Morphie: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I finally get a break from school! I was going to write yesterday, but the muses were helping my mom clean the house. Hopefully, they're back now and I can try to write something as good as these past chapters.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. If I did, I would have given the Trix rabbit his cereal back in 1980 when they started those stupid commercials. Cameos I don't own: The Ring, "The Brady Bunch," and James and the Giant Peach.

Randolph…Randolph…Randolph…silly rabbit…fruit…kids…

Randolph found himself hunched over the Porcelain King, at whose feet he had spent the night. The argillaceous god had aided him in storing the contents of his stomach, but it had yet to solve the problems of his life.

Heh…Heh heh…that wasn't funny, Randolph, get off the stinkin' john!

Heeding the words of his mind/conscience/invisible friend, Randolph heaved himself off the toilet and into the shower. After drowning his sorrows for a good twenty minutes, he turned off the water, grabbed a towel, and headed to the kitch-

The living room! He was headed to the living room! Not the kitch..en…

Randolph flipped on the TV using his all-powerful mind and remote. Immediately, through an unauthorized showing of nightmare-like images and pictures, the phone rang, informing Randolph that he had seven days…until…something. The little girl on the phone (he hoped she was a little girl, and not the King of Pop) and simply said, "Seven days." This could mean anything from "Seven days until you die" or "Seven days until your eviction notice." He guessed it was the latter and quickly took care of that.

"Thank you, mysterious girl!" Randolph cried, and quickly copied the video and showed it to everyone in his apartment, so they too could share in the glory of the "lucky" video.

Now that he had finished this, he headed to the kitch-

The door! He went to the door! He fancied a walk in the park! He wasn't even thinking of going to the kitchen! He grabbed a trench coat, hat, and shoes, hoped he looked like a man, and went out the door.

Randolph walked in the park and pondered all the things park-walkers ponder. Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? What will I eat for lunch? How long will the bird poo take to wash off? Do you think that dog thinks I'm a rabbit?

Suddenly, he saw a show that was very similar to "The Brady Bunch" and decided to watch it live.

"That Dave Johnny is so delicious," Randolph thought to himself, regardless that Dave Johnny was a human and male.

When the show similar to "The Brady Bunch" was over, Dave Johnny entered the stage to shrieks and screams of girls (and Randolph.)

"WE LOVE YOU DAVE JOHNNY!!!" the girls screamed, and when Dave Johnny winked in their direction, worlds in outer space came to an end.

"Hello everybody!" sang Dave Johnny (he might as WELL have sang it, with that voice.) "In honor of the opening of this new movie, we will be giving away one. Giant. Peach!!!"

Screams again. Randolph's mouth dropped to the floor. YES!!!

"Now, all you have to do is answer this one question. Any volunteers?"

Randolph raised his hand, along with countless others.

"Yes, you, the one with the non-suspicious looking trench coat and hat!"

Randolph leapt up to the stage.

"And here is your question! What is the most popular asylum in Toon Town?"

I know this one! "Asylum for the Normal Mental Person, Dave!"

"You are correct! Here's the peach!" And with that, Dave Johnny mysteriously disappeared.

Randolph had the peach (which was not that giant) in hand. He raised it to his mouth--

--and all of Dave Johnny's fan girls jumped on him and ate it before Randolph could even blink.

"$##$!" Randolph cursed. "!$#$&& &$$###&$##&!!"

"Dude," said a fan girl. "Maybe you should, like, go to a psychiatrist."

So that's exactly what Randolph did.

He went to the nearest phone book, and looked up the most successful toon psychiatrist in town. There was only one.

Doctor Shatner, Ph. D.

"Tomorrow, I WILL GO!" cried Randolph.

"Dude, you don't have to, like, scream," the fan girl muttered.

Morphie: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Reviews give me the inspiration for more chapters. So more reviews, more chapters. And that means more happy readers! SO REVIEW! NOW! I welcome constructive critism!