Author's Note(s): While I truly love Rogue's accent from Uncanny, I have to admit her Evolution accent is much more realistic as far as modernizing the series goes(as her accent in Uncanny was more southern belle-esque I feel).
Also, I'm a little rusty on my X-Men so please be a little flexible. Currently I don't know if this is set in an alternate universe or where Evolution left off (I'm leaning towards it though). For those of you willing to help a poor author out, please see the end notes:D
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Pairing: Rogue/Remy (sorry, I'm a yuppie…but a happy one!)
Genre: I'm thinking Romance/Angst…but not unhappy angst persay (is that even possible?)
Rating: This chapter? Uh, I'll bump it to PG-13 for intellectual value and word usage. Later chapters? Not so sure. I'm rating the entire fic as T though.
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EDIT 8/14/06: I fixed the endnotes so they were understandable. :)
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To Thine Own Self, Be True
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Chapter 1: Eavesdropping Isn't Nice But It's Productive
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She had been ordered to think about the consequences of this option heavily. There was a large possibility for unexpected, and undesired, results. Anything from the complete loss of her powers, which she honestly wouldn't mind too much, to physical disfigurement to change of mutation to even death if not closely monitored. It was like playing Russian Roulette with genetic compounds and chemical forces, one mysterious vial after another.
Simply amazing. If this worked it would be the first time she would be allowed to feel someone's skin, other than her own, in years—well she knew what skin felt like, but generally not before her powers steadily drained the person like a hungry babe suckling at a bottle. Yet still, she knew the consequences could be dire. But were the consequences so dire that it would be better off living a life without being able to touch someone's skin? She just wasn't sure.
Walking across the mansion grounds, Rogue continued to mull over her options by thinking back to her discussion with resident doctor Henry McCoy…
… … … … …
"What about the side effects?" Rogue asked with little concern in her voice. The way Dr. McCoy had approached the situation alone made her feel uneasy, but with what the pills could offer her was something too delectable not to take in with enthusiasm. Still, Dr. Henry McCoy was always a very cautious man so it was always wise to pay attention to him whenever worry was laced with his presence.
"Well, Rogue, as this is not a mass-produced and manufactured prescription there are limitations as far as research and development are concerned. I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to undertake a risk such as testing it; at best it would be unprofessional of me and at worst it would be unethical." Fingering one corner of his glasses between a stalwart blue thumb and forefinger, the man known as Beast by codename yet doctor and X-Man by trade, voiced with concern his fret and worry about the endeavor the mainly russet haired woman was suggesting.
"Ah guess Ah can understand that an' all but still, Hank, Ah would be th' best person to test if it works. Think about it, if anything goes wrong Ah can always absorb Logan's healin' powers right?" Rogue's heart was so swollen with hope it almost hurt her chest as she produced each sentence she spoke. Standing only a few strides away from a magical pill that would make everything better would make anyone giddy if they were in her position she thought assuredly.
"I really wish you hadn't overheard Charles and I discussing this topic as I can only imagine the duress it will bring to you." The bulky fur-covered man allowed his arm to drape back across his chest and rest itself in the nook of his other arm, his lab coat wrinkling with the tension of moved muscle. Sighing he contemplated Rogue's offer. He was a doctor of science after-all and what better temptation than a willing assistant who would gladly undertake the risk of testing? Especially one who would have access to a walking biological med-kit. After all, wasn't it the great bard who said, "To thine own self be true"?
…And yet he knew Rogue and her distaste of her own powers. His goal was not to create the idea that mutants needed a cure, he simply sought to help those who could not control themselves yet or, at worst, those who refused to control themselves. That was the intention that lead to this discovery. And who's to stop this creation from going down the path other good intentions have taken as well? Henry thought wrly.
…And yet could Rogue control herself? In all her year's at Xavier's school she had not gained an ounce of the control she craved, instead frustration filled her palate with a sour taste. Indeed it was not that Rogue did not want control of her powers, if anything she hungered for it, so it would only be natural for her to ravenously lust after anything that might aid her in her pursuit of it. However, the fine line was, did she truly hate her powers so much that she might find her psyche addicted to the contrivance he had created? The contrivance he created in a search for aid to those who wanted their powers and yet faltered in the realm of control; was there a possibility of addiction? With Rogue there was no worry of physical addiction symptoms as much as it was mental coping. Even with all the mental exercises she had learned from Charles Xavier might not be enough to stop an instinctually craved addiction.
"Uh, Hank? Earth to Hank…" Rogue bent her body downward so that her head intercepted the line of vision her fellow X-Man had started to stare into, trying to break the furry man from his trance. As the older man's eyes came back to focus upon Rogue he shook his head slightly.
"I'm sorry, my attention must have wandered." Languidly exhaling he contemplated the situation quickly, one last time. "I'll talk to Charles about it but it will be his decision Rogue. Even if he does agree I'm sure a certain amount of restriction will have to be considered, given our situation here at the school. That's all I can promise."
"Thanks Hank, Ah really appreciate it." And with an uncharacteristic smile that was how Rogue left the medical wing of Xaiver's School for the Gifted.
… … … … …
That was how Rogue had talked Dr. Henry McCoy into considering her for a human guinea pig. Normally she would never volunteer for something like this. The way she figured it in her head, she had been used enough times that she should encounter no problems in her next life if there were one. But she could not let this opportunity pass her by, not if it meant control. Control over her powers, her emotions, her life. Touch wasn't the only thing in the world but saying it out loud would be like telling a blind person that seeing isn't really all that it's trumped up to be.
There was a certain trust she placed in each of her fellow X-Men, having been a pupil for so long underneath many of them. Beast certainly had her respect in the medical field. If there were anyone she wanted treating her for anything it was him, gynecological exams excluded. Even with all her personality issues involving trust, she knew she could trust them. Being with them since her high school days had taught her that and the missions they went through helped to strengthen that bond even if she did not see eye to eye with everyone all the time.
"There's some sort of sick perversity in a world that would allow such a thing." She grumbled bitterly looking at a temporarily gloveless hand. Fidgeting with a loose thread from the hem of her skirt she sat down beneath her favorite tree on the mansion's vast campus. In a way her own bitter musings often served as filter, something akin to selective hearing, and lately the bitterness had been seeping into her thoughts more than usual. Rogue found no joy in the fact that if there were a god he, she, or it was having a good laugh at her expense.
Life had started ruthlessly enough with her adoption to a Irene Addler and Raven Darkholme. It wasn't the adoption itself that had been harsh, as Rogue could barely remember, as much as the fact of why the two women had adopted her; which she would find out later when her powers manifested themselves. Even though circumstances had brought her through all sorts of experiences with the X-Men, such as Asteroid M, Sentinels, and even Apocalypse, she still was faced with the cruelty of an uncontrollable curse.
Rogue could still remember a little of her childhood before Irene and Raven. The one clear memory she had was in kindergarten; when she punched out Toby Johnson for wrecking her castle of wooden blocks. Despite remembering the teacher being vaguely, or maybe it was incredibly, upset Rogue remembered the feel of her knuckles colliding with the side of his head. Bare skin to skin contact, she remembered that above any anger or discomfort she may have felt. Of course when you're five, it's pretty natural that you don't really remember a lot.
Why do Ah always get th' violent memories stuck in my head? The lively southerner with the bright white strip of hair haloing around her face mused, shifting beneath the tree for more comfort. Rogue tilted her head downward to block out the sun a little more as she re-crossed her ankles and readjusted her linked fingers. She knew this wasn't a topic to take lightly, even if she could just zap Logan's quick healing power. Rogue knew better than anyone that this would not only change her powers, it would change her entire way of dealing with things. She would be vulnerable—no scratch that, she would be able to be vulnerable. She would have a choice.
And so, under the large oak tree on the far side of Xavier's School for the Gifted a certain young woman sat thinking about one thing.
Control.
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"To thine own self be true," as the great bard once said.;
-- Quote from William Shakespeare's Hamlet.
And who's to stop this creation from going down the path other good intentions have taken as well?;
-- Based on the ever popular adage, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." If it has an author I know not of it (but am willing to be enlightened).
If there were anyone she wanted treating her for anything it was him, gynecological exams excluded.
-- This is a lame attempt at humor…if you don't get it or approve of it, sorry. That kind of thing will be in this fic...especially if I keep writing it at early arsed hours in the morning.
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Authors End Notes:How am I doing here everyone? I do hope no one takes my adaptation of Rogue's past the wrong way. In this story, just for the record, I'm estimating Rogue to be about mid-late 20's, maybe early 20's at best. I'll nail down a specific age when it's needed. I just can't picture her being younger than 20 and interacting with the other characters like I want her to.
For those of you Romy fans out there who are asking where is the Remy, he's obviously not in this chapter. ;P But sadly I am a Romy fan so I don't think I can do a story (well a chaptered story) with Rogue and not have some Romy-goodness in here. But I warn you now it will probably be very little fluff and sunshine.
Beast fans or well-learned peoples, PLEASE for the love of all that's fanfiction, review or PM me with ideas for quotes. I know it's already a little cheesy here because the title of the story is the exact quote that's used in the chapter but let's just pretend that it's not overdone and cliché okay? I promise it will be well worth it later. But anyhow, I need quotes for Beast as he will probably play a major role in this story. While I read my fair share of books I'm sure that the reading repertoire of Dr. Henry McCoy would exceed my own.
So yes, please don't be shy and feel free to hit that review button. Fanfiction thrives on those like a plant does water and sunlight! ;)