Alice was silent for a moment as she thought. "This is your story, Bella." she said finally. "I think he ought to know but you should be the one to tell him." I sat back and released a breath I didn't realize I had been holding. "Thanks, Alice. I owe you one."

"I think I will take you up on that." she grinned slyly. I looked out the window as she parked the car. "Oh no!" I groaned. We were at the mall for another of Alice's Barbie-Bella sessions. "Oh come on," she said cheerily, "I'll let you pick the clothes but I have to approve, ok?" This was a huge sacrifice for her; she loved picking out the clothes. "Alright."

We spent the next several hours in various designer stores. Spring was here and there were rack after rack of long sleeved tops on sale. I tried on at least ten in one particular store. They fit perfectly and flattered my slim frame but Alice kept insisting that they, "Just aren't right." After trying on about five more I was a little frustrated and more than slightly curious. "What's the problem? It's still cool enough for sleeves." "I know" she stated with a smirk as she chose a sleeveless sundress. "I'm trying to provide a little extra motivation." She could tell I was lost. "Motivation?" Alice glances pointedly at my arm and handed me the sundress. Sleeveless.

"Oh" was all I could say. My eyes teared slightly and I quickly turned to examine a display of summer tops. It had been so long since someone who knew about my problem had actually shown any concern. Even Mom had brushed it off as a 'phase.' It felt good to know someone cared. We bought the sundress.

I must have fallen asleep on the ride back home. I woke to the rare Forks sunshine. Spring break is an amazing concept. "Good morning!" I sat up to see Edward sitting on my windowsill. His face was expectant as he asked, "What was it you so desperately needed to tell me?" Holy crap I thought and quickly decided to play dumb. "What are you talking about?" He sighed and a smile played on the corner of his perfect mouth. "You were talking in your sleep and you told me there was something you needed me to know and that it was important." I was relieved that Alice had kept her promise. "I don't know!" I tried to make my tone as light as possible but I must have been blushing because Edward was in front of me instantly. "What is it, Bella?" "It's nothing!" I insisted, "I promise I'll tell you soon enough." He scooped me up in his arms and we settled onto my bed. "Now is a perfect time." he said coaxingly. I made the horrible mistake of looking into his smoldering eyes. I knew he could sense my resolve weakening. He rubbed circles in my hand as he kissed me softly. "Please?" he whispered. My mind raced, Alice had taken the news calmly enough, maybe...

I pulled up my sleeve and showed him my secret.

Edward just stared at me dumbly as a range of expressions crossed his face. It was abnormal, usually he was an enigma and very difficult to read. I watched shock, disbelief, sadness and finally a curious mix of anger and hurt. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I didn't want you to be angry." I lowered my eyes, "It's not your fault. I was just afraid." In a voice so soft even Edward couldn't hear I murmured, "I still am." Edward just groaned.

"I'm not angry at you, Bella." He held me in his arms as I leaned against his stone chest, wondering what he was thinking. "Why? What happened to make you do this?" he asked. "It was from a dream I had. You left me...for another girl, a vampire." Though it sounded silly in retrospect it still worried me. His musical chuckle sounded in my ear. "Do you really believe I could ever leave you?" I was beginning to get worked up. "I'm serious, Edward. It scares me!"

The poor guy didn't deserve what happened next. He was the victim of the wrath of a frightened, hysterical, and borderline crazy woman. I was crying freely now. "Edward, you say forever but you aren't willing to make it happen! I really do believe you love me and I want to be with you. I can't give you everything that you deserve! What kind of relationship is it where you have to be careful not to reach out and crush my skull and I have to wonder whether or not you will lose control one day? I'm not saying you would do it on purpose, but it's something you could fix so that we wouldn't have to worry!" I passed a hand over my eyes, "I'm sorry Edward. I didn't mean it. I'm such a freak!

He hugged me closer. "Freak" he mused. "I can't see it. There is a problem but it is completely fixable." "You'll change me then?" I hadn't expected it to be that easy. He raised an eyebrow, "I was referring to the problem on your arm. What do you think would happen if I were to change you now? As a vampire, your traits and characteristics would be intensified, this ah...tendency could be included." I was silent for several minutes. There was no way I was giving up this easily, there had to be a flaw in his argument. Finally it struck me.

Esme.

"Esme was suicidal, Edward, she jumped off a cliff, right? "Yes, your point is...?" he waited for me to continue. "Well, do you see her launching herself off of every cliff there is now? My 'tendency' as you call it, is not a trait or characteristic, I wasn't born with it. There is no way you could do me any harm by making me like you, aside from the three days it would take." He turned his head away. "Don't you see? Esme needed Carlisle. It was his actions that saved her and made her whole. Does either of them regret that? He saved Esme from herself, Edward, would our situation be that much different?"

Edward had grown stiff during my plea. He turned to me; his eyes had grown dark and were full of pain as he said in a low voice, "Bella you call yourself a freak, would you choose to become a monster?" His voice rose, "I love you with everything in me, but I would watch you die before condemning you to an eternal hell."

He was gone. In the background I heard grown trees snap under the force of his anger. My head rang with his parting words, "I would watch you die..." How could he? The next several minutes I felt as though I were in a trance. I had promised Alice no more; I even had the sundress as my token. I felt so empty and powerless it seemed the only thing I could do. But I forgot about the blood. The last thing I felt before darkness sank over me was the blade biting deeper than I ever meant it to.

Edward's POV

I was in a rage. Not at Bella but at myself. I knew she was right; changing her would solve our problems. But I was too weak to do it. It would be as much of a hell for me to watch her transformation as it would be for her to go through it. I would not put her through that agony, the insatiable desire to feed, or the seemingly endless night. But at the same time I knew I would never be able to watch her die, she was my angel, how could I?

Random trees took the brunt of my frustration. I slowed as I reached the house and racked my brain for a suitable way to make up to her. What I had said was harsh and inexcusable. Alice met me at the door of our house. "You bastard!" she yelled. She was shaking as she roughly grabbed my hand. In the few minutes it took us to reach Bella's house she communicated to me Bella's fears and insecurities about herself, the treatment she had received at her former high school, her concern that she was not good enough for me and why she hurt herself. It was overwhelming, but I was beginning to understand the impact my words would have had on Bella. The scent of Bella's blood reached our nostrils as Alice shared her final thought, the vision she had just received of my Bella. I ran as I never had before. The image of her crumpled and bleeding to death was horrific. What had I done?

Author's Note

I obviously have several choices as to what could happen next but I just can't choose! Let me know what you think:

(1) Bella dies (

(2) Edward changes Bella

(3) Alice changes Bella

(4) Bella comes out just fine (unchanged) w/the help of Carlisle

I'm stuck! Review & let me know! Thanks! lj