A/N: sorry it took so long!

BPOV

The wind in my face told me we were running. The exhilaration that speed had given me as a vampire was now far gone and I had to fight to keep from getting sick.

He was back

He had come back for me and I was completely exhausted and content to lie limply in his arms. This was one time I would not protest against him carrying me. He hummed my lullaby as we ran. I had missed hearing that. I had missed him. Why had he come back? What changed his mind? We were close to home now. It was funny how I considered the Cullen's house more my home than the place I lived with Charlie. Oh my god, where was Charlie? My mind raced as I realized what I had just been through. Did Charlie even know what had been going on? How long had I been gone? Was I going to be okay?

As I tried to ask Edward I was given even more of a reason to panic. Something was wrong. My mouth would not open. Until then I had been content to rest in the darkness. It had been peaceful. Somehow the fact that I was unable to open my eyes drove away any peace that I had felt earlier. I tested my limbs one at a time as I listened to Edward speaking urgently to Carlisle over the phone.

"She's scratched up badly. It smells like bear's blood on her clothing but the scratches are too small and shallow to be made by a bear. There's lots of blood...Yes Jasper left, Emmett too...

She hasn't moved or spoken at all, not even opening her eyes or moaning, nothing!

No, she has a heartbeat again; it's slower than it used to be, but it is definitely there. I don't know! She appears to be human in every way! Her heart beats, I can smell her blood, and her skin is warm..." He raised his voice, nearly shouting, "Carlisle, I don't know! Just get here now, please!"

Was it my imagination or did the last part sound frantic and...afraid? I had never imagined Edward as being afraid, he was always the strong one in every way. While I was the one that couldn't even deal with myself, he had been able to handle everything easily with an assuredness I constantly envied. I heard him kneel beside the couch and he began to stroke my hair.

"Bella, I'm so sorry!" His voice was hoarse and pained. He continued in a whisper, almost as if he was speaking to himself, and I wondered if he knew I could hear him. "Alice told me what Rosalie said. It's not true. I love you, Bella, I always will. Should it matter whether or not you are human? I wanted to change you. Believe me I wanted to change you just as badly as you wanted to be changed. Maybe more. I was on my way home after I had been at your house. You made a good point with your argument. I had already planned to ask you if it was what you truly wanted. I was going to do it the very next day...but Alice met me on the porch." He sighed and was silent for several moments. "It caught me by surprise. I wanted you to be with me forever but I didn't want to happen that way. It was supposed to be planned, mutual. But it just happened. Neither of us really had a say in the matter. That was why I ran, Bella! It's not because I don't love you or because I was angry that you were now a vampire. I ran because I was...afraid, I guess. I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand why you hurt yourself that way." His lips brushed my forehead. "I understand now. I don't like it at all, but I think I understand. I promise you I will do everything in my power to any reason for you to ever harm yourself again. Any doubts, any fears...anything at all, my love, just get well!

A door opened and Edward scrambled to his feet. I wanted to be near him. I needed to let him know that I was okay. But I didn't even know if I was. Other than being unable to move anything at all I felt just fine. But 'Doc' had said that many vampires died when they tried to return to humanity. I hadn't had any blood from other humans but wouldn't the bear be the same principle?

Carlisle listened closely to my heart. He didn't need a stethoscope. It was quiet for several minutes as he concentrated. "Edward, her heart is weak. It is beating a great deal slower than the average human's and it's far too feeble to last much longer."

"What about changing her?"

I don't know." Carlisle answered simply. "In the past four days her body has endured a tremendous amount of trauma. She's gone from being human to vampire and back to human again. It's nothing short of a miracle that she is even with us now."

"She will live. As a human."

I hadn't even known Alice was in the room.

"Are you certain?" Edward's strained voice was cautious.

"How often am I wrong?"

I would survive. That was welcome news. I made a mental note to thank Alice when I was able to move again. The others talked amongst themselves while I wondered when I would start to recover. I continued testing my limbs, one after the other. It took nearly five minutes but I finally managed, with remarkable effort, to twitch my arm. I kept attempting to move my limbs and before long I was able to open my eyes. Carlisle, Edward, and Alice were too engrossed on their conversation to notice my glorious progress. My vision was blurry and I was only able to make out outlines and colors. Details were blurry, almost as if I was looking at them through a frosted glass.

I watched them talk. I had missed him so much.

My attempt at talking came out as a feeble moan. All three were at my side instantly, Edward nearly bowling over Alice. Their eyes were incredible. Carlisle's were intense and inquiring while Alice's shone bright with hope and eagerness. Looking at their eyes was like reading a book. I remembered hearing somewhere that the eyes are the window to the soul. Maybe I still had my gift! It certainly made sense; their feelings were so clear to me. Except for Edward. His beautiful topaz eyes were like a puzzle. They held so much emotion but I was unable to identify what kind or the source. Fair enough. As long as he couldn't read my mind I would be content with being unable to read his emotions. It wasn't as if I had been an expert at it before – I wasn't sacrificing anything.

Carlisle was taking my pulse, pulling my hand out of Edward's. My heart sputtered and started beating strongly, faster than I could remember it ever doing. I gasped as the beat became more powerful. "Edward!" My cry came out slow and slurred. He pulled me onto his lap. "It hurts!" My voice came clearer now. Carlisle was at my side, listening as my heart pounded loudly for several seconds before growing faint. "What's happening to me?"

Carlisle spoke to Edward, "We need to get her calmed down and possibly under anesthesia so I can run tests. We'll have to perform them here. Keep her still as much as possible." He left, to gather the necessary equipment from the hospital I suppose. Edward rubbed soothing circles into my shoulders but I wasn't about to relax. "Why did you leave me? And what is going on here? I don't want to be put under anything for any damn tests!" I stopped short at Edward's expression. I couldn't remember swearing in front of him before, but he looked so shocked that it was worth it. I laughed. His face remained incredulous,

"You heard that?"

"Heard what?"

"You heard what Carlisle said about the tests?"

"Yeah, so..?"

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly. "Bella, we were talking at vampire speed – there was no way you should have been able to understand us."

"Oh. Does that mean I'm still a vampire?"