Jackie couldn't hear anything, she was too concentrated on what she was doing. It had to be perfect, if it wasn't there wouldn't be any point. She kept doing it over and over, there wasn't enough blood. There would never be enough blood, she knew that, but what else could she do to feel anything? Jackie had first heard of cutting when she was changing for PE, and these girls Shannon and Cara were talking about how one girl was a cutter. Jackie asked what that meant, and then it hit her: cutting brings emotions, something that Jackie hadn't felt in a long time, since she broke up with Kelso. None of her friends had noticed the changes in her. They didn't notice that she stopped wearing short sleeves, that in PE she always had a jacket on, that she would give a painful face whenever someone hit her arms. It was obvious that no one cared about her, that they only saw the outside, what she wanted them to see, that none of them cared about her pain, which to her was obvious.

It became a ritual for her, she cut every night. But today she really needed it, all of Donna's questions from earlier were still going through her head. She had noticed something, and Jackie had to fight back the urge to tell her that she was raped, that she was dead inside. But she couldn't, Jackie knew that Donna could never understand, and she envied that about her.

When Jackie was finished, she heard the door bell ringing. She cleaned up the fresh cuts and went downstairs, to see Hyde at her door.

"What the hell were you doing? I've been ringing your doorbell for like, 10 minutes," Hyde said. He was glad that he had worn his glasses, because the sight in front of him was unnerving. Jackie had her hair back in a messy-ish ponytail, and she looked so pale. She looked thinner too, and there was dark circles under her eyes, which Hyde could tell she tried to cover up.

"Sorry. I was listening to music," Jackie said. It wasn't a lie, she really was. She just left out the part about cutting. "So, what do you want?"

"Well, no one was in the basement, and I was bored, so I thought I would see if you were home." Hyde knew it was a horrible lie. She wouldn't fall for it in a million years, but that was all he could think of.

"Oh, ok. Did you want to come in?"

"Yea."

Jackie led him into the living room and sat on the couch, while Hyde chose the chair.

"So," Jackie said.

"What's new?"

"Nothing much. You?"

"Same."

"So did Donna send you or what?"

"No, why?"

"Your excuse was lame. Plus we just had a monster blow out. So what does she want you to ask me?"

"Ok, she did send me. But I wanted to come. Sort of. I'm worried about you."

"There's nothing to worry about."

"Jackie, I've had my fair share of shit happen to me, but you don't have to go through it alone."

"Maybe it's different. Maybe you wouldn't be able to understand. What if it's about Michael?"

"Kelso's never had this big of an affect on you. Try again."

"Hyde, I'm fine, really."

He knew something was wrong now, ever since she tried to date him, she had called him Steven.

"You called me Hyde. Why?"

"Cause I'm not that naïve girl anymore, I know that you don't love me, and I don't love you."

"Oh." Hyde looked her over again. This time he noticed something that scared him. He took his glasses off and grabbed her arm.

"Oh my God, Jackie what happened?"

She looked down and closed her eyes. She was wearing a light blue shirt, the blood had soaked through. "Nothing. I hit my arm."

"Bull shit." He pulled up her sleeve, and Jackie automatically pulled her arm away.

"Stop it."

"You're scaring me. What did you do?"

"I'm not insane."

"I know. Jacks, please, just tell me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't know how to."

"Please, Jackie, I just want to know."

Jackie took a deep breath, and started to tell him.

"What? That I was raped by some football player? Or that I can't feel anything anymore? That I-I took a knife to by arm and I didn't feel anything? Is that what you want?"

Hyde didn't know what to do, what to say. She was right, he couldn't understand. But he wouldn't let her go through this alone. He did the only thing he could, he just held her. "I'm sorry," he said. "I know, it doesn't do anything, but I am."