Swann's Note: Hey there. First attempt at POTC, on popular demand (from Fly Like A Blueberry Pie...I hope I do it justice!). The only warning I've got for you folks is that it hasn't been beta-ed...I'd love it if someone could. I'm also looking for advice on what'll be chapter 3, a cooking adventure. It'd be much appreciated if you dropped a review, I'm all for advice. Also, this is an attempt at humor, I dunno if it's any good...if you don't like it in a review, though, I beg of you, BEG of you to tell me what I could do to improve it...I'm here to please!
Full Summary: Jack, Will, and Elizabeth are sent to the future. What complete chaos will ensue? Slight, teensy bit of JackElizabeth.
Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd be rich. I'm not rich. In fact, I don't even own the cup I'm drinking tea from, it's my friend's. Point is, all belongs to that little rat-er-mouse.
"You have to."
"Looks dangerous."
"I swear it's not. Look, Elizabeth and Will are already inside."
"I still don't trust it. That…iPody-thing of yours nearly blasted my ears out!"
"That's because you turned the sound up, Jack. And a car is not going to hurt you."
Jack and Em had been arguing for the past five minutes…Em was attempting to force him into her minivan, but he had been persistent.
You see…somehow Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swann had stumbled across her, Emily McIntire, exiting the theater after a midnight showing of Dead Man's Chest. They followed her home like lost puppies, and now she was hiding them from her parents by taking them to her favorite place, which was proving difficult, seeing that the Great Jack Sparrow had a fear of cars.
"What about…that…thing?"
"The seatbelt?"
"Yeah…the…seabelt."
"Seatbelt, Jack. It just helps you stay inside the car. It's so that you don't fall out."
"Fine…I'll try it. But if it…I dunno, turns into Davy's said beastie, I get to run."
"Of course, Jack. Now, just get in."
"AH! IT'S HOT!" Jack practically screamed as he touched the metal on the seatbelt.
"Hmm, I wonder why. It's only 105 degrees outside." Elizabeth said, pulling her own on.
"That may be the case Lizzie, but it still looks exceedingly dangerous." Jack said.
"Has it swallowed me yet? No. Get in." Elizabeth now looked genuinely annoyed…it had happened a lot since the incident…
"Well, the beastie wasn't after you, as you so kindly reminded me on the Pearl, luv." Jack replied with a smirk.
Will looked like he was about to stick his tongue out at Jack.
"Well, I…I….the circumstances were completely-!" Elizabeth tried futilely to protest.
"No need to speak, luv. I think that you've already gone through all the stages of denial. Anger, sadness…" Jack's gold tooth was now completely visible as that "infuriating smirk" broadened.
"Oh, shut up."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because…?"
"Because you look far too good for your own good, or anyone else's, for that matter. Plus the fact that you're a pirate, you're despicable, you're obsessed with rum, you're arrogant, and you're….you're…you're just completely awful and…and dirty! And that bloody compass doesn't bloody work!" Elizabeth looked ready to strangle him.
"Still doesn't work, then? Seems you're still in denial…" Now Jack was completely smiling and almost laughing, though something else betrayed the façade in his eyes.
"Oh, will you two stop being such…children? We're nearly there, anyway!" Em said.
"Where exactly are we going?" Will finally asked, gritting his teeth.
"Oh, you'll see, Will….you'll see…"
"Welcome to Disneyland!" Em shouted, throwing her arms out and breathing in deeply as they entered the magical theme park.
"Disneyland?" Jack asked suspiciously, looking around.
"Disneyland." Em confirmed, leading the way into the park.
"So…this is where we were heading? You took us on a two hour drive in that gigantic…machine for this?" Jack asked, reluctantly following.
"Oh, Jack, stop being such an idiot! I'm positive that it's a delightful place!" Elizabeth insisted.
"It's that optimistic thinking got you a compass that's broken, luv." Jack's smirk returned.
"Jack Sparrow, I am going to strangle you until you're beady little dreadlocks pop off!" Elizabeth looked ready to do just that as she quickened her pace behind Em and Will, who remained oblivious.
"Thanks for the sentiment, luv. S'not my fault that my compass points to yours truly…and it's Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack's smirk, if possible, widened as he looked suddenly delighted.
"I knew it! Jack Sparrow, I'm going to help her strangle you until you beady little, black, infuriating eyes pop out!" Will had spun around, walking backwards, looking murderous.
"Really, mate, thanks for the niceties, and my eyes are brown." Jack insisted, smirk faltering slightly.
"Will you three shut up?" Em finally asked from the front of the group.
"'Fraid not." Came Jack's reply.
"No! He kissed my fiancé!" Will said, turning back around
"He's being the despicable pirate that he is! And Will, I did that for you're safety!" Elizabeth half-shouted.
"Don't pretend you didn't enjoy it, luv…" Jack was now officially giving her his winning smile.
"OH, YOU-!"
"SHUT UP! Thank you. Now that we're all calm, I would like to present you THE one and only…Hollywood Tower of TERROR!" Em said, gesturing to the haunted-hotel ride that she had the displeasure of riding when she was eleven.
"Looks like a torn-up version of the Pearl when they mutinied…only it's a building, obviously." Jack said, twirling a little bit of his mustache around his finger as he surveyed the ride.
"Are those really people screaming?" Will asked, somewhat calmed.
"Oh, yes, Will. Screams of terror from being on a runaway elevator in a haunted hotel…" Em said quietly, her eyes darkening at the very mention of the Tower.
"Frightening. Shall we go on?" Elizabeth said confidently, leading the group to the entrance.
"Oh, I'll just stay behind…" Em said, pushing Jack forward, smirking.
Elizabeth just gave her a dubious look, but proceeded through the entrance.
"That…was…bloody…brilliant!" Jack slurred, barely being able to walk as he held up his pointer finger gesturing vaguely to the ride.
"I must agree with you on that!" Elizabeth could barely talk…she had almost lost her voice from screaming so much.
Will walked along, petrified, not even trying to flatten his hair that was sticking almost straight up.
"So, what did you think?" Em asked expectantly, holding back a laugh as Elizabeth steered Jack in the right direction.
"Good…very good. Though I'm dizzy, and I felt like my face was about to fall off when we went down." Jack said, regaining his composure and grinning insanely.
"I'm loosing my voice…but it was positively brilliant! Will, did you see the ghosts at the beginning? And then the portrait when we were waiting in line! It all seemed so real!" Elizabeth said, grinning like Jack.
"Will, you looked like you've seen a ghost." Em said innocently while Will just nodded.
"Remind me to never go on an elevator or watch The Twilight Zone again…" Was all Will said as he followed them, zombie like (the hair didn't help the matter) to lunch.
"So, here's the menu, just look through it and order what you think you would like." Em said, handing a menus out at their table at Sebatin's, one of the most fancy lunch/dinner restaurants in California.
"What's that?" Jack asked, taking a small handful of caviar and popping it in his mouth.
"Says it's caviar…these aren't bad, actually." Elizabeth said, dishing herself up a little bit.
"What is it?" Will asked, examining a piece (his zombie state was gone, even though his hair was still a bit messed up).
"You really want to know?" Em asked, a smile creeping on her face as she reached for the calamari.
"'Course." Came Jack's reply as he continued to stuff his mouth with it.
"Fish eggs." Em said, biting into a piece of calamari.
Will, Elizabeth, and Jack all got identical looks of disgust and slowly dropped their forks and (in Jack's case) hands.
"Oh." Jack said, his lip twitching.
A few moments passed as Jack and Elizabeth stared at their meals as though they were poison and Will ate as though he hadn't in hours (which he hadn't). Finally, Jack broke the silence by pointing to the calamari that Em was still eating.
"And I suppose that that's rattlesnake, eh?" He asked, smiling slightly.
Elizabeth and Em both raised their eyebrows.
"You'll never go near calamari again…" Em warned, biting into another piece.
"Tell me." Jack persisted, examining a large piece that he had plucked out of Em's hands.
"It's squid."
Jack dropped it with a slight yelp and pushed it away from him, muttering about terrible leviathan beasties and how they should be left in the depths permanently while Will, Elizabeth, and Em chuckled.
"Welcome to the one, the only-!"
"Cut to the chase, Em. As long as it's not an elevator, I'm in." Will said, pinning down his hair determinedly.
"Alright, then!" Em said, resembling Jack too much for anyone's liking, "Welcome to California Screamin', Mr. William Turner."
"California Screamin'?" Jack asked, eyeing the rollercoaster warily.
"Yep, the horri-eh…wonderful pride of California Adventure, Captain." Em said, throwing a discrete glance at Elizabeth. She took that look to mean only one thing…
"I feel ill." Will said, stepping drunkenly off of the rollercoaster. Sure enough, his face was a sickly shade of green from going upside down, and his hair was sticking up in all directions despite the pins.
"Pride of the Adventure California…" Jack said. Then he stopped when Elizabeth giggled, looking puzzled, "I mean…pride of California Adventure, that is."
Em just smiled, "I see that you enjoyed yourself…what did you think of going upside down? Quite interesting, isn't it?"
"Oh, yes…I felt like I just drank five bottles of rum afterward, though…could barely walk." Elizabeth said, plopping down on the bench next to Jack.
"Really? I always feel like that…" Jack said, earning another giggle from Elizabeth.
Will broke the comfortable silence, his hair still sticking out in all directions.
"Em, any idea where the loo is?"
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