And now, a story from a person who doesn't own Psychonauts…
Stuck In A Movie!
Chapter 1: The Exposition
Razputin, better known as Raz, was the most famous 10-year-old that no one had ever heard of. His non-fame was mostly due to his having recently attained Psychonaut rank while at a top-secret summer camp only known as "That lake over there yonder" to locals and "Whispering Rock" to its members. A spacious camp, with more than enough room for 20 members, it is also completely irrelevant, as this story takes place the following year. Raz had been touring with his father in the circus, adding some "magic" elements to the show and creating some increase in business. Everything was going fine, and the show, with good reviews in tow, hit Albany. There, many were already gathered to watch another spectacle, so it would be the perfect time to invite people to see the circus.
The spectacle: Blue Sky, Blue River, a new blockbuster being directed by acclaimed director Neil McGregor. It was yet another experiment by this director, as he attempted to blend several different genres in the hope of making a comic gem. His earlier work had largely consisted of blending two genres and making them fit, but insiders had read the script and admitted this particular masterwork would be difficult: McGregor's aim was to take as many genres as he could and show how some of filmmaking's most used plot devices were in fact overused by making them seem silly. While film aficionados were there to watch the mechanics of a classic (hopefully) being made, everyone else was there to watch McGregor. Having suffered a well-publicized nervous breakdown after trying to get the script finalized, he now had to deal with a crowd hoping to catch when there would be one take too many.
Raz had already had a conversation in the van about whether he could try to fix his problem or not.
"Razputin, remember what situation you got into at the meat circus," his father warned.
"Dad, I'll ask him how he's doing first. If he needs help, I'll help him. If he feels okay, I won't mess with him. Besides, Gloria Von Gouton is starring and I have to ask her how she's doing. That way I can start talking without trouble."
"Hmm. Alright son, you do what you need to do. I'll know if you're in trouble."
The next day, around noon, Raz was walking around town, posting flyers for the next night's show. Every hotel was covered, and the newspapers had posted advertisements. The film crew was at lunch break, having already filmed the opening shot and set up the next one. The crowd was thin, and most likely wouldn't pick up until the weekend, when people would have the time to see shots during the day. As a result, it was easy for Raz to turn invisible, run past the line of people, sneak past security, and head to Gloria's trailer. No one noticed when a small piece of thin air knocked on the door to the trailer.
Gloria opened the door, and upon seeing no-one, came to the conclusion that the gaffer had pulled a ring-and-run. When she turned around, she was surprised to see a somehow familiar short, purple-haired kid.
"Aah! Who are you? Wait a second, are you from, the asylum?" She asked, turning from surprise to apprehension.
"Yes, I recognized you and I wanted to see how your career was going," Raz replied enthusiastically.
"Well, believe it or not, Mr. McGregor discovered me. I walked into the audition room, and waltzed out with this beautiful part! I've been feeling so much better after I left. This proves that my talent is ageless. But," she continued, "I'm not so sure about this director. He isn't doing so well; he's been under stress lately, and yesterday, he started cooking us breakfast before he woke up- never a good sign."
"Maybe I can help?"
"It'll be hard to do. He's bent on finishing this movie perfectly, and he refuses any distractions. You'll barely be able to talk to him, much less get him to admit he has a personal demon or two. Personally, I believe it's his perfectionism. I mean, it's good to some degree, but ordering rewrites right and left and shooting the same scene 50 times so that he has 'a wide variety of choices' for his editors is too much."
"Hmm. Maybe I can talk to him. Know anything about his past?"
"No, he's successfully kept it secret from anyone outside the immediate family ever since he started directing."
"Yeah, that could turn out to be bad. One last thing- has he fired anybody?"
"He did fire somebody with the oven last night. He's had to visit the hospital."
"No, I meant sacking."
"Oh, no. Just threatening letters to the gaffer."
"Wow. Okay, I'll get going." Raz walked out of the trailer, thinking that a guy so absorbed in his work that he poses a threat to others was going to be tough. His head would probably be filled with movie reels…
Here he was, in McGregor's trailer. He had sneaked in through the roof because the door was triple-locked. The stove outside was still hot and covered in unidentifiable mush the color of robin's eggs. Light blue with specks. The inside was totally devoid of family photos, comforts from home, or even a little trinket. Nothing but piles and piles of paper, both neatly stacked and crumpled. An uneaten lunch sat by McGregor, an impossibly gray, thin man who kept writing over his script. His desk's particular piece was mostly black with scribbles and at the very bottom, the words "Yes, it's midnight, can't you see the room is dark blue?" He went over and over it again, until he tossed the paper and began writing the words "Don't you know that this is the darkest blue it gets?"
He rewrote the line over and over again, hoping to find a spark of humor, a memorable quote, within his concept. A third of the way down, he began to repeat previously written lines.
This was serious. Raz knew it. A small door suddenly flipped through the air, slowly rotating until it hit Neil's head. He had started to scream words Raz probably shouldn't have heard, but he was already in McGregor's mind…
All characters excepting Neil are from Psychonauts and copyright Double Fine.
Neil copyright me.
Title and basic inspiration for story copyright The Aquabats!