A/N: Unfortunately there are only going to be about six more chapters so that I can move onto other stories. I'd rather finish what I've started than move onto something new, in case people are waiting for updates.
Are You Nervous?

-Marissa-

I woke up the next morning, lying on my side, holding my stomach in both my hands. Feeling the sickness starting already, I stood up and walked to the bathroom. Leaving the door open for the breeze, I kneeled down in front of the toilet with one elbow resting on the lid, my cheeks in my hand. Leaving the lid up makes me sick to begin with because then I just end up staring into it.

I sat there for about ten minutes until I heard a light knock, as someone's footsteps trailed right up to the bathroom doorway.

I turned to look and a familiar voice said, "Hey, Marissa, I hope I'm not waking you up-" Trey stopped in the doorway. He stopped mid-sentence when he saw me sitting there in front of the toilet. I didn't say a word. I was shocked that he showed up here. I haven't actually seen him since he tried to kill his own brother.

"Oh no," he finally said with sympathy in his facial expression. "How long?"

"Three months. Keep your mouth shut through. I haven't told anyone."

"Oh man, it must be so hard-"

"It is," I interrupted.

"Well, what are you gonna do? You think you can handle everything on your own?" he asked.

"No, I can't. I'm getting rid of her."

"Wait, what? Her?"

"Pregnant women can usually sense whether their baby is a boy or a girl. Mine's a girl. I can just feel it."

"But what about-"

"I've already made up my mind. I can't do it. I just can't take it anymore. I'm tired and I'm all alone. I can't wake up to an empty bed then be sick for hours every morning. I don't have the strength. Not with Ryan gone. It's too much for me."

"But where are you going to have it done?"

"At one of the clinics on the other side of the sate, so my mother doesn't somehow find out."

"But do you even have the money?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "I realize it costs thousands of dollars but now that my mother is married to Dr. Roberts, I could steal three grand from her and she'd just think I went out to by some designer dress or something. It wouldn't even phase her."

"Okay…um…want me to go with you?"

How are you doing with it?
Hey, are you nervous?
Everything that you've
Ever known
Will go up in flames
Tell me, are you nervous?

And the sky will fall
Down on you
And the world still turns
Round round round
And the sky will fall
Down on you
As your life goes on
Down down down

Everything that you've
Ever done
Will come back to haunt you
Tell me, are you nervous?
Now you know that it
Is for sure
How are you taking it?
Do you deserve this?

We drove for hours, mostly on highways. It was dark and cloudy all day. Definitely set the mood for what I was about to go and do.

Trey looked over at me. I saw it out of the corner of my eye but I didn't turn my head to look back at him.

"Look, I know you're probably really nervous about everything right now. But while I finally have the chance, I want to say I'm sorry for what happened. I was really an idiot. But once I hooked up with Alex, I changed a lot. I stopped getting so fucked up. I came back down to earth a little bit.

Just as we pulled into the parking lot of the clinic, Trey stopped talking. He walked beside me across the lot and all the way into the waiting room, holding all the doors open for me.

I sat in the chair, shaking my leg as I got more nervous. Eventually Trey put his hand on it and stopped the movement.

The door opened and a nurse in blue called out, "Marissa Cooper?"

Once I walked into the exam room, I sat in the chair and they turned it back so I was laying with my waist higher than my head.

"Would you like the procedure explained to you?" The nurse asked calmly.

"Please, no."

The nurse lifted my ankles to place my feet in the stirrups. I looked down at them noticing they were the regular exam stirrups. They had straps that held my feet tight so I couldn't close my legs or kick around at all. I felt trapped.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to change my mind but no sound came out. I saw the doctor lift something hard and cold and he inserted it into me. It felt like he was hooking my insides and trying to rip them out of me.

After a minute or two, the doctor pulled the metal object out and it was dripping with blood. A couple nurses gathered around and looked confused. The doctor walked out of the room with the metal tongs and the nurses went to the other side of the room whispering about something. I turned my head thinking about how instead of saving myself, I was really only hurting myself.

A nurse walked up to my side and said, "Miss Cooper? The doctor has just informed us that based on his observations, this medical procedure was completely unnecessary. It appears to us that you suffered a miscarriage nearly two weeks ago."

I should have known. I should have taken another test. Why didn't I think of it? I should have made sure before I did this. Instead, I put myself through something more painful than I'd ever felt before.

I bled for two and a half weeks.

Disclaimer: I do not own The OC or any of its characters. The song is "Are You Nervous?" by Rock Kills Kid. They own the song.