"A DAY AT THE SNAKE'S"

Written by: riyuna16

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, though I dreamt I did.

Summary: See how Sasuke endures his first day in Orochimaru's secret lair. We just know how this guy left a cursed seal after delightfully sinking his fangs into Sasuke's neck so perhaps they're going to do more than training... (NOT an OroSasu fic)

A/N: Wow, that was so much work. Before anything else, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to a certain Nexhaa16 who made this fanfic worth reading. YAY! Anyhow, would you guys believe me if I say that I finished this chap during our exams and ended up sleeping at 2:30 am? Yeah, I just felt plain crappy at that time and had to work myself. Anyway, please read, people, and review. -God, I'm sleepy...- Here you go... chapter four. Enjoy... :D!

"A Day at the Snake's"

Written by: riyuna16

Chapter Four: Kabuto's Revenge

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1:00 pm.

The blistering sun was already high in the sky when the two ninjas reached their destination---Orochimaru's Lair. In the entrance stood a familiar figure wearing a sleek forehead protector and eyeglasses. His arms were crossed in front of his chest as he tapped his right foot impatiently.

The sannin and his student stared at him from afar. As they came up to him, the two felt the ominous atmosphere caused by the medic-nin, Yakushi Kabuto.

"It's past lunchtime, Master Orochimaru," muttered Kabuto in a ticked-off voice. "I've been waiting for almost three freaking hoursThe food in the kitchen have been doing the same. Where were you and the container and what have you two been---"

"I'm starved," retorted Sasuke sulky as he glared at Kabuto in the corner of his eye. How dare he call him a container! What is he---just a piece of PLASTIC! "Where is the dining room? Kitchen?"

But the inquisitive medic-nin did not pay attention to the young Uchiha. "MASTER Orochimaru, as I was saying, what have you two been---"

"First, you turn left. Then go straight ahead. Then right and there you will see an old threshold," said the sannin, facing the Sharingan-inheritor. The man didn't even notice Kabuto speaking earlier. "To open it, you must choose between the two stones: the ancient pumice or the enchanted talisman. Select the stupid talisman of course, and the resplendent door will unlock upon your feat," explained Orochimaru as he smiled conceitedly at the Uchiha. "Now go ahead, my boy, and unbolt the doors to the beautiful kitchen where you will be waiting for me."

With an insolent smile, Sasuke buried his hands into his pockets and strolled to the hideaway. Kabuto gazed at him distantly as he sauntered off into the lair, disappearing into the darkness. He turned to the man beside him and crossed his arms, cocking an eyebrow at his master's sudden comportment.

"You are changing," mumbled Kabuto shadily, looking straight at the man's coal black eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, I have noticed that you are

showing favoritism," professed the young shinobi with a huff. "And that is not a good sign, master."

"How come you care so much, Kabuto?" asked Orochimaru peevishly as he crossed his arms above his chest. "Instead of inviting him to lunch, you criticize one of the legendary sannins. You should have known that he is rather hungry and uninterested to talk to you at this moment. Is that how you spend your time, Kabuto-kun---dealing with foolish things?" queried Orochimaru at one fell swoop, leaving the medic-nin speechless. "Why don't we just proceed to the kitchen and let me be with my precious student?" said sannin as he ended their conversation and treaded along the paved path to his lair. Kabuto fell silent.

"You'll see, Sasuke..." thought the young traitor ominously as he adjusted his eyeglasses with his forefinger. The man out of his sight. "You may be Orochimaru's "precious student", but you are just his pet! You are just meant to be played with, Sasuke and know that you will not, and never be, useful to him." and the thought envisioned the Uchiha. Grinning. Grinning vainly.

"Take that smug little grin off your face 'cause I'll be taking them myself, you arrogant kid!" With that, Kabuto strolled off to their dark asylum, formulating a plan in mind.

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1:30 pm.

"Well this sucks," said the young Uchiha internally as he sat in the dining table, waiting for Orochimaru and his myopic servant to arrive. In front of him lay a luscious frosted cake, a roasted chicken and a delectable, sweet apple pie. He stared at them. He felt his mouth water, craving for the delightful food he feasted his eyes on. He stared at each one again. They didn't look poisoned or infected by some toxic substance or anything. They looked as if they were bought in stores. In fact, they looked rather appealing in his eyes, as if enticing him to take a bite and experience the scrumptious sensation of...

"Dammit, that's not right," muttered Sasuke as he looked away. That was what the food were entirely wanting him to think! To think that they were not poisoned or infected by some toxic substance or anything. To think that they were bought in stores and that they were appealing! But the Sharingan-heir evaded their palatability as he stood to his feet and wandered around the shabby kitchen.

"That farsighted freak can never create such food with this kind of place," muttered the chidori-user as he gazed at the dirty dishes in the sink. "And look at this! Insects in the cabinet? Is he saving cockroaches for dinner?" he said incredulously, slamming the cabinet shut in disgust. "To think that I almost fell for all that crap," he murmured as he shook his head, denoting the luscious food on the dining table which made his mouth water. "Hn, but still I didn't eat them..." declared the young Uchiha as he smirked in conceit.

Suddenly, the deafening sound of friction of large boulders and stones invaded the silence of the kitchen. It was apparently an omen of someone's arrival.

"Sasuke-kun, are you here?" said a faint voice from the opened threshold.

"What took you and your waitron so long?" asked the young Uchiha annoyingly as he turned around to face the speaker. "Had a little chit-chat?"

"No, my boy. Kabuto and I had an argument," answered Orochimaru miserably as he took a seat on the dining table. "But it was settled... good for you."

"What do you mean 'good for you'?" asked the young shinobi perplexedly, raising a brow at him. "What were you two talking about me?"

Orochimaru's eyes widened to some extent. "Don't you worry, Sasuke-kun. You are worthy," said the sannin steadily, thinking that it was the answer the young Uchiha was waiting for. Then he gestured his hand... er, head... to him to the table. "Come. Let's eat."

"I think your servant is treacherous," uttered Sasuke as he narrowed his jet black eyes and scoffed. "Where did he get all these food? He couldn't possibly had made them here," he uttered, glancing at the dirty dishes and not to mention, the kitchen cabinets.

"Nonsense, Sasuke-kun. Kabuto is trustworthy," replied the sannin assuredly. "Oh look! This beautiful cake is melting. We must lick it at once!"

"Lick it yourself," muttered Sasuke with revulsion as he stuck his nose in the air. "I'm not going to eat any of those."

Orochimaru was about to lick the cake himself when he stopped. "Do you think I am going to believe that?" the man asked as he sat upright. "Four LONGhours have passed since you ate breakfast, my dear boy. I know you are hungry." he declared perceptively.

"Four hours? Hn, that's lame." said the unconvinced Uchiha arrogantly. "That's just four hours. That's nothing compared to six hours of not eating nor drinking, which I did in my last mission in Earth Country," he declared with an insolent smile. "You won't even last a day without eating, will you, oh legendary one?" the Sharingan-heir thought smugly.

"Six hours, hm?" said the sannin as he raised his forefinger to his chin. "We'll see." said the man, hungrily devouring all three meals in a blink of an eye. Sasuke's jaw almost dropped. "Mmm... tastes like apples," said Orochimaru merrily as he wiped his mouth with a tissue.

Sasuke furiously looked away. He should have licked the apple pie.

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2:10 pm.

Kabuto didn't enter the kitchen. He stayed in the lair's laboratory where he kept some important files which were of no sense when described here. He dashed from one filing cabinet to another, looking for an unnamed folder he called "my evil plans".

"This is hopeless!" the young lad yelled in frustration, dropping to his knees. "I'm not going to find it if I'm always like this..." he uttered, referring to his incompetence in arranging files of his own. The medic-nin had continuously been a good help in the sannin's paperworks, arranging folders and records from A-Z and knew the most important to the least important files. However, when it comes to his own paperwork, it would constantly end up as a mess.

"I have to find out whether Uchiha Sasuke is deserving of the Dark Gift, or else, all our plans will be ruined!" Kabuto yelled again. "I have to think of some way..." then his eyes glanced at the sole folder on top of his working desk.

Cocking an eyebrow, the medic-nin walked up to the folder and read the title, written in cursive black ink, "The Buddha and Me".

After reading several lines, Kabuto broke into a suspicious grin. He'd knew what to do. And there was no need to find the damn file.

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2:30 pm.

Sasuke lay in the verdant meadows, hands rested behind his head as his raven hair swayed in the cool breeze. He breathed in, smelling the fragrant smell of trees. Then sighed. Even after almost ten years, the young Uchiha could still remember. Memories that could never be erased as long as he walked in the ground and savored the air of the earth. And he remembered. That time. The time when he felt he the happiest. The time when he thought as if nothing could possibly go wrong. The time when the Uchiha Clan still existed.

He slowly sat upright. The fine genin never thought he would be treading this kind of path. The path to revenge and destuction. But he knew what he wanted. They all knew what he wanted. Take... squeeze... the life out of his murderous brother. To make him pay for all his sins. For assassinating his loving mother, Mikoto and his honorable father, Fugaku. For being such a great son, but a lame brother. For being such an excellent example of a jerk.

"You good-for-nothing, full of shit..." muttered the chidori-user vehemently as the thought brought him to the red sharingan eyes of Itachi. "Dry up and DIE!" he screamed as he punched the ground with tremendous strength that his right fist crunched and his fingers went numb under his force. He panted in anger. He could never hide the resentment he would always feel towards his own brother.

But it was of no use. As long as he remained weak, he could never dispatch his S-criminal sibling. And he remembered. That was why he was here. His reason was to acquire the Dark Gift... the cursed seal... from the immortal snake man. And now he remembered.

"Do you know why you're here?" asked a distant voice.

"What the heck do you want, Kabuto?" retorted Sasuke annoyingly as a scowl crept to his face.

"Hn, how did you know it was me?" asked the young nin interestedly, adjusting his eyeglasses with his index finger.

"It's just the three of us here, you ass. Now what the hell do you want?" the Sharingan-heir asked again impatiently as he tilted his head to the side to glower at him. He was definitely not in the mood for jokes, pranks or whatever doodahs.

"You know me... always sprouting out of nowhere to ask the most mystifying questions..." answered Kabuto in his I'm-such-a-mysterious-little-piece-of-shit tone.

"Yeah, like I care, freak. Is Orochimaru telling me something?" asked Sasuke, growing a lot more impatient this time. He stood to his feet. His face bared red, murderous eyes. "Or are you just bugging me?"

"Bugging you, huh?" spoke the medic-nin internally as he smiled a bit. "Well, Master Sasuke, Master Orochimaru asked me to read this to you." said Kabuto calmly, showing the Uchiha a white folder entitled "The Buddha".

Sasuke raised a brow at this. "What's this crap? Is this part of the training?" he asked, snatching the folder from the young traitor's grip. "The Buddha..." uttered the chidori-user scornfully as he lifted the front page and turned to the next.

"Sakyamuni: the Buddha. A Nepalese-born Indian philosopher. He renounced his life as a prince. He attained Enlightenment about 528 B.C. and developed and taught the doctrines of Buddhism," read Sasuke in a monotonous tone. "So?" he muttered apathetically.

"Turn to the second page please," came Kabuto's response as he crossed his chest.

"Hmph," retorted the Sharingan-heir tediously but did what the medic-nin told him. He flipped the folder to the second page and read the printings on it.

"Bo tree: sacred tree found in India that belongs to the fig family. Regarded as sacred by Buddhists. The Buddha Sakyamuni is said to have achieved enlightenment while sitting under a bo tree." read the young Uchiha. Unhesitatingly, he turned to the next page but found nothing. He gently closed the folder and raised his fingers to his chin as if thinking deeply. Kabuto stared at him. Then he looked at the medic-nin in conclusion. "I'm going to take up Buddhism?"

Kabuto fell, anime-style.

"Of course not... master. You're going to sit under a bo tree," explained the medic-nin with such concern. "Just like Sakyamuni and Legendary Sannin Orochimaru."

"OROCHIMARU!" Sasuke almost yelled as his eyed widened in disbelief. "That slug just sat under a tree and became a SANNIN!"

"Why, yes. Believe it or not," answered Kabuto steadily. "That was why he knew his purpose in life. He was enlightened under the influence of the sacred bo tree." he explained again.

"Bo tree..." repeated the young Uchiha as he pondered on his life, thinking if he truly had found the right path to revenge. "Do we have a bo tree around here?"

Right on track, Kabuto nodded merrily at the young shinobi. "Oh yes, we have a bo tree..." thought Kabuto impishly as his grin widened more than ever. "And it's the most SACRED bo tree you'll ever find!"

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2:40 pm.

Currently in the dark-room-with-the-melting-candle-and-other-precious-possessions room, Orochimaru fumbled for the telephone numbers. His hands were completely numb and as a result, he had a hard time dialing for the pizza house in Lightning Country. He was trying to sway his arms as much as possible, banging his head and shoulders back and forth like a ghetto rock star.

"Rubbish!" yelled the man, denoting the telephone, as he stopped such inconceivable deed. "Curse you, Sarutobi and your sealing techniques..." he thought. The sannin proceeded grumpily to his royal chair situated at the very center of the room. He looked around with his eyes and noticed a ballpoint pen laying on top of his working desk.

He smiled.

"This ought to do it!" cried Orochimaru as he pushed the telephone buttons with the ballpoint pen stuck to his mouth. "99... 5... 22... 11..." the man mumbled, recalling the pizza house's delivery number. "Done!" he exclaimed triumphantly as he spat the pen out of his mouth and collapsed to the ground with a sigh.

"Just... have to... wait for... the pizza..."

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3:45 pm.

"What's in the bo tree that enlightened the Buddha?" asked Sasuke curiously, walking steadily with Kabuto who talked him into finding the bo trees in the forests, especially those with the most special features.

"Since when did you develop an interest in the Buddha, Sasuke?" retorted the medic-nin knowingly. "You want to know your purpose in life?"

This almost caught the young Uchiha by surprise.

"I know my purpose in life, Kabuto-san," answered the chidori-user with conceit. "I just want to know if it's right."

"Oh, is that so?" the young shinobi asked again. "And since when did you pay respect to me?"

"What did you say?" came Sasuke's vindictive tone. He wasn't sure if his ears deceived him.

"You called me Kabuto-san." replied the medic nin, still in his calm voice as always. "You never called me that until this moment."

Silence filled the air.

"...So?" muttered the Sharingan-heir as he crossed his arms, uncomfortable of what this keen, clever ninja had been talking about.

"I think it's your way of thanking me." said Kabuto with a smile.

"Hmph," retorted the young Uchiha.

"Don't worry. It's appreciated." stated the medic-nin as the two ninjas continued their search for the sacred bo tree.

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4:05 pm.

"CURSE YOU, PIZZA MAN!"

An hour and a half had passed since Orochimaru's call to the pizza house in Lightning Country and yet, no delivery man had set foot in his lair. It was already getting into his nerves. He had a hard time dialing those numbers with just a pen and he still hadn't received his reward and not to mention, present, for dear his Sasuke-kun. This was so unfortunate.

"Once that delivery man arrives at the entrance, I'm going to grab the pizza and feed him to Manda..." thought the sannin wickedly as his forehead creased in frustration. All of a sudden, the telephone rang. He cocked an eyebrow at the device.

"No one has called the secret lair for years," spoke Orochimaru, pondering who could be on other line. "Bah! Who cares!" he exclaimed and decided to put the ballpoint pen again to his mouth, much to his disappointment. He pressed the loudspeaker button on the telephone and spat the pen out again.

"Hello?" his scratchy voice asked the other line. And waited.

He got dead silence.

"HELLO?" Orochimaru asked again. Louder this time.

Still nothing.

"If you are not going to speak, I'm going to summon my snakes and command them to eat you..." spoke the sannin menacingly. "WHO IS THIS?" Then he heard another voice. A female voice. Coming from the telephone.

"We're on? We're on? Okay. We're on! Hello, sir? This is Lightning Country's famous Pizza Palace! The home of the most delicious pizzas for you and your family!" said the high-spirited female voice on the other line. "We want to inform you that you just got yourself the replica of the sacred bo tree of Enlightened Buddha, Sakyamuni!" Orochimaru was speechless. "You may get it NOW at the meridian of the Hidden Forest of Shikoku, near the edge of the cliff and in between the two rivers, just like what you told us to!" explained the lady. "Thank you, sir, and have fun!" and she hung up. And so did Orochimaru. Slowly.

"What... what was that...?" stuttered the sannin due to what he had just heard. He managed to put the saliva-dripping ballpoint pen back to his ghastly mouth and turned off the loudspeaker of the telephone. "What bo tree? What Hidden Forest of Shikoku?" asked the man to no one in particular, just plain confused. "And who the heck is SAKYAMUNI!"

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Somewhere...

Holding out her papers, the high-spirited employee of Pizza Palace was asking everyone, "Who the HELL is this SAKYAMUNI!"