Bob the Muse: Wow… chapter five… you really are into this aren't you.
Tenshi: Yep… and it doesn't suck… well according to my view anyways.
Bob: So I'm doing a good job?
Tenshi: Uh… I wouldn't go that far.
Bob: HEY! I'm leaving! stomps off.
Tenshi: He'll be back… unfortunately… oh well, I can reply to reviews in peace:
Isa Lumitus – Thanks for telling me about the anon – forgot I did that after some stupid people… well, I'm not going into a rant – sniff – anywho, thanks for wanting updates – hope two days wasn't to bad? I have 5 and 6 done – but hey, I want to milk the reviews. Hope you stick around.
WiccaGem18536 – SQUIRM you new age hippie! (looks at self), well damn – I'm a new age hippie too – sigh – I get odd looks from my brother, my sister just uses me as a threat when others annoy her ('I will sick my twisted sister on you, she will curse your nose off'). But I love to help siblings keep their relationship interesting- so thanks for the support – and watch out for spy crawling… I did it the other day and threw out my back… owwie.
Django X - Thanks for the support and that little boost in my confidence meter... honestly, i get these idea and think - hmm - that sounds funny but then when i write them they dont seem funny to me - glad to know that people are wetting themselves, oh wait - that was me - er - never mind... just, um, glad you liked it :)
World of Nightmares – Wow, your review was… well, wow. Where to start… hmm… oh – I know – you are soooooo whacked – but I love it- I used to speak pig latin, but I'm a bit rusty now… Is briliantest a real word? Oh who cares, you used it in reference to MY story – so it's a real word and I loves it. Thanks for the continuing support – it makes me all glowy inside (which isn't a good thing, you can see right through me now!). As for Bob, well Bob is this little part of my brain that hates me, and I hate him. But the official story is that I bought him from the Muse store – to help inspire me… he does… occasionally. Man, do I need a lobotomy or what? Thanks again – your reviews make me laugh.
And thanks to Shadow in the Rain who didn't 'officially' review but PM's me, so I don't mind.
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Breaking Point
By TenshiJaki
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"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly; it should be thrown with great force." - Dorothy Parker (I think she reads my stuff…)
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It was Wednesday. That only meant one thing. Movie Night. It was common knowledge that the Titans always had movie night on Wednesday, which was due to the horrible stuff that came on the regular TV channels on this night. Everyone would pick a movie, sit down with a whole table of junk food, and proceed to vegetate for a few hours, unless the alarm sounded. So it was for this night. All of the Titans were sitting on the couch, though everyone was giving Raven a wide section of it for herself, and they debated what they were going to watch.
"I say we watch 'Super Scary Movie: The Revenge" Beastboy was waving this movie around for the others to see.
Robin cast a quick glance over at Raven, "Uh, I don't think so Beastboy, we really didn't have much luck with the last scary movie."
It was also common knowledge about Raven's reaction to that very scary movie, and with her current mental state none of the Titans wanted to risk it happening again. Who knew what 'Fear' would conjure this time.
"What about 'Bears of Caring: Land of Love'?" It was Star's turn to petition her movie but it was quickly shot down. None of the others felt they had the stomach to watch that.
Cyborg was about to put in his opinion when Raven finally spoke. "I have a movie, its called 'Dire Warnings'." The others all looked at her waiting… well for something to happen. Since Monday Raven had been off and today had been more of the same.
Earlier…
It had started off with the Titans gathering together for breakfast. Raven insisted that everyone surrender something from their breakfast to give to Herb so that he could try different things. The others caved, not wishing to face her wrath, and everything had been fine. That was until the smell hit them.
It was ghastly; it smelled like rotten eggs mixed with sour milk and old gym socks that had been left to ferment in a pile of feces. Everyone covered their noses looking around to find the source of the odor. Everyone that is except Raven. She simply sat at the table and carried on as though nothing was wrong, having a quiet chat with Herb.
The Titans searched everywhere but they couldn't place where it was coming from. They found several 'hot spots' but they couldn't find anything that would be causing the smell. Finally they decided to open all the windows and spray every can of air freshener they had. It didn't get rid of the smell but it made it so that it was, at the very least, tolerable.
Meanwhile Raven had finished her breakfast and cleared off the dishes Herb and she had used. None of the others noticed the shiny spot of clear gel that was under her nose, which was just as well, it would have been a dead give away that Raven had been expecting the odor (1). When the others had finally finished with their search they came back to finish breakfast though they had mostly lost their appetites.
Raven just looked at them, cocking her head to the side and smiled. She then proceeded to walk to each of the walls and speak with them. The first wall she walked over to she called Harry. Taking out a piece of paper she proceeded to question Harry about the smell. Occasionally jotting down answers, presumably provided by Harry, she then went over to the next wall. This one was Wendy and she continued this process with all of the walls, the others being Belinda and Mike, before finally coming back to the table. She sat down and looked up at the ceiling.
Ignoring the looks she was getting from her fellow teammates Raven proceeded to question the ceiling, Bernard, about the smell. She nodded a few times, writing down what Bernard had to say, she then thanked them all. Finally she looked at the others and in a stage whisper stated, "You know, I don't think Bernard knows what he is talking about."
After confiding in the others that the walls thought the smell was coming from the couch, the monitor and a few other places (which were correct), Raven got up and left the room. The others just shook their heads and wondered what could have happened to their normally sane friend that would cause such a change. Naturally they didn't follow up on the 'walls' leads.
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And so it was night, the windows were still open because the smell was still there, and all of the Titans were now looking at Raven waiting for the other shoe to drop as they say.
"Well? Do you want to watch it?"
The others just looked questionably at each other. Shrugging, Cyborg was the first to speak up. "'Dire Warnings'? Sounds interesting."
The others nodded and so they all settled in to watch Raven's movie. As she got off the couch and proceeded to put the movie into the player she was fighting back the smile that was attempting to take over her face. She managed to get it back under control by the time she had the movie set up and resumed her seat on the couch.
Sitting back she hit play on the remote and watched as the huge screen light up with 'FBI WARNING'. And so it proceeded. Every minute or so a new 'WARNING' would come on the screen, leaving them enough time to read them, though in all honesty who really reads those things.
At first the others thought it was the normal start of a normal movie. After about five minutes though they began to get suspicious. After fifteen minutes of nothing but different FBI warnings they were pretty sure they knew what was going on. Robin finally spoke up.
"Uh, Rae?"
"Shh… I'm watching the movie."
"Well, I was just wondering… what is this movie about anyways?"
He quelled a little at the glare she sent him but he didn't look away.
"Duh, it's about warnings, 'Dire Warnings' didn't give it away? Now hush – its getting good."
The others just looked at their friend strangely, which was becoming second nature to them now, and then proceeded to watch the remainder of the movie, which took almost two hours.
Afterwards Beastboy sat on the couch looking a little pale. "I had no idea there were that many different FBI warnings… I think I'm going to need therapy." They others just nodded.
Raven meanwhile was stretching like a cat with a little smile on her face. "Was that not the best? You guys want to watch it again?"
There was a chorus of 'No's' though they were weak, the others still hadn't forgotten what had happened to Bob. Raven however just shrugged.
"Oh, well poo."
Beastboy choked a little, "Did you just say 'poo'?
Raven just looked over at him before she fell to the ground, holding her sides, laughing. "Hahahaha, you said poo!"
After a few minutes she whipped her eyes and looked over a Robin. "Hey Robin, what is the definition of a Titan?"
Robin looked a little worried, "Uh, well, it's a Titans duty…"
He was cut off by a loud screech, which turned out to be Raven having another fit of laughter.
"Hahahahahahaha, oh my sides, you said doodie…"
The others just stared at her thinking of different ways they might have to use to sedate her. It was Robin who finally figured out something (took him some time eh). Looking puzzled he looked at his hysterical comrade.
"Uh Raven?"
"Doodie…"
"Right, Rae, why isn't anything blowing up?"
That stopped all laughter from Raven. Wide-eyed she looked around at the gathered Titans and simply went blank for a moment. There was a very good reason that nothing had blown up, and it was simply that she wasn't really laughing per say. She was acting like she was. She wasn't felling anything but she couldn't let the others know. Then they would know she had been pretending the whole time. She had worked too hard on her plan to see it end now.
"Huh, guess I'm CURED!" Raven proceeded to then jump around madly, grabbing random people and taking them with her. When she grabbed Robin she leaned over and licked his face. Needless to say he was stunned. When she grabbed Beastboy she proceeded to bite his shoulder. Needless to say he past out right afterwards. When she grabbed Starfire she proceeded to smell her hair. Needless to say Star smelled Ravens right back. When she grabbed Cyborg she proceeded to take his arm and smack his own butt with it. Needless to say Cyborg was laughing said butt off. All in all Raven felt she had defused the situation nicely.
TBC…
1 – Coroners use a clear gel to mask the smell of the dead bodies some times, its like that smelly stuff people use when they are sick… to clear the sinus's – its very strong and when applied directly under the nose makes it impossible to smell anything else… forgot what it's called. Oh well.
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Tenshi: YAY! Another chapter finished!
Bob: Hmm – that was quick… a little too quick.
Tenshi: Shut it Bob. I'm doing damned good.
Bob: Hey, I only report the facts… the last chapter only took you an hour to do and this one took you even less time – I think your quality might be suffering.
Tenshi: The facts Bob?
Bob: Yep – the people have a right to know.
Tenshi: Why do I put up with you?
Bob: Because of the no refund/ no return Muse store policy.
Tenshi: Oh yes, I had forgotten... damn.
Bob: But like I was saying… you could spend more time and make these chapters longer.
Tenshi: I still have 16 more to go!
Bob: There you go with that whining again.
Tenshi: glares. Four pages aren't good enough for you?
Bob: Nope. It's you who said we write for the people – they want more Ten – MOOOORRRREEEE!
Tenshi: Uh huh… I'm not touching that one… Anywho – I found the site again that had the list that inspired this fic… it's at www. angelfire. com/ ak /Cair Paravel /annoying stuff . html (no spaces, none)– so yeah – go read it – its long but funny – see if you can pick out which ones have been used or tell me if you want to see one worked in. That is all.
Seriously though, i have the next chapter done, look for it in two days, and i'm working on the seventh one now, first scene done - you guys should give me some ideas... i mean, you all are obviously crazy in your own right - you're reading my stuff... bye bye.