perfect, you know that?"

"Stop," Ron said with an embarrassed sort of laugh, laying his head back on Harry's chest, "I'm not. I'm a mess."

"You're perfect to me," Harry argued, "I wish…I wish we could have been together sooner."

"Really?" Ron whispered, gripping Harry's waist tightly. His tone made Harry's heart break slightly.

"Really," Harry said softly, he angled himself so he could kiss the top of Ron's head.

Only a few minutes later he could tell by the way Ron was breathing heavily that he had fallen asleep. Thinking about the fact that they were both nude, Harry grappled for his wand on the night stand and cast a locking charm on their door, then he relaxed, wrapping both arms around Ron tightly. Everything felt so peaceful, yet there was something nagging at him still that he couldn't identify. Ron seemed fine. But yet he had done something so huge, so harmful to himself, that made Harry wonder. How could he be so fine so quickly? So ready to maintain a relationship with Harry. So ready to lose his virginity. So quick to talk about love. To be open.

Harry looked down at Ron, laying on him asleep. No longer having nightmares. He, of course, hoped that Ron was actually okay. Was actually at peace with himself. And he also hoped that if Ron wasn't okay, that he would tell Harry about it. Talk to him. Harry suddenly felt overwhelmed, and almost ashamed. He thought back to his conversation with George, when he had accused him of taking advantage of Ron, and then warning him to be careful. Harry sighed and looked down at Ron again.

I'm not, he thought to himself, I'm not taking advantage. I do love him.

He tightened his grip around Ron and squeezed his eyes closed, trying to slow down his thoughts. Ron shifted inside his grip and Harry exhaled slowly.

"Are you okay?" Ron's voice drifted up to him and Harry opened his eyes.

"Yeah," Harry said quietly, "I'm fine, go back to sleep, I have you."

As soon as he was sure Ron was asleep, Harry removed his glasses and put them on the night stand, and tried to empty his mind enough to fall asleep.

They awoke the following morning to the beckoning of breakfast. Harry, although he had slept some, felt very groggy. Ha yawned and stretched as Ron got dressed, then caught himself looking at Ron's shoulder, which had a bruise, then he felt a jolt when he realized it was from him.

"I did hurt you," he said, standing up and walking over.

Ron looked startled when Harry gently touched his shoulder, the bruise up close was now a fairly visible outline of what had been his palm and thumb.

"I didn't notice," Ron told him quickly, "It's really okay."

"I'm sorry," Harry said with a sigh, "I didn't realize I…was being so aggressive." He turned slightly red, remembering that there had been a moment where he had been listening to his body, and not his mind, and knew he had gotten slightly out of control, without considering how Ron had felt at the time.

But Ron had suddenly smiled at him, and, looking slightly shy, he grabbed Harry's hands and said,

"It's really okay. I…liked it."

Harry couldn't help but smile back, despite feeling guilty. "Of course you did," he laughed quietly, "I didn't have to grab you so hard, though."

"Wrong," Ron said, stepping closer and pushing himself against Harry, then kissed him, causing Harry to suddenly get goosebumps, "That just made it better." He deepened the kiss, slipping his hands around Harry's still nude waist, Harry gripped his arms and pulled him closer, very aware that the door was still locked from when he had charmed it last night. He felt Ron's fingers start to dig into his back, and he felt himself grow very warm. As Ron began to work his way from Harry's mouth down to his neck, where Harry's mind always started to go fuzzy, he felt his fingers instinctively start to find their way to Ron's jeans, but when he heard voices carry from downstairs, he refrained.

"Wait," he murmured in a choked voice, "Uh…" He trailed off when he felt the continuous kissing on his neck and Ron's fingers dig in even deeper into his back. He took a steadying breath and tried again. "We should stop."

"Why?" Ron murmured against his neck, "Don't you want to…?" his hands snaked back to Harry's waist and started to slide down. Harry quickly grabbed Ron's hands and said,

"Yes…I do…but…maybe not right now, okay?" He took one look at Ron's expression and had to laugh in spite of himself, "Don't pout! There's always later." He placed his fingers under Ron's chin and lifted it so he could kiss him. "Be patient."

"Easy to say," Ron said, smiling, "You better get dressed then."

Once dressed and downstairs, seated at the breakfast table, much of the anxious thoughts Harry had been having were mostly gone. Instead, his mind was plagued with the memories of the night before, which was unfortunately making breakfast an uncomfortable meal for him. But he couldn't stop remembering the looks on Ron's face, the sensations, and the noises he had made were what had made Harry nearly lose his mind, though he had continuously had to tell Ron to be quiet but it had seemed impossible. And Harry could not get the noises out. The gasping, moaning, swearing, and the damn begging-

Harry suddenly choked on his juice when he felt his body turn very hot at the memory.

"You okay?" Ron asked, turning to him.

Harry coughed, cleared his throat, and nodded. When he went back to eating he suddenly felt a hand on his thigh and froze for a moment. Ron squeezed lightly then dropped his hand. Harry smiled inwardly. After breakfast Mrs. Weasley requested their help in taking down decorations. Harry was grateful for a distraction. Ron offered to clear out the tinsel and lights from the hallways, while Harry started to take down the tree. Mr. Weasley, Charlie, and Bill were all talking with Sirius and Lupin, and Hermione and Ginny were helping Mrs. Weasley with the laundry that needed done before everyone had to pack up to go back to Hogwarts. Fred and George were no where to be found at the moment.

Harry had taken down the last decoration off the tree and packed it away. He glanced around, then headed upstairs to help Ron, who was no longer in the hallway. Harry peeked into their bedroom and did not see him either. But when he looked in the opposite direction his heart dropped slightly when he saw the door to the study wad open. Quickly he jogged to the room.

Ron was standing there, seemingly frozen, as he looked at the spot where he had been found. Harry walked over quietly and placed a hand on his arm, Ron did not move.

"Come on," Harry said gently, "Let's get out of here."

"I thought I…" Ron said shakily, "I wanted to see."

"It's okay," Harry said, he tried to pull Ron away but he still didn't move, "Ron, come on. You don't have to be in here." He stepped in front of Ron and grabbed his other arm. "Let's go."

"I thought I didn't remember," Ron said, and Harry could feel him quivering, "But I do."

"Don't think about it," Harry told him, but he wasn't even sure Ron could hear him, his breathing had gotten shorter and more rapid, and he still wasn't looking at Harry. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

Ron pulled his arms away from Harry and stepped closer toward a cupboard that was behind the desk. It was now that Harry noticed the various bottles, poisons. He stepped over and held Ron back. Harry was worried now, unsure of what was going on. It seemed like Ron was barely even aware that Harry was in the room with him.

"Ron," Harry tried again, "Come on. Look at me. You're okay." He placed one hand on Ron's back and noticed that Ron was now, whether or not he was aware of it, was scratching obsessively at the cuts on his wrists, that were still not fully healed but only stabbed over. Harry tried to grab his hands but Ron kept pulling away.

Harry glanced around, thinking. He needed help. But there was no way he was going to leave Ron alone in here. He thought about the elixirs that had been sent from St. Mungo's. But they were downstairs. Then he heard laughter from next door. Fred and George. The room they shared was next to the study. He walked over to the wall they shared and pounded on it several times. He went back to Ron, who was still clawing at his wrists, looking very pale. Harry grabbed his hands again to stop him.

"Ron, look at me," Harry said firmly, but Ron was looking right past him. Wherever Ron was, he was not there, and Harry was terrified.

"I was supposed to die," Ron said through his shaky, frantic breathing, "I was supposed to die."

"Ron, stop!" Harry said loudly.

"What's going on?" said a voice finally, the twins had entered the room. George immediately rushed to Ron's side.

"I…I don't know," Harry cried, "I think he's having a panic attack or something. Those potions, they're downstairs."

"I'll get them," Fred said quickly, sprinting out of the room,calling for his mother.

"Let's get him out of here," George said to Harry, taking one of Ron's arms, but it was then that Ron dropped to his knees, heaving heavy sobs. Harry immediately dropped down too, in front of him.

"Ron, come on," Harry whispered, George knelt beside him.

"I just wanted it to stop," Ron choked out, "And now I don't know if I'm supposed to be here. Am I supposed to be here?"

Harry could feel everything inside him crumble. This was the nagging feeling that he had had. That everything Ron seemed to be pushing aside, or avoiding with Harry by wrapping himself up in them, was coming out now. As carefully as he could, Harry pulled Ron close and held him tightly, feeling Ron's body wracking as he sobbed.

"You're supposed to be here," Harry said firmly, "You are, okay? Just try to slow down, try to breathe."

There were approaching footsteps down the hall but Harry did not look up or let go. He just held tightly, wishing any of Ron's pain would go away, even for a moment.

"I drank it and it didn't work," Ron gasped into his shoulder, Harry squeezed his eyes shut, the pain in Ron's voice was so evident that it practically stabbed him in the gut, "I didn't know what else to do. I just had to make it stop."

"You're safe now," Harry murmured to him, he heard several footsteps enter the room, but he still didn't look up, "You're safe with me. You're always safe with me. I love you."

Ron did not speak again, but continued to cry. Harry felt the presence of two figures bending down by them, he opened his eyes. Bill and Charlie were grabbing Ron underneath the arms. Harry let him go.

"Come on," Charlie said gently. Much stronger than Harry, he was able to get Ron to his feet, and him and Bill guided him out the door. Mr. Weasley, one of the other sets of feet Harry had heard, followed them. Fred, Ginny, and Hermione were standing by the door also. Hermione was crying, and Fred looked ashen. Ginny was staring at Harry, arms crossed, with one hand lightly covering her mouth as she looked at Harry.

Harry sighed heavily and sat back off of his knees. He was shaking and hadn't realized it. He looked over at George, who also looked pained and overwhelmed.

"I was waiting for that to happen," he said gravely.

"I think I was, too," Harry replied. He looked over at Hermione, who, like Ginny, was staring at him now. Harry then realized he had admitted his love to Ron in front of them, if they had been in there at the moment he had. But no one said anything.

"Where'd they take him?" Harry asked, getting to his feet.

"Your room," Fred replied, "Mums going to make him take both elixirs. Needs some good rest. Says he should have been taking them since he got back."

Harry walked out of the study and went straight to his and Ron's room. Bill and Charlie were standing over Mrs. Weasley, who was sitting on the edge of the bed Ron was already asleep in. Mrs. Weasley, with tears running down her face, was wrapping bandages around Ron's arms, which were bleeding again from the incessant scratching.

"Passed right out after we made him take those potions," Charlie said, his arms folded over his chest, "Hopefully he'll sleep for a while."

Harry didn't say anything. He sat down on the cot and rested his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. He took a deep breath, trying to shake his nerves, but he still felt very on edge. Mrs. Weasley had finished bandaging Ron and was now holding his hand and stroking his hair off his face. Harry hoped that Ron slept for a while, too. He felt Ron needed a break. A mental rest. He felt like he needed one, too.