Teal'c
I have found it to be advantageous for the Taur'i to believe that I do not understand any of their customs – a tactic which is apparently not unknown to the Taur'i people themselves. O'Neill, for example, feigns ignorance and disinterest in many situations where he wishes his opponent to underestimate him. I believe, therefore, that this is an acceptable tactical manoeuver. I do not withhold information which has been requested by my friends and allies, of course, however it is mildly amusing to observe their verbal acrobatic scramblings while attempting to explain things I most likely would have been successful in surmising on my own. That being said, there are still a few activities in which the Taur'i seemingly willingly partake, the meaning of which continue to elude me. I have decided in my downtime to conquer these mysteries, if possible.
O'Neill has introduced me to a few activities which now top my list of inexplicable Taur'i behaviour patterns. I have chosen to explore the "game", as the Taur'i refer to it, of golf. Many Taur'i games I am readily able to determine the value of – strenuous physical activity, working as a cooperative team, improving general accuracy/strength/endurance, sharpening one's skills in observance of surroundings, mastering tactical strategies, and learning to read one's opponent's body language in order to interpret their intentions. To my mind, these are all admirable goals to spend one's time "having fun". To the best of my abilities, however, I am unable to determine how golf fits well into any of the above categories. It is a game without active opponents, where you use a metal stick to propel a white dimpled ball towards a hole marked by a brightly-coloured flag. Though it seems preferable to engage in these activities with either a partner or in a "foursome", you can neither help nor hinder the progress of your companions. Neither the ball nor the flag alter their positions without your direct individual effort, and the stance which O'Neill attempted to demonstrate to me leaves you completely open to attack from every direction barring directly beneath you. The physical activity required is minimal, especially during "driving" practice, as O'Neill once kindly demonstrated using the Stargate. I had thought it perhaps a group relaxation activity, but the other players seemed to increase their tension as the play progressed. I have heard a Taur'i verbal expression which indicated that this activity was an excellent cover for presumably illicit agreements, however whenever I attempted to open discussions with O'Neill, he became increasingly distraught over his "backswing". Apparently the mastery of this particular physical manoeuver is of extreme importance, although I have yet to uncover what the significance of this movement is for any other practical application.
I have ruminated on this exercise for much time now, and though it has puzzled me greatly, I believe that I have come to a viable conclusion. Akin to the activity of fishing, of which O'Neill is also quite fond, the underlying purpose of the game of golf must be none other than to strengthen one's patience. Yes, I deem this to be acceptably sound reasoning.
Next on the list: "reality television" ...