Wines
He's set the trap. God damn it, this was going down. DOWN. Because, honestly, they just needed to bang and, and -- for god's sake, leave him alone! It would be well worth the expensive wine to see them drunk, then maybe jumping each others bones. So, so, worth it.
Foreman adjusted the shades again. Hopefully, he could watch without the other two noticing him. No need for anyone to think that he was a kinky bastard and was trying to get a free show. No . . . not him, he was just interested in getting his sanity back. Whatever was left of it. This place was driving him mad to begin with. That damn House was . . .
. . . drinking the damn wine! Foreman choked on his spit. No! This couldn't go wrong!
"You can come out now." The other doctor waved his cane.
Foreman glared through the shade. Who was going to blame him when he came in with a sawed off shot gun, eh? It was just murder, he was sure.
"Or not." House plunked the bottle back down, taking a seat. "But, white wine wasn't going to do it."
Silence.
"White wine is the wine of love. Red wine is the wine of lust."
More silence.
"You know, it's pretty easy to see through that shade."
"Don't care."
"Aw, stop acting like a two year old and come daddy at the table. He promises he won't get drunk and beat on you. Then again . . . this is some good stuff. I make no promises. I might beat on you. Definitely getting drunk."
He still stayed where he was. House cast him a bored glance.
"Look, you need red wine. Why? Color association. Women see red and, bang, orgasm. Or something like that. Ever done it with a girl who's drunk? It's something terrible at first but -- "
Foreman finally poked his head out of the adjoining room.
"I knew that'd get you to come out. Anyways, you're going about this all wrong."
"I know, the wine, just don't -- "
"Visted your local vet yet?"
"The vet? I don't have any -- "
"I know. But not for your pets. For your breeding stock."
"My . . . breeding stock?"
"Ah yes, see, while it's not normal to inject people with stuff to make them all horny, it's completely normal when you're breeding, say, horses."
"Horses?"
"Yes, quite common. Got to give that mare the extra jolt she needs to be ready for a twelve hundred pound stallion to -- "
"I don't need -- what? What did you do?"
"Well, they didn't have to drink the coffee at all, in fact, they could have avoided it."
"You gave . . . Chase and Cameron . . . horse drugs?"
"Look, you, of all people, should know what it's like with them dragging the entire atmosphere down -- "
"Actually, I think it's you that does that -- "
"They just needed a little push."
"PUSH?"
House shrugged. "Does it matter? You were planning on getting them drunk. This is less embarrassing. They were just both horny and right there."
Foreman groaned.
"Don't worry. They'll be fine. I emptied all the sharp things out of the closet. How much did you pay for this? It's good."