I woke up with a headache the next day. I guess we drank too. My alarm went off at 5:30, as usual. I couldn't decide what to do, get up and face whatever Hannah said about me to the entire school, or give up everything I've worked for and never go back to Point Place High again. I was actually considering dropping out. Maybe I do just need a break, I have been under a lot of stress lately, even if I don't include the rape. I want to be just like Katie, she's so free and happy. I wanted that, not the emptiness that I've felt for the past five months.

After sitting in my bed for a half hour, I decided that I should go to school and face anything that waited there. Hannah couldn't have said anything that bad anyway. When I walked into English class she just glared at me. Audrey was no where to be seen. I walked over to Katie's seat in the corner and sat next to her. "So, have you seen Audrey?"

"She's gay. Completely gay, not that that's bad thing or anything. When she heard about the rumor about Hannah liking her, she completely groped her, she practically mauled Hannah. And of course, she freaked and Audrey was humiliated. She ran into the bathroom and no one's seen her since."

"This is all my fault. I had to go and brag about gossip, and then Kelso had to tell everyone. God, could things get any worse?"

"Never say that, you just fucked everything up. I do have some good news though. This kid Frankie, he's totally awesome. He invited me over to his party tonight, and since we're as tight as weed and a bowl, I can bring whoever. You wanna come, his parties are always awesome."

"I promised Donna that we would hang out tonight, sorry. Unless the guys could come too."

"Look, Donna and Hyde are straight, Kelso's cool. But Fez and Eric, they're fine and everything, but they might not fit in with the crowd, you know?"

"They're losers," I said, I knew it already. They were losers, but they were cool.

"I can ask Frankie about them, chances are they're cool. So if they can get in, you wanna come? There's gonna a bunch of shit there, alcohol and weed and paradise."

Katie talked to Frankie and we all got into the party. We split up into groups, Eric, Donna and Fez in the Vista Cruiser, and me, Katie, Steven and Kelso in the El Camino. After a bit we were at that Frankie kid's house, and Katie showed us where the alcohol and weed was. She went off with some guy, and I stuck with Steven. He got some weed and we went into a room to go smoke it, so we wouldn't have to share.

"Since when do you smoke?" Steven asked me.

"Since I ditched with Katie," I told him.

"You ok?" Steven asked me, and I wanted to slap him for it.

"What, do you want a wrist check or something?"

"Chill Jackie. Next time I won't even ask. Here," he said, passing the joint to me. After a while we were both high and cracking up at random things, like bugs on the wall that weren't actually there, and laughing at Steven dying his hair blond, just as soon as I dyed my hair green. Suddenly the door swung open.

"Jackie! Hey, what are you doing here?" Katie asked, with some random guy's hand up her shirt.

"You invited me, remember?"

"Oh yea, no. My mind is completely blank, I guess coke and pot and Jack Daniel's ruins my mind," she said, laughing hysterically. "Come on Mark, let's go find a room, unless they want a show! Come on, upstairs, hurry!" she said as she closed the door.

"Well, that is the most fucked up I have ever seen any girl in my life," Hyde said.

"Yea, she's pretty drunk," I said. "Your eyes are really blue, like, an ocean, just bluer."

"Really? No one's ever said that before. Probably because I prefer compliments that aren't girlie ones."

"You try to sound so tough, but you're only Steven. Not some guy who has no emotions, just Steven," I said. I'm not sure if either of us understood what I was trying to say.

"You know, I actually don't hate you with a passion. I just mildly hate you now."

"That's so sweet Steven," I said, and I hugged him.

"Jackie!" Donna said as she opened the door slightly. "Jackie?"

"What?"

"Look, this party is kinda out of control, so we were thinking that we better go."

"What about Katie?"

"Some Jay guy said he would take care of her, that she's staying at his place."

"Oh, ok then. I guess we're going. Come on Steven." We both got up, and we had an amazing conversation in the car as Kelso stared out the window. That's when I realized it. As broken and traumatized as I still am, I started to fall for Steven Hyde.