Jonas
The
new kid in town.
Yep,
I guess I fit that bill.
All
I'm trying to do is fit in, to atone for my earlier mistakes, but I
don't think they'll ever come around.
They
look at me, and they see Daniel, lying on his deathbed.
It wasn't my fault, dammit!
But
it did happen on my planet, in our labs, with our Naquadria.
I
should have been the one to stop the explosion.
It
was my planet, my people.
My
fear.
I'll
never replace Daniel.
I
can't.
Even
if they would let me. Not that they will.
I can only hope that one day they will allow themselves to use me as a member of their team in this program, that they take me as the tool that I can be. I know things they don't. I look at things differently. Sometimes a fresh set of eyes is all the problem needs to crack. The doctor says I'm wired a little differently, though I look the same. I must be good for something other than an emotional punching bag!
Then again, maybe that's what they need the most right now.
Alright
then. Go ahead.
Yell
at me, throw accusing looks in my direction.
Blame
me, if it'll make you feel better.
It
won't bring him back, but it might bring you back to yourself.
And if that's what is most needed, then that'll be my role here.
Because
I need to do something right – to be something worthy.
I
need someone to trust me, to need me.
I need to be given another chance, to prove myself.
Because
I dream of that day, of hearing the alarms, of seeing the danger, of
knowing what needed to be done, of my inability to move. I dream of
Daniel rescuing my people, my planet. Of selflessly accomplishing
what I couldn't bring myself to do.
I
was selfish, and as a result they lost him.
Why can't anyone believe me?
I miss Daniel too – I miss what he represented. It should have been me.
Daniel
took my place, and now I must take his.
It's
a simple as that.
Now
if only I could make them see it that way. If only I could make them
trust me.
I'm so sorry...