Chapter 12: A hopeless situation.

Present time.

Somewhere in the Pegasus galaxy

Okay, so maybe his promotion hadn't been that wonderful because he had been so ill. That had been a difficult time for him as he had lost another two of his men and he had spent a good deal of time over the next six months blaming himself for it.

His bonding ceremony had been a wonderful time in his life and knowing that he and Teyla were having a baby made his life complete. The joy of having a baby was dampened by the fact that he'd lost two of his marines through a decision that he had made in all good faith. He had assured the people of Atlantis that the white berries were safe, but it turned out that he was wrong.

Shuddering at the memory of the death of more soldiers under his command he looked up at the view and soon realised that they were moving again. Surely it hadn't been an hour since they'd stalled. If that was the case, he wondered why Carson or Jennifer hadn't been chasing him to visit Teyla. Although he assumed that Carson was in the chair room at the moment since that was where he was supposed to be – Lorne had told him that much.

Shrugging his shoulders, he thought back to the day that Ronon and Amelia were married. He had been so happy for his friends that day and the feast they had shared the following day was a time of fun and laughter for all of them. When he and Teyla had left after the wedding feast Ronon, and Amelia had been so happy. He had suspected that they were wanting to start a family at that time, and he could think of no one better to be parents.

He had only seen Ronon and Amelia a couple of times after their wedding, the last time being after his and Teyla's baby had been born. Amelia wasn't pregnant the last time he saw her. He had no idea why they lost contact after the baby was born, perhaps it was the fact that he and Teyla were so busy being new parents and Ronon seemed to be busy building the military on New Sateda.

It wasn't long after that Todd had told them about the unknown enemy that was tearing planets apart with a single destructive beam. It sounded like something that the Asurans would do, but they were long dead, so it couldn't be them – could it?

Rodney and Jennifer had started arguing about the time that his and Teyla's baby had been born as well, and he suspected that it was because Rodney didn't want to have kids. The couple had been on and off again since then – at the moment they seemed to be together, although they were still arguing most of the time.

Sighing at the memories he looked out into space, Atlantis seemed to be picking up speed and he wondered how long it would be until they reached the nebula – and then what? He was supposed to be in command and Lorne and Carson were supposed to be ready to sit in the chair if needed. But there was still one thing hanging over his head that he needed to deal with before then and if was something that was going to change his life forever – for better or worse, he didn't know.

He felt his eyes brimming with tears and he hoped that no one was around to see him crying, he'd been through so much in the last three years alone. And he was still going through heartache.

Perhaps it was time to face his wife. Although he knew that it might take him a long time to move on with things, he knew that he had to. Atlantis was lost without a home, and it was up to him as much as anyone to look after the city and its people. He needed to make sure they found a home; it was his responsibility. But what of his responsibility to his family? Perhaps it was the same, by finding Atlantis a home he would be finding one for his family as well.

As much as he was enjoying staring into the endless abyss of space – well not really – he knew that it was time to go and see his wife. He was positive that T.J. would have finished with his mother by now, so he knew that it was time for him to come to terms with the way things were.

Soft footsteps on the balcony had him turning around and he was surprised to see that T.J. was there with Jennifer who had his and Teyla's baby in her arms.

"Daddy, it's time," Torren whispered through his tears.

He hated to see his five-year-old son upset or in pain, so he immediately crossed the distance to him, picked him up and held him tight. Tears were streaming down his face at this point and he knew that it was time to say goodbye to the woman he loved with all of his heart – at least for now.

T.J. was clinging to him like his life depended on it and he knew at that moment as much as his responsibility was to Atlantis it was also to his family – perhaps it was time to put them first.

He looked over at the baby lying in Jennifer's arms and he contemplated the future. Would he have to raise her alone? He was positive that there would be plenty of people lining up to help him, but right now he had no idea whether Teyla would get to see their daughter grow up.

Jennifer put her arm on his shoulder, "I'll look after the children, Carson is in the infirmary with Teyla if you need anything."

"I thought he was supposed to be in the chair, while Lorne got some rest!" John growled, still feeling annoyed that Keller had relieved him of duty.

"Don't worry about what is happening with Lorne and Carson, everything is under control. All you need to do now is, worry about Teyla."

Glaring at her he turned to face the open space and he decided that he needed to stay here a little longer because there was one last thing that he wanted to remember and that was the last good thing to happen before it all went wrong.

"I'll be there if a few minutes," he whispered not bothering to turn around, "and thanks for looking after the kids for a while."

At that point, he made up his mind that he would stay for five more minutes and then he would go and face Teyla and whatever was to come afterwards.

Taking a deep breath, he remembered back to the day that his daughter was born…

TBC…