Okay, so here's the ending. Not too sure about the ending, though. Tell me what you think, and maybe what I could do to change it and make it better. I don't like the last verse much, either. Ah well. Please review!
Renn: Down HERE is your home! Aminta - listen to me. The sophisticate world -
it's a mess. Life in the field is better than anything they got out there.
The cornfield is always greener
In somebody else's field
You dream about going out there
But that would be wrong thing to yield
Just look at the world around you
Right here with the hick-ish whores
Such wonderful things surround you
What more could you be lookin' fer?
In the cornfield
In the cornfield
We have better soil
Than the o'Doyle's Adam sandler movies reference there
Take it from me
Out on the set they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we devotin'
Full time to boozin'
In the cornfield
Down here all the hicks are happy
As off through the hay they roll
The hick in the city ain't happy
They sad 'cause they don't got no style
But hick in the city is lucky
They in for a worser fate
One day when the boss get horny
Guess who's gon' be on the bed
In the cornfield
In the cornfield
Nobody beat us
Seduce us and eat us
In friskiness
We what the land folks loves to have
In the cornfield, we out o' the can
We've got gossip
It's no tossup
In the Cornfield
In the cornfield
Since life is sweet here
We got the beat here
Naturally
Even the hick and the redneck
They get the urge 'n' sit on the deck
We got team spirit
You got to hear it
In the cornfield
Route 9 ya cain't boot
A shack made from tarp
The ground is the base
And they lookin' sharp-
Aminta-(sees Jesse at the edge of the clearing, and starts to slowly back out)
The choir nerd she sings
The Popular and the brat
They know where it's at
An' oh that town-bike blow
In the cornfield
In the cornfield!
Aminta-Starts to sing along to get the attention away from her as Renn starts to really get into it)
What do they got? A lot of sand
We got a hot hick-redneck band
Each little tramp here
know how to jam here
In the cornfield!
Each little thug here
Cuttin' a rug here
In the cornfield!
Each little male here
Know how to wail here
That's why it's nonplussed
Under the crop-dust
Ya we in luck here
Down in the muck here
In the cornfield!
(They discover that Aminta has left with Jesse.)
Aminta? Aminta? Oh . . . somebody's got to nail that girl's feet to the football field.
Halley: Renn! Renn, I've been looking all over for you. I've got
an urgent message from the Phantom.
Renn: The Phantom?
Seahorse: He wants to see you right away - something about Aminta.
Renn: He knows!
(In Phantom of Hollywood's run-down town house. Phantom of Hollywood looking at stalk of corn.)
Phantom of Hollywood: Let's see, now. . . . Oh, who could the lucky football player be? (Notices
Renn.) Come in, Renn.
Renn: (Sotto) I mustn't overreact. I must remain calm. (Five octaves
higher than normal) Yes - (loco) yes, Your Majesty.
Phantom of Hollywood: Now, Renn, I'm concerned about Aminta. Have you noticed she's been
acting peculiar lately?
Renn: Peculiar?
Phantom of Hollywood: You know, moaning about, daydreaming, singing to herself. . . . You
haven't noticed, hmm?
Renn: Oh - well, I -
Phantom of Hollywood: Renn. . . .
Renn: Hmmm?
Phantom of Hollywood: I know you've been keeping something from me. . .
Renn: Keeping . . . something?
Phantom of Hollywood: About Aminta?
Renn: Aminta . . . ?
Phantom of Hollywood: In love?
Renn: I tried to stop her, sir. She wouldn't listen. I told her to stay
away from sophisticates - they are bad, they are trouble, they -
Phantom of Hollywood: Sophisticates? WHAT ABOUT SOPHISTICATES?
Renn: Sophisticates? Ho ho ho ho. . . . Who said anything about sophisticates?
(Fade to Aminta and Jesse entering cave.)
Aminta: Jesse, why can't you just tell me what this is all about?
Jesse: You'll see. It's a suprise.
Aminta: (Sees statue of Gerry.) Oh, Jesse- Jesse you're the best! it looks
just like him. It even has his eyes. "Why, Gerry, run away with you? This
is all so - so sudden. . . . (Turns around and sees Phantom of Hollywood.) Daddy! . . .
Phantom of Hollywood: I consider myself a reasonable man. I set certain rules, and I
expect those rules to be obeyed.
Aminta: But Daddy!-
Phantom of Hollywood: Is it true you rescued a sophisticate from fangirls?
Aminta: Daddy, I had to-
Phantom of Hollywood: Contact between the hick world and the sophisticate-world is strictly for-
bidden. Aminta, you know that! Everyone knows that!
Aminta: He would have died-
Phantom of Hollywood: One less star to worry about!
Aminta: You don't even know him.
Phantom of Hollywood: Know him? I don't have to know him. They're all the same. Spineless,
savage, snobby-nosed, incapable of any feeling-
Aminta: Daddy, I love him!
Phantom of Hollywood: No . . . Have you lost your senses completely? He's a movie star, you're
a hick!
Aminta: I don't care.
Phantom of Hollywood: So help me Aminta, I am going to get through to you. And if this is the
only way, so be it. (Begins to blast the memorbilia with his shotgun.)
Aminta: Daddy!. . . No . . . No, please- Daddy, stop!. . . Daddy, Nooo!. . .
(He blasts the statue. Aminta begins crying and he leaves, ashamed.)
Renn: Aminta, I . . .
Aminta: (Still crying.) Just go away. (He leaves and Marek and Westley appear.)
Marek: Pooor child.
Westley: Poor, sweet child.
Marek: She 'as a very serious problem
Westley: If only there were something we could do.
Marek: Boot ther' is somethin'.
Aminta: Who - who are you?
Westley: Don't be scared.
Marek: We represent sumeon' who cahn help ye.
Westley: Someone who could make all your dreams come true.
Marek and Westley: Just imagine -
Westley: You and your prince -
Marek and Westley: Together, forever. . . .
Aminta: I don't understand.
Westley: Karson has great powers
Aminta: The leader of the Fab 6? Why, that's - I couldn't possibly - no! Get out of
here! Leave me alone!
Marek: Suit yoorself.
Westley: It was only a suggestion.
Westley flicks the statue's broken face towards Aminta.
Aminta: Looking at the face Wait.
Marek and Westley: Yeeeeeeeeeess?
(Cut to outside of cave with Jesse and Renn.)
Jesse: (sniff) Poor Aminta.
Renn: I didn't mean to tell, it was an accident. (Aminta passes by.)
Aminta - where are you going? Aminta, what are you doing here with this
riff-raff?
Aminta: I'm going to see Karson.
Renn: Aminta, no! No, he's a gay guy! He's fashionable!
Aminta: Why don't you go tell my father? You're good at that.
Renn: But . . . But, I . . . (To Jesse.) Come on. (They travel towards
Karson's swanky pad.)
Marek and Westley: This way. (Aminta enters and is hung up in the garden of
Mannequins.)
Karson: Come in. Come in, my child. We mustn't lurk in doorways - it's rude.
One MIGHT question your upbringing. . . . Now, then. You're here because
you have a thing for this sophisticate. This, er, movie star fellow. Not that I blame
you - he is quite a catch, isn't he? Well, doll-face, the solution to your
problem is simple. The only way to get what you want - is to become a movie star and a skank
yourself.
Aminta: Can you DO that?
Karson: My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for.
To help unappealing innocents like yourself.
Poor girls with no one else to turn to.
I admit that in the past I've been stupid
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a man
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the dark, and made a switch
To this gestures to skirt
And I fortunately know a lil' seduction
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And dear lady, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)
Poor unfortunate males
In pain, in need
This one longing for attention
That one wants a girl in bed
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate men
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my whorehouse
Crying, "Girls, Karson, please!"
And I help them!
Yes I do
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to strip them of their man-hoods
Yes I've had the odd complaint
But on the rod I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate men
Now, here's the deal. I will make you a potion that will turn you into
a popular, rich sophisticate, with a large part in a film for three months. Got that? Three months. Now listen, this is import-
ant. Before the sun sets on the thirtieth day of the third month, you've got to get dear ol'
Gerry to fall in love with you. That is, he's got to have sex with you. Not just
any ol' one-night-stand – I mean making love. If he does make love to you before the sun sets on
the thirtieth day of the third month, you'll remain a sophisticate, and become a famous movie star, along with a skank, permanently, but - if he doesn't, you
turn back into a hick, and - you belong to me. gestures to the garden of mannequins of hicks covered in hideously gaudy clothing
Renn: No Aminta! (She is silenced by Marek and Westley.)
Karson: Have we got a deal?
Aminta: If I become a movie star, I'll never be with my father or footballs team again.
Karson: That's right. . . . But - you'll have your man. Life's full of tough
choices, innit? Oh - and there is one more thing. We haven't discussed the
subject of payment. You can't get something for nothing, you know.
Aminta: But I don't have any -
Karson: I'm not asking much. Just a token, really, a trifle. You'll never even
miss it. What I want from you is . . . your strong grip.
Aminta: My strong grip?
Karson: You've got it, sweetcakes. No more football, no more massages, zip.
Aminta: But without my voice, how can I -
Karson: You'll have your looks, your newfound skills.
And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha!
The men out there don't like a lot of blubber
They want a girl who acts just like a whore!
Yet out there it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear, what is idle babble for?
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who uses her tongue who gets a man
Come on you poor innocent girl
Go ahead!
Make your choice!
I'm a very busy madam and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just yourself!
You poor homely girl
It's sad but true
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
You've got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll
Marek, Westley, now I've got her, boys
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate girl
(Aminta signs contract.)
Paluga, sarruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea.
Now masai et max tackle!
Le grip strength to me
Now . . . massage! gestures for Marek to come forward, and stand in front of Aminta You will learn now! Become a woman!
(Aminta shyly comes up to Marek, and looks up at him expectantly. He grabs her hands and places them on his shoulders as he turns around. She starts to massage them, and he growls deep within his chest. He pulls her to the pulled-out futon nearby, and pulls her down beneath her. He wipes the hair out of her face, and starts to kiss her. She goes wide-eyed with shock, then closes her eyes and gets into it. Marek places his hands on her breasts, and she whimpers in confusion, and finally gives in to the whole experience. After a while, she puts her hands on his shoulders, and pushes him to the side and rolls on top of him, and continues the kiss. As she begins to grind her pelvis into his own, giant hands come and pull a glittering white aura from Aminta (her innocence), and she's surrounded by blue sparks as she's reclothed in a black lace corset, showing off the fact she has breasts for the first time, a short black silk skirt with a slit up the side, showing off her shapely legs and a good amount of thigh, a black v-string, and stiletto-heeled black Jimmy Choos. She's wearing makeup for the first time in her life, and her hair is down and naturally curly, instead of its usual ponytail. Karson laughs evilly as the sparks turn to bright yellow, and Marek gets up off the futon with a sadness and gleam in his eyes.)
Karson: Goodbye my dear! Have fun on your trip! And remember: don't say that you've met each other before, or else, you'll be back here in a heartbeat, like Dorothy out of Oz. (Aminta is beginning to disappear in a burst of light. At the last second, Jesse and Renn jump into the light with her, and are thus transported to L.A.)
(Fade to beach. Gerry and Max are walking near beach house.)
Gerry: (practicing for the part of the Phantom by singing Music of the Night.) Help me make, the Music of the-Niiiiiiiiiiiight…That voice, and those strong, yet womanly hands, with their wonderful massage. I can't get it out of my head. I've looked
everywhere, Max - where could she be? (On other side of rocks Aminta is
washed up from seemingly no where. Renn and Jesse are exausted, and everyone is covered in water. Aminta sees her magically-waxed legs and face with enhanced features in her reflection in the water, and is
amazed and speechless.)
Katie Phatty: washes up on shore on a raft. Well, look at what the farmers dragged in! Look at ya! Look at ya!
There's something different. Don't tell me - I got it. It's your head,
right? You've been using the lippihlab, right? No? No huh, well let me
see. New . . . sports bra? No new sports bra. I gotta admit I can't put my
foot on it right now, but if I just stand here long enough I know that I'll -
Renn: SHE'S GOT A WOMAN'S BODY AND SKILLS, YOU IDIOT! She traded her innocence and tight, manly grip to the leader of the Fab 6
and got transformed into an experienced woman and a sophisticate. Jeez, woman . . .
Katie Phatty: I knew that.
Jesse: Aminta's been turned into a sophisticate, and is 'posed to get the lead part in this movie. She's gotta make the Gerry-guy fall in
love with her, and he's gotta ha-Jesse gets a pained look on his face, and he gazes longingly at Aminta, unknowingly to her …he's gotta make love to her. (Aminta tries to get
up, unsuccessfully, seeing as how she's never been in heels before, let alone stilettos.)
Renn: And she's only got three months, most of which she'll spend filming. Just look at her. In heels. In Jimmy Choos! My best football player! In heels! My nerves are shot. This is a catastrophe! What would her father say?
I'll tell you what her father'd say, he'd say he's gonna kill himself a coach,
that's what her father'd say! I'm gonna march meself straight home right now
and tell him just like I shoulda done the minute- (Aminta finally gets up and grabs Renn, opening her mouth.) . . . and
don't you start with me, young lady. Maybe there's still time. If
we could get that witch to give you back your nikes, and your throwing arm, you could go home with
all the normal hicks, and just be . . . looks at Aminta, whose lower lips is starting to wobble just be . . . a tear rolls down Aminta's cheek just be miserable for
the rest of your life. All right, all right. I'll try to help you find that
Gerry-guy. Boy. What a wimp I'm turning out to be.
Katie Phatty: Now, Aminta, I'm tellin' ya, if you wanna be a sophisticate the first thing
you gotta do is strut like one. Now lemme see.
(Cut to Gerry and Max. Max smells Aminta and gets excited.)
Gerry: Max? Huh . . . what, Max!
Katie Phatty: (Whistles as Aminta walks Mulan-style.) Ya look great kid. Ya look - sensational. (They hear Max.
He arrives and chases Aminta up on a rock.)
Gerry: Max . . . Max - Quiet Max! What's gohtten into ye laddie? (Sees Aminta.)
Oh . . . Oh, I see. Are you O.K., lassie? I'm soory if this knoocklehead
scahred yeh. He's 'armless, really - . . . you . . . seem very familiar . . .
to meh. 'ave we met? Aminta nods and grins We 'ave met? I knew it! Yoou're the one - the one I've
been looking foor! What's your name? (Aminta mouths "Aminta" but no sound comes out besides a croak. She blushes and jumps gymnast-like onto the rock, meaning to land on her hands. She falls and whimpers as she twists her ankle. Her twisted ankle and look of pain goes unseen by Gerry, and he chuckles at her attempt to be smooth) Wut was tha'? (Aminta looks sadly downward.)
Aminta: I guess I don't- (Aminta is shocked by her lack of a southern drawl, but doesn't falter in her excuse) have very good balance in these…or a very good grip…
Gerry: Oh. Then ye couldn't be who I thought ye weere. (Aminta and Max look frustrated. She
tries to get up, and wobbles.) Oh, are ye hurt? Do yeh need help?
(She starts to say yes, then attempts a fake faint, with realistic results as she realizes she's fallen into the arms of her dream-man.) Said as he carried her into the beach house Ach, you must 'ave really been through sumthin'. Don't worry, Ah'll help ye. Come on, you'll be okay. he gazes into her face, and wipes a strand of hair from her face before shaking his head and continuing on his way into the beach house.
(Fade to Aminta in bath playing with showerhead.)
Sheila (old part of Sheila, big woman that is servant to Ariel): Washed up from the shore. Oh, the poor thing. We'll have you
feeling better in no time. Picks up Aminta's "outfit" I'll just - I'll just
get this washed for you.
(Cut to Renn, whose face is peeking into the window of the laundry room.)
Woman 1: Well you must have at least heard about this girl.
Woman 2: Well, Gretchen says . . . (Scalding hot water is thrown out the window, into Renn's face) . . . since when has
Gretchen got anything right. I mean really, this girl shows up in slut-clothing and
barely speaks a word-
Renn: You skank! . . . (more scalding water thrown out window)
Woman 2: . . . not my idea of a girl for Ger. If he's looking for a girl, I know
a couple of highly available ones right here . . . (Renn dives into
another room, where she sees tons of show-dancers getting dressed. One turns to her, and hands her a spare outfit, thinking she's one of them, and is late. She faints.)
(Cut to beach-house/mansion dining room.)
Gerry's Agent: Oh, Gerry, be reasonable. Nice young ladies just don't – wander around
rescuing people in the middle of the nowhere and then - flutter off into
oblivion, like some -
Gerry: I'm tellin' you, Bill, she was REAL! I'm gonna find that girl - and I'm
gonna marry her.
Sheila: Ha Ha. Come on honey. Don't be shy. (Aminta enters in a simple, but attractive
dress. It's a tube-dress made of cream-colored lace and satin, and goes to her knees, showing off her shapely legs, only in a more appropriate manner this time. She's wearing cream-lace ballet flats, along with simple pearl earrings and a pearl necklace)
Gerry's Agent: Oh, Gerry, isn't she a vision?
Gerry: You look - beautiful.
Gerry's Agent: Come come come, you must be famished. Let me help you my dear. There
we go - ah - quite comfy? Uh. It's - It's not ofen that we have such a lovely
dinner guest, eh Gerry? (Aminta sees a wine glass, and grabs it, and sticks her chin in it, grinning proudly. They look
dumbfounded and she is embarrassed. She sees a condom sticking out of Bill's pocket and brightens. She grabs it out of his pocket, to his dismay, and rips it open. She blows it up, and places it over Bill's face, as it breaks and snaps back.
Gerry laughs. Aminta looks confused and rather embarrassed once again.)
Sheila: Oh, my!
Gerry: Ahem, so sorry Bill.
Sheila: Why, Gerry, that's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks.
Gerry's Agent: (Cradling his reddened face.) Oh, very amusing. Sheila, my dear, what's for
Our after-dinner entertainment?
Sheila: Oooh, you're gonna love it. Louis's been training the girls in a new dance!
(Cut to Renn watching Louis as he watches the girls warm up. He is humming to himself.)
Louis:
Les girls
Les dancers
How I love the dancers
Love to teach
And to show off my girls
First I cut them down
Then I pull out their spines
Ah mais oui
Bossing around is great
Les dancers
Les skilled
Hee hee hee
Hah hah hah
With my words I hack hearts in two
I pull apart what's inside
And I serve it with style
God, I love the little vixens
Don't you?
Here's something for tempting the palate
Prepared in the classic technique
First you pound their esteem with a mallet
Then you slash through independence
Give them a nice slap
Then you rub some salt in
'Cause that makes makes them act nice
Zut alors, I have missed one!
Sacre bleu
What is this?
How on earth could I miss
Such a sweet little succulent girl?
Quel dommage
What a loss
Here we go in the cross
Now a pliee, I think
Just one quick
Now I stuff you with false hope
It don't hurt 'cause you're empty now
And you're certainly lucky you are
'Cause it's gonna be hot
Once my great dance starts
Toodle loo mon poisson
Au revoir!
(Renn hops back and Louis grabs at her again.) What is this? (Renn
boxes his jaw and a battle ensues. Louis knocks over a large wardrobe off to the side.)
(Cut to dining room. Huge crash is heard.)
Sheila: I think I'd better go see what Louis is up to.
(Back to girls dressing room. Louis is trashing the place.)
Louis: Come out you little slut and fight like a man!
Sheila: Louis! What are you doing?
Louis: Well - I - I was just - er, er, I'm sorry, madame.
(Cut back to dining room. Gerry, Agent, and Aminta are just finishing dinner, and their plates are being cleared.)
Gerry's Agent: You know, Gerry, perhaps our young guest might enjoy seeing some of the
sights of the city. Something in the way of a tour? Maybe take her to the auditions for the movie?
Gerry: I'm sorry, Bill, what was that?
Gerry's Agent: You can't spend all your time moping about, you need to get out. Do
something, have a life. (Gerry's Agent pulls a tasseled rope hanging beside him, opening the curtain, revealing the dancers, including Renn off to the side, looking mortified in a light pink fairy costume.) Get your mind off -
Gerry: Easy, Bill, Easy. (Aminta lifts her side of the table cover, and Renn rushes across while no one is looking.)
It's not a bad idea. If she's interested. Well - whaddaya say? Would you
like to join me on a tour of L.A. and see the sets for the Phantom of the Opera this Saturday?
Aminta: I would be honored, Mr. Butler.
Gerry: Please, call me Gerry.
Aminta: Alright…places a hand on Gerry's thigh…Gerry. (Gerry's eyes pop out of his head, and he looks side-ways at her, lust in his eyes, unseen by his agent)
Gerry's Agent: Wonderful, now let's view this dance before the girls run away. (At this time, the girls are bowing and leaving the stage. Bill is perturbed, yet laughs.)
(Fade to Aminta watching Gerry and Max from balcony.)
Gerry: Come here boy! . . . Arrr . . . (He sees Aminta and waves. She is embarrassed at being caught at watching him, but she lingers for a moment, to blow him a kiss before going back inside.)
Renn: This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day
of my life. I hope you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady.
Now - we got to make a plan to get that boy to kiss you. Tomorrow, when he
takes you for that ride, you gotta look your best. You gotta bat your eyes -
like this. You gotta pucker up your lips - like this. (She sees she is
asleep.) Hm. You are hopeless child. You know that? Completely hopeless . . .
(Fade to police H.Q. of the cornfield. Halley and Erik's Vampire walk up to Phantom of Hollywood.)
Phantom of Hollywood: Any sign of them?
Halley: No, Your Majesty. We've searched everywhere. We've found no trace
of your daughter - or Renn.
Phantom of Hollywood: Well, keep looking. Leave no shell unturned, no coral unexplored. Let
no one in this kingdom sleep until she's safe at home.
Erik's Vampire: Yes sire. (He leaves.)
Phantom of Hollywood: Oh, what have I done? What have I done?
(Friday Afternoon. Aminta is in the garden, singing Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again to herself, really getting into it, and walking around the trees as if they were gravestones. She finishes at the back stairs to the beach house.)
Aminta: No more gazing across the waster yea- (Is stopped by Gerry on the bottom step, gazing down at her in astonishment. She stops immediately, and blushes) Oh, I'm sorry for being in your way…
Gerry: No, I'm soory fer interruptin' ye. Please, continue.
Aminta: I-well, only if you insist-
Gerry: I fully insist, please, lassi-ye know ah haven't even asked yeer name yet. How could I 'ave forgotten?
Aminta: (blushing) My name is Aminta Kristine. You can call me Aminta.
Gerry: Well, it's rather lovely the finally meet ye officially, Aminta, and Ah'm soory fer noht being around ye tha' much the be tha' 'ospitible, but ah've 'ad meetings with Joel Schumacher…
Aminta: That's okay, Gerry. I understand. The life of an actor is so busy. And exciting, and wonderful, and-
Gerry: It's noht all tha' great. It's rather exhausting. But here Ah am keepin' ye from yoor lovely singing.
Aminta: Oh, that's alright. It was just for fun, anyways.
Gerry: Would ye mind singing another one for me just for fun then? You've goht a rather wonderful voice. Do you know anymore of the songs from Phantom?
Aminta: Yes, actually. I'm quite a big fan.
Gerry: Would ye happen the know "The Point of No Return"? (Gerry grins sideways at Aminta with the same look he had the night at dinner when she had grabbed his thigh)
Aminta: (grins back) That happens to be my favorite, actually. Would you care to start, good monsieur?
Gerry: (his face goes solemn) You have come here
In pursuit of your deepest urge
In pursuit of that wish which till now
Has been silent
Silent.
I have brought you
That our passions may fuse and merge
In your mind you've already succumbed to me, dropped all defenses
Completely succumbed to me
Now you are here with me
No second thoughts
You've decided
Decided.
Past the point of no return
No backward glances
Our games of make-believe are at an end.
Past all thought of "if" or "when"
No use resisting
Abandon thought and let the dream descend
What raging FIRE shall flood the soul
What rich desire unlocks its door
What sweet seduction lies before us?
Past the point of no return
The final threshold
What warm unspoken secrets
Will we learn
beyond the point of no return?
(Aminta grows red in the face from the heated thoughts running through her mind at his singing, but she remembered her cue just in time from the music that only they could hear. As she sings, she slowly walks around the fountain in the middle of the garden, and back to Gerry.)
Aminta: You have brought me
To that moment when words run dry
To that moment when speech disappears
Into silence
Silence.
I have come here,
Hardly knowing the reason why
In my mind I've already imagined
Our bodies entwining
Defenseless and silent,
Now I am here with you
No second thoughts
I've decided
Decided.
Past the point of no return
No going back now
Our passion-play has now at last begun.
(Aminta places finally reaches Gerry, and places herself in front of him, looking up into his eyes, even though she knew it'd strain her vocal cords.)
Past all thought of right or wrong
One final question
How long should we two wait before we're one?
(At this she grabs his hands and places them on her hips as she turns and presses her back into his abdomen. She starts slowly grinding herself against Gerry, and can slowly hear him start to make small groaning noises)
When will the blood begin to race
The sleeping bud burst into bloom
When will the flames at last CONSUME us?
(Gerry places his hands on her shoulders and spins her around into his arms and places a heated kiss onto her lips. Aminta pulls away. Trying to regain his dignity, Gerry says:)
Gerry: Ye know, ye should audition foor the part of Christine.
(Aminta blushes, but keeps her cool)
Aminta: I'm burning up; how are you doing, Gerry?
Gerry: I'm consumed.
(Gerry pulls her in for another kiss that lasts for a few minutes. They end up with Gerry seated on the bottom stair, with Aminta gyrating her hips into his lap as they continue "playing tonsil hockey". Aminta finally pulls away after a few minutes.)
Aminta: Well, I'm rather tired. I'm going to bed. G'night, Gerry. (With that final word, she pulls him in for one last kiss. She pulls away, her gaze lingering on him before she finally turns away.)
(Out of nowhere, Bill walks over to Gerry, and pats him on the shoulder)
Bill: Looks like you're getting somewhere with this girl, Gerry.
Gerry: Yeah, yeah, you're not getting your way. I'm not whipped.
Bill: I know you're not. In fact, you're head over heels.
(Bill walks off to leave Gerry staring off into space and suffering a painful case of blue balls.)
(Saturday afternoon at beach house. Aminta and Gerry leave for their tour. Aminta is amazed
by everything.)
Jesse: (As they pass by them on the beach eating ice cream.) Has he done her yet?
Renn: Not yet.
Jesse: (Secretly relieved)Ohh . . . (Aminta and Gerry go dancing and see the town.)
(Aminta and Gerry go to a meeting with Joel Schumacher and Andrew Lloyd Webber about the movie. Gerry introduces Aminta)
Joel: She's just as beautiful as you'd described her Gerry. (Aminta blushes and gazes adoringly at Gerry, who shyly smiles back)
Gerry: She can sing, too.
Aminta: Well, just a little bit, but-
Webber: Would you care to sing for us then, dear?
Aminta: Well, I'm not prepared or anything… wants to have her pull a Jazz flute out of her sleeve, but that wouldn't work here. DANG IT.
Gerry: Wut are ye talkin' aboot? Ye know every note of Andrew's songs like the back of yer hand!
Webber: (interested) Really?
Aminta: Yes, I'm actually quite a big phan of le Fantom de l'Opera, and your musical has touched many hearts, mine among them.
Webber: Well put, my dear, and I thank you. I'd be honored to hear a voice that's praised so highly as yours.
Aminta: Praised?
Joel: Oh, Gerry wouldn't shut up about you on the phone this morning. You'd think he was a school girl with the amount he talked. (Gerry blushes, and Aminta joins him)
Aminta: Well, if you'd like to have your eardrums burst, I guess I could whip something up…
(Webber and Joel smile at each other, thinking the same thing as they hear her sing. She sings "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" as she previously had in the garden. Joel approved whole-heartedly, but Webber had plenty of comments. By the time he was done criticizing her, she was close to tears, but she took it like a man, and remembered every word, so she'd be able to sing it properly the next time.)
Webber: All in all, you did a WONDERFUL job! I'd like to hear from you again sometime soon, if you don't mind. How long have you been taking lessons for?
Aminta: I've never had any lessons before, I mean, other than chorus in middle school, and some tips here and there from friends. That, and a LOT of practicing in the shower. It's been said that shampoo bottles are my best audience.
(Everyone laughs light-heartedly. Gerry and Aminta say goodbye, and get back home late in the evening. Life continues as it did for the first 6 days.)
Gerry: (walking into Aminta's room after politely knocking) I was woonderin' if maybe ye'd want to accumpanee me to dinner this evening?
Aminta: (brushing her hair with a fork had to have it in there somewhere) I'd love to! I mean, where to? What is the dress code?
Gerry: Formal. I'll see ye tonight. (Leaves before she notices he'd nervous)
(Aminta is picked up in a horse-drawn wagon at the front of the hotel.)
Katie Phatty: (Passing by in town) Yo, Jesse! Any screwing?
Jesse: No, not yet.
Katie Phatty: Hmm. Well they - they better get crackin'.
(Gerry and Aminta share a wonderful meal, accompanied by Joel and Andrew, in which Joel and Andrew tell her they want her to be Christine in the play. She accepts, and they toast to their good health and to a good movie. After the meal, Joel and Andrew depart, and they go back to the hotel. They continue going on dates even when they're staying in Britain for filming. On the evening before the thirtieth day of the third month, on the last day of filming, Gerry surprises Aminta with a romantic walk on the beach in the setting sun. They end up in the garden, where they had their first kiss.)
Jesse: Move over - move your big hips. I can't see a thing.
Katie Phatty: Nothing is happening. . . . Only one day left, and that boy ain't
Gone up her skirt once. O.K. All right, this calls for a little vocal romantic
stimulation. Stand back. (She creeps up second heat-invisibilitybehind a large rock and sings very badly.)
Gerry: Wow. Sumebody should find that poor ahnimal and put I' out of its misery.
Renn: Jeez, man, I'm surrounded by amateurs! You want something done,
you've got to do it yourself. First, we got to create the mood.
Percussion. . . . Strings. . . . Winds. . . . Words. . . .
There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don't got a lot to say
But there's something about her
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna screw the girl
Gerry: Did you hear something?
Renn:
Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
Possible she wants you too
There is one way to ask her
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and screw the girl
Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look like the boy too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl
Gerry: You know, I feel really bad not knowing anything about you.
Aminta: I prefer not to talk of it, if you don't mind.
Gerry: If you don't want to talk about it, that's alright. I don't mind. I just want to spend the night gazing in your eyes. GAG CHEESE
Renn:
Now's your moment
Basking in the full moon
Boy you better do it soon
No time will be better
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word
Until you screw the girl
(Gerry and Aminta start to kiss)
Sha la la la la la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and screw the girl
Sha la la la la la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how
You want to screw the girl
Sha la la la la la
(The kissing starts to get heavy, and they're soon rolling together in the grass.)
Float along
And listen to the song
The song say screw the girl
Sha la la la la
The music play
Do what the music say
You got to screw the girl
You've got to do the girl
You wanna screw the girl
You've gotta do the girl
Go on and screw the girl
(Marek and Westley activate the sprinkler system, causing Aminta to giggle and roll out from on top of Gerry. She tries to get up, but slips. Gerry catches her)
Gerry: Whoa, hang on - I've gotcha. (Marek and Westley congradulate each
other.)
(Cut to Karson's cavern.)
Karson: Nice work, boys. That was a close one. Too close. The little tramp!
Oh, she's better than I thought. At this rate, he'll be screwing her by
sunset for sure. Well, it's time Karson took matters into his own hands!
Phantom of Hollywood's daughter will be mine - and then I'll make him writhe. I'll see him
wriggle like a worm on a hook! (Laughing, she transforms into a beautiful glamorous woman with
Aminta's strong hands, singing voice, and massaging abilities.)
(Fade to castle at night. Gerry is singing Music of the Night and contemplating as
Gerry's Agent approaches.)
Gerry's Agent: Gerry, if I may say, far better than any dream girl, is one of flesh
and blood, one warm and caring, and right before your eyes. (Bill walks off, and Gerry sees Aminta, and
sighs. He is distracted by Karson/Vanessa singing with
Aminta's voice and is placed under her spell as she makes her way over to him, and starts to massage his shoulders.)
(Katie Phatty flying toward castle in morning.)
Katie Phatty: Aminta! Aminta, wake up! Wake up! I just heard the news. Congratula-
tions, kiddo, we did it!
Renn: What is this idiot babbling about?
Katie Phatty: Right - as if you two didn't know, uh? The whole town's buzzin' about
Gerry gettin' himself hitched this afternoon! You know, he's getting
married! You silly sidewalker! I just wanted to wish you luck. I'll catch
you later, I wouldn't miss it! (Aminta brightens and runs downstairs, only to
see Gerry and Vanessa together.)
Gerry's Agent: Well, uh - err, Gerry. I-it appears that I was mistaken. This mystery
maiden of yours does - in fact exist. And - and she is lovely. Congratula-
tions, my dear.
Gerry: We wish to be married as soon as possible.
Gerry's Agent: Oh, yes - of course, Gerry, but, er - but these things do take time,
you know. . . .
Gerry: This afternoon, Bill. The wedding ship departs at sunset.
Gerry's Agent: Oh, oh - very well, Gerry - as you wish. (Aminta runs off crying.)
(Cut to late afternoon as wedding ship starts to leave. Aminta on pier
crying bitterly as Renn and Jesse look on.)
(Cut to Katie Phatty rowing her raft out in the ocean once again and humming to herself.)
Vanessa: What a lovely little bride I'll make, my dear I'll look divine
Things are working out according to my ultimate design
Soon I'll have that little hick-maid, and Hollywood will be mine!
Katie Phatty: (Seeing real Karson in mirror.) The leader of the Fab 6! Oh no . . . She's-
I gotta. . . (Runs into side of ship, crashing her raft. Swims off to find Aminta.) Aminta!
Aminta! Aminta. I was swimming, I wa - of course I was rowing first - An' - I s- I
saw that the watch - the witch was watchin' a mirror, and she was singin'
with a stolen set o' pipes! Do you hear what I'm tellin' you? GERRY
IS MARRYING THE LEADER OF THE FAB 6 IN DISGUISE!
Renn: Are you sure about this?
Katie Phatty: Have I ever been wrong? I mean when it's important!
Jesse: What are we gonna do? (Aminta hears Karson's voice in her head as the
sun drops.)
Karson: . . . Before the sun sets on the thirtieth day of the third month. . . . (Aminta jumps in water
but can't swim well. Renn sends down some barrels.)
Renn: Aminta, grab on to that. Jesse, get her to that boat as fast as
your ninja skills can carry you!
Jesse: I'll try.
Renn: I've gotta get to the Phantom of Hollywood. He must know about this.
Katie Phatty: What - What about me? What about ME?
Renn: You - find a way to STALL THAT WEDDING!
Katie Phatty: Stall the wedding. Wh- what am I - what - that's it! (He flies off to
rally the hobos and football team.) Move it, let's go, we got an emergency here!
(Cut to wedding in progress. Max growls at Vanessa but she kicks him.)
Priest: Dearly beloved . . . (Jesse is pulling Aminta toward ship.)
Jesse: Don't worry Aminta. ugh - we - we're gonna make it. We're almost
there.
Priest: Yes, um, do you Gerry, take Vanessa, to be your lawfully wedded wife,
for as long as you both shall live?
Gerry: (Under spell.) I do.
Priest: Eh, and do you . . . (Hobos swoop in for attack, causing
great chaos.) . . . then by the power inves-(#69 tackles Vanessa)
Vanessa: Get away from me you slimy little- Oh, why you little- (In the
struggle, the glass vial holding Aminta's voice it broken and it goes back to her.
Gerry comes out of the spell as she sings and grasps his shoulders with a grip of steel.)
Gerry: Aminta?
Aminta: Gerry.
Gerry: You - you have a strong grip. You're the one.
Vanessa: Gerry, get away from her!
Gerry: It - it was you all the time.
Aminta: Oh, Gerry, I - I wanted to tell you.
Vanessa: GERRY NO! (The sun sets and Aminta becomes a hick once again, in sweats and makeup-less and hair in a ponytail.)
Karson: You're too late! You're too late! So long, loverboy.
Gerry: Aminta! (Karson and Aminta disappear in a flash of blinding yellow light. Jesse and Renn run to Gerry to tell him where Aminta went to.)
Karson: Poor little princess - it's not you I'm after. I've a much bigger hick
to -
Phantom of Hollywood: Karson, stop!
Karson: Why, Phantom of Hollywood! Ha ha ha - How ARE you?
Phantom of Hollywood: Let her go.
Karson: Not a chance, Phantom of Hollywood! She's mine now. We made a deal.
Aminta: Daddy, I'm sorry! I - I - I didn't mean to. I didn't know -
(Phantom of Hollywood attacks the contract with a fierce blast from his shotgun, to no
avail.)
Karson: You see? The contract's legal, binding and completely unbreakable -
even for YOU. Of course, I always was a girl with an eye for a bargain.
The daughter of the great phantom is a very precious commodity. But - I
might be willing to make an exchange for someone even better. . . .
(Cut to Gerry throwing on a helmet with mic in it, while he gets controls ready in a personal jet.)
Gerry's Agent: Gerry! What are you doing?
Gerry: Bill, I lost her once. I'm not going to lose her again.
(Back to Karson and Phantom of Hollywood.)
Karson: Now! Do we have a deal? (Phantom of Hollywood signs contract.) Ha! It's done then.
(Aminta is released and Phantom of Hollywood is turned into a mannequin wearing gangsta clothing as Karson laughs.)
Aminta: No . . . Oh, No!
Renn: Oh, your majesty . . .
Aminta: Daddy? . . .
Karson: (Picks up mask.) At last, it's mine. Ho, Ho . . .
Aminta: You - You monster!
Karson: Don't fool with me you little brat! Contract or no- AAAAHH! (She is snapped back to reality
with a Punjab lasso thrown around her neck by Gerry.) Why you little troll!
Aminta: Gerry! Gerry look out!
Karson: After him! (Marek and Westley attack.)
Renn: Come on! . . .
Karson: Say goodbye to your sweetheart. (Aminta makes her miss Gerry and blast
Marek and Westley.) Babies! My poor, little poopsies!
(On surface as Karson grows beneath.)
Aminta: Gerry, you've got to get away from here.
Gerry: No, I won't leave you.
Karson: (Now very large.) You pitiful, insignificant, fool!
Gerry: Look out!
Karson: Now I am the ruler of all of Hollywood! The actors obey my every whim!
The dancers and all its spoils bow to my power! (She wrecks havoc, makes the ground churn and raises some old stages.)
Aminta: GERRY! (He gets on of the stages as Aminta falls to the bottom
of the pit of churning earth. Karson attempts to blast her.)
Karson: (Laughing wickedly.) So much for true love! (As Karson is about to
finish Aminta, Gerry quickly turns some dials and pushes buttons, and tons of sacks of sand fall onto Karson and the rope which was around his neck is pulled. She is choked and dies most
horribly. Gerry collapses on the stage. The shotgun falls back to Phantom of Hollywood and
everything reverts to normal.)
(Fade to morning with Gerry at gas station and Aminta watching from a distance.
Phantom of Hollywood and Renn look on.)
Phantom of Hollywood: She really does love him, doesn't she, Renn?
Renn: Well, it's like I always say, Your Majesty. Children got to be free
to lead their own lives.
Phantom of Hollywood: You - always say that? (sighs) Then I guess there's just one problem
left.
Renn: And what's that, Your Majesty?
Phantom of Hollywood: How much I'm going to miss her. (He turns to her) Go to him, my dear. (she goes
to meet Gerry.)
Gerry: (sighs and doesn't even look at Aminta)
Aminta: (clears throat)
Gerry: Can I help you?
Aminta: But, Gerry…
Gerry: If you don't mind, I'm waiting for a chance to be with the only woman I've ever loved once again.
Aminta: But Gerry, it's m-
Gerry: Excuse me…(walks off, leaving Aminta in tears)
(fade to scene of Jesse and Aminta in her fixed-up cave of memorbilia)
Jesse: He wasn't worth it. He's a stuck-up snob who couldn't see you for the cheery, pensive, creative, intelligent, caring, loving…(he clears his throat, and looks into her eyes)…amazing-assed young woman you are.
Aminta: (Looks up at Jesse, and realizes that he's the one she's liked all this time, but couldn't see it, b/c her head was up in the clouds, and that he could see her for her true self, and liked her for who she was, even without the makeup and the glamour, bla bla bla, cheesy love story all over again)Oh Jesse… (Aminta kisses Jesse on the cheek, who blushes. Fades into evening of prom. Everyone is happy. Renn is attacked by Louis, who is the DJ. She beats Louis up and returns to the limo.)
Renn: Yes, Thank you, thank you. (Aminta and Phantom of Hollywood hug.)
Aminta: I love you Daddy.
(Big finale while "Part of Your World" music plays. Everyone slowly leaves as
Aminta pecks Jesse on the lips, grins while blushing, and enters their prom at the abandoned Victorian house, only fixed up and redecorated. Jesse stands, fixed to the spot, staring off into space, shocked, then runs in after Aminta grinning. She standing, her back facing the doorway, and she's flexing her amazing butt-muscles, as Jesse grins and they go in to dance. The last scene shows Jesse and Aminta dancing crazily in the middle of a crowd as everyone claps and cheers them on.)
All: Now we can dance,
Now we can sing,
Now we can stay all day on the stage.
Just you and me,
And I can be,
Where I belong.
THE END