Pain is the absence of love. Love is the worship of pain.
Tomo was laying down in Yomi's bed, facing the wall away form said girl. She had left herself in without any commotion at all, she wasn't cheerful as always, nor was she even happy. Today hadn't been a good day for either of them.
Yomi was absorbed in her homework and hadn't noticed the strange lump on her bed. She was miserable today and for a change it wasn't her own fault. Or maybe it was for ever letting the wildcat into her life… she'd have to think about that.
"Yomi…"the lump spoke, not really expecting an answer but hoping there would be one.
Normally Yomi would have jumped up if she heard a voice other than her own coming from her bed when she believed to be alone in her room, but this voice she knew all too well to even consider turning right now. So she ignored it.
Tomo knew she was being ignored, but she considered it only fair, as much as she hated it and herself right now, she knew this time she had literally asked for it.
Today, Tomo had been teasing Yomi at school as usual, calling her a baka and trying to piss her off, however she didn't get chased, Yomi decided to just let the wildcat grow bored and leave her alone, which didn't happen, Tomo pushed further and took Yomi's glasses, which did the trick, this sent Yomi after the petite girl trying to recover what little vision she had. However due to her current lack of sight, she had stumbled across some Sempais in the aisle and tripped over them. They were extremely angry and mean to the girl, they called her a fat mole and made fun of her in front of the whole class, everyone laughed at her. Even Yukari did, and Tomo just stood there bewildered and did nothing. This sent the currently semi blinded girl running out of school crying.
Tomo had tried to call her all day, yet she had got no response at all, Yomi didn't want to talk to her. So she went over to her house to do what little damage control she could. She hated to see her friend hurting, and what she found was only a wall. A wall to tall for her to hop and she didn't know what to do.
She had been there watching Yomi write for over half an hour and the girl hadn't even so much as acknowledged her presence, she tried to talk and got no response. It was her own fault and she knew it, and now she had to fix it if she intended to keep her friend. Yomi was too self-conscious about both her weight and her sight, and having the whole class laugh at her for both things wasn't such a good thing.
Yet Tomo decided to try once again, her entire body was screaming to her, she needed Yomi she couldn't be herself without her… And so she submitted to her, against her mind's will that kept raising with "Sometimes it's better to let the sleeping gods lie" her mouth said "You can yell at me if you want to…" she expected Yomi to react to this, submitting was by far the hardest thing for Tomo to do, before anyone.
Nonetheless Yomi did not react, she didn't care if the girl wanted to be yelled at, she wasn't going to give her that luxury, she had nothing to yell, she was ridiculed and that was that. She couldn't even stand the sight of the wildcat and wouldn't as much as turn to face her.
This was when Tomo decided… it was true " Sometimes it's better to let sleeping gods lie... And sometimes it's better to kick the door down and drag them into the light."
Tomo had reached a point of no return, she wanted Yomi, she needed her and she wasn't going to lose her over her own stupidity, and she would do whatever it took to get her back. This meant taking the last door, the last resource, the one saved for times of no return, she knew that if she went as far as opening that door she would never live it down. This would always chase her mind as she had sworn never to go there again.
But if this was for Yomi then it had to be done. No one ever gave her as much as she did, Yomi cared enough about her to scold her when she needed it, to go along with her stupid plans just so she wasn't alone, she'd go as far as to let her hurt her if it meant they could be together. Yomi was a giving person, but everything has a limit and Tomo had crossed it, meaning to or not was not the matter at hand, the point was that line was trespassed and the damage needed to be undone.
Tomo stood up from the bed, she made no noise while she walked over to Yomi's bookshelf and placed her hand on the back of the top shelf, behind the books no one ever touched. She felt the familiar shapes in her hands, she was astounded when she realized how unmistakable it was, she felt as if she had taken them only yesterday.
A sigh escaped her lips before she retrieved them. They were dusty; meaning Yomi herself hadn't wanted to remember those times, and now she was bringing them right back... More than two years had passed, she was now in high school with her. And even so that crappy feeling in her stomach came flying down, making her feel like a child much younger and vulnerable than she ever wanted to be.
Her mind flew before she could realize, it told her she could just put them back in, Yomi would never know, she didn't have to do this, perhaps she could find some other way, and if not she could always find another friend, she could do a thousand things. She shook her head violently; those ideas were the most stupid things her mind was capable of (and that was a lot to say of course). She could never live without Yomi, she knew it and even if she could find some other way to make things better, there was nothing faster or more effective, and if that wasn't enough she knew that deep down she needed this to be done, whether it was for Yomi or not.
Tomo's mind was made up, she walked over to Yomi's bed and left the items on it, next to where she was. She sighed.
: heartbeat :
A hand to her waist
: heartbeat :
Eyes closed, a rush of blood to her head.
: heartbeat :
The hand reaches the button of her pants.
: heartbeat :
Her eyes clutch harder as her other hand joins the first
: heartbeat :
She bites her lip just barely. She knows she can get through this.
: heartbeat :
The pants are undone and her hands remain still holding the waist of them. Squishing, wrinkling… Holding.
: heartbeat :
She frowns and drops every piece of clothing from her waist down to the floor in one hard move. She's better than this.
: heartbeat :
Immediately she kneels before the bed, rests her torso over it. "Bend over and take it like a girl" her mind keeps pulsing.
: heartbeat :
Her throat is dry, she breaths heavily. Her arms are by her sides, hands next to her shoulders, grabbing the covers under them. Her voice is deep and she's determined "Koyomi…" she demands. Her eyes remaining closed.
: heartbeat :
Yomi turns, angry or not, hurt or not. Her wildcat sounds serious. She's never serious.
: heartbeat :
Tomo is bent over her bed, half naked and calling her. She can't believe it, she wonders if she's hallucinating or if by some stupid joke of destiny she has traveled back in time just now. Perhaps she's asleep and dreaming… that must be it, she's having a nightmare and the raven-haired girl is sleeping in her bed, or maybe she never even went there today. Her whole body is useless, she can't move and her lips let out the only thing that comes to them "Tomo…" not a question, not a statement, just a word. She needs to know if she's loosing her mind or if the other girl is.
: heartbeat :
"You've told me a thousand times, I shouldn't take your glasses, I shouldn't call you a baka, because you aren't. I am, I know it, I should've said something over there, I should've stood up for you before you left, I shouldn't have done it in the first place. Yomi I don't get it, I never get it! But I don't want to lose you, I never want to lose you… make me get it Yomi..." Tomo's voice is rushed, she tries her best not to cry, if she's gone this far, she's going to go all the way and she's going to do it in the best way possible.
: heartbeat :
"Tomo… You're not going to lose me... You don't have to..." Yomi's tone is calm, she tries to think before she speaks, no matter how hard it has become.
"Yes, yes Yomi I'll lose you if I keep pulling this stunts, if I continue to be the stupid jerk I am with you. I don't give a rat's ass about what others can think, but you… You Yomi I can't lose, you are the only thing I have..."
: heartbeat :
"Tomo, you don't have to do this…" Yomi stands from her chair and walks to the kneeling girl and places a hand on her shoulder. "You…"
Tomo jumps at the contact. And spurs out "Yes, yes I do Yomi, you are kind and good to me, you care enough to scold me when I'm being stupid and you even put yourself in the line for me, and I don't even thank you for it. I take you for granted, and I know... I know you don't care but I do, Yomi I know that you'll give and give but there'll be a day when you get tired and then you'll blow up and leave me. I don't want you to ever leave me Yomi!"
: heartbeat :
"I wont…" Tomo cuts her off.
"Yes, yes you will Yomi! You know you already have a lot bottled up inside, I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. I don't want that there anymore… Why can't you just admit it already and get it over with?"
: heartbeat :
"Tomo, please get up, stop this already!" Yomi scolds the girl, she wont admit such thing, how could she?
"NO, I wont, Yomi I'd never let anyone do this but you, and you know it!. Even my parents I wont let even try, but contrary to popular believe I know when I'm wrong I know when I've been stupid and I also know when I'm right and right now, I am. You are lying to yourself if you say that you don't want to just grab that fucking belt and make me wish I'd never been that stupid! Even right now, you know I'm hating it and you wont as much as allow me to just shut up and take it, you are making me spell it out to you. It's not like it's the first time, don't pretend I don't know you!"
: heartbeat :
The silence was hitting Yomi. That was true, this wasn't the first time this happened, it wasn't the first time she'd seen the girl take this position, she had even taught it to her… The wildcat had a point, somewhere deep inside her, she did want to grab the belt and smack it right where it hurts, she wanted to see the girl squirm and pay for what she did… But that girl was her friend, and she loved her, how could she do that?
: heartbeat :
"Tomo, that was… that was for school" when this happened 2 years ago, it had been to help the girl be "motivated enough" to study for school and get into the one they were in right now.
"Yes, that's what you told yourself, wasn't it? but really Yomi, stop lying, maybe it was to "motivate me" but you enjoyed it, you got payback for everything I ever did to you before. I saw you smile…" that last statement was in a lower tone, but it wasn't a reproach, not an accusation. It was just the truth.
: heartbeat :
"I… I… I didn't Tomo…" Yomi couldn't believe she had smiled, whatever it might have been for, she couldn't believe she could have smiled.
: heartbeat :
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad Yomi, when you were done you always looked at me in a different way, a clean way, no hard feelings, no resentment, no disappointment. Just us, and that's what I want Yomi, to clean the record already… Please don't make me talk anymore… I know I humiliated you, but please just do it already… please…?" Tomo was on the verge, if she spoke one more word, one of two things was going to happen… either she was going to start crying, or she was going to sprint out of there in a second and not look back. And all chances pointed towards the latter, she wouldn't let herself cry over such a pathetic scene in front of anyone… not even Yomi.
: heartbeat :
Yomi could feel all the pain in her little girl's words, she knew the wildcat was suffering more from this than she could possibly if she actually did what her she was asking for. So she made the choice. She lowered her head to face the other girl and kissed her on the lips.
: heartbeat :
Tomo opened her eyes at this and found Yomi's closed. It was a soft kiss filled with reassurance. Yomi wouldn't hurt the girl, when they parted, Yomi looked at her lovingly and put her hand on Tomo's only for a second and then moved to the right and retrieved the belt that had been set there for her to take. Tomo smiled and then closed her eyes back and rested her forehead against the bed.
Yomi stood up holding the belt, it was thin and medium size, a normal black belt. She folded it in two and looked once more at the girl that offered herself under her eyes, without a second thought she lifted the belt and with one swift move smacked it on the small girl's rare. The only response she got was the sound it made and Tomo wrinking her covers some more. She didn't mind.
The blows kept coming down, it became harder by the moment for Tomo to remain silent, she tried not to move, not to cry, not to react… but there was only so much she could take. Soon her cheeks were a deep crimson, they burned so much she couldn't hold it anymore, she started squirming under Yomi's ministrations.
Yomi saw her, she saw her work, but she wouldn't stop now, if Tomo had so persuasively, so heartily asked for it, she would be generous enough to give it to her the right way. Just the way she asked for it. And this meant not to stop until she was done.
Soon enough, Tomo was biting her lip, smashing the covers, breathing heavily, and about to beg for Yomi to stop, she had already said "I'm sorry" so many times in such a low tone, she couldn't even count them. But she didn't want to tell Yomi she couldn't take it anymore, she wanted Yomi to get it all out, no matter how much it hurted, because if it did, it was her fault. All she was getting, she had earned on her own.
Yomi did a thorough job with the other girl's rare and thighs, it was all a consistent tone of deep red, not a spot missed and she was certain the burning and stinging was just as deep and constant. But she wasn't done.
She knew the very moment Tomo couldn't hold it, she knew the moment when if she smacked her once more she would scream for her to stop. And that's when she took a break. She went back to her chair, placed it in the middle of the room and sat on it. Tomo was calming down.
Tomo wondered if everything was done, if perhaps she had already paid her dues… And now Yomi was just taking extra gratification, seeing her humiliated like this, she wouldn't stand up, she wouldn't end this on her own. If this was what Yomi wanted in retribution, she didn't have the heart to deny it.
Yomi took a moment sitting down, to study the girl's reactions one by one, and right when Tomo started getting nervous, she spoke "Stand up".
Tomo did as she was told… "it's over" she thought, she stod up and was about to pick her clothes when she heard Yomi's voice "What are you doing?" Tomo looked at her in wonderment. "I said stand up, not anything else" Yomi was commanding, and the wildcat didn't have much choice, she dropped the clothing once again and just stood still. This wasn't over.
"Come over here, and you can leave those were they are. You aren't going to need them" Tomo gasped, she wasn't expecting this… what was going to be next?
Once Tomo was standing next to Yomi looking down to the floor, the sitting girl took her had and pulled gently making Tomo bend once more, this time she ended up on Yomi's lap.
"Yomi…" Tomo hated this, she couldn't believe it, out of everything she could do, why chose this?
"Are you going to stop me?" the question was perfectly phrased… she couldn't stop Yomi, she owed her this and she had even asked her to do it… what could she possibly do if not take what was left? Humiliating and shameful as this might be, what Yomi had gone through could be categorized as worse, this was between them, Yomi's had been in front of the whole class.
"Iie… sumimasen" Tomo could have apologized more directly but she didn't want Yomi to think she was asking for forgiveness for anything but the small lapsus.
"Yokata…" Yomi placed her right hand on the redden cheeks and caressed them for a few seconds. She knew this was killing Tomo. But a good spanking isn't done until some tears are spilled and so far Tomo had kept hers in.
Yomi started spanking her one at a time, this was more than Tomo could take, the pain was lighter than the belt of course but her already sore behind made it all that worse, and to worsen the situation, to be laying on Yomi's lap was just too pathetic, she wasn't a toddler that had misbehaved, this was the ultimate downer.
The wildcat had enough, tears started to storm down her face, her hands gabbed Yomi's leg, she was reduced to a child, a sobbing and begging child. All she wanted was Yomi's forgiveness. "Yomi… please… forgive me! I've been an asshole this whole time… please… forgive me… I can't… it hurts too much… please…" her voice was filled with regret and pain.
Yomi was done now, the job had been successful, her child was now squirming and begging in her lap, she gave Tomo two more minutes of good teaching and then stopped. She sat the girl down in her lap, and took her between her arms.
Everything was forgotten.
Tomo cried honest tears on her friend's shoulder, she hugged her tight, she needed that warm around her. Yomi took her like a small child and let her rest in her. Rocking her so she calmed down faster.
The scene was breathtaking, both girls merged in the embrace, their tears mixing their souls singing to each other… And the red headed figure outside the window got it all in writing…
Tomo needed to be sure, she needed confirmation, tangible confirmation. She parted from the hug just barely, she wanted to see Yomi's face, and she was met with the very sight she sought, the taller girl's eyes were clear, the tears were generated from love, pain and pride… Yomi was proud of the wildcat for behaving like such a strong girl, all for her.
Pain is the absence of love. Love is the worship of pain.
These were the moments that kept them bonded so close together. After sitting there for an amount of time neither of them could make out, love in the purest of forms started purring out, they shared kisses, caresses, pants and moans, but this time. They were brought up by passion and pleasure…
This was one more night in the life of Takino Tomo and Mizuhara Koyomi…
Notes:
Iie: No
Sumimasen: a way to apologize smoother than "Gomen nasai" it's similar to "excuse me".
Yokata: Ok
I hope you liked the story, and well… Will you please tell me what you thought of it? Good, Bad, anything goes !
If you have something to say, then I have something to listen to, please R&R.
I'm thinking of perhaps putting a second part to this, how Yomi deals with this and … Maybe even goes to Sakaky for some "action" of her own. Tell me if I should go ahead, or better leave it at this, will you?