I've been getting some nasty personal messages from people mad with how my story is progressing. We all (myself included) fell in love with Ms. Meyer's Bella and Edward. I am simply doing a spin off – that's why it's called a fanfic. I wanted to portray Bella with a weakness of some sort and this is how it ended up. We have a huge array of Bella's on this site, including one that got drunk and a couple that belly dance. Its cool – no need to spazz! Don't shoot me down for my version please. If you don't like it then don't read it.
Thanks so much to everyone that gave helpful reviews! It was really hard to choose what to do with poor Bella but I think I'm also going to try and alternate version where Bella recovers or something.
Props to Fluff Freak – she had some fabulous ideas that I used for this chapter. Thanks a million!
EPOV
I had so hoped that Alice's vision would be wrong just this once; that the smell of blood came from a scratch or surface wound from one of Bella's all too frequent accidents. She didn't respond as I entered the bathroom. "Oh god." Alice was right behind me. Her eyes flashed as she glared, "What happened, Edward? What did you say?" Her voice was darker and more threatening than I had heard in all the years I had known her. I sank to the floor overwhelmed. "I said that I would watch her die before condemning her to this hell, before making her like me." My voice was a hoarse whisper and I felt as though I were caught up in a bad nightmare, the kind I vaguely remembered from my human days. I stared at her rapidly paling face, how could this happen, how could I have effected her like this?
Alice worked to control herself and her tiny hands were clenched into tight fists. I didn't try to hear what she was thinking; I didn't want to know. "Here's your chance damn it!" she finally spat out, "What are you going to do?"
"Isn't there anything Carlisle could do?" I pressed a towel to Bella's arm to try to slow the bleeding. It was strange that her blood offered no temptation to me now. The very sight of it and knowing the manner in which it had been spilt repulsed me. I knew it was at least partly my fault and I hated myself for it. Alice was calmer now but her voice held an undeniable intensity, "You can hear her heart just as well as I can." I listened as the rhythmic beat grew steadily slower and fainter. I couldn't speak; it should have been a simple choice. I could never deprive Bella of the peace of death, but I wanted, needed to be with her forever. Could I really be so selfish?
Alice was urgent, "Either way you choose, Edward, she will die! She can die and be lost to you forever or she can die and remain with you. How many individuals get the chance to stay with the person they love for eternity! You have that choice. We all know what Bella wants; we have for a long time now." I closed my eyes during her outburst. The struggle was tearing me apart. I wanted to be with Bella, I would never be whole apart from her. But would it be better for her to die peacefully, to simply slip away, or to endure an agonizing death over the next three days and an eternity of darkness after? Bella had altered my very nature. She taught me the meaning of love and trust by accepting me for who and what I was. I did not want to consciously put her through hell, but I could not live without her. The roared as the conflict inside my chest heightened.
It was then I heard the terrifying sound of stillness. Bella's heart began to sputter as her life left her. I made my decision right then, but Alice was quicker. Her head was at Bella's neck in a move blindingly fast, even for my own heightened senses. I was shocked. After a few moments she raised her head, staring at me defiantly. Rage at her actions and relief that Bella was saved surged inside of me. Neither of us spoke. We didn't have time to discuss what had just happened; we had to get Bella home before the pain completely enveloped her.
BPOV
I heard voices. I quickly identified them as Edward and Alice, though they sounded garbled and slow, as if I was hearing them from underwater. I wanted to reach out and tell him I was sorry. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; it wasn't his fault. I had forgotten about the blood. I had gotten dizzy and stumbled. I tried to recover myself but the slip had inadvertently driven the edge deeper. I didn't mean to do this! I cursed the heavy darkness that pressed upon me, preventing me from reaching him. I needed to tell Edward I loved him, just this one last time. I felt a brief spasm of pain in my chest as my heart sputtered and heard Edward's roar, loud yet somehow distant. A few seconds later I became aware of a sharp twinge and the warm trickle of blood down my neck. There was a moment of forgiving numbness, calm before the storm. Fire ripped through my body, drawing my senses out of the dark fog in which they were mired. My back arched involuntarily and I screamed as pain racked my body. I felt Edward's cool arms lift me and knew from the wind that ruffled my hair we were running.
back to EPOV
Her first scream shattered my heart. The next three days would be torture for us both. Alice ran ahead to prepare the others as I scooped Bella up. The floor of a bathroom was not a good place to endure the transformation. I cradled her writhing form on my sofa as Alice cleaned the dried blood from her arm. Rosalie complained constantly of the noise as the cries echoed through our halls and I fought the urge to pummel Rosa. I wondered if she would accept Bella after the change was complete. I watched as the outward signs of the transformation became apparent. Her bones reformed and hardened making her slender frame even thinner. I would no longer have to worry about crushing her. I overheard Alice excitedly planning a shopping trip to search for clothes to fit Bella's new, even more petite frame. Bella's face changed as well. The eyes I knew would be deep red when they opened grew larger; her nose straightened slightly and became narrower. Her mouth retained its beautiful fullness. The obvious physical changes prompted m to wonder about her inner state, what gift, if any would she have?
Another wave of pain shot through her body drawing me from my musings. She had been in and out of delirium but, just as Carlisle had predicted, she remained conscious, suffering minute by minute throughout the painful ordeal. As I watched her I wondered how I could have ever contemplated allowing her to die. I still despised myself for even thinking of it. I knew now I would not and could not let go of her, she was far too precious to me.
The final day was the most agonizing by far. By now the venom had worked its way through most of the body, healing and strengthening as it went. Today began the process of stopping the heart. She convulsed violently, releasing scream after scream. Her body shook with tearless sobs as wave after wave of excruciating pain swept through. I held her close, humming her lullaby and listening for the last time to the gentle beat of her heart, trying to memorize its pattern. Her tearless sobs quieted and she grew more still, letting out an occasional whimper. I rocked her, wishing for the first time that I could cry to release the sorrow within me, as I waited for the end.