A/N: I'd Do Anything for Love by Meatloaf. This song is a masterpiece and I don't care what anyone says... I won't hear otherwise.
The night of the gallery opening was a complete disaster.
The way all those rich assholes scrutinized Jenny's art made NNY's fingers twitch, but as he promised her, he would not slice their throats.
Now that would have inspired the masses for sure.
He wore a fancy suit with a bowtie and tails, while Jenny wore a white frilly dress with a pair of gloves.
They looked like royalty.
Yet no matter how hard he tried, NNY could just not get his hair to go down. He had smoothed it back with gel, but the strands would always sprout up again.
It was like his hair had a mind of its own, springing up every time someone got on his last nerve.
"You're really doing so well tonight, NNY. Everyone at this art show is still alive. I know how much you wanted to kill that man a moment ago..." Jenny whispered.
She hung onto his right arm, and NNY focused on the sound of her voice. It calmed his erratic nerves.
Seriously. What would he have done without her tonight? She almost made him... normal...
Shit. They really were a couple now, weren't they?
When the hell did that happen?
Not only was he her boyfriend, but he had sex with her now, and he enjoyed it. What gives?
There was a time when such a thing repulsed NNY. The repugnance of it always made his skin crawl, because it always reminded him of the emptiness...
Not only did he fuck her, but he dressed up for her too, and attended stupid art gallery openings.
Her art really was beautiful, and one would never assume she was crazy beneath that adorable, baby-doll facade.
NNY's art should never be shown to the public. It would induce violent fits of projectile vomiting for sure.
All these fur-wearing, diamond-encrusted bastards would be shooting carrot chunks out of every orifice if they ever saw his paintings...
He smiled tightly, his eyelid twitching as he heard the voice of the pompous gentleman who just commented on his strange boots.
NNY still wore his steel-tip boots. He didn't have much in the way of footwear, yet they were a part of his identity now.
They may as well be fused to his feet.
"Thank you," he replied. "It was... hard... I'll find him again later tonight when he retires for the evening..."
Jenny smiled, grabbing his chin gently as she faced him towards her. He gazed deep into her blues, forgetting all about the party.
"I'm proud of you. You know how much this gallery opening means to me. So that's why you're being the perfect gentleman."
She reached up onto her toes to peck him on the cheek, and NNY's eyes bulged. Then his heart raced, and now he forgot all about the party...
Now it was just him and Jenny.
"Oops. I got some lipstick on your cheek..."
She reached up to wipe his face, but he stopped her in time. "No, it's fine. I don't mind..."
Jenny raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? It will only take me a second to clean."
"Honestly, I don't mind. Better your lipstick than say... Dahlia's blood for example..."
NNY chuckled, and his mind went back to that dark place again. He was sure his eyes rolled into his skull.
He attracted the attention of several old ladies. They stuck up their noses and Jenny gasped in alarm.
"NNY... you have to be careful. Remember what I told you before we left?"
"Um... no creepy laughing, and no acting like a crazy person..."
She grinned, peering around the room.
NNY regarded her. She was terrified, as she hardly left his side all night.
She really should mingle. This was a networking event after all.
He sighed. "You don't have to stick by my side. You should go and circle the room. Make some friends."
Jenny glanced up, and once again, he lost himself in the depths of her eyes.
She was the real work of art here tonight, and anyone who disagreed was either stupid or blind.
No other woman compared to her. Not even the blonde bombshell who strutted across the room in a tight black dress.
Every man stared at her fake breasts, and it sickened NNY.
Jenny was more beautiful. Her beauty was real.
Her face had perfect symmetry, from her cute button nose to her round blue eyes, and don't forget about her rosebud lips too.
Fuck. He wanted to kiss her again.
But people were watching.
"But... I can't leave you, NNY."
Her eyes shimmered like stars, and the mere sight of them broke his heart. She truly did care about him.
He exhaled. "I'll be fine. And you don't have to worry about me murdering anyone. I'll be on my best behaviour. Promise. This is your night. So enjoy yourself."
Something glinted in her eye. Then it dripped down her cheek, and NNY tracked its movement down her face.
She was crying, and it cleaved his heart in two.
He hated seeing her cry. It did things to his internal organs.
Jenny reached up onto her toes again, placing a soft kiss on his lips, and he was transported back to that beautiful forest.
She rubbed her nose with his, and his heart skipped.
"Thank you. You're the best boyf... um... non-platonic male friend that a girl could ask for..."
NNY widened his eyes in shock.
Wow, what a mouthful.
He breathed a sigh. "Just... boyfriend, Jenny..."
Her mouth parted. "You really mean it?"
NNY grinned, and he knew he would regret his decision later. But so long as it made Jenny happy, who cares.
He nodded. She squealed, throwing her arms around him, and she really was squeaky at times.
"Thank you, thank you! You have no idea what this means to me..."
NNY gasped when she hugged too tightly, but she didn't seem to notice as she placed her head against his chest.
He cast his gaze around. Everyone was staring, and he ground his teeth.
NNY never cared much for the incessant gawking of strangers...
"Stop looking at us!"
They looked the other way, returning to their boring conversations.
Jenny grabbed his cheeks, peppering kisses all over his face, and he was covered in her lipstick.
"Does that mean I'm your girlfriend?"
She grinned, showing her pretty white teeth, and he cocked a brow.
"I... suppose..."
She giggled, pressing her lips against his mouth, and NNY's eyes widened.
How much complimentary champagne had she had? She was certainly more brazen than usual.
Finally, she skipped towards Dahlia, leaving NNY alone at last. Everyone ignored him once she vanished, and he may as well be invisible.
He preferred it that way, but it would be nice if someone just talked to him.
When would the night be over?
The reviews arrived the next day for Jenny's art show, and NNY took it upon himself to purchase her a newspaper.
He couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she read all the positive reviews.
Surely, everyone was moved by her art. Jenny conveyed so much emotion in her paintings; you could truly feel her love for the countryside when you gazed upon her gentle brushstrokes.
It was early morning. Just around dawn. NNY was just on his way to see Jenny when he stopped by a newsstand.
He paid for a newspaper, flicking through its pages until he got to the review section.
NNY's stomach dropped to his feet. "Oh, fuck."
The blood whooshed through his head as he gazed at a giant stack of newspapers.
Then he jerked his head across the street, spying a stack of newspapers at another stand, and this couldn't be happening...
Jenny could not see a single one of those scathing reviews!
Opinions. They really were like certain parts of the anatomy, but Jenny wouldn't see it that way.
Those nasty comments would destroy her. She was too sensitive.
She should be waking up about now, yawning softly with sleep in her eyes, and she had to remain ignorant.
"Fuck!" NNY cursed.
He never should have let her go to that stupid art gallery, yet Jenny was determined.
He didn't want to sound like a controlling boyfriend, but he just wanted to protect her from all the hurt.
That way, she would never have to be sad.
People truly were ignorant little thorns, and they only ever disappoint you.
If those reviewers really wanted something to complain about, then NNY should have just sent them copies of Happy Noodle Boy.
That would have put their minds into perspective.
Poor Jenny was going to get her heart broken.
NNY knew what to do.
NNY stumbled into his rundown one-story house an hour later, dropping piles of newspapers all over the floor.
He blew a heavy sigh, leaning back against the door as he wiped the sweat from his brow.
His fingers were covered in papercuts, and his face was smeared with ink, but the pain had been worth every drop of blood.
The things NNY did for love...
He only went and bought every stack of newspapers he could find in the city, or at least within a fifty-mile radius of Jenny's shop.
NNY had to protect her fragile ego after all. He cared about her too much, and he didn't want her to be upset.
She had no reason to be. Her art was breathtaking, and those reviewers were just blind.
NNY ought to find them all and kill them, but he had to deal with his current problem first.
Destroy all evidence.
He grabbed his knife, glaring down at all those newspapers.
"Now... which one of you dies first?"
His bloodshot eyes landed on a newspaper by his feet.
He pictured the smug face of one of those nasty reviewers next as he thrust his knife, stabbing him to death.
He could have sworn blood spurted from the pages, but he was too far gone.
NNY's mind hovered between realities now, making it harder to think straight.
What was real and what was fantasy?
Shredded bits of paper flew around him, but they looked like organs to NNY at that moment as he cackled like a madman.
"Hahahahahahahaheha!"
Once the newspaper was thoroughly murdered, he moved to the next, thrusting his knife deep into its pages.
NNY wouldn't stop until they were all dead.
Every last one.
At least then they wouldn't be able to hurt Jenny with their mean words.
NNY dropped to his knees, gasping for breath. He was covered head to toe in shredded bits of paper as he blew a piece away from his eyes, trying to regain his composure.
He finally returned to his senses about five minutes ago as he cast his eyes around the living room, biting his lip.
Fuck. He may have gone a little overboard...
Stabbing all the newspapers didn't amount to much in the end.
Now NNY was left with the unpleasant task of sweeping his floor.
The horror.
However, there were still a few bundles of newspapers left. Several had evaded his notice, falling beneath his couch when he'd dropped them onto the floor.
They wouldn't get away from him that easily...
After all, NNY could always bury them.
His eyes slowly expanded.
Yes... bury them in his backyard... like corpses...
With a psychotic laugh, he gathered up the bundles, stumbling out the door.
On his way around the house, he bumped into his little neighbour, Squee. NNY waved. "Hey, Squeegee! Long-time no see!"
The boy didn't speak. He just stared at NNY with slack-jawed terror, a shiny, vacant expression growing inside his eyes.
Those eyes had seen way too much after all.
So many unspeakable horrors.
NNY shifted his weight between his legs. "So, um... I suppose you're wondering why I'm holding all these newspapers?"
Squee blinked, shaking his head slowly. "Nuh-uh..."
NNY continued, regardless of Squee's lack of a sufficient answer. "Well... you're probably a little too young to understand this anyway... Really, your dad should be the one to teach you this, but Squee... promise me you will never fall in love! Love is a trap. It makes you do stupid, unspeakable things! Like purchasing every single goddamned newspaper you can find just so you can bury them in your backyard like piles of discarded corpses! Haha!"
Squee's pupils diluted, and now he looked as if he just saw a little ghost girl hovering in the corner of his bedroom...
NNY sniggered, his eyes twitching of their own accord as his mind went back to that dark place.
He thought of all the faces he was going to smear with blood once he was finished in his backyard...
"... it may make you more susceptible to violent impulses of rage! You maim, kill, or slaughter anyone who so much as tries to hurt the one you love, but in the end... you only hurt yourself... There are no winners when it comes to the conundrum of... love..."
NNY gave a melancholy sigh.
Squee blinked, his eyes flickering back and forth. Then he looked at NNY in horror. "Wait... you have a girlfriend?!"
NNY stared at the boy in shock. Squee wasn't normally so talkative. Most of the time, he just squeaked.
This was a completely whole new side to him.
Squee threw his arms up, stomping towards his house. "And I can't even get Mary Thomas to send me back a love note in class! She just says I have cooties... Ugh!"
He slammed the door, and now his muttering continued inside the house.
NNY chuckled, waving again. "It was nice talking with you, Squeegee! Remember, I'm always around if you have girl troubles!"
Finally, he moved around to his backyard to start digging.
NNY arrived at Jenny's shop, covered in ink, mud, and papercuts.
Don't forget paper bits too.
Unfortunately, he hadn't had a chance to bathe. His main priority was getting to Jenny before she read those reviews.
Hopefully, he managed to dispose of every copy before she got her hands on one.
Yet when he arrived at her brightly-colored storefront, something was off. The closed sign was still on display, and the interior of her shop was dark.
Strange. Jenny would have normally opened up by now.
NNY knocked on the door. "Jenny? Are you in there? It's me, NNY!"
No answer. So he shielded his eyes, pressing his face to the glass so he could peek inside.
She was nowhere in sight.
His heart squirmed in his chest as he swallowed audibly.
This wasn't good...
NNY cursed, running around to the alleyway beside her shop. He startled a poor cat in his haste.
"Fuck off Mr. Whiskers!"
The stray hissed at him again, then stalked off with its tail in the air.
NNY mumbled under his breath.
Stupid cats. He always preferred dogs...
Also, he was allergic. The last thing he needed right now was his sinuses clogging up with cat fur.
Stupid allergies, stupid cats, and stupid alleyway. It smelled of weed and piss.
Jenny's neighbours were definitely into some recreational drugs.
Finally, he found the fire escape to her apartment, climbing up the rusty stepladder.
When he reached her apartment, he pressed his face to the window, peering inside.
Again, she was nowhere in sight.
Ah, poo. He'd smudged her nice clean window with his grimy paws.
It looked as if NNY had climbed all this way for nothing, but he wouldn't give up. The window had been left ajar; he could slither through the small opening like a snake.
NNY squeezed his way through the tiny opening, wondering if this is what being born felt like until he finally pushed through.
He landed on his back, gazing up at the ceiling as he gasped for air.
That was definitely worse than being born...
Fuck. He may have a concussion, but it didn't matter now. He was finally inside.
He just hoped she wouldn't mind that he broke into her apartment. It was an emergency, after all.
NNY had to ensure she was all right.
It wasn't like her at all to just vanish. She was always bright-eyed and bushy-tailed from the moment she opened her eyes.
NNY sat up, peering down the length of Jenny's dark apartment. It was just too quiet, and he prepared himself for the worst, sucking in a breath.
He climbed to his feet, making his way down the hall. NNY knew his way around now; this wasn't his first time in her apartment.
Finally, he reached the door to her bedroom, pressing his ear to the wood.
He heard a hiccough, and then a soft whimper as he closed his eyes.
It was like someone gouged his heart out of his chest with an ice cream scoop.
Jenny was in that room, crying by herself.
It looked as if he hadn't gotten his hands on every copy after all.
Jenny had read the reviews...
A/N: Criticism sucks. But we need it to help us grow.
Cry, brush yourself off, and then get back on your saddle, soldier.