A/N: this is a sad little ficcy that found it's way into my brain. R&R

Disclaimer: I do not own harry potter.

I was so close. So close to being free from this war. For a fraction of a second I let myself hope. That's why it hurt so much when it was ripped away from me. Why hadn't I lowered my wand sooner? Why did I have to doubt the old man?

I was afraid, afraid of what You-know-who would do to me and my family if I failed.

I was right to fear. My mother is dead because of my failure. My father will be next; as soon as You-know-who gets him out of Azkaban. The guard tells me that's happening tonight. You-know-who will kill him right before my eyes just like he did my mother.

I'm alone. I know no one will try to save me. Neither side, light nor dark, wants me anymore. I'm just a nuisance. Like a fly.

Dumbledore offered me freedom, or something close to it; and I hesitated.

Strange, because when You-know-who offered me power I jumped to the task – like an eager puppy.

I'm a fool. A stupid, idiotic, fool. I don't deserver to live; but oh how I want to. How I want to fly one more time. To hear Professor Binns drone on about useless history. To say I'm sorry; sorry to everyone I've ever hurt; to Granger, to Weasley, to Potter.

As much as I hate to admit it I admire them – envy them even. They have had the guts to stand up for what they believed was right. And me? Well I just wanted attention.

I wish I had helped them before. In even some small way. Because if I had then maybe they would to the heroic thing and save me.

The guard stares at me as I laugh at the absurdity of that thought. I know he thinks I'm crazy. Hell I think I'm crazy.

Nothing matters anymore. There's hardly anytime left anyways. The sun has set. Footsteps are heading toward my cell. My father is thrown to the floor in front of the bars.

He knows the end is near for both of us.

I know that he'll do everything he can to save his own skin. I also know that he has failed many more times than I have; which is why he doesn't have a chance.

"I'll see you in Hell father." I whisper.

It's funny really; I feel nothing as he is tortured before me.

Nothing matters.

I feel tears well up in my eyes. I don't want to die. I want to live. To experience everything that I have been deprived of. Like love. My mother loved me, but she couldn't show it, didn't know how.

My father's eyes go blank as the killing curse hits him in the chest.

You-know-who laughs, misinterpreting my tears, believing that they are for the dead man in front of my cell.

It doesn't matter what Lord Voldemort thinks. A small chill runs down my spine. That's the first time I've ever even dared to think his name. Lord Voldemort.

A ghost of a smile appears on my lips. It doesn't matter what Lord Voldemort thinks.

I'll be dead before dawn anyways.

A/N: hope you enjoyed, Now click the little button and review because Death loves you!