Swann's Note: Hey there. A special thanks to all my reviewers (I'm so lazy...I'm
not even putting the names down ;), and a special, special, SPECIAL thanks to
Fly Like A Blueberry Pie for being my wonderful beta, AND adding this fic to
their faves! You rock!
Also, if you could drop a review, tell me what you did/didn't like about this
chappie/fic in general. I know that this chapter's considerably shorter than the
first...you likey?
Disclaimer: A peice of chewing gum recently informed me that I don't own POTC.
That peice of chewing gum also informed me that I am in no way, shape, or form,
going to inherit the Hilton's fortune. You know what else? That SAME piece of
chewing gum informed me that chewing gum can't talk. Hmph.
"Time to go SHOPPING!" Em shouted up the stairs. Her parents were on yet another
errand…so she was going to get her "company" used to clothes shopping…after all,
some fan girls had already tried attacking…
"'S too early…" Jack groaned as Elizabeth and Em went into Jack and Will's room,
shaking them awake. They were sharing the bunk bed in the guest bedroom…it was a
little less then comfortable.
"Jack, get up." Elizabeth said, poking him in the side. Hard.
"Good Lord, Lizzie, I didn't need to use my intuitive sense of the female mind
to get that much out of it…" Jack said as Will tried and failed to comb his hair
(some of the pins from the rollercoaster incident were still imbedded there).
"Welcome to Charlotte Russe, Liz." Em said, letting Elizabeth, Jack, and Will
pass in front of her into her favorite store ever. The music blared the minute
they entered…the more Elizabeth looked at the clothes, the look of disgust on
her face grew.
"What's this? Is that a skirt? It's two inches long!" She exclaimed, holding up
a "short" skirt that actually fell a little above her knees. Jack looked as
though, if he wasn't Captain Jack Sparrow, would die of happiness right there.
Will, on the other hand, was busying himself looking a the spiked high heel
shoes.
"Liz, it's called a miniskirt. We're not in eighteenth century Caribbean
anymore, remember?" Em said, finding Elizabeth's size and adding it into the
large pile of clothes she was holding for Elizabeth to try on.
"Is this a skirt?" Jack asked, holding up a tube top, confused.
"Jack, that's called a tube top. So, no, it's not a skirt." Em replied, smiling
slightly. It certainly was interesting shopping with pirates…
"Brilliant." Jack said, smiling winningly and shoving it into Em's pile of
clothes. Elizabeth just looked at him, disgusted.
"You are the most-" She started, only to be cut off by Em, who was already
busying herself with Will in the shoes.
"Look at these! They'll match that tube top and skirt perfectly!" She was
holding up a pair of sandals with three inch heels.
Elizabeth groaned. "They're five inches tall!"
"Exactly the point, luv…exactly the point." Jack said, smirking, as he examined
the heels.
"I still think that it's disgraceful." Elizabeth said, pouting slightly, as they
made their way to Nordstrom for Will and Jack's clothes. She was wearing a
"short" skirt, a short sleeve shirt with a skull on it, and the three inch
horror heels. Will and Jack had both looked ready to faint when they saw her,
and Will was still rather white and looking straight ahead determinedly.
"It's not disgraceful. It's fashion." Em insisted, leading the way down the huge
mall.
"Be grateful it's not a corset, luv. I don't think that we want a repeat of that
incident, or do we?" Jack asked from behind, smirking.
"Jack, remember that proposition that I made a while back?" Elizabeth asked
innocently, grinning.
"Which one, luv? I personally preferred the one back on the Pearl, when you said
curiosity would get the better of-"
"No…Jack, I mean the proposition about me strangling you until you're dreadlocks
popped off." Elizabeth interrupted through gritted teeth while Will kept
resolutely looking ahead and Em burst into laughter.
"Ah…we're here."
"It's…"
"Bright? Colorful?"
"Red."
"Yes, Will, it's red."
Em had been attempting to force Will into a bright red t-shirt, while Jack was
examining a tie curiously.
"Will, you're going to wear it." Em persisted, shoving him into the dressing
room with a pair of jeans and the shirt.
"But it's…red!"
"Will…."
"Fine."
As Will shut the door to the dressing room, Jack held up a silver silk tie to
Em, eyeing it warily.
"This goes around you're neck?" He asked, holding it up as though it were about
to choke him, "You're sure this isn't some type of…evil choker of doom….or…or a
rope?"
"Jack, it's fine. It just ties around you're neck, and it won't choke you….and
no, it's definitely not an evil choker of doom, believe me, my dad wears them
all the time…with a suit, Jack, not a t-shirt. We're just getting t-shirts
today…nothing too fancy." Em said wisely as she and Elizabeth examined the
shirts.
"Ha! Jack, try this…" Em handed Jack a navy blue t-shirt, "And…this! That's
perfect!" With a pair of tan Bermuda shorts. Jack complied stepping into a
dressing room just as Will stepped out.
"See? I told you red looks awful…" He insisted, picking nervously at the bright
red tee he was wearing.
"Will, believe me, that looks simply dashing." Elizabeth insisted, nodding her
head and smoothing down her skirt assuredly.
"Oh…okay. Fine. But these are…jeans, right? Very comfortable, I must say." Will
said as he walked back into the dressing room.
"So?" Jack asked expectantly a few minutes later once everyone was changed and
out of the store without much trouble (the woman at the counter had insisted
that Elizabeth and Will looked so like Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightely that it
was scary).
"So what?" Elizabeth asked, following Em to a small hair studio.
"So, what do we do now?" Will asked for Jack, looking in the window of a sword
shop.
"We go and make you…modern." Em said, opening the door of a place called
Jonathon's.
"Oi! I'm keeping the dreadlocks! I got them back in Tortuga!" Jack whined as a
hairdresser insisted that the dreadlocks had to come off.
"Fine. Can you just…I dunno, do something with his hair? And that bandana…"
Elizabeth said, twirling one dreadlock around her finger disdainfully. She'd
already had her hair done-a few inches cut off and the classic Jonathon
curl/layered cut.
"You know you like it, luv." Jack said, smirking at her.
"Oh! You're despicable!" Elizabeth said as she stalked off, leaving the poor
hairdresser to deal with Jack's infamous dreads.
A few hours later, Jack was still in place with his precious hair (earning a few
odd looks), when Em announced they would be going to Sephora.
"Sephora. What is Sephora?" Elizabeth asked, following Em to a huge store with
black and white tiles and blaring music.
"Only the biggest, best make-up store in all of California, Liz." Em said,
opening the doors and greeting the associate at the door with a small nod.
"You mean…" Will gestured vaguely to Jack's widened, kohl-lined eyes.
Em nodded primly, "Now, you boys be good, we'll be two hours at the least. I
need to find Liz some perfume and eye shadow."
"Oi! Lizzie, what do you think of the name of this?" Jack asked from behind
Elizabeth at the perfume counter. As she read the name of the perfume, her eyes
nearly bulged out of her head.
"EM! I'M GONNA PUT A LAWSUIT AGAINST WHOEVER NAMED THIS PERFUME!" She
half-screeched over the blaring music.
"Why would that b-Ah. I see." Em said, smirking as she saw Brittany Spears'
latest perfume: i>In Control: Curious. /i>
A few minutes later, while a make-up artist was giving Elizabeth tips on how to
blend eye shadow, Jack sauntered over, holding a sample of Smashbox's newest
eyeliner.
"Do you see a difference in the eyes?" He asked, examining his left eye in Em's
compact mirror, ""Cause the left eye is the original I got back in Tortuga, and
the right one is…er….Smashbox."
Em had to restrain herself from A: fainting dead away, and/or B: bursting into
maniacal laughter.
"Uh…yeah. I think that if you're going for the sharper look, you should get the
Smashbox. If you want a more smoky, dull look you should stick with the
original." The artist that had been working on Elizabeth said, as Em went into a
long coughing fit and Elizabeth looked as though she wished to die right then
and there.
"Will!" Em shouted, catching Will's attention, who had just sprayed himself in
the face with the Marc Jacobs perfume and was blinking rapidly, nearly knocking
down a shelf in the process, "You spray it away from you!" i>Good Lord /i>, she
thought as she began to explain to Will how to work a perfume bottle, i>What have
I gotten myself into/i>
I don't really know if I did the Sephora part justice...I'll definetly take any
ideas for chapter three, too. The whole rest of the fic, for that matter.
If you're curiosity didn't get the better of you last time, it will now. Go on,
click on the little review button...you know you want to...