( A/N: so. The marauders and Lily are disguised in harry and ron's time to help them look for a Horcrux, Hermione's dating malfoy, what else can happen? let's see, They're going to attend a DADA class where they learn some stuff about Inferi that I made up, Sirius is going to get mauled by an angry girl and he's going to come up with an ingenious plan, and Ron is going to have a random thought and be framed. Want to know more? Then read the frikkin' story. GRRRR…..)
Still September 17, an hour after last entry
That was the wierdest DADA class ever! Although I'm still a little wet from the experience…(she kissed me!) ----
"Now today, we're learning about how to defeat an Inferi. If what I've heard is true, your last teacher left you under the impression that you should ask the thing if it was the imprint of a departed soul or an Inferi. That teacher, coughSnapecough, was an idiot. If you asked an Inferi if it was the imprint of a departed soul, you'd be dead in two seconds flat. So now we'll be learning the CORRECT way to identify one." Lupin smiled as giggles erupted from around the class at the mention of the idiot, Snape. Then he proceeded to take roll.
"Ah, new students?" he asked. He's a bloody good actor.
"We're here for another three days. We're thinking about transferring here," Lily/Arya said.
Lupin nodded.
"Right. What are your names so I can write a note to the other teachers?" They recited their names and Lupin wrote them down.
"I trust you're finding your way around Hogwarts?" he asked.
"We have guides," said Remus/Aidan. He indicated me and Harry sitting next to them. Then class continued.
"Inferi have the ability to look completely human. Just looking at one doesn't easily identify them. However, since they can't think for themselves, if you tried to talk to one, it would just grunt at you. Then kill you. Which is why you shouldn't use that method. Anyway, Inferi have plain features, dark clothing, etcetera, but people can fit that description, too. There are two ways to kill one, two spells you can use. Without dying.
"Inferi can't stand light or heat, so one thing to do is shoot hot water at a suspicious character. But you should only do that if you're certain it's an Inferi. I once shot an undercover Auror with a jet of water because I thought he was an Inferi. Not pretty.
"Now, can anyone tell me what the incantation 'Aquas Branda' does?" Nobody answered. Not even Hermione (gasp!). Then, hesitantly, Sirius/Hunter raised his hand.
"It causes a stream of hot water to flow from something."
"Very good. Normally I'd give you five House Points, but seeing as you're not in one…Just out of curiousity, how did you know that?"
"We flooded the dining hall at our own school once. We got to eat lunch outside, like a picnic." Several people laughed, but two people (we were having class with the 6th and 7th year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws, seeing as the school was considerably smaller) continued staring at him even after class resumed: Romilda Vane and a 7th year Ravenclaw named Rachael. Rachael's pretty hot…light brown hair and green eyes…yeah. I was so busy staring at them staring at Sirius, I missed the rest of Lupin's speech on 'Aquas Branda.' So busy, in fact, that I didn't see Professor Lupin in front of me until a current of hot water starting gushing onto my head. As I was later informed, he'd noticed me not paying attention and had announced that he would perform the spell on me using a marble. After the incantation, water streamed from the marble onto me. I'm still wet. And Hermione…she was giving me that you-got-what-you-deserved look that made me want to punch something. Speaking of punching, Sirius got mauled outside class today. It was Rachael. When we got out, we were talking in the hallway about the class, and Rachael tapped Sirius on the shoulder.
"Did you say your name was Hunter Black?" she asked.
"Actually it's Hunter Ro- Wait, did you just say Black?" That was when she swung her textbook into the side of his face.
Sirius let out a grunt as he fell to the floor, bringing Rachael with him. She landed on top of him and (since she'd dropped the book) sat up and tried to punch him. He grabbed her wrists and stared at her.
"So," he finally said, "Rachael Searle." I looked at Harry. How had he known her name?
"I remember, Black," she hissed (quietly, so no one else could hear). "Four students, missing for three days, three of them famous for flooding the Great Hall, among other things."
"So you're doing it?" he asked with a grin.
"Why do you think I'm here?" Sirius laughed, then lifted his head up and kissed her. I mean, I'd heard Sirius was a flirt, but this was just whack (A/N: no, Ron didn't really write 'whack', it's just a reference to my other story. And to TEEN GIRL SQUAD! Cheerleader: "that's whack" So-and-so: "wiggety wiggety whack?" Cheerleader: "nope, just regular kind.").
"Good to see you Rowan," he said. Rachael (or is it Rowan?) got up and grabbed her book before stalking off with a faintly surprised air.
REACTIONS OF PEOPLE WHO WERE WATCHING:
Romilda Vane- shocked, jealous (uh oh)
Sirius- still lying there, grinning insanely
James and Remus- laughing uncontrollably
Lily, Harry, and me- huh?
When we resumed walking down the corridor, James explained to us (seeing as Sirius was still grinning like a maniac and couldn't stop).
"It was Truth or Dare. Wormtail didn't want to play, so we invited Rowan Hall to play. Of course, we figured we needed some help coming up with some creative dares, so we each chugged a bottle of Firewhiskey," he said. Lily snorted.
"It was magical Truth or Dare, so there was no chickening out, and Sirius dared Rowan to return to school as a seventeen-year old named Rachael Searle when Prongs's child was in his or her seventh year," Remus said.
"And she's going through with it!" Sirius said with an exultant smirk. Lily gave an exasperated sigh and then spoke.
"So just kissed a thirty-seven year old woman?"
"No! The conditions were that she had to take a Youth Potion then disguise herself. She really is seventeen. She's going to be for the whole year," Sirius explained.
"She still acts seventeen, too. She was always hitting you, remember?" James asked.
"Oh yeah…"
"Who was that weird girl that looked really jealous when Padfoot kissed Rowan?" Remus asked.
"Uh-oh. That was Romilda Vane," Harry said. " She tried to use a Love Potion on me once, but Ron got it instead and-"
"Shut it," I growled threateningly.
"Wow. One day here and I already have girls swarming after me!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Girl," Lily corrected. "Just one girl. And a fanatical weird one at that."
"The day's not over yet, my dear Lily. Just you wait and see," he replied with a grin. She rolled her eyes.
"Hmm…Rowan said we disappeared from school for three days. I wonder what people are thinking?"
RANDOM THOUGHT FROM RON- "What the teachers are doing while the Marauders are gone":
Sprout: Whoohoo! They're gone! No pranks!
Flitwick: No utter chaos!
Slughorn: No Marauders!
party music, confetti in the teachers lounge
Flitiwck starts breakdancing
Dumbledore and McGonagall jump up and down squealing
END OF RANDOM THOUGHT FROM RON
"Oh well, we can just ask when we get back," James said. Then he bumped into somebody.
"Hullo, Hermione," I said.
"Hi, Ron." She seemed distracted. "I still can't find my book."
"Hey, I found a book," Sirius said. He pulled out her book.
"That's it!" she exclaimed. "Where'd you find it?"
"Somewhere near the dungeons. I remember because there was a giant portrait of a snake with weird eyes that kept staring at me. Really freaked me out…" Hermione's face became stony, and I realized what he was doing. Throwing blame on the Slytherins! I stifled a laugh.
"Hmm…" She turned abrubtly and headed off, calling her thanks over her shoulder. I bet she was going to go confront Malfoy! HA!
Tonight, still September 17
Well, everyone's asleep except me. sigh Malfoy has claimed that he was innocent, so blame shifted to someone who had a motive to blame him: me. Grr…
September 18 (a note from Sirius)
I, Sirius Black, have found this diary (or journal, if you want to be manly about it), and I intend to write a note in it. Yes, I have read this whole thing. I do not snore.
Now, you may think, what can that idiot Sirius possibly have to say to him, besides some creative ideas for creating utter chaos? I'll tell you what:
GIRLS.
I have and ingenious plan, which I shall now describe.
SIRIUS'S INGENIOUS PLAN FOR RON AND HERMIONE:
get Polyjuice Potion
disguise Sirius or James as Ron
get Rowan or Lily to snog Sirius or James, IN FRONT OF HERMIONE!
( I think we should use Rowan waggle eyebrows
Oh yeah. I'm a genius! A genius who does not snore and has a beautiful singing voice!
(A/N: there's another note from Sirius coming up, just so ur warned… next chapter they're going to use his plan and look for the horcrux (since they haven't been doing that like their supposed to…) who knows? Maybe they'll find it….wink wink, hint hint )